"Not one person ate it." 16 women share their most embarrassing Christmas baking disasters.

Baking is not exactly my forte. But each Christmas season, I continue to try my hand at some holiday baking with a very low success rate. Honestly, I’m often thankful if something is just edible. 

One year I endeavoured to make a pavlova. 

Needless to say, I couldn’t even crack an egg properly and ended up with a watery meringue flecked with stringy pieces of egg.

But the next year, I was determined to bounce back. It was time for redemption. 

Watch: Kate Middleton and Prince William bake with Great British Bake Off judge Mary Berry.

So, I gave packet mix chocolate and cherry brownies a go. Yes, it’s not exactly a classic festive dessert, but I was willing to lower the bar in order to not ruin Christmas lunch for 2020. 

 They were an embarrassment. I just may have to leave baking to the pros.

The cherry brownies, both burnt and underdone, the watery pavlova and the sh** poppy seed muffins. Image: Supplied. 

But at least my failed Christmas dessert wasn’t as bad as Rachel’s attempt at a trifle on Friends. 

So not to feel so alone, Mamamia asked 16 women to share some of their ‘best’ Christmas baking or cooking disasters. No Gordon Ramsays or Nigella Lawsons allowed. 

1. “My grandmother always shared this story with us. It was her first Christmas with my grandfather and he had come home from war. She had saved up food coupons in order to buy the ingredients for a fruit pudding. She burnt it so badly that she buried it in the backyard because it smelt so bad.”

2. “As is often the case, I’ll see these fabulous baking creations that some parent has made via Instagram, and of course they look brill. So, I decided it would be a great family bonding experience to make some Christmas-themed cake pops with the kids, specifically little reindeers. But the end result looked truly terrifying. Very much like a Nailed It episode.”

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3. “I was madly trying to prepare for our lunch on Christmas Eve at night. I was prepping both savoury and sweet, including some roast potatoes. But as I went to put the potatoes in the fridge for the following day, I dropped the tray and they smashed all over the floor. But while I was cleaning up the flying chunks of potato, I forgot that I had my mix master going with some whipped cream in there. The cream split completely, so dessert was ruined too, so that year I was really feeling the Christmas spirit.”

4. “I made fruit mince pies for an ‘orphan Christmas’ event once. Problem was, these little pies were packed with gluten, and I forgot to warn one of the gluten-intolerant guests. She pretty much spent the rest of the day on the toilet.”

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5. “I added far too much ginger to a gingerbread recipe, and it was so so spicy! Another lesson learnt, I should just stick with the recipe and follow the science rather than thinking I'm a pro chef.”

6. “I have failed making pavlovas a number of times. I even stuffed up the custard one year: totally split it and there was no going back...”

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7. “My mum is British, so she often made a trifle for Christmas each year when she was hosting. She and my dad decided to visit us for Christmas pre-pandemic, so I thought I would try my hand at making a trifle. It should be easy right? I mean it’s basically just a bit of cake, jelly, fruit and cream. But I sure messed it up. It was disgusting because the layers all blended into one another to make a bowl of goop.”

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8. “It's hilarious, my daughter had purchased a cookbook, and we got all the stuff for this cake, and we were so certain it was going to look identical. This was the best we could do. My daughter loved it though, and thank goodness it actually tasted good.”

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9. “After seriously failing at every homemade creation over the years around Christmas, I decided last year to bite the bullet and just buy a pre-made pudding from the supermarket. Only, I was super unlucky because the one I bought had some serious mould on it: definitely not a decoration!”

10. “These were the pieces we baked for a gingerbread house. But we left them in the oven for a tad too long… still nice and sturdy, and a surprisingly even colour...”

Image: Supplied.

11. “My mum and I tried to make some strawberry Santas. But the cream wasn't able to hold the strawberry Santa hat so really it just looked like a blob, very similar to this picture below.”

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A post shared by Christine Danforth - Jones (@mamamae1966)

12. “One year, my mum spent about a gazillion dollars making a super fancy Christmas trifle from a celebrity chef’s recipe. It called for spirits that only came in full-sized bottles, and ingredients only available at special provedores. I think it may have even been finished off with gold leaf! It looked incredible, but not one person ate it. Turned out, no one liked soggy, gluggy desserts.”

Listen to What I Eat When: the secret ingredients in Lisa Wilkinson's Christmas ham glaze. Post continues after audio.

13. “When my twins were eight, they decided to make some brownies in the shape of Christmas trees with some green icing. My husband and I do not know how they managed to mess it up so greatly, maybe they got the ingredient measurements wrong, but they were AWFUL. And as the supportive parents we are, we just shut up, smiled and ate them.”

14. “I made rum balls. Accidentally mixed up the liquor bottles and used whisky instead of rum. Was disgusting.”

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15. “I made a pudding with salted caramel sauce. I adopted the ‘if one measure is good then three must be better’ saying. It wasn’t… imagine just how bad a salty pudding tastes.”

16. “Tried to create a cute little gingerbread house situation. I ended up with a spiced crack house....” 

Image: Supplied.

Let us know about your baking disasters in the comments below!

Feature Image: Instagram/ @ohdeerpeyton. Instagram/ @rosannapansino.