Four weeks after the birth of my first daughter, I returned to work performing in a television comedy show three days a week. At the time it seemed like a perfectly reasonable plan; in hindsight, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for.
After my baby was born I had three weeks at home with a gorgeous little girl whom I completely adored. She was so placid that I was convinced that if it was this straightforward at home, surely doing a couple of days a week at work wouldn’t complicate matters too much. Obviously I’d forgotten to factor in two very important bi-products of giving birth – breastfeeding and hormones.
My husband and I worked out a plan for the two days I’d be filming. He’d bring her to set (obviously these would be the exact times when my boobs would be ready to produce milk and she would be ready to eat) and I would feed her between filming scenes. Easy.
Well…not so much.
I cried when I left her in the morning. I cried all the way to work. I cried when my husband brought her to the set so I could feed her, and I cried when they left. Expressing milk behind the curtain in the wardrobe bus every three hours was a pain in the pelvis and, as a result of going 5 to 8 hours without emptying my boobs, was on the verge of contracting mastitis several times.
Feeding my baby surrounded by male comedians who thought it was hilarious to make jokes about “Fiona getting her boobs out again” was never a peaceful experience. Although, they quietened down once I threatened to squirt milk in their eyes and blind them for life. There was also the time when the first assistant director informed me that she could see my breast pads outlined through my top on the monitor, and that the camera crew had asked what they were.
Top Comments
you returned to work after 3 weeks because your career is more important than your baby!
people have fought for so long for paid/unpaid maternity leave and so many women who can be a great influence on society don't appear to support it or use it!
i'm looking at you tanya plibersek.
Technically I never stopped working, When my newborn slept for longer than two minutes, I was working from home, editing unpublished manuscripts.
When my son was seven months old I started back at work as a newspaper journalist three days week, which soon become four, then five days a week.
My son is nearly two now and, yes, there are days when I wish I didn't work so much. But this line in Fiona's article really resonated with me:
"I’m proud of myself for surviving it; we were able to pay the rent on time and I managed to get through those few months in a sleep-deprived hormonal daze, even if I can’t remember what the hell I did during that period."
The breast pump at work, the sore boobs, the long-hours, the search for a family day carer we felt comfortable with; I did it for my family. So we had food on the table, a roof over our heads and a quality of life. We didn't rely on government support. My husband's a mature-age apprentice and going back to work was the only way our family could stand on our own two feet.
I believe our son will look back when he's old enough and be thankful for having two hard-working, loving parents who did everything they could to give him the best start in life.