So Osher’s opening voice-over this week pretty much establishes that the focus of tonight’s episode is S.E.X. But the fun part of this episode all about sex is that nobody is ever allowed to say the word sex. For now, the words ‘no time limits’ mean SEX. For example: tonight, Tim is going on three dates with ‘no time limits’. That means three dates with SEX. He is going to ‘no time limits’ those girls soooo good.
OMFG. We open on Tim doing his serious thinking in a park. A PARK. There is NO water there. How is he going to know if he wants to ‘no time limits’ with any of these girls if he doesn’t contemplate life by the sea? HE’S GOING TO MAKE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. SOMEBODY GET HIS SHIRT OFF. STAT.
He thinks about the fact he’s going on three dates with
‘no time limits’ SEX. ALL THE SEX.
First up is Ali. Oh and we get a recap of all their lovely time together. All of her intense love condensed into one montage is actually kind of petrifying.
He picks her up from some bar, and in case we weren’t sure which car company was hosting this week’s episode:
“Wow” she says. “A Porsche!”
Nek minnit, Tim takes them to “an apple stand that I saw on the side of the road.”
That’s convenient, since there are already cameras set up in the bushes. Ali, ever the good sport, plays along with Tim’s amazing, random, apple discovery. “It was like out of a movie or something,” she says. Well that would probably explain the film crew, sweet pea.
And it looks like Porsche may be sponsoring this episode, but I think apples are definitely sponsoring this date. Because it makes perfect sense that apples would sponsor things. Tim offers Ali a refreshing bottle of apple cider before they tuck into some delicious apple pie, all the while sitting next to a basket of apples.
Anyone else feel like eating an apple while driving a Porsche? I think this shit works.
Tim asks her about that weird word he’s never heard before, maybe it was ‘book’?
Yup – she’s been reading “Recipes for a perfect marriage” and wants to tell him all about it. It made her cry at the end.
“That’s like me watching a movie on a plane,” Tim helpfully adds.
The Apple King is so horrified by this sad display that he immediately revokes sponsorship and the quaint, ‘random’ apple picnic comes to an abrupt end.
Ooohh. We cut to a setting sun with some dramatic music. Are they about to ‘no time limits’ all over each other’s bodies?
They get offered the room key to the ‘Love Cabin’. That name is the perfect sign Ali’s been waiting for. She is locking this thing down TONIGHT. She is going to show him allll of the ‘no time limits’ moves.