entertainment

Which of the following Richies is more famous to you?

This is a small exercise designed to estimate your age. Like ring-barking a tree. I loved Lionel in a way that I really cannot say that I love Nicole. Probably because I don’t love Nicole at all and I still like to tap my feet to Dancing On The Ceiling. And don’t even get me started on Hello. I shed many a pubescent tear to that ballad. Is It Me You’re Looking For? Is it, Lionel? IS IT?

Anyway, Lionel came out this week in support of his possibly-pregnant-possibly-not-pregnant-who-really-cares daughter Nicole. Nicole’s DUI trial is set for today after she was arrested last December for driving the wrong way up a freeway and confessing to the arresting officers that she was high on marijuana and pills. Papa Ritchie had this to say to Fox News: “she keeps apologizing to me. I told her ‘You’re doing exactly
what you’re supposed to be doing to your father at this age.”
That would be fine if Nicole was 18. She is 26. Are we really meant to be screwing up our lives at 26? I thought we were meant to get that out of the way much much earlier.