Editor’s note: This post deals with post-natal depression and may be upsetting for some people.
Newly married, Kelly believed she was ready to have children. She met her partner and knew that he would be a great father, and felt that maybe she was ready to start trying to have a baby.
But when the baby came, it was not what she expected.
She was convinced she and her husband had made a mistake. She seriously considered putting her child up for adoption. She was anxious all the time, and was living with it because she didn’t realise it could be any better.
She recently sat down with her now 19-month-old and Mamamia’s Editorial Director and Publisher Mia Freedman to talk about this period in her life, and where she’s at now.
Post-natal depression is incredibly difficult for everyone involved.
It’s difficult for the parents, the child, and it’s particularly difficult to talk about it openly and honestly.
But it’s also damn important that people have a conversation about it.
If you can’t watch the video at this exact moment, this is a short excerpt of what Kelly said:
“For me the pregnancy was fine, the birth was great. It was everything that came afterwards: the change of routine, the lack of independence, lack of flexibility and being stuck at home all the time.
First of all we just said, ‘Right, this was a big mistake. Can we perhaps adopt him out? Can we leave him on a tram or on the curb?'”
Kelly realised she felt very anxious all the time, and it was a GP who diagnosed her with anxiety and post-natal depression.
“I was waking up all night in anticipation of him waking up. I was changing the adjusting straps on his nappy like twenty times to make sure it was not too tight or too loose.”
She’s still not sure whether she wants to do it all again with a second child, but she is not scared of developing post-natal depression again. Why? Because she, and others, are much more able to have conversations like this, and it makes identifying it and living with it that little bit easier.
If you love this video, you will love the others in this series. Mia has talked to Courtney Beck about how she made a website to find a partner, her sister-in-law Nicky Lavigne about surrogacy, and first-time mum Jenny about her incredible experience with adoption.
If this post brings up issues for you, you can also visit Beyondblue: the national depression initiative online, or call them on 1300 22 4636. You should also talk to your local GP or maternal health professional.
Have you ever experienced post-natal depression, or do you know someone who has? How did you deal with it?
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Top Comments
I found this sponsored article very hard to relate to. The video itself doesn't give credit to this woman's experience.
I have a four month old baby. I had a very difficult pregnancy that resulted in 3 separate surgeries for my kidneys at 20,27 and 32 weeks.
I had perfect blood pressure, no swelling, minimal weight gain even though I had a 9 pound baby - everything was perfect. Except my kidneys which struggled under the pressure of pregnancy.
I suffered with PND almost as soon as my son was born and was devastated about it. He was very much wanted and planned for and yet I remember having the thought after he was born that I had ruined my life by having him.
Four months on, with the help of medication I am feeling good, loving my baby boy and trying to feel at ease with the biggest adjustment of my life.
I just feel as though this video glided over the enormity of this woman's experience.
Kelly you are so brave talking so openly - thank you! Hopefully this will encourage more women to talk about it and know it is common and it is ok and will get better if you get help. Bravo to you Kelly!