food

10 things anyone who grew up overseas thinks about Christmas in Australia.

I moved to Australia from the UK almost 10 years ago.

There are many things that my adopted home does better – beaches, summer and Tim Tams to name a few – but there’s one time of year that just doesn’t compare. Christmas.

Obviously, everyone believes their own Christmas traditions and celebrations are the “right” way to do things, but for me there are just a few things missing with an Aussie Christmas. Here’s what’s going through the mind of anyone not born in Australia this time of year.

1. It doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all.

The tinsel may be out, the mince pies in store and retail assistants sick to death of Mariah Carey, but it just doesn’t feel like Christmas at all.

While it’s certainly improved in recent years, Christmas in Australia has often felt like a one-day holiday that falls in the middle of summer rather than the defining event of the whole month of December.

There’s not quite the same level of festive spirit you find in the Northern hemisphere.

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Image: iStock

2. Where is the snow?

Alright, so it never ACTUALLY snowed in my 12 Christmases spent in the UK (but every one since I left, go figure) but there's something almost disconcerting about watching all the traditional Christmas movies with characters rugged up in hats, scarves and gloves while you sit in shorts and a t-shirt, blasting the aircon.

I want cold, crisp weather that makes me want to run home and drink warm eggnog or mulled wine, sit by the fire and fall asleep to Michael Buble.

3. Swimming and surfing on Christmas? Unthinkable.

And not just because I'm not very good at either. Christmas is for eating all the chocolates in your stocking before 9am, eating five helpings of lunch but still having room for pudding, and then falling asleep in a greedy haze of content.

There are far too many people running, swimming, surfing and just generally exercising on Christmas day.

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Image: iStock

4. The weather is not conducive to wearing Christmas jumpers.

It's Christmas and I'll wear a pun-tastic, lame, ugly Bridget Jones-inspired jumper if I want to... only I'll have to turn the air conditioner on and sit in front of three fans and still only last five minutes because it's so bloody hot.

Side note: To whoever decided it was a good idea to force me into a bikini the same day I plan to eat twice my weight in food? I hope Santa brings your toddler a recorder.

5. Christmas TV is crap.

Half of Britain lives for all the Christmas Day specials, from our favourite soaps to period dramas.

Here, TV around Christmas is considered the "off season" - no wonder so many of us have watched every Christmas film at least 1700 times. (Post continues after gallery.)

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6. What is this seafood marlaky?

Don't get me wrong, I love (like, LOVE) seafood but at Christmas time there's only one thing I want to see on my plate: turkey.

Oh, and pigs in blankets (mini sausages wrapped in bacon), homemade stuffing, roasted parsnips, crunch potatoes, carrot and swede, Brussells sprouts, cranberry sauce and gravy.

7. It's too hot to eat too much.

As you probably guessed, I love my food. And at Christmas time, I have a personal competition with myself to see how many helpings I can go back for.

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Having the weather too hot to allow me to reach my full potential of a serious food coma? It should be a criminal offence.

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Heaven. Image: Brittany Stewart

8. Chocolate decorations on the tree is a bad, bad idea.

Arguably one of my favourite decorations to put up on my tree, any kind of chocolate decoration is a no-no. Why? One hot day and it will melt in approximately three seconds.

9. No love for desserts.

Mince pies, custard and the traditional and humble Christmas pud - they all seem to have a bad rap Down Under. They might not be quite as colourful or healthy as your beloved Pavlova, but they're a festive must-have.

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Image: iStock

10. This is actually OK.

Sitting lazily post-Christmas lunch floating in the pool/by the sea with a frozen cocktail in hand, hours of light still left in the day, surrounded by family and friends and the temperature sitting at a pleasant 30 degrees?

Yeah, Australia - you go alright.

What's your favourite Christmas tradition?