I think in the olden days people got to know each other in real life.
I could be wrong but my Mum and Dad met at a pub and they weren’t even Facebook friends first. Crazy right?
Gone are the days of striking up a conversation in person, whether it be at a bar or your local coffee shop. We’ve waved goodbye to the fine art of courting. These days you can find a romantic interest, through the power of internet. Oh social media is there anything you can’t do?
As an experiment, and after hearing numerous stories from my friends, I decided to join the matchmaking app Tinder. Tinder is the app everyone’s talking about today. Basically it grabs photos and information from your Facebook profile, then it shows those photos and some info (like the number of mutual friends you have) to people of the opposite sex who can then decide if they’d like to talk to you.
They swipe to the left if they like you and to the right if they, well, don’t.
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
I was a bit hesitant to sign up to Tinder using my Facebook, but they promised me they wouldn’t put my information anywhere, and naturally you can trust everything on the internet, right? So for the purpose of research, I took a deep breath and signed up. The app itself works like this: you can fiddle with the settings to choose a distance, age and gender of who you’re looking for. An individual will then pop up, where you can view a tops of five of their photos, a tagline, as well as see how many common interests and Facebook friends you have. You then have the power to swipe yes or no, depending on if they take your interest or not. If you’ve swiped yes on someone’s profile, and they have also given you the tick of approval, then you’re a match and you can begin having a conversation with that person.
Turns out having the power to swipe people in and out of your life is highly addictive. To start with I didn’t like too many random people. I kept finding people I know and liking them instead because I’m ironic and funny like that. Basically, so far, Tinder has served a purpose for me to start ridiculous conversations with my friends. I’ve even been able to use a variety of pick-up lines. I politely asked my friend if he was ‘DTF’ because I’m pretty sure that means Drink Tea on Friday. I think he’s keen. I hope he likes green tea with mint infusion.
Today a guys tagline described himself as ‘a simple guy, that enjoys listening to Nickleback and Destiny’s Child.’ I can only assume he’s taking the piss, but I’m not as brave as Avril Lavinge – I cannot match with anyone who has a penchant for listening to Chad Kroeger tunes.
I took the plunge and decided to start a conversation with a male who I don’t actually already know. “So Tinder thinks our babies are going to be pretty good looking,” I kindly told my match Jordan. (Hey, tinder pointed it out first, not me). For some reason, he’s yet to reply. I guess Jordan’s not going to be my Tinder surprise.
Mid-week Tinder was starting to bore me a little, so I decided my boring tagline (or lack thereof) had to go. In its place I wrote a new description, one that would surely make my mother proud.
“My interests include writing Harry Potter fan fiction, rapping meaningful lyrics for da boiz and twerking while licking a hammer.” Hey if it works for Miley, it could work for me. It’s only a matter of time before boys start fervently hitting ‘like’ on my Tinder page, I just know it.
I also adjusted my distance settings to 50 miles, so I’d get to people as far as Sydney. If at first you don’t succeed, you gotta pick yourself up and Tinder again. Or something.
So a guy started chatting to me for all of 5 minutes before he wanted to take our relationship to the next level – Facebook. I’m not sure if I’m ready for this type of commitment. In our tinder chat he told me I seem to have a great rig. I thought the term rig had something to do with sailing boats. Or a truck. Wait. Is he calling me fat?!
I’ve matched with a lot more guys in the past day or so. I’m assuming it’s down to the new bio, and also the fact I changed my picture to me of one standing with a cardboard cut out of One Direction.
“What’s this Harry Potter fan-fic involve?” one curious dude asked me. I proceeded to tell him the basic plot line of ’50 Shades of Snape,’ but he seemed a little confused at my (too) fast answer, and backed off a little after that. Obviously not the Prince Charming to my Tinderella.
A lot of males on Tinder seem to like posing with their shirts off in front of mirrors. I’m not really sure what the go with that is. I’ve found myself for likely to click ‘like’ on profiles where people are looking a lot more natural/look like they’re having fun, in comparison to another dude flexing his massive guns in the mirror. Sick tattoo sleeve bro. See you at stereosonic next year (not).
A girl I know actually braved a Tinder date. Her and her date went out for pizza, and after gobbling down his share, he made her pay for the dinner, while also taking her leftovers home in a doggy bag. What an absolute catch.
Back on my tinder, my latest match Ben jumped straight to the punch. “I think I’d quite like to have sex with you,” he said. Um, what.
In summary here’s what I’ve learned from Tinder. A lot of people my age that I know use it – whether they’re taking the piss or using it seriously to connect with new people. There is definitely a certain ego-stroking thrill to be had when you like someone and they have already liked you back. Something that surprised me was that I got more likes with a quirky bio, than just your standard one – so personality can still play a part in online dating. Also just a handy tip for future male Tinder users: if your profile picture is you standing in front of a mirror, pouting, and flexing your guns, it’s an immediate swipe to the murky areas of ‘nope.’