We begin with all the dudes just dudein’ out, having a totally natural conversation, saying things like, “Mate how intense was the rose ceremony last night!?”
But… it wasn’t really. The guy who literally thought he could BUY a woman and insisted he was on Tinder for ‘business’ went home, alongside a faceless man named Dale. Seriously. Neither of us can even slightly recall what Dale looked like.
Then something happens.
Osher strolls into the impromptu dude chat with his casual shirt coupled with (what we are imagining) is a comfortable, low-key loafer. He is just one of the guys.
Osher wants you to know HE IS JUST ONE OF THE GUYS.
...mate. What... what you doin' with your right hand there? No one has done the 'peace' symbol since '08.
As is customary, Osher leaves a date card and the men all squeal and jump up and down until someone reads what's inside!
Sam, who I think we can all agree is getting more than his fair share of screen time, admits he's threatened by Lee. But instead of brainstorming how he can improve himself (eg. buy a donkey) Sam says the unimaginable; "I'll take you down and that donkey that got you here."
Point is, Jake gets the single date and they all high five because #bros.
They go to the Blue Mountains and it looks a) too early b) too cold and c) uncomfortable. Georgia takes Jake in a cable car and for a moment we think maybe it will be a normal date where they do a low-key activity with some light banter/selfies etc.
But nah. Why have fun when you can CLIMB 100 METERS INTO THE FOREST FLOOR. The activity is so intense we don't even fully understand it.
Why does EVERYONE on the Bachelor/Bachelorette have to love adrenalin and adventure? Like FFS, you're in the Blue Mountains and it's rainy and cold, do you reallllllly neeeeed to do whatever the fuck it is you're doing? Just watch a movie or somethin'. It all looks very tiring.
Back at the mansion, someone has discovered a GROUP date card. The announcement goes down something like this:
Cameron: FELLLAAAZZ. Group date card!
'Fellas' in unison: WHHHEEEEYYY.
Cameron: First name, Rhys.
'Fellas' in unison: RHHHYSSAYY.
Cameron: Next, Ben.