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Cinderella, instead of going to the ball, grow some.

With the recent release of Disney’s new Cinderella movie, I have pondered this poor young girl’s dilemma and often wondered why her Fairy Godmother didn’t give Cinderella some REAL advice. Some that she could actually use not just on the night of the ball but in her life. For happily ever after.

What good was it fluffing her up in a pretty dress, sending her off on a date with a man she’d met once, knowing it was all going to fall apart at midnight ( sounds an awful lot like many of MY dates)?

These days I am a proud divorced mother of three , struggling to get through each day while attempting to retain a morsel of sanity. Life isn’t a fairytale at all. It’s real and sometimes as ugly as those step sisters.

Lily James in the latest Cinderella

So what would I tell Cinderella if I was her Fairy Godmother?

1. Enjoy your body.  The actress who played you in the movie had to go on a starvation diet and suck her ribs into a corset so even for her, that teeny tiny waist was fleeting. As soon as your body spits out a child, elastic waists are your friend.

2. Don’t you DARE run off with the first man you get serious with! I know this from personal experience. Play around the kingdom for a while.

3. If you think you’re sick of housework now, wait until you’ve been at work for eleven hours and come home to dishes, vacuuming, cooking dinner for kids who probably won’t eat it, scooping dog poo off the lounge because one of the kids didn’t let it outside, and sewing buttons on a shirt that HAS to be worn within 5 minutes notice. And all this within 10 minutes of being home.

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4. Enjoy those animal helpers baby, because once you’re mistress of your own castle, you’re on your own.

5. Your Step-mother is a saint compared to some Mother-in-laws. Especially if she thinks you’re not worthy of her precious prince in tights.

6. Enjoy the ball, lovey, because once the princes and princesses arrive, you either won’t get another night out for 10 years, or you’ll be too tired to get out of your dressing gown. Which leads me to number 7…

7. Make the most of wearing that party dress. Photo bomb at every opportunity so there’s loads of visual proof that you ever wore such finery. It’s about to go ker-poof. Life eats away the spare change for luxuries like glamorous dresses.

Cat Whelan

8. Don’t break into song every six minutes. It’s creepy.

9. That chauffeured pumpkin-turned-carriage is going to be a pleasant memory soon. It won’t be long until the tables are turned and you’re the one chauffeuring kids, their muddy friends on the footy team, and a car load of frilly ballerinas.

10. Those cute singing mice are going to look a lot less cute when they scuttle out of the saucepan cupboard, run up your arm and jump into your lamb casserole, the only thing you had left in the freezer for dinner.

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11. If your prince can’t stand up to his parents now, he never will. Soon your kids will be named Prince Humperbilko and Princess Claudmerelda.

12. Yes, I know shoes can change your life, but so can a rewarding career and good wi-fi.

13. You don’t have to BE a Princess to command respect. Act gracefully with kindness and generosity, but don’t let those bitches step on your new shoes.

Bottom line Cinderella, I can bibbity-bobbity-boo you all I can, but is it going to encourage you to be the best version of yourself you can be? Don’t you want to grow, get out of this kingdom, travel, have the opportunity to be independent?

Watch the trailer for the movie here (post continues after video)

 

Instead of worrying about going to a ball, how about growing a pair, standing up to that stepmother living in YOUR house, and change your name to something worthy of a title.

You don’t need a prince to rescue you. Pawn that glass slipper, start your own business and soon you can have your own chain of shoe shops, or cleaning businesses, whatever you want.

Remember: a dream is a wish your heart makes, so make it a good one.

This post originally appeared on Divorced Supermum and has been republished here with full permission.

Catherine is a freelance writer, editor of a bridal magazine, blogger, proofreader and occasional baker. Also a full- time working super- mum of three human offspring and two fur babies. Find out more about her here, and follow her on Facebook here.