We have two words for you: Boob Glue.
It’s the latest trend sweeping Hollywood. It’s the solution to all your boob-related problems.
It will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Actually… it probably won’t. In fact, it definitely won’t.
But it’s hard not to want to know at least a little bit more information about this absurd sounding product.
This is its story.
Once upon a time, there was a Californian beautician named Dawn Jackson who was tired of experimenting with push-up bras, inserts, and even electrical tape (?!?!) to achieve her desired amount of cleavage. On her website, she writes: “I had a love/hate relationship with my breasts. I was exhausted and hopeless with products and their claims.”
So Dawn decided to do what no other boob-lover/hater had ever set out to do before. She set out to solve her “bosom woes” (her words, not ours) by creating her very own product.
And so Boob Glue was born.
Nicknamed “Boob Job in a Bottle – Your Girls’ Breast Friend” (get it? Breast Friend? Ha!), Boob Glue brings the magical properties of regular glue far beyond its regular art-and-craft capabilities.
It’s for all women – large breasts, small breasts, natural breasts, augmented breasts, even breast cancer survivors – it can be worn with mastectomy bras/breast prosthesis.
And it claims to solve ALL the breast imperfections that might have resulted from weightloss/weigh gain/breastfeeding/general sag/whatever else really. Apparently, Boob Glue will ensure no more sagging, jiggling, or bulging or “cup’th over flow’th” (again, her words, not ours).
“BUT TELL US HOW IT WORKS!” we hear you cry.
Ah, here’s the good part.
Put your bra on and lift your boobs OUT of the bra, one at a time, so that you have a firm grip on each one.
Now it’s time to act like a kindergartener that’s just discovered the bottles of Clag glue. Take your Boob Glue and apply it liberally to your boob, taking care to avoid the nipple. For MAXIMUM holding power – you can also line the inside of your bra with the glue.
Then all you have to do is “arrange your breasts into desired position in bra” and hold for 1 minute.
To remove the bra, you’re supposed to peel it off slowly, against gravity. You’ll be happy to know that like the best non-toxic glue sticks, Boob Glue removes easily with water and soap.
We are unsure as to how long it’s supposed to last, but we can imagine that you’d want to commit to a particular bra for the day before liberally applying any kind of glue. Nobody likes a sore boob.
Also, maybe skip out on it if you’re planning on getting any kind of action at any point. In our imaginations, we’re conjuring up all sorts of sticky (ha ha) situations involving a bra ripped off by a strong man in the throes of passion… Or a confused man tugging at a bra that he’s managed to unclip but it still won’t come off…
Would you try boob glue, or do you plan to stick to the more traditional push-up bra?
Note: This is not a sponsored post. We just really wanted to talk about boob glue.