My story: the little girl we never expected…
Do you like this story?
Dianne, mother of 3 wrote this post on her own blog a while back and has kindly allowed me to share a very beautiful story about her very special child with you. It moved me to tears. Dianne writes….
Bella
“You know, I just had a flash back to the moment in hospital when they told me that her having Down Syndrome was a possibility. And I just felt a tinge of sadness and a lump in my throat with that flashback .
But it was sad. It was sad because my partner had just walked back in – after almost floating back to Bondi the night before – to a room full of huddled doctors (a senior one and about 7 student doctors) and hit the floor with a thud when their whisperings started to get a bit coherent.
IT COULD NOT BE. NO! NO! NO! How could they make this up! Not his little girl. Not the one that was gonna kill all the fellas with her surfing skills, not the one that was going to turn the heads around Bondi for the next 18 yrs plus, not the one that would be doing this in between working out what more to do with the split atom for the 2027 Nobel prize win. Could they not see they were wrong??
What a strange time that was. Such a strange, strange time. I want to go back and give that mum and dad a great big hug and say “you have no idea just how okay you will be, you have no idea just how beautiful she will be just as she is, you have no idea that one day you will start to write a blog about her and your eyes will well with tears because, frankly, the light inside her makes you feel a beautiful, tender and caring love that you could not ever have expected”.
We had lost another little girl 10mths earlier. Our beautiful Liljana who was born too early, much as her fight would have had you question otherwise. We then, and still now, miss her. Our resources were down. First the dream of one girl, and then the dream of the next.
Bella with her books
We still had our baby girl. But the adjustment from what we thought she may be, and the realisation that what we thought no longer mattered, was a mighty adjustment to make in two days. It took longer of course. It took longer for my husband. He lost two dreams in less than a year. It was understandable that he shoved his head so far down that sand pit that it took me virtually jumping on his back and thrashing about to pull him out.
I had my pains too. I was angry with the universe. So so SO angry. How could it do this to me?? I wasn’t a bad person. I love diversity. But another load of adjustment and pain my way? Again? Why? Why? Why? Lots and lots of nights wondering why.
Soon enough (actually around the time my friend Sally popped over with a bottle of Baileys and left 3 hours later, ahem, Baileys free) my mind started to much more easily shift towards…”oh look, she needs a breastfeed, where is that nipple shield” to “oh, wouldn’t that top look great on her” to “I wonder if anyone has noticed just how divine her eyes are”. The mummy in me kicked in, And I am very very very proud to say, in a very big way.
But it wasn’t all butterflies and fairy floss. I became an internet addict. In the middle of our midnight, 2am and 4am breastfeeds I was googling every possible Down Syndrome scenario. At 3pm in the afternoon I was googling. At 4pm I was still on. At 9pm I was still on. More, more, more. What more info was there for me to know? I was addicted to knowledge.
It probably took me about 2 years to really start to kick back. A lot of mums will say they wish they could have just relaxed and enjoyed that time more. But I did enjoy Belles. I just wanted to be armed with every bit of ammunition I could to make her transition in to life outside my arms as positive, as capable, as strong as possible. I think in plenty of ways I’ve managed to do that. I think in plenty more ways she would have done it anyway.
Bella at the beach...I love you this much mum
It’s a little late to mention this, but this post is really for those many people that asked me many times, and for those that wanted to ask. What’s Bella really like? What’s it like having a little girl with Down Syndrome?
I could tell you plenty of things. I could tell you how really, it’s not much different to having another child (and I’m qualified to say this because I have another two – they can alternate between being the most divine little creatures on the planet to leaving you wondering what on earth you were thinking when you decided to procreate).
I could tell you if you are a new parent that she is toilet trained, walks and talks (those big early worries) and can give a head of hair (usually her brothers) a tug so hard you would be sure there is no ‘low tone’ there at all
.
I could tell you that I find it frustrating that it takes her a little longer to learn things. And that this is my biggest big fat cross against that extra 21st chromosome. That despite how strong her desire is, things will always take a little longer for her to learn. I could tell you, like most of us, she won’t learn everything. I could tell you that oft times when she does, it will be with a lot more effort and persistence than the rest of us could even muster. I could tell you that she has the most amazing green eyes and a smile that melts hearts.
I could tell you that her brothers adore the pants off of her (hair tugs and all). I could tell you that she is one hell of a clever cookie that knows exactly what she wants and doesn’t want. I could tell you that some days, like my other two, she wouldn’t have a clue what she wants. I could tell you that if anything, ANYTHING ever happened to her my heart would break in two and never ever be repaired again.
I could tell you that the way she greets people at the door makes her, quite possibly, the only reason anybody ever comes to visit (it’s certainly not for the cooking, I can tell ya).
But I won’t tell you all that. What I will tell you is what happened on the bus on Tuesday.
Bella's first day at school
It was 9am. I was on my way to a course she was coming to. The whole bloody bus was miserable. I’d forgotten how unjoyful people can be. Not me and Belles. She was my joy. That kid just did not stop smiling. And playing. And chatting. I did not stop smiling. She made me happy on that bus ride from the inside out. All these miserable people could do with a bit of Bella in their life.
But she’s a kid right. All kids are a bit of fun (when you’re not racing to work yourself – but that’s another blog). No. Bella’s extra. And I’ve known that for a while. But on Tuesday I remembered why.
On the bus ride home it was a MUCH happier bunch of Vegemites (3pm – non workers is my guess, bless their happy socks). They smiled at her. She giggled back. They giggled. Grown men giggled. Ladies stopped on their way out at their bus stops. They tickled her. They high 5′d her.
The bus ride was less than 20 minutes long. There was happiness all round and she was handing out little rays of sunshine in dosages well beyond her size and years. And then we got off the bus. And the bus driver said “goodbye gorgeous”. And she beamed. And she blew him the biggest most beautiful kiss. And then he beamed and his head nearly fell of his shoulders from having to hold a smile so wide. And he blew a kiss back. And then he nearly crashed the bus driving off; he was in such a happy la la land.
And me? Well I was so so proud of the beauty in front of me.
I haven’t thought about the 27th Jan, 2005 for a very long time.
Tuesday and the other Tuesdays in my life are the reason why.
Thank you Bella. Thank you for being more than I ever thought you would be. Thank you for being beautiful. I love you.
And a teeny little post script. Bella got up at 5am today. She took care of her dolly patiently for about 2 hours before the rest of us ventured up. But it was too early. She got tired and cranky and shovey and sooky and a bit of a pain. Coz, really, she is just like any other kid
And lucky for me, she’s all mine.”
I stumbled across this by chance. Thank you for sharing your story about your beautiful Bella. You melted my heart and there’s tears in my eyes. Thank god for diversity, and for little angels like the one you are nurturing
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What a gorgeous story. Thanks for sharing.
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I have just read this…. Again! Each time I read it, I cry and I laugh… And I am left smiling for a very long time xxx
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I haven’t posted on here before, but if this story touched anyone please visit this blog I ended up visiting daily because it is so beautiful.. Mia I think you will love it, the writers love for her kids and the world is inspiring!! Especially the birth story of her baby with the syndrome: http://www.kellehampton.com/2010_01_01_archive.html
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Such a beautiful story about a beautiful family
It reminded me of a family with 5 kids (the youngest with DS) who attended the school where my husband taught…the oldest 4 (1 girl, 3 boys) went on to become doctors like their father, but Patrick had dreams of working in a hospital like his siblings…he now works in the cafeteria of a major hospital and is excited and passionate about his job…and I’m sure brings sunshine to every customer he meets!
Such a gorgeous boy was allowed to blossom with his supportive and encouraging family, who saw no reason for him not to be able to follow his aspirations, just like his brothers and sister
Go Bella!
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She made me smile and I haven’t even met her
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What a lovely and loving daughter you and your husband have. Bella’s zest for life and her infectious humor sound like a recipe we could all use on the blah days!
Back in the 1980s (ok I know some of you weren’t born then LOL) I had the privilege of teaching a young lady with Downs Syndrome in my mainstream class.
These were the beginning years of babies who were born with DS & parents having access to intensive learning, both socially and intellectually at Macquarie Uni. This child’s parents covered all areas they could to ensure their child’s best possible life & attending the same school as her sister was a goal achieved.
It wasn’t without some challenges because there’d be days she’d ‘choose’ to climb on the equipment& not come down but mostly she was a self-contained, caring and well-liked classmate. She did well in maths but reading & writing were more challenging.
I can only speak of my experiences with her in her first 3 years at school but the gift she gave me was to be a teacher in her life who also learned from her along the way.
I wish Bella many happy and enjoyable years at school and beyond.
What a great family you’ve all made ..xx
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Thank you Dianne for writing this story and thank you Mia for sharing it. It really truly warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.
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This is beautiful, thank you for sharing. It sounds like you have a beautiful family.
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Your Bella is divine. More than I can say
And I think you’re a wonderfully loving Mum and a strong woman, right up there with other beloved doyennes of MM such as Danya, Denyse, LePetitChou etc etc. Some very amazing women on here.
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Oh yes. Welcome to my world.
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Tears in my eyes- that is such a beautiful blog. Your Bella is so aptly named. Two weeks ago we celebrated the 40th birthday of my beautiful down syndrome brother, Damien. He has been (and continues to be) a joyful, happy, frustrating, routine-obsessed, handsome, funny man. He is so in love with his own brothers and sisters. But I tell you this Diane, and you can tell your sons, the way he is with my 3 children is so beautiful and pure- it takes my breath away. He is the most doting uncle and my own children’s lives are enriched because of him. Thanks so much- am sending your blog to my mum now!
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You know, there are so many comments on this post that talk about tears welling up, but it’s my tears that well up with comments like yours and all the ones preceeding them.
I often wonder if my boys lovely natures are due in part to Belle’s. They’re certainly much much nicer than our passed on genes would account for
Your words are just beautiful. Thank you xx
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My god how breathtakingly beautiful. (Your words and your daughter)
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Gadzooks, girl, this is a stunning post. Bella is lucky to have such an eloquent mummy, who can encapsulate and share her daughter’s beauty with the world, especially for those for whom such beauty seems to come at a price.
I was one of those “geriatric’ mothers, trying to have a child in my 30s – I refused ‘that’ test every time they offered it, knowing in my heart that I wouldn’t change my mind if the result came back positive. All that mattered, I thought, was that my child was healthy, with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
Well, he’s healthy, yes – but only 5 toes.
He was born with a ‘congenital lower limb deficiency’, ie. no lower left leg & foot. When they put him on my belly after his birth, I looked at him and said “He’s perfect”. And he is – typical little full-on, funny, stubborn, articulate, 6 year old boy, with a prosthetic leg (or crutches, sometimes). Wouldn’t change a thing, right? xx
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He must be the coolest kid in school or at least he should be! Prosthetics are amazing. And your comment made me grin hard (I think it’s the way you describe him coupled with the fact that I think I have a soft spot for 6 yr old boys – they are soooo in that gorgeous, stubborn, funny, articulate, cute stage. Totally adorable) . Thank you xx
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He IS pretty cool, actually – what he ‘lacks’ in a few inches of leg, he makes up for in a few bucketloads of chutzpah. And he is adorable…except when he’s being bloody annoying! Kids, huh!
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Exactly!
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How often we forget the true joy in our lives! Too often we dwell on the negatives, but not today thanks to your wonderful story. God bless you and your beautiful girl!
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Thank you for sharing. Tears down my face. Gorgeous x
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What an absolutely beautiful post, Dianne. Your daughter is just delightful. Gorgeous. xx
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What a beautiful story you made me cry…and she’s just gorgeous XOXO
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Thankyou
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Those who have a problem with disabilities should read this beautiful and inspirational story about this gorgeous child. The story causes me to feel very sad for those whose heart it might fail to touch, as they have not learned to receive the gift of Grace that Bella so generously wants to share. Although Bella may not reach the heights of academia or be the glamour girl on the beach, her natural beauty and abilities reach far beyond the tangible and superficial. The divine gift of giving and sharing is borne from the soul. It can neither be bought nor traded, it creates change by reaching people’s inner core and allowing light to penetrate the soul. The world would be a far better place if there were more Bella’s. I see her as a future ambassador for goodwill. I would also like to clone her so I can claim her as my granddaughter. I’m sending my Love to Bella and her family and thank Diane for sharing her lovely story with mamamia followers. XX
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Ah well, Catherine. Look at it as a trial run for what you want to bring in and remove women’s reproductive rights.
You were rightly castigated for your insensitivity in posting what you did. Suck it up. Have a nice day.
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Well Kris I am interested in protecting children such as Bella’s right to have a life. Yes women have rights but what about the rights of unborn babies?Obviously, some people are not interested in anything other than the womans rights. It is not insensitive to point out what is happening in the world. It was factual information and a link to an article in the Herald Sun. Does everyone here stick their head in the sand and not watch the news or read the newspaper for fear of reading something perturbing or unpleasant?
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At the risk of being shouted down, I do see where you were coming from. Some people do abort much wanted babies because of DS. This post has just showed us that it doesn’t have to be as frightening as people think it is.
An absolutely beautiful story. Bella sounds like an absolute treasure. Thank you for sharing.
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Diane, what a lovely post. It really set the tone for my day, thank you. Your daughter sounds delightful. Lucky you
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How lucky you are to have the joy of such a beautiful little spirit in your lives : )
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Thank you that truly is beautiful, I read through the tears in my eyes. All our children are gorgeous in so many ways, and it is so nice to stop and appreciate all their wonderul traits.
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This makes my heart sing!! Love to you Bella, we all need a little ray of sunshine in our lives and it looks like you have an abundance! S xx
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Lovely, lovely story and gorgeous photos
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“And he blew a kiss back. And then he nearly crashed the bus driving off; he was in such a happy la la land.”
This gave me a great big belly laugh! My son also charms the birds from the trees (he flirts with “older” women at the supermarket) and this makes my heart swell with joy.
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Bella reminds me of my auntie who was Downs Syndrome too and the centre of joy in my family’s universe. We all can learn a lot about getting over our misery from the Bellas of the world.
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Beautiful story. A reminder to us all that Bella and her peers are people first, the Downs comes second.
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I have a bus story too,
every morning my bus passes a lady and her high school aged daughter waiting for the bus. This young girl is always dressed impeccably in her SCHOLS uniform, and like Bella, she has a smile that lights up the sad seedy pub her stop is outside. She is such a breath of fresh air compared to the other commuters, I often want to jump off the bus and tell both she and her mum that one day I hope my daughter takes as much pride in herself.
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As a worry wart preggo, this was just wonderful to read. I have known in my head for a while that Downs syndrome is nothing to be scared of, but this has confirmed it in my heart. What a blessing little Bella is! Just beautiful.
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she’s beautiful
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When I was pregnant with my first child and had a very big belly I was walking in the park with my sister and a women with down syndrome was walking past us. When she saw my belly her face lit up, she was so excited to see my big belly. She jumped up and down with glee. It was truly such a lovely sight to see this women so happy with what was growing in my belly. I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me, but she was genuinely so happy for me, I won’t ever forget it.
Thank you Diane for sharing your story.
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Early on, when I first had Bella, I was driving home and let a van pull out in front of me. It was only after they were pulling out that I noticed a young adult with Down Syndrome in the passenger side.
He leaned out, smiled a megawatt ‘lovin life’ smile and blew me a massive, beautiful, can’t-help-but-burst-in-to-a-smile-back, kiss.
I was smitten and I can’t tell you how good he made me feel. I often think of him when I see Bella have a similar effect on someone. And I just thought of him then with your lovely story.
Thanksyou xx
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Diane, your story is lovely, thank you for sharing.
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What an amazing story – it made me teary : )
Happy Friday, everyone!
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Dianne – Bella sounds like an absolute joy. I cared for a little boy with Downs many years ago as an assistant in a childcare centre. He was a wonderful affectionate, funny, clever, challenging, stubborn and defiant little man with passion and zest for life – a lot like my non-downs children now! He had other health complications, which can go hand in hand with Downs (and hopefully Bella has escaped these) which he took in his stride – a lesson we could all learn. I often think of him, and thank fate for landing me in that job when he arrived – he demystified Downs for me.
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What an amazing piece Dianne. Bella is just beautiful. I hope that one day I can have a daughter with as much joy and happiness in her as Bella.
xx
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So beautifully written. What a lovely, lovely story. And gorgeous photo. You are lucky to have Bella in your life. xx
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Oh so totally loving the responses on this post. Bella warming hearts online and offline http://bit.ly/cJGTGb
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RT @CateP36: Everyone should have a ray of sunshine in their lives like Bella http://bit.ly/cJGTGb A wonderful post by @MsDovic .Love it
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RT @CateP36: Everyone should have a ray of sunshine in their lives like Bella http://bit.ly/cJGTGb A wonderful post by @MsDovic .Love it
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Everyone should have a ray of sunshine in their lives like Bella http://bit.ly/cJGTGb A wonderful post by @MsDovic .Love it
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Dianne… I have met some incredible people with down syndrome. Most notably, more than 10 years ago, I used to work in a hospice, where two of the kitchenhands had down syndrome. I caught the bus with them every day. They were in love. They held hands, wiped the dribble off each other’s faces, and said “I love you, so much” frequently, staring into each others eyes. It was just beautiful. I caught the bus with them for a year before I quit my job. And 3 years later, I caught the same bus, to find them the same, still as much in love as they ever were.
Since then, I have always thought that I would accept a pregnancy where my baby was diagnosed with down syndrome. They have this amazing ability to see the bright side of things. And when I was pregnant and they did the test… I told them I didn’t want to know. I didn’t care. I would love that baby either way.
Thanks for sharing your story… Bella sounds like a beautiful child, and you a beautiful mother.
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and you a beautiful fellow bus traveller
Thank you for this gorgeous story xx
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Its really stuck with me all this time… they were just gorgeous to one another. I’m sure that with all the love you are giving her, your daughter will blossom into a beautiful woman. xx
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Excuse me for asking, is your child down syndrome? I am just curious.
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Hi Girly, are you asking if Bella has Down Syndrome? Yes she does but that was clear in the post right?
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Oh, sorry Dianne, I was just asking Mish if her child has Down Syndrome because she mentioned she didn’t care if she had a child with it or not. Sorry for the confusion!
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Oh of course
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No, she doesn’t. I’m going to correct my bad choice of words- its not that I don’t care- it would take some readjustment and I’d imagine its an incredibly challenging life for a family with a child who has down syndrome, but it wouldn’t change my desire to go ahead with the pregnancy. And I didn’t want to know because I didn’t want to be pressured into an abortion as I have heard happens.
A lot of children with down syndrome go on to be adults with jobs, live independently or with minimal assistance, and often have a simplistic, non materialistic outlook on life that I envy, and are incredibly loving. Like that beautiful couple on the bus. I watched them have an argument once, and their conflict resolution was better than most couples I know. I think we have a lot to learn from them.
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Thank-you for sharing.
That made me cry
xo
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What a delight! Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.
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Bless you what a beautiful story
Lots of love and happiness to you
xxxx
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Dianne, hats off to you and your positive attitude. One wonderful little girl being taken care of by a wonderful mum !!
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Thank you Dianne – so so much
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I loved reading this, what a gorgeous little girl Bella is!
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What Dianne writes, comes straight from the heart. She has a special gift – her writing. She is a remarkable mum. She can express many things others would find difficult to convey on paper. I loved this piece she wrote. I cried so much. I look forward to reading everything she puts down on paper – or in this day and age on her blog. Can’t wait for her to write her first book. Love you Di. xxx
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What a wonderful read that was.
I can relate to a little part of it – My daughter was born with a severe heart condition that, despite three ultrasounds while pregnant, the best obstetric care and educated parents, NO ONE picked up on. So it was with joy we delivered a little princess (and sister for her 2yo brother) only to find that she wasn’t interested in the breast, she was a little blue in colour and was very very sleepy. Apart from that, just gorgeous.
We got the news on day 4 when the paediatrician visited and on this day she happened to be sleeping. On the first two days she had been crying and the Dr couldn’t hear her heart properly.
We were told she probably had a heart murmur but not to worry as 1 in 5 kids are born with heart defects it’s just that 95% of them will never need anything done about it. But nevertheless, she sent us for an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart).
I remember the very kind paediatric cardiologist drawing a diagram of her heart and trying to explain all the problems there were with it.
We went back to our room in la-la land, alternating between sobbing and staring at the wall. Nurse after nurse poured in to offer support, a glass of wine (yes please!), hugs, tissues etc. Surprisingly the one nurse who was absent was the one who said “oh bugger her, she’ll eat when she’s hungry” when I attempted for the umpteenth time to breastfeed her. Heart babies have next to no energy so it was no surprise she didn’t want to eat!
Anyway, during one night in special care nursery a brilliant midwife said during one of my meltdowns, “it’s OK, at the moment you are overwhelmed and anxious and feeling every emotion possible. But……your inner lioness is about to make an appearance and when it does, you’ll fight for this little girl harder than you’ve ever fought before”.
And sure enough, a few days later, the lioness appeared. I took charge, read everything, spoke to the doctors without crying, informed all our friends and family and felt somewhat in control.
A few months later surgery was booked in and off we went. That was the most difficult 9 days of my life but with every adversity there is a blessing. It’s called perspective. We got to take her home. Some babies had never seen the outside of a hospital months after being born. Some kids would never be fixed. After the friendships we made in ICU and the stories we heard, we felt so guilty that we got to take her home.
You never know what you’re going to get in life but I honestly believe you only get sent what you can handle.
There’s a reason Bella was given to this family – the same reason our daughter was given to us. We’ll never know the answer but as long as we do our best that is enough.
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Thank you Jenna for sharing your story. I absolutely love what that brilliant midwife said. It should be 101 of midwifery to know that there is a good deal of lioness in our genetic make up
I very much remember the NICU with Liljana. It is real world stuff that is impossibe to explain. I think everyone should be aware of how much. Just one day in an Intensive Care Unit puts so much in to perspective. We had two months.
So glad you got to take your little girl home.
Much love xx
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Gorgeous post. xx
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Beautiful post. Thank you.
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I loved this post, it was so beautiful to read, it bought tears to my eyes as like Di, I have an autistic son, it was a huge shock, adjustment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, he is the most loving and adorable child ever.
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They surprise us, don’t they xx
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I was feeling really grumpy this afternoon, til I read this and the clouds lifted. Thankyou, Dianne and Bella, for turning my day around!
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Thanks Bowerbird, she has very much a habit of doing that xx
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That was a beautiful post. I, too, was crying.
I’ve met Bella and she’s all the things Di spoke about…
Di, you’re a lucky Mummy.
N x
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Beautiful! I can not stop smiling when I think of that bus ride! Love and happiness is contagious.
You have a gorgeous girl and I think you are pretty amazing as well.
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It is incredibly contagious
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what a beautiful piece of writing!
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Give me a roomful of happy enthusiastic kids in the Learning Centre with Down Syndrome who have overcome every obstacle in their challenging lives than a classroom of disengaged couldn’t care less teens anyday!! Makes teaching one of the most rewarding things you can ever do.
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That is a truly beautiful story about an absolutely beautiful little girl!
Pity you can’t bottle those little bits of “sunshine” up for the rest of us when we need it
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What a beautiful post – it made me smile
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Best post EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
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Out of curiosity: does Downs come with varying degrees of severity, or is the level to which it affects childrens’ learning ability around the same?
I love this story, particularly the part about how the mother instinct kicked in: it’s a simultaneously optimistic and realistic take on things.
I’ve always felt very strongly that if I had an intellectually disabled child, I simply wouldn’t cope and can’t imagine myself doing anything other than giving it up to someone who could care for it and understand it in a way I don’t have the capacity to. For a while I was a buddy for a very severely intellectually disabled teen, and I felt like such an awful person, the worst person in the world, for not being able to connect with her as much as I should have, and for becoming (internally) furious at her all the time. My flatmate did the job the next term, and she was amazing at it, so I guess that just confirmed for me the choice I’d make if I was ever faced with that situation.
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I guess its one of those things that you don’t know how you’ll cope until you’re in the situation. Good to have some experience though!
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Hi JoM, thanks for commenting
With Down Syndrome there will always be an extra 21st chromosone and there will always be a delay. How this presents itself will vary from individual to individual. At the end of the day, tho, they will either have DS or not. Like everyone else, however, they will vary in their skills and abilities, health and interests.
Eg Bella is particularly good at the cuteness factor
I don’t want to paint it as all butterflies and fairyfloss either, as it isn’t ofcourse. That’s parenting full stop. There are many different stories and I only offer up my story with Bella, but in the main I think it’s nice for people to know that it really isn’t as scary as people think it is. Hard in some circumstannces, yes, but there can also be much beauty in the experience. For example, one-to-one time with Bella can be truly magical. And her brothers are also absolutely beautifully natured, which I think has something to do with her.
I wouldn’t beat yourself up at all over how you felt. It would be impossible to connect with everyone and there is nothing to say you should connect with someone just because they have a disability.
But I do think, as a rule, parenting is rarely as we think it will be, disability or otherwise.
x
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ask me if I loved that story?!?!?!
W O N D E R F U L.
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Dianne, I feel totally blessed to be able to say that I’ve met Bella and can attest to her beauty, those rays of sunshine she exudes (even if I was a bit distracted by my own children and bad wait service)!!
Thanks, Mia, for sharing this story here…I’d not seen it before and, like Kylie L, am so glad I got the chance to read it now.
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Just reading that brightened my whole day. Thank you.
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Goosebumps. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Amazing. Thank you for sharing. Really puts life into perspective.
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As a teacher of ten years experience working with children with Special Needs this really touched my heart. I think it underlines again that children with disabilities are just as gorgeous, frustrating, divine and devilish as all other children. As a teacher, I always see the child first and everything else second. And the fun, oh the fun of my job. Lots of laughs, lots of tears but a terrific ride!
Beautiful post- can feel the love!
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Thanks JackyJax, you sound like one rocking teacher!. And you are spot on, they can be gorgeous, frustrating, divine and devilish…all of the above…and thankfully, lots of fun
Thank you for commenting xx
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Some people truly are inspiring. It’s amazing how kids are normally the ones to teach us this. I learned this fact when I volunteered at the Sydney Children’s Hospital before I had my own kids……every Saturday when I’d leave my shift and head towards McDonalds drive thru for my McFlurry, I would reflect on how PHENOMENALLY smart, creative, generous of spirit and POSITIVE each one of those kids was. Far out.
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Far out indeed. Little bundles of amazing they are. xx
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One of my most favourite stories, ever. I am lucky enough to know the joy an extra copy of the 21st chromosome can bring, too
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This is also a beautiful blog I read.
http://www.kellehampton.com/
xx
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This is a beautiful post! A friend of mine recently had a baby and he has Downs. I loved the insight you gave into the life she’s now living. It helps me understand where she’s coming from (& makes it less likely I’ll say the absolutely wrong thing!) thanks again for sharing some of Bella’s story. Xx
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Take her a bottle of Baileys! It worked for me
. Kidding. The best thing a friend can do is just be normal. Because it is normal. It is like waking up from a dream that didn’t quite go how you planned, but you’ve no choice but to wake up anyway. And it’s dream many of us have to wake up from for days, weeks, months at a time. And for many others it just clicks in to place straight away.
The best thing anyone said to me as I was moping around (because there were indeed those days early on) was ‘Di, she is just another baby, your baby. And all that really matters today, and all she’s really caring about at the moment, is some boob, so hop to it’.
Everyone responds differently ofcourse to different things and if in doubt, say nothing. Listening is by far the most beautiful thing anyone can do and there is not much you can do wrong with just listening.
The rest of it is just all the new normal.
x
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Beautiful story about love and acceptance. As a mother of a special little boy of my own, with autism, I know it all – disbelief, grief, resentment, the works – until one day you realise that’s not going to achieve anything and you just get on with enjoying your life. One thing I discovered about special kids such as ours is that there is never any worry about loving them less than other kids because of their (perceived) imperfections, but you do have to try your best not to love them more! Wishing Bella a wonderful life.
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Just gorgeous x
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she’s gorgeous!
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I remember when I was at high school I worked at a supermarket as a checkout operator – it was a boring job to say the least. I remember one night feeling particuarly low & a family came in with their youngest daughter who happened to have Down Syndrome. Well it was like the sun shone out of her! I have never seen a more happy little child and the effect on her family was palpable. She absolutely made my night and twenty years later I still remember her and smile every time I do.
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Oh my. Dianne, I just cannot stop crying. That was so beautiful. What a gorgeous daughter you have. What a brilliant mummy you are. Reading this has given me a much needed kick up the bum with a rainbow on an otherwise miserable day. Bless you and Bella xoxo
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The first time I read Dianne’s blog post about Bella I cried. The second time I read it I also cried. She is gorgeous and I just love the gorgeous smiles Down’s Syndrome children have. It is always wide, contagious and full of love & happiness. We need more smiles like that in our world. xxxx
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I needed that. Beautiful. thank you.
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You Dianne, are a star, and so is Bella………….
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Dianne, we chat quite a lot on twitter and I would call you a good friend… but I had no. idea. about Bella, or about Liljana. I’m so sorry that I didn’t know. I’m not much of a friend, clearly.
…. But after reading that I’m not sorry for you. Bella sounds divine, and looks it too. She’s clearly a much traesured part of your family- of course she is- and you are clearly a fabulous mother to her.
I’m so glad I got to see this piece. Well done Mia on being far more on the ball than me!
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Absolutely gorgeous, tears streaming down my smiling face. Thank you. xx
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Dianne, you are a gorgeous mum, and Bella is magnificent. It is through reading stories like yours and meeting some young people with Downs Syndrome that I began to see it as something other than the worst case scenario I had previously imagined. (I’m obviously not taking away from the process you went through of ‘reconfiguring’ your dreams for your child).
You story is pure love and hope to me. Thankyou xx
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I think once you have met someone with Down’s Syndrome it changes your perspective. A friend of my mum’s had a baby girl with DS back in the early 80′s, so it was never as scary for me as other people. When she was young her mum had an aneurysm and lost a lot of her ability to speak. Her daughter became her voice. She’s now grown up, works and lives in a group home. I haven’t seen her for years but she was one of the loveliest little girls I have ever met.
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Yeah, I agree, Flotsam. My besty at school’s Mum did Family Day Care, and she had a girl with Downs there for years. I think she had other kids with disabilities from time to time too – it was great for us as well because it was just another type of kid to us, no great dramas.
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I just love this story. Thank you xx
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Hey, that’s me
. Didn’t realise that my twitter posts get picked up as comments or I would have said thankyou Mia, very very muchly for picking up the cuteness that is Isabella. And thankyou everyone for the comments. She has notched up her ability to put a smile on my dial to yet another level. And that, ofcourse, is all through you 
PS I’m totally open to questions. I know Mia has a wide audience and I know that may mean wide ranging feelings and questions.
PSS Though there is no denying she’s a spunk rat right
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What a beautiful story, Dianne. And she just beams gorgeousness and sunshine.
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“not the one that was going to turn the heads around Bondi for the next 18 yrs plus” <— she'll be turning heads, and hearts for many years to come! divine! x
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So true Emz. Just the other day a fella (mighty good looking I might add
) ran out of a pub on the street to tell me how beautiful Bella was
I’m pretty sure my boys are cute too but no-one comes running out of pub to tell me that
.
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What a lucky girl is Bella to have a mum like you
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what a special heart-warming story. thankyou for sharing.
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Aw, beautiful!
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*sniff*
Beautiful, just beautiful. ♥
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just gorgeous. Im all teary now, but mostly in a heart warming “isn’t she beautiful” way.
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Beautiful, gorgeous, amazing and inspirational!
Gosh you made me cry! Happy tears though.
Thanks for sharing your story.
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You are both gorgeous. Utterly. And this has made me cry, again. xx
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Gorgeous post. My husband and I had that same experience of sonographers and doctors discussing our ultrasound results and the possibility that something was wrong with our child. We were counselled about what the results meant, told about CVS and Amniocentesis and the while experience was quite overwhelming.
In the end we opted for no further tests, we just decided that it wouldn’t matter. Internet posts like these made us feel comfortable with that decision.
In the end we had a healthy little boy who shows no indication of any chromosomal abnormalities, but I still feel so thankful to all those parents who have shared their stories so openly and honestly.
And Bella truly is beautiful.
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She is absolutely perfect. Thank you so, so much for sharing her story and I think you are all kinds of awesome. I did anyway. But the bus story made me cry, in a really wonderful way.
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Pure, unadulterated beauty!!!
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What a divine story about a beautiful girl. She fills my heart with joy by just reading about her.
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Thes best, most heart warming, positive, loving story I have read in a long time.
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This story is divine. No matter how many times I read it, it still fills my heart with joy. Bella you are one very beautiful little lady and you Dianne are fabulous.
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