Oh my. This week we open on our Bachelor walking barefoot on some mossy beach rocks. But how will he do any serious thinking with that tight shirt covering his muscles? That’s way too many layers to be able to concentrate.
Hold on… Crisis averted people – he’s going topless to swim in the pool.
That was close, you guys.
Tim informs us (for what will no doubt be the first time of many this evening) that he needs to get along with FOUR sets of parents. That’s four. The number FOUR. He must meet four sets of parents. He seems confused. Why isn’t Osher here explaining the numbers? How many parents does four sets of parents equal? WHERE ARE YOU OSHER?
Too late. We’re already in Goulburn.
We know this because Anna is standing in a grass paddock and she keeps repeating the word ‘Goulburn’. In case we don’t understand that a tree in Goulburn is a Goulburn tree and a road in Goulburn is a Goulburn road, she tells us that we’re looking at a ‘Goulburn tree’ and a ‘Goulburn road’.
Anna takes Tim back to her primary school because what school wouldn’t want their students to know that if you work hard enough you can end up on The Bachelor? They drink at the tiny bubblers and inspire kids everywhere.
So, who are we going to meet tonight? DRAMATIC MUSIC TENSE CLOSE-UPS DRAMATIC DRAMA…
Anna’s dad. He’s a lawyer, which apparently means SCARY. The couple drive to her place, and we get to see some of the very nifty call-features in the shiny new Ford. Product placement dates are so romantic.
Anna’s sisters surprise her at the house. They’ve taken time off from their overseas jobs to come home because The Bachelor is in the once in a lifetime important kind of category. Obviously.
Tim charms the ladies (because muscles) but now dad’s home, and we know things are about to get serious because there’s a close-up shot of the moon in a dark sky.
OMG. Anna’s dad is AWESOME. He’s asking all the questions that you should ask the dude who has culled your daughter from a group of 25 women. YES. He asks Tim about his stripper past, wants to know what’s in this whole thing for him, and then accuses him of keeping a bunch of women captive. OMFG. This guy is amazing.
Tim isn’t sure whether he should be petrified or confused by all the big words. Maybe ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ is a good thing? He makes a mental note to Google it later and says something about strong feelings and that’s pretty much it. Oh, except for that whole part where Anna’s dad threatens to come and find him if he breaks her heart. He’ll use Ali’s tracking system to find him if need be.
It’s a new day, and the camera pans quickly across the water, so we know we’re going to a different place. We’ve left Goulburn where Anna thinks everything is prefixed with the word Goulburn. And we’re in… Perth.