BY SYLVIA FREEDMAN
Do you know a young lass on the cusp of womanhood?
Well have we got a treat for you. And her. To celebrate the milestone event of her first period, you can now have a party to celebrate, featuring some very specific merchandise.
A company that goes by the subtly chic name of ‘Menarche Parties R’Us’ has developed a line of party supplies specially designed for the shindig you have (what? you didn’t have one?) in honour of your very first period.
Their fine selection of merchandise includes Girlhood to Womanhood Partyware decorated with inspirational words such as ‘self-respect’, ‘abstinence’ and ‘puberty rocks!’ (Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it just?)
Being mentally prepared for puberty is important, on that we can agree.
Menarche Parties R’Us know this all too well and so have developed a greeting card with a fun checklist called ‘Puberty Symptoms’ inside, where recipients can excitedly tick the boxes off as they progress. Celebratory symptoms include: Acne. Rapid foot growth. Wider hips. Weight gain. Overactive sweat glands. (Aw, remember that? We’re getting teary.)
Also available is a twist on the old crowd favourite, ‘Pin the Ovaries on the Uterus’. Or if the whole shemozzle is all too overwhelming, mums can simply purchase the ‘Menarche Party Package’, which includes step-by-step Menarche Party Instructions so as to “make her transition special”.
It was during an editorial meeting here at the Mamamia office that the topic of Period Parties arose, swiftly followed by shrieks of laughter and assorted exclamations of “Seriously?” and “How bizarre!”
Desperately trying to conceal my secret, I threw in a nervous and forced “Yeah… so weird….” and attempted to come up with some kind of conversational diversion.