real life

“Your first baby shower is lovely. But a second is greedy.”

This is going to make me pretty unpopular with some, but I’m going to say it…

Baby showers are a one time thing. ONE TIME!  Anything more than that is just being greedy.

To me, baby showers are a celebration of a woman becoming a mother. All the ladies close to the preggy one get together and eat tiny little sandwiches and play games focused on nappies and bottles. It’s a fun way of welcoming the woman to her soon-to-be role as Mummy, a new chapter of her life, a new club of which she has never been a part of.

I guess that’s just the way I’ve always seen it.

Therefore, holding a baby shower for subsequent children is just not necessary and really, if the last couple I’ve been to are anything to go by, it’s just all a bit grubby.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my Aunt and cousins held the most amazing, beautiful baby shower for me.  It’s a very special memory, because I didn’t think I would have a baby shower at all.

Thinking that a shower was generally thrown by the grandmother-to-be (or a close female relative), as a symbolic celebration of her daughter about to become a mother, I assumed that it just wasn’t on the cards for me. I had lost my mother when I was younger, so when my Aunt asked if she could throw ME (not the baby) a shower, I was thrilled.

Know the feeling.

I guess my feelings on the multiple baby shower situation stem from what I thought a baby shower was. If you look at it like I do, a celebration of the new role of motherhood, then yes, a baby shower is a one time event, held at the time you first become a mother.

However, I guess if you think of a baby shower as a celebration of the actual baby, then yeah, maybe a shower per child may be warranted. But wouldn't you celebrate the baby once it's here rather than nestled up in the baby oven not even knowing who or what we are celebrating? And why wouldn't the father and male friends/family be involved if it was about the baby and not the mother?

I've been invited to a few baby showers recently for women having second and third children, and frankly it just felt a bit awkward. There wasn't the same uncertainty, the same excitement as a  shower for a first baby. The women had been there before. They had all the usual baby requirements and equipment that you would usually give a first time mother.

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Instead, I left both showers feeling like the experience was, frankly, a bit of a present grab.

For one of the showers, I was actually sent a gift register. A gift register for a baby shower! I guess the mother didn't want to double up on stuff that she already had. Oh that's right, because she already was given most of it when she had her first child and became a mother. I kid you not, the invitation actually said, "if you are unable to join us, (insert name of store) can arrange to have your item posted to (friend)".

Classy.

How about if I want to send a gift to the child, I will do so when said child is born.

It's all fun and games until somebody brings the wrong present.

At the other baby shower, the mother-to-be told us that, "we wouldn't be playing games" because she had "done all that" the first time round!

So, remind me again why I'm here? Should I just drop the present at the door and go home? Do I then need to get you something else when the baby gets here?

Last time I checked, it wasn't your friend's responsibility to ensure you have every single item you wanted ready for baby. What's that? You didn't have a baby carrier first time round, and think you may need one for the new baby? Here's an idea. Buy one.

With my second child, there was no baby shower. I would have felt too awkward really. Instead I wanted to hold a "baby sprinkle"  to welcome him to our world. A small gathering of all our friends (male and female), to celebrate the fact that he is here, among us. Celebrate that we had been blessed enough to have him.  No presents required.

What do you think? Are baby showers a one time event? And anymore is just being greedy?

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