Let’s talk about Facebook-stalking our exes.
And don’t pretend you haven’t done it – we’ve all been there. Some of you more times than you’d care to admit, I’m sure.
I tell myself it’s a journalist’s natural curiosity. But really, I’m just nosey as hell.
Let’s face it: there’s no reason to be Facey friends with an ex we have nothing to do with in real life. Remember how it worked in the days before social media? Mostly we’d avoid them at all costs. Or drive by their house.
And really, that’s what Facebook-stalking is: the online equivalent of doing a late-night drive-by.
No, you can’t bring yourself to hit that “unfriend” button because you live in hope that every humble-brag status update and photo of you looking hot drives the knife a little deeper. Plus, you need to keep secretly checking that you’re still winning the break-up.
Watch the Mamamia team reveal what they’d say to ‘the one who got away’. (Post continues after video.)
Instead, the savvy among us take advantage of the magical “unsubscribe from status updates” button, many usually reserve for “new mum” friends, thus keeping the door open to casual surveillance.
But what happens when you discover that person is killing it in life – or, God forbid, that little red love heart with “engaged” pops up with their name? Oh, the agony.
And that’s exactly what new research has discovered: Facebook-stalking your ex can hurt like hell and stop you from getting over the relationship.
“Therefore, avoiding exposure to an ex-partner both offline and online may be the best remedy for healing a broken heart,” say the researchers.
You don’t say.
So why do we do it anyway?
Every time we scroll through their photos and read their updates, the last thing we want to see is that they’re married, or have a baby, or look super hot – yet it’s exactly what we’re looking for. I have no idea why we do it to ourselves. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when the pain is self-inflicted.