"In a few weeks, my 29y/o boyfriend will become a guardian of a 16y/o. I will not."

My boyfriend is about to become a guardian of a 16-year-old, and change all of our lives permanently.

I am 23 years old, my partner is 29, and in a few weeks, he will take full guardianship of a 16-year-old.

He’s known that boy, that teenager, for years, taking him for a couple of hours every week to help support him and his family. Now Adam* needs somewhere to live full time, and my boyfriend is going to provide that for him.

I will not, however.

My boyfriend will move out of our home, move interstate, move into the suburbs, and change his, Adam’s, and my life permanently.

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Despite this enormous decision, I was in no way surprised. When my boyfriend told me calmly about his plan on a warm Spring night last year, I inhaled and nodded slowly. I had seen this coming.

My boyfriend and his family are the most kind, altruistic and noble people I know. In many ways, I could’ve predicted something like this happening one day. This kindness is, after all, a huge reason as to why I’m with him.

Those around me didn’t predict this however. They had questions. Lots and lots of questions, most of which I couldn’t answer. Many of which I wanted to know the answer to as well.

So as my boyfriend transitions to become Adam’s full-time guardian, I asked him everything the people around me wanted to know.

I asked him if he was nervous. He told me that although he had some nerves, he wouldn’t have said yes to doing this without knowing he could. That having the support of his family, his friends, and me helped to relieve his nerves and give him confidence.

I asked him if he saw himself as a parent, or a brother to Adam. He said neither, before saying a combination of the two. This kind of relationship is uncharted territory for him as much as it is for me.

I asked him if I was part of his decision. He replied that although I was, he initially made a mistake by not consulting me. That he had already made his decision before speaking to me.

I asked him if he would have still made this decision if I didn’t support it. He said yes.

I asked him if there was a time limit on how long they would live together. If Adam would be expected to move out when he was 18. He said no, that Adam was becoming a part of his family, that this would be a life-long commitment.

I asked him if he saw me as part of Adam’s life. He said yes, but not as a parent-figure.

I asked him if he still wants his own kids and if this decision will push that back. He said yes, he still has plans to have his own kids. And as to whether that will be pushed back? We’ll have to wait and see.

Finally, I asked him why he’s doing this. He replied that he would have regretted it if he didn’t. That he was confident he could have a positive impact on Adam’s life.

Keep reading: Why I love living apart from my partner

I am also completely confident of this. My partner is remarkable, and has helped me achieve things I didn’t believe I could a few years ago. I support him fully, wholly and completely.

Am I scared about what the future will bring? Of course. Of course I am scared. I don’t know what my relationship with Adam will be yet, or how he’ll respond to me. At this point, we haven’t even met. There is so much I can’t predict, so much uncertainty.

But helpfully or unhelpfully, that is also true for life in general. I can’t predict or control anything in my future. I can only hold my partner’s hand from afar, and hope that he feels my support.