January 20, 2012. I will never forget that date. Thinking I was home alone with my four boys, then ages 5 and under, my handyman caught me in a full on, red in the face, body shaking, throat throbbing scream so bad that all my boys burst into tears. I was mortified. Mortified! And so sad; this was not the mum I had ever dreamed I would be! The next day I decided enough was enough and I promised my boys I would go 365 days straight without yelling. Soon thereafter I discovered that rhinos are calm animals that charge when provoked; I was so a rhino (I even have lots of stretch marks and saggy body parts to prove it.) I just charged with my words instead of a horn. I quickly started calling myself The Orange Rhino as a reminder to no longer yell, but instead to be calm like a rhino and warm like the color orange.
I proudly share that I am officially an Orange Rhino! I haven't charged with my words in over 400 days thanks to many things I learned this past year. Here are the top 10 things that I learned but trust me, there are many many more!
1. Yelling isn't the only thing I haven't done in over a year.
I also haven't gone to bed with a gut-wrenching pit in my stomach because I felt like the worst mum ever. I haven't bawled to my husband that I yelled again and again. And I haven't heard my sons scream, "You're the meanest, worstest, mommy in the whole world, I don't love you anymore!"
2. My kids are my most important audience.
When I had my "no more yelling epiphany," I realized that I don't yell in the presence of others because I want them to believe I am a loving and patient mom. The truth is, I already was that way… but rarely when I was alone, just always when I was in public with an audience to judge me. This is so backwards! I always have an audience — my four boys are always watching me and THEY are the audience that matters most; they are the ones I want to show just how loving, patient and "yell-free" I can be. I want my boys to judge me and proclaim, "My mummy is the bestest mummy ever!" I remember this whenever I am home and thinking I can't keep it together; obviously I can… I do it out and about all the time!