This parenting gig doesn’t come with a manual.
Oh sure, it comes with a lot of well-meaning “advice” from friends, family and strangers, but it really doesn’t prepare you for the stages you inevitably encounter as your child grows. It’s like a secret society that you are only allowed to enter when you yourself have endured the same terrifying times. But I’m here to prepare you, perhaps act as a cautionary tale and, as someone who has been there twice now, to warn you of what you are in for with an 11-year-old. Something I wish I’d known when I went through it.
1. They will start to shower for an hour.
This is commonly known as the ‘Hour of Shower’. A year ago you couldn’t get these kids INTO the shower, now you can’t get them out. And shower time will become even longer once school goes back – suddenly, your 11-year-old will take a new interest in their appearance. There will be much pounding on doors and screams of “I’m washing my hair!” only for them to emerge some time later, annoyed at your interference. The only upside to this is that you know that they will be clean. But their room sure as hell won’t be.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Combantrin®, But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.
2. You will need to procure a ‘Hazmat’ suit to enter their bedroom.
No, seriously. If you think you are going to walk into your 11-year-old’s bedroom and not leave requiring a Tetanus shot, think again. Most of them are quite simply filthy animals. For some unknown reason, it seems physically impossible for them to return dishes to the sink or remove last Tuesday’s underpants from the bedroom floor. If you’re anything like me, “back to school” time is also “clean your room and get organised” time. So get prepared by possibly procuring a gas mask.
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As an eleven year old myself, by observing my, and other eleven-year-old's, behavior(s), I have to say that this is not the accurate display of an eleven-year-old. Though we are, indeed, entering our "tween years", that doesn't mean that we as a whole are these weird, lazy, messy creatures that you need to control. I'm not sure if your reputation of us is based solely on your own child, and that is why it isn't accurate, or if the way my classmates and I are are different from average 11-year-old, but either way, I am going to explain what is wrong with each and every one of you claims to my own knowledge, and what we are actually like.
1. We do not shower for an hour, and, if anything, we shower for shorter amounts of time than we did when we were younger. In fact, when I was younger was when i took your so-called "Hour Showers". Now I keep my showers to a minimum time. Heck, my longest shower this year was only fifteen minutes! Also, age doesn't matter on how much a kid enjoys showers. To be honest, every kid despises showers, just until they're in one. By the way, the only reason that we would take a super long shower is not because we "care about our appearance" or "don't want people to dislike us because of our personal hygiene", it's because we get lost in thought, which, to be honest with you, everybody does sometimes in the shower, even you.
2. You will not "need to procure a 'Hazmat'" in order to survive being in our rooms. Yes, we may get a bit lazy sometimes and wait a while before putting something away, but it's not like every single inch of our floors are covers in this months laundry that we refuse to put away. When I look inside my own room, or even my friends' rooms, it is not that dirty or messy what-so-ever. Some kids might not have room to put their stuff, making their rooms cluttered a bit with the stuff they have no room for, and if that is your child's situation, then either they have to get rid of some stuff, OR you could just buy them some MORE STORAGE.
3. Ok, I will give it to you, I do care about going back to school, but none of my classmates do, and I don't care because of my "appearance". In fact, I have always cared about back to school, but the reason why is not because of buying new outfits, getting a new haircut, or getting cute non-essential school supplies, I enjoy it because I thoroughly enjoy organizing and buying essential school supplies. Also, for the so-called "essential items" that you listed, sure you might need to have them on hand, but them "not remembering" them? The reason why they don't bother asking or remembering is because they know that it's something that you, as a parent, need to keep track of. They, though needed, are not items that kids would use in their daily lives (some exclusions for the sandwich bags, but only if they pack their own lunches).
4. First of all, we do not get angry if you ask us how our day was. If we are to act like that, it may be just because we're in a bad mood. If there is something we don't want to talk about, or just don't feel like explaining our day to you, that does not mean we are angry at you, so stop blowing this out of proportion. And if the reason you said that is because your child gets outraged when you ask them about their day, then you might have some issues with you and your child's connection. Second of all, look, just because we are "tweens" does not mean that we have constant or daily mood swings. And if we do have occasional mood swings, then, most likely, it's not because we're embarrassed, like you claim us to be. It's probably because we're angry over some little thing. Don't assume things about kids without their actual input.
5. We do not immediately begin to excessively roll our eyes once we turn 11. If we are asked to do something we do not want to do, we MAY roll our eyes in frustration, but most likely we will either comply or ask why. Also, eye rolling does not go hand in hand with mood swings, if mood swings were even a thing that happened. Unless to have a very emotional kid, it is very unlikely that that eye rolling will "become an art form".
6. Everybody is lazy, but saying that kids in particular are lazy because we don't do much all day (news flash: we actually do) is just wrong. Also, don't get all of your facts from television, it's not accurate. We know what being responsible is and how to be, but some of us just choose to not be responsible, as we are just kids, and won't need to be responsible until we get older. As for the back to school thing, the reason why we don't want to do homework isn't because we're lazy, it's because of the school education system, but I'll save that for another rant.
7. Ok, this is just crazy now, what 11-year-old is going around drenching themselves in celebrity branded perfume? And why??? Seriously, I am so confused I couldn't fake it. Is this your child your child we're talking about? Who's child is this? I really want to know.
8. Final one, and here's what I have to say about it. I'm sorry, but crushes don't necessarily sprout up once our hormones kick in. Why do I say this? Because I have had a crush for every single year I've been in school since pre-school, so don't blame it on hormones. By the way, the whole reason why kids don't tell their parents about their crushes is either because they are afraid that their parents will do something about it (such as telling their crush or giving you tons of advice, constantly), not stop bugging them about it, or get mad at them for having a crush at "such a young age" even though they can't help that they feel this way. Please, just stay out of kid's personal lives, they only tell their friends about this stuff because if they told you about it and you didn't agree with them on something, you would have the power to punish them for living their life the way that they want, while their friends don't have that power and won't judge them like that.
In conclusion, basically everything that you have said in this post was either completely wrong or wrong to some extent. Please actually ask kids or parents about this kind of stuff to compare it to your experiences before making assumptions based off of nothing except your own kid - and not even asking your kid their side of the story. And don't tell me that I'm taking this too far just because I'm a kid, I don't want people reading this and treating me differently just because of your assumptions on kids based off very little fact and mostly inference.
PS: If you've made it all the way to the end, I am very proud of you, this took a while to write so I hope that at least somebody read this whole thing, considered my opinion and observations, and made a logical decision to either agree or disagree.
You are so right I am also 11 and appreciate that you wrote that you stuck up to someone and you have a big input now. Thank you.
This is nothing like my 11 year old. I think this is more to do with the parents treating 11 year olds as if they were teenagers. I mean, who buys an 11 year old Britney Spears perfume or foundation. Obviously some parents do, but I can usually tell from the kids.