BY MIA FREEDMAN
Take a close look at Bert and Patti Newton. What do you see? Your answer will depend on whether you’ve ever loved someone with a mental illness.
If you haven’t, you might see bad parents. Parents doing the wrong thing by their son. Parents too caught up in their own lives. Parents with misplaced priorities. Parents being selfish.
But you wouldn’t have a clue.
Of course, every mental illness and family is different. And yet for many of those whose families have been affected, there’s something familiar about Bert and Patti.
They recognise the fatigue and despair, the devastation and guilt, the loyalty and shame, the anguish and love, the exasperation and the stubborn hope that things can get better. That their son can be saved from himself.
Our society is incredibly tough on people who don’t appear to display the ‘right’ emotions in public. Remember Lindy Chamberlain? Joanne Lees, partner of English backpacker Peter Falconio who was murdered in the Northern Territory? After losing loved ones in horrific circumstances, they then had to endure the nasty innuendo. ‘She didn’t look THAT upset’ people said. ‘Where were the tears?’ ‘I reckon she was involved...’
Because we absolutely knew how we’d behave if it happened to us and it wasn’t what we saw on the news. Right?
Armchair criticism of public figures is a disingenuous game. I keep hearing people say “Why is Matt Newton in America? Why don’t his parents go and get him? What are they doing on TV instead of helping their son?”
Well, think about your own parents. If you decided to leave the country or stop taking medication or break the law could they do much about it? Assuming you are over the age of 18, it’s unlikely.
Top Comments
I have bi polar and I have never and will never hurt someone, raise my voice. I'm the most generous and kind person to others. I love my charity. I also work in a very senior role. Sure it's tough but people with mental illness are not violent. Oh until Matthew Newton who is a woman beater uses it to get of charges. How dare you all go on and on like you have any ideas. He doesn't have bi polar for god sake. That's why he never mentioned it since and his parents don't. He's an arrogant man who uses violence. Stop putting stigma on an illness.
Nobody except people close to them know what sort of parents they were but when it comes to mental illness upbringing has a massive impact. Stress during childhood has a huge impact on whether a person becomes mentally ill and the severity of that illness. People can become mentally ill in a stable and supportive environment but it is far more likely to occur if they grow up in an environment of neglect and/or abuse.