Nine “I’m-so-totally-a-parent-now” moments that mean you’ve definitely earned your mummy stripes.
There are those Kodak-ready milestones of parenthood you read about in the books – the gummy smile, first day of school, the lost tooth – and then there are those moments that you don’t so much enjoy as endure. Just because they weren’t fun doesn’t mean we’re not chuffed for having handled them. Here are nine parenting badges you should wear with pride.
1. When your kid throws up
The only thing we enjoy less than our kids throwing up is heaving ourselves. However, at least we are sensible enough to usually deposit said vomit in the toilet. Kids, with their still-developing sense of body awareness, not so much. You may live in fear of your child throwing up, but once it happens, even if it happens ON YOU, you realise you can get actually get through this. Somehow, instinct takes over and you clean up, bathe and comfort your kid. It’s only after you’re done when the PTSD kicks in and you wait in horror for the next vomitfest — or for it to hit you next.
2. When your kid has a tantrum in public
Sometimes you just have to hold firm, even if it means your child going to totally lose his shiz in front of what feels like the whole world. You’ll endure dirty looks, name-calling, kicks to the shins, sweaty pits, and possibly eardrum damage but the satisfaction you’ll feel from not giving in will be worth it.
3. When you have to change a nappy without a changing table
Everyone was a baby once, so why wouldn’t every single restaurant and store owner think to install a comfortable spot to change a nappy? You walk back from the restroom defeated, with a terrible choice: change your bubba on a chair in public view or lay them on the yucky restroom floor. Handle this one – and quick – and you’ll be able to tackle normal nappy-changing situations in your sleep.
4. When you have to breastfeed in public
You’re all about your right to not be a shut-in just because you’re choosing to breastfeed your baby, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel a little awkward whipping out the boob, especially when baby’s looking around and leaving you exposed. Do it once – chanting to yourself that your baby has a right to eat wherever and whenever – and stare down anyone that throws shade. Next time it will be easier.