"I will never use a babysitter, it's just not safe."

I’ve realised something about myself lately which makes me a little sad. I have a real problem trusting people. Especially people who care for my children. So I just can’t bring myself to use a babysitter. I think it’s just not safe.

I first noticed that I seemed to be a minority in the parenting world when I was discussing the amount of date nights my friends and their partners shared. I’m sure the conversation started with one of us venting about how we never get to ‘switch off’ and enjoy adult time with our husbands like we once did. That person was probably me, and maybe I only have myself to blame for that.

One particular friend mentioned that she and her husband enjoy weekly nights out together by using a babysitter that they found on a local mother's Facebook page. She didn't know the woman prior to a brief interaction via private messaging, and the kids had never met her. My friend left the children in her care and headed out to dinner.

When I saw another friend post in a similar group recently seeking the services of a babysitter, I realised that this was the done thing. People just hired others to mind their children; be it for work or social reasons.

Often the respondents to these posts seeking a babysitter claim to have experience in childcare, nannying and possibly even first aid but at the end of the day, they are still just strangers from the internet. I can't bring myself to do it.

Of course, I would love to head out into the night with my husband and enjoy some time together but I know in my heart that there is no way I could relax with a virtual stranger in my house, responsible for the most important things in my world.

I do find it sad. I only think this way because of how, as a society, we have distanced ourselves from one another. We don't trust each other the way we once did. There is no sense of community.

Back when I was young, my parents regularly left my brother and I with the local babysitter. Usually, they were teenage girls who lived in our street, or friends of friends. But now as a parent, I look back and wonder how anyone did that?

With daily news stories about abductions, pedophiles, drug use and god knows what, as a mother I just can't leave my kids with someone I don't know.

Is it that our world is just a little scarier than it was when I was a child? Or is it that these things are just more out there thanks to social media?

Whatever the reason, the impact is that I will not and cannot leave my kids with people I don't know, regardless of how badly I want a nice meal in a restaurant and some decent adult conversation.

Luckily, my husband feels the same way (in fact, he is probably more wary), so the impact on our relationship is non existent.

However, I know that as a couple we need some one-on-one time. The effect of not wanting to use a stranger to care for our children is sometimes significant.

With little family around us, my husband and I rarely get any opportunity to go out with out the kids. If we do, we have to rely on a few key relatives to offer to mind the boys. We never want anyone to feel that they have to provide babysitting, so we try and keep the requests to a minimum.

Our children, our responsibility.

I need to remember that sometimes when I am unable to attend friend's birthdays and social gatherings as a couple, it is because of my decision to not have a babysitter. But to me, the small sacrifice of missing out on social events is far outweighed by the peace of mind knowing that my children are safe in their beds.

Do you use babysitters?