The Top 7 Things I Learnt From Celebrities this week
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Famous people are so wise. They have so much to teach us. But they’re so busy being wise that it’s often hard to keep track of all their worthy work. Who has the time or the money or the interest in reading gossip magazines and going to gossip websites and sorting the fascinating from the idiotic? Help is here!
In what may become a regular post if you like it, Acacia Stichter, celebrity tragic and blogger (you can also follow her on twitter here) has put together the top 7 things celebrities have taught us this week. Ready?
Acacia writes….
1. If you have something big to tell your family… do it on the cover of a magazine
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If you have a secret boyfriend (as well as an 18 month old child with him) and you want to get married but your parents disapprove, don’t despair… you can get around that by announcing your engagement on the cover of a weekly celeb magazine. That way your parents who to protect their reputation have no choice but to support you.
This is exactly what Bristol Palin (daughter of former American republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin) and Levi Johnston did this week. After calling off their engagement two weeks after their son Tripp was born in 2008 they couple reconnected 3 months ago while working out a custody plan. After publicly shunning him on Oprah and in various interviews Sarah Palin then came out with the following statement “Bristol at 19 is now a young adult. We obviously want what’s best for our children. Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives.”
2. You can buy a baby for $17 million dollars..
Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo who became a father as a result of a one night stand has reportedly paid the mother of his child $17 million to keep her identity a secret and hand the baby boy over Ronaldo to be his sole guardian. Then he handed the baby to his parents and went on holiday with his actual girlfriend.
Ronaldo, 25, was reported to have met the American waitress on a trip to LA last year (during the same trip he was photographed with Paris Hilton). DNA tests confirmed he was the father while he was in South Africa for the World Cup. The baby boy takes his fathers name Christiano Ronaldo.
3. You’re never to young to get Botox.
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If you are an 18 year old singing sensation (yes 18!!!) and you are about to appear on the hit show Glee, you must do what you can to look your best, right?.
Filipino singer Charice Pempemgco certainly thinks so, she underwent a 30-minute Themage skn-tightening procedure and Botox to make her “naturally round face” more narrow. A rep for Pempenhco however denies this saying that the procedure was done “to relieve a jaw problem”..
4. 88 isn’t to old to launch your own clothing line.
Golden Girl Betty white is so hot right no.! Not only does she have a hit new TV show, Hot in Cleveland (Monday nights 8:00pm on channel 9) she is also bringing out a new range of hoodies and t-shirts. The loveable White will donate part of the proceeds to her charity the Morris Animal Foundation.
5. It’s quite trendy to skip a the big fancy wedding and get married in secret.
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It seems that the good old days of the big expensive wedding (hello Katie Price and Khloe Kardashian) are over. Celebrities are now choosing to have a simple and secret wedding without all the fuss of magazine deals and paparazzi.
Miranda Kerr announced today that she and Orlando Bloom were married. No word on where or when they were wed (there are also rumours that Miranda is 3 months pregnant) but we know it was a small and intimate affair since no one knew of it till the Today show broke the story this morning.
Earlier in the month Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem announced that they were secretly married in the Bahamas in front of family and friends and Megan Fox wed Brian Austin Green on a beach inHawaii with his son the only guest. Editors of weekly magazines all over are crying themselves to sleep at night now.
6. 14 isn’t too young to model a string bikini if you are a Kardashian
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Kendall Jenner (Kourtney, Kim and Khloe’s half sister) has been modelling for a year or so now so naturally the next step was a sexy bikini shoot. The 14 year old reality star posed in a series of sexy shots on a beach in Malibu. Doting older sister Kim tweeted; ”I am so proud of Kendall. She’s going to take over the modelling world… you just watch!”
7. Hair extensions are not allowed in jail!
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We all know that Lindsay Lohan is serving time in an LA prison, but did you know that hair extensions are not allowed in jail. This is just inhumane. No starlet worth their weight in paparazzi flashes would be caught dead without extensions. Apparently everything on her person was confiscated including her extensions and will be returned to her upon her release.
BONUS FACT:
Lindsay is in the cell next to reality star Alexis Neiers (who coincidentally occupies the same cell that Paris Hilton was in in 2007). Neiers was convicted for her part in the celebrity bling ring robberies which including burglaries on Orlando Bloom and wait for it…Lindsay Lohan’s house.
Well phew. I feel so much better informed now. Is there anything else you’ve learned from (or about) a celebrity this week that you’d like to share? We’re all ears…..
You might also like:
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SUNDAY LIFE: Marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.
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7 lessons we learned from celebrities this week
Thumbs up from me Mia! I love it!
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of light relief here and there…
p.s. Bristol Palin! “Surprise, Mum!”. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
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oh, Alexis Neiers. i’m not going to lie, her show ‘Pretty Wild’ was a guilty pleasure of mine.
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Yes, please keep this post up – I love celebrity gossip! Besides, I’m having trouble keeping up with my subscription to WHO Weekly, so would love a summarised version!
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great post! reminds me to remember my sense of humour with theses celebrities and there fascinating fodder.
thanks
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Yes, make it a regular item. The author is witty, talented, clever, amusing, insighftful and a joy to read. Oh, and she is my daughter in whom I am well pleased.
Some things I learned from celebrities this week:
1. You can rewrite history if you are writing about your husband/previous lover and he is Bob Hawke.
2. People care more about Masterchef than the Federal election.
3. Don’t pick a bum to fight you and then complain that he was a bum (Danny Green)
4. Keep pissing people off and eventually they will respond (Jason Akermanis)
5. Blonde hair and a black beard make you look like a dickhead (Jason Akermanis)
6. People will tolerate things more when you are winning games than when you are at the end of your career (Jason Akermanis)
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Thanks Dad
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Hey Dad – I think you should have your own post too! Maybe a collaborative father/daughter effort.
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Here here. Would love to read that.
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Like father like daughter. I had a good old guffaw. So true! You should have your own post.Thanks Dad.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’ve been a great audience. In the words of the philosopher Mr Fenech, “I love youse all”.
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Thank you for keeping me up to date with this! Lol
Truly fascinating and hilarious and trashy all at once!
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Loved, loved it…would LOVE this weekly, please do Mia (in any case I now have another favourite blog to visit!!)
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Actually, most reports are saying that Ronaldo’s baby was not due to a one night stand, but a surrogate. And the baby in the picture is not his son, his is only a few weeks old.
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The Ronaldo story makes me really sad. While I don’t know the mother (obviously) it is not unlikley that she was bullied by a much richer and more powerful man to give up her child. While $17 million might be dazzling in your 20s, especially when working as a waitress, I worry about what happens in 10 years time when she is over the money and missed out on her kid growing up
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I KNOOOOW I’ll be in the minority – but I didn’t really like it.
Kinda feel like having a shower now.
Sorry.
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didn’t like what?
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The snark?
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I quite like the low-key, secret wedding trend. I’d adopt it myself if I didn’t have a love for amusing speeches.
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Ronaldo, errrrm I think we all know why he had to buy a baby.
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Loved this post, please keep it up Mia and Acacia!
Btw, just to be picky, didn’t love the typos. But that post was so awesome
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Mia we’re twins! I secretly also want to be a Kardashian. I think Kourtney, but I’d drop Scott in a second.
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Sash – I’d love to be your twin but actually that’s Acacia who wants to be a Kardashian – I just took it out of the post because with all due respect to you, Acacia and the K’s themselves, I do NOT want to be one and people keep thinking I wrote it…..
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I learned that Auntie Kylie is feeling clucky, this week. I didn’t mean just this week you understand, just that she’s feeling clucky. Ah, bless……
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“I should be so clucky,clucky clucky clucky….?”
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You’re not allowed hair extensions in jail?
I dont know why I think that’s mean but I do…
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Maybe it’s like ties and belts – they’re worried you’ll neck yourself with them!
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This page is fabulous!!
keep up the good work x
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I liked it!
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I’m not super keen on this idea to be honest…seems just a bit too sarcastic and NWish, but that’s just my opinion so please save your breath (or fingers!) before telling me I’m judgmental because I completely understand if others like it.
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What’s wrong with NW???
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Wow the world really is going to hell in a handbasket …
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Mia, could you please answer this. This a genuine query, not a snidy remark.
You seem to be very sarcastic and quite critical whenever you speak about a celebrity, yet half of your business is based on reporting about their every step (celebrity news) and hosting public debates on whether a particular celebrity is a good role model or bad one. You use them as examples in your articles, and some of them (Lindsay) serve as a continuous comic relief.
How do you reconcile the use of their images and details of their lives with the critisism of the celebrity phenomena?
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Because it’s entertainment & I think that Mia might sometimes be writing it from the point of the average woman/mother/wife/worker etc.
It’s enjoyable to read.
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So you mean her critism of celebrity phenomena and its use by media is not genuine, as she is the first one to advantage for it to make the site entertaining/profitable?
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didn’t Acacia write it? not Mia.
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Either way it’s posted on the blog that bears Mia’s name.
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Bored,
Like it or not, we live in an age of celebrity. I am never shy about my interest in popular culture and I think that in some ways, celebrities have replaced our neighbours in terms of entry points into discussing particular issues….
In most cases they are merely that – entry points into wider conversations.
Whether it’s the phenomenon of women being single in their 40s (Jennifer Anniston) or dating younger men (Demi & Ashton) or plastic surgery getting out of control (insert many names here) or….well, pretty much anything.
While I didn’t write this piece, I did commission it so yes, it was my idea. And humour and irony can sometimes come across as sarcasm….I’ve learned this lesson many many times but there’s no real way around it.
This website is about discussing all sorts of things in a thoughtful and respectful way – with a healthy dash of irreverance.
I’m not about snark a la Perez but it’s not sycophantic either.
We’re just….talking.
This post is something I’m trying because it appealed to me. Let’s see how it goes.
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But Mia, aren’t you famous as well?…….
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Well answered Mia. Loved this post, more please!
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Mia, thanks for Alicia’s post. It’s entertaining and funny and why can’t we just enjoy something that’s amusing? Life is serious enough and I think (stressing that it’s I who think this) something that makes some of us smile has to be a good thing! May not appeal to everyone, but what on earth does appeal to everyone?
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Congrats to Miranda and Orlando, good on them for just leacing to get hitched.
I also wish I was a Kardashian sister just so that i’ve have gorgeous hair similar to theirs!
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I have known Acacia for 10+ years and have had to listen to her celeb trivia on a daily basis – am glad the rest of Australia will now have to share my pain
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I too want to be a Kardasian….
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i loved this. please do weekly! am now wondering who/how lindsays extensions will be taken off.
and i heard she’s coming out in a week? is it sad i wonder what her hair will look like?
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That jail sounds like it is entirely populated by has-been Hollywood starlets…
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Can’t believe you want to be a Kardashian (secretly horrified)
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