Let me start this letter by saying I like you. You seem sweet and your pink-ish hue is rather nice.
However, and I think I speak on behalf of the women of Australia when I write this – you need to chill the eff out. Immediately. You also need a bit of a reality check. And maybe a mole check.
(I understand Bachelor In Paradise was filmed about five months ago, rendering my love advice in this article absolutely useless, but I have feelings and am certain you’re still a bit of a love noob, so … humour me.)
Tonight you were totally, completely, wholly over the line in expecting Keira to prioritise you over Random American Intruder Number 2. In demanding she prioritise you, and give you her undivided attention, you were being a bit of a douche.
Let me explain.