By MAMAMIA TEAM
A seriously heinous letter has been doing the rounds on social media and various news sites today.
It’s possibly the hate letter to beat all hate letters, directed at a 13-year-old Canadian boy named Max, and his family. Max has autism, and has been staying at his grandmother’s house over the summer, playing in her backyard, which is the safest place for him to be.
But Hate Letter Writer doesn’t like Max playing outside. Hate Letter Writer – who, worryingly, is a MOTHER, with CHILDREN OF HER OWN – wants Max to stay inside so that she doesn’t have to hear the noises that he makes. In fact, she’d like Max and his family to move to “a trailer in the woods or something” so that her day is no longer disturbed by a “special needs kid”.
We have a theory that Hate Letter Writer also hates rainbows, cupcakes and Beyonce.
Just sayin’.
Here at MM, we’ve made the decision to not republish the letter in full (although you can read it here if you really want to. We suggest you do not.) But what we would like to do is REWRITE parts of the letter for Hate Letter Writer. Because they obviously never got taught the whole, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” rule….
To the lady living at this address:
You have a kid that is mentally handicapped and you consciously decided that it would be a good idea to live in a close proximity neighbourhood like this???? You selfishly put your kid outside everyday and let him be nothing but a nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling he constantly makes!!!
Hey there. I’m a mother who lives nearby (although it’s hard to NOT live nearby in a close proximity neighbourhood such as this!). I just wanted to contact you and let you know that I’ve noticed your child Max outside everyday, playing in the sun. So I am dropping you a quick line to to introduce myself, and let you know I have kids around the same age and that I’d love to get them together to play more often.
That noise he makes when he is outside is DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! It scares the hell out of my normal children!!!!!
My own children have not previously had a lot of contact with children who have special needs. But they’ve loved getting to know Max; his beautiful personality and his wonderful smile. It’s a great lesson for them to learn that just because someone might be slightly different to you, doesn’t mean you can’t be good mates.
Crying babies, music and even barking dogs are normal sounds in a residential neighbourhood!!!!! HE IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Top Comments
LOL. Two extreme viewpoints, one from the original writer, one from the rewriter, both wrong.
Perspective is your friend. Remember that.
Its been a couple of days since I visited MM and this topic.
I really have to say I'm absolutely astounded by the number of people that really believe this letter is fake. On one hand, it really doesn't matter to me if its fake or real. If its faked, then this family has obviously been pushed far enough that they felt the need to do it.
But I don't think it IS faked. I think its real. And the reason why I think its real is because I've seen enough of this attitude when we're out. I've had people say to me "Hmmm... maybe you should keep him home?" and - while on the ground with one of my children outside a Target while they were having a melt down - "Oh. You know they have child minding at the Bronco's Leagues Club?".
Now I know someone will just think that these people were maybe just being helpful, or just trying to make conversation (hot tip: While I'm on the ground with my kid trying to protect him from hurting himself or anyone else isn't really the time) but these are not just one off experiences. They're every time we leave the house. And we have to leave the house, because we are human beings and we're allowed to do that, but a massive part of raising someone on the spectrum is trying to help them in social situations, ie, leaving the house. We're trying to raise 2 boys on the spectrum and their lovely little sister, and we're allowed to leave the house. We're allowed to go out to dinner, and we're allowed to go to the supermarket and the playground.
And another thing: there are also a lot of very very positive comments here, and they've all been wonderful to read. Can I beg everyone who's done so to put it in to action? My eldest son was in mainstream school for 3 years before we enrolled him in special school, and while no one ever actually said to our faces they didn't want him there, or complained about him taking up valuable teacher time, their actions spoke. Never invited to a birthday party. Never invited to a play date. Never.
So do it. Invite them. If you're unsure about how you will handle it if a situation comes up, talk to mum about it - I guarantee you she'll welcome the conversation. If you don't want to do that, then just say "hey... why don't you and Johnnie come over for a coffee after school on Wednesday" or "I found this great fenced playground near our place, do you want to meet there on Thursday? I'll bring a bun cake, you bring the coffee".
Actions speak volumes, and words can cut like a knife.