To my dear friend, I’m sorry…
What happens when you’re friend announces they are expecting? You’re happy for them, over the moon of course.
But, if you’ve been trying to fall pregnant, or have suffered a miscarriage, it can be really hard not to let your own emotions cloud the situation.
When my son was 8-months-old, I suffered an ectopic pregnancy. It happened as I was on a plane, but I didn’t realise at the time what was going on.
It wasn’t until I presented to hospital a few days later, white as a sheet, with a pain I cannot describe that I found out I was in a very dangerous position. I knew I was pregnant, but it was early days, so while I was anxiously waiting in the hospital bed to hear that the baby was okay, I had no idea that the situation was more, “You could die today”.
The ruptured ectopic pregnancy required emergency surgery where they needed to remove the left fallopian tube completely. I was later told that I went into shock on the table due to so much internal bleeding. It was a very real, very scary situation.
When my husband and I decided to try for another baby, I needed some fertility medication to help, as my system had essentially gone into lock down.
I knew at the time I was a higher chance of multiples because of the medication I was on, and so it didn't come as a huge shock to find out that there were in fact, two in there. I was monitored by daily blood tests, which came back a lot higher than normal, so that also gave me a heads up before the scans showed anything.
I was overjoyed the day we saw two little beans on the ultrasound and I literally had to wipe away tears to see the screen. I waited until the very early stages were over before telling friends and family our news. Twins! I nicknamed them "the buttons" and got to planning how crazy my life would be with a 2-year-old and newborn twins.
Yes, I had all the symptoms of a multiple pregnancy, and threw up constantly, but it was going to be so worth it.
It wasn't until a very routine appointment with my OB that I realised something was wrong. His normally jovial face was different as he ran the doppler over my belly. I lay there waiting, waiting. Just waiting for him to say something.