Ask Mia Anything + What are you feeling torn about?
In which I answer questions about how much money you can make as a writer, how much time I spend blogging and why I swear and wear hats….Also, I ask YOU a question…..and I’d really like an answer. Get to it.
You might also like:
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Fashion and the GFC – is your wardrobe feeling guilty?
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Ho Ho HELP – how do you avoid crap Christmas presents?
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In case you’re interested…….
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Ask Mia + What’s your #1 goal this year?
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What were your BEST & WORST bits of the week?
I’m feeling torn about where I want my future to go this week. Gosh it’s a big one. I want to be a doctor – but decided I wasn’t smart enough. I’m doing nursing and I imagine that I’d be happy doing that – but I want to do med. to prove that I can. I’m so competitive and ambitious and I worry that I’m never going to settle down and have a ‘real job’ – that I’m always going to be a dirt-poor student, especially if I do nursing and then go on to do post-grad med. So may decisions.
mia I so think you should write a book about what has happened since writing your last book to starting your blog etc.
So love your posts like going to DJ’s fashion show, so get out more often and give us the goss.
I so have a ‘ potty mouth” too swear on Mia!
WElcome S…don’t be nervous. Most of us don’t bite.
Totally torn about going back to work. two days? three days? am losing my mind being at home everyday but feeling totally stressed about suddenly disappearing from daughter’s life 2-3 days a week.
To get a big mortgage and buy house with backyard or stay living in perfectly good apartment?
To have second baby sooner rather than later??
Questions for Mia: will you ever take a solid block of time away from this blog? have other bloggers proven that you lose your followers if you take a chunk of time off? how do you stay fresh and engaged without decent amount of downtime?
ever thought of doing a mini questionnaire/survey to find out exactly what the demographic of this site is?
thanks!
Hi Mia,
Well, I’ve been addicted to your Sunday Life Mag column for ages now, it always gets my Sundays off to a rollicking start with a great chuckle! I’ve literally just finished reading your book; it was incredibly moving and so relevant for women of all different ages, it certainly got me thinking about a few things.
I have just started writing and have a piece that I’m keen to get out for the general public and other girls like me to read. My girlfriends have all read it and have had a good giggle, but I’m curious – would you recommend approaching mainstream media and asking them to take a look, or would you recommend blogging? How does a 24 year old amateur like me get her writing out there?
Looking forward to some advice – and to answer the question – I’m torn between moving to London to live and work as planned, or hanging around to see what may or may not develop with someone I’ve recently got back in touch with – he ticks all the boxes, is totally unexpected and has got a romance and relationship cynic like me eating my words. Tricky…!
Many thanks, and awesome website!!!
Anita.
Thanks so much kateinlondon and suze – I can’t begin to tell you how your posts have encouraged and lifted the spirit! I really am so thankful
x
This sounds really interesting and worthwhile Monica!
If I lived locally to you I would definitely participate – I’m in Brisbane though.
Best of luck xx
Another question I have is: Does your family sit down together for dinner each night?
It was a recent topic on Momversation and I found it really fascinating… Growing up, it was really important to my parents that we sat down together each night at the dining table and ate and talked together. I’m really thankful that we did, because it gave us all the opportunity to talk about whatever was going on in the world, with each other – just anything really. We’re already a really close family, but I think it definitely made us closer and it’s definitely something which I value.
My tip is speak slowly. Even if you think you’re speaking at a good pace, you’re more than likelly going a little too fast. Each time you take a breath remind yourself to s-p-e-a-k-s-l-o-w and you’ll sound great
In your years with your husband have you learnt how to speak ‘male’ and has he learnt how to speak ‘female’?
Hmmm, I’m torn about working to earn money to get ahead versus not working to start having kids. Obviously if I were to get pregnant I’d continue to work up until as close to the birth as possible but I feel like we’re never going to be financially ready enough to take the leap. Having hubby just start a new job that’s entirely commission based is a large part of why I’m torn, I’m the stable money earner at the moment and I’m scared of what would happen if that were to change….
Thanks for the video Mia, as ever, feels like I’m listening to a friend
As I’m aware that body image is a cause and concern close to Mia’s heart I wanted to see if she would be interested in suggesting/advertising/participating in
my Masters thesis on the topic of body dysmorphic disorder symptomology in the general population. A study such as this has not yet been undertaken and I feel that it is a very important subject area well worth exploring. We all have our body dislikes however, how many of these dislikes border on pathological and are detrimental to our mental health and general well being?
Body dysmorphia has a well documented history in clinical populations however; psychologists are yet to establish how many women in the general population have warped perceptions of their bodies and how this effects them. The study will be overseen by Dr. Rocco Crino (coordinator of the anxiety disorders unit at St. Vincents hospital), myself and another psychologist. We basically just need assistance recruiting women and men that are interested in participating and thought that this blog would be a great way of getting the word out.
Please let me know if you would like any more information,
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated,
- Monica
I got married at a registry office with my two year old son taking part in the ceremony and pregnant with my second son. It was such a wonderful day and I am so glad that my children could be part of it all. The registry office was fantastic too, as it had a limit to how many people you can invite (50) which made it really intimate and it was so much cheaper than having it at a function centre. The celebrant was lovely too, and very professional. My phobia of weddings disapeared on that day!
Thanks cleo, Mrs M and kateinlondon ….
love the videos Mia!
Oh my gosh, this just confirms my thoughts of one day wanting to get married, but NOT having a wedding!
Hi Mia. The hat is ok. A lot of girls would love to be invited to the fashion shows like you are, at least to experience the event once. I’m torn about postponing employment to study instead.
Hol, I do agree that teens in that situation are ripping off the government. Still, I think those teens will have more obstacles and less opportunities. You are different. You are getting qualified and independent. I wouldn’t do what you’re doing but you’re not like the 16 year olds. It’s fine if somebody disagrees with me here. I know a 16 year old who didn’t take it seriously. It’s a shock. I try to be peaceful anyway. Sorry if this is a bit vague.
What I’m torn about is the usual paid work vs time with daughter vs blog/hobby time. It’s been going on so long, it bores me! I don’t think there’s really an answer to it – and probably even thinking about it makes sure there’s something akin to a balance. My question is was your published book the first book you actually wrote – or was there a few false starts that are loitering around never to see the light of day?
Thanks all so much for all your amazing ideas. I think we have decided on a city restuarant with 50 (down from 80) of our imidiate family (mostly his). There’s another thing to be torn about his and her guest list
it never ends!! Thanks again for all the suggestions. Sworn to stay married for ever… not doing this again.. nothing romantic about a wedding day.. Happy valentines day everyone 
Sometimes the most important part of a friendship is knowing when it’s no longer right, or healthy for you. If you don’t feel ready to go as far as report it, keeping yourself safe – and sane, is the next best option. Good luck, it’s a tough time.
My boss did that for his little boy’s naming ceremony, just in their backyard and it was lovely!
What I am feeling torn about: choosing schools for my kid – he’s a very bright 9 year old who is happy, outgoing and relaxed. Should we send him to the lovely school around the corner which has an okay reputation (more convenient for us as a family) or to a school in the city – known for academic excellence (he has been offered a highly sought after place). He would enjoy both. People are telling me go the best you can afford – don’t compromise his future. Thankfully the fees are not an issue. Does the ‘old school tie’ still matter?
What I am feeling torn about: choosing schools for my kid – he’s a very bright 9 year old who is happy, outgoing and relaxed. Should we send him to the lovely school around the corner which has an okay academic reputation (more convenient for us as a family) or to a school in the city – known for academic excellence (he has been offered a highly sought after place). He would enjoy both. Does the ‘old school tie’ still matter? Thankfully the fees are not an issue.
Mia, the vidieos are so great just the way they are,don’t film them any other way- its like meeting a friend for coffee at your favourite cafe!!
So torn I could be Natalie Umbruglia. Without the long limbs and pixie hairdo.
Torn between which country to live in/which job my husband should take/which house we should live in? When I should go back to work/should I go back to work? What is our blog doing/what should our blog be doing? How much money is enough/not enough? How much are my children missing out on living so far from grandparents/how much are they gaining living around the world? Am I a better mother because son in nursery/am I a bad mother because not working and son doesn’t need to be in nursery? Does the baby get enough attention/does the son get enough attention/does marriage get enough attention? Do we desparately need a holiday/can we afford another holiday? And finally – if a chocolate block is thinner than cadbury, and is in a posh packet, does it count as health food and thus part of Project Beach diet?
BEST of luck.
weddings with grace – I am so off to buy that book online.
Karen – only you know what you really should do, but it sounds like you have a serious need for some deep soul searching. Relationships are about sacrifices, but they are also about compromises from both sides. does this mean he never wants to go home ever? Are you happy to live with that? And are you happy having children with someone who you don’t trust? Moving countries is one thing, but that situation can always be changed – having children is a no going back kind of thing!!
Wishing you lots of luck with your tough decisions. x
Hi Mia, I really loved that video blog you did on your favourite makeup and beauty products. I ended up buying the Olay self-tanner (for the face) and it’s great. Also I loved the article you did for Shop till you drop about your latest fashion buys. So I suppose it would be nice to see more of your beauty & fashion tips – say some fashion or beauty item that you are loving at the time (obviously when you have time – I know you are probably very busy with the blog & family – no rush). I just really like your sense of fashion style & beauty – I find it really suits my lifestyle.
Thanks for the link. Will check it out.
I hope you soon work it all out and feel so very happy. I absolutely admire anybody who does a big move (whether it is geographically big or emotionally big), I can never move from my mum and sister (and now including in that my mum inlaw and sister in law), I deliberatley avoided a huge move in my last relationship and although I don’t regret it now I did at the time, which was 5 years ago. good luck to you CatinDXB. I’m sure the love and strength between you and your wonderful man will sort out.
my question….. fave recipe?
I am torn about family politics and what I think is right for me, my beautiful husband and our precious 8 month old
can i intrude and give my commetns???? both of my weddings were traditional and expensive and completely for the guests, even down to choosing who my bridal party was. if i had my time again, celebrating the marriage would have been done EXACTLY WHAT ME AND HE WANT!! Marriage is for each other…weddings are for everybody else!!
also can I add my tip????? be well researched/informed. when you are confident in your topic you will speak confidently. good luck and let us all know how it goes
Couldn’t go past the heartache I can ‘hear’ in your post. I am sorry you are hurting and hope that somehow you are able to fulfil your dream. I think it is the hardest lesson as an adult – coming to terms that life doesn’t always go to plan.
Hi Mia,
Quick question…Just wondering where you find your pictures that go with each post? I find them very fresh & querky.
I’m feeling torn about whether to leave my current boring job with terrible boss or to stick it out knowing hubby and I are trying for a baby & that I may forgo 14 weeks paid mat leave if I do leave. *sigh*
Ok, my name isn’t Mia-so forgive me for intruding
From my experience, if you pretend that you’re feeling confident you will either a) actually become more confident and hence make a better speech) or b) at least look like you are self assured.
During the talk, try to give a small smile while speaking (maybe that needs a little bit of practise before) and it tends to make you feel better and give your audience a positive vibe.
Good luck and try to practise a little before you get up!
As said above this is sexual assault – nothing less. You need to seriously consider reporting this to the police and contacting a rape crisis centre. Just because they were friends, supposedly, you are obviously feeling very confused. It makes no difference whatsoever that they had been drinking either. If strangers did this to you, you would certainly have rung the police to report rape and sexual assault. Please don’t let their “friendship” manipulate you. They are counting on that. Be strong and take a stand. What they did was wrong and disgusting.
I have a question for you, Mia.
I’ve been asked to do a 5 minute talk at church during Lent (late March). I used to do a bit of public speaking in high school, so it’s not a foreign concept to me. But that *was* over 20 years ago, and now I’m starting to feel a little anxious about getting up in front of, potentially, hundreds of people! (3 times too – same talk at 3 masses).
What are your tips for finding a way to relax prior to a public speaking event? And during?!
You sound like a nice person with a good heart, please put yourself first, don’t have any contact with them, their actions were not that of friends.
Hi guys,
I’m feeling torn about when (and if) I should put my 20 month old daughter into daycare once a week whe she turns 2. I’m expecting our 2nd baby in 2 weeks, so don’t want to do it straight away, for fear she’ll feel rejected. There’s no answer, I know, it’s up to the child etc etc but I’m fortunate enough to not have to work, so I don’t HAVE to place her into childcare. Do toddlers benefit from daycare or is it better for them to be at home with mum? Hmmm. I don’t know. We go to playgroup, and we’re not socially isolated, and she’s a happy kid, so what’s the point of daycare when it isn’t a necessity? I have hired a nanny for when the bub’s born to help me out in the mornings (mum isn’t in Syd), so is that enough? Anyhoo, that’s what I’m currently feeling torn about.
It’s just so strange…I’ve known both of them for soooo long & they are (were?) also good friends of my fiance…so good he is to be the groomsman. I have cut them off quite a bit but now this has happened and I think about the 10+ years of good friendship & how many times they were there for me & they had been drinking…I know, I know. No excuse for this.
Hi Mia, totally loving your nail polish in this clip! Could we please please please have the brand and colour?
Great Video!
I’m pretty happy with everything at the moment, although i always feel torn about living here in Orange, NSW with my wonderful fiance and leaving my friends and family behind in Goulburn. I have lived away from home in Canberra for about 3 and a 1/2 years now (canberra is an hour from goulburn while orange is 3 hours away.) I haven’t really made many friends here in Orange as i work in a retail store by myself.. i go to the gym but find it hard to strike up conversation without people thinking i am a weirdo. Have you any suggestions on how to get out there and make new friends?
Hi Mia,
So Ive taken up blogging, I adore it!
One of my more recent blogs was about young parents & how there is such negativity surrounding this subject.
My FH & I became parents when we were 20 & 22 years old respectively. We had just signed the paperwork for our first home, so financially everything was in fantastic shape for us. We could afford for me to take 12 months of unpaid maternity leave, so there was no doubt we were financially & mentally prepared to start a family.
We did and still do carry the tag of “young parents” even though now we are 23 & 25 years of age. I am a SAHM, I work a casual job & I have recently accepted a spot at University by distance in the hopes of one day becoming a Midwife. We don’t receive any financial assistance from the government because my partner works ridiculously long hours & takes home a substantial wage each week, which we have no problems with, but what I do get upset with is that we carry the label of young parents & it is such a negative title at times.
My partner works so hard for what we have, we have paid our way in life so far & will continue to do so, but there are teenagers/young adults now having babies because there is an expectation that they will receive money to do so.
I don’t want to be associated with those type of people. Getting money from the government never even factored into our decision to have a baby, so why do we get stereotyped and thrown in the mix of those who do get a free ride from the government because they were too juvinile to make an adult decision about their future?
There are days I sit back and wonder why older generations often talk negatively about the growing trend of young parents.
Then it hit me one day that these days, when teenagers become parents, more often than not they receive numerous payments from the government to raise their children, where years ago, these sort of payments never existed.
People that had children you had no incentive, where these days as soon as you give birth to a baby you are automatically entitled to 2 or 3 different types of payments, but only if you fall below that yellow line.
Im a huge believer in that if you cannot afford to have children, don’t plan on having them until you can.
Had my partner and I not been in the financial situation to support a small family, there is no way in hell we would then expect tax payers to pay our way.
Am I naive in saying this? Am I being to harsh & judgemental? I understand that there are people out there who genuinely need these payments to survive, but there are also people who get a free ride & who give younger parents who are capable of making adult decisions a bad name.
I hate this label & I wish people wouldn’t judge younger parents as a whole, but as individuals.
What are your thoughts on this subject?
Thanks for answering my question Mia – so stoked that Zoe Foster will be doing a post about her new book! It’s on my wish list
Another question I have is: Are you a procrastinator? I could procrastinate for Australia – I’m so good at it
Was just thinking it would be very difficult to be a procrastinator when working from home… For this reason, I could never work from home, haha.
Thats very similar to how I married too…and have never regretted it…
What do you want on your headstone – devoted employee or adored mother?
If you are Christian how about a family binding day? If you are going to have your gorgeous little cherub christened, then get married on the same day, so you are all binding your family together in the eyes of God.
I think you could surprise people with this, if you wanted, and then just have the usual post-Christening afternoon tea and cake. Have your best friends as godparents and bridal party.
The best support you can give your friend is to wipe him from your life & send a loud & clear message that this behaviour is every kind of wrong. Perhaps then he will rethink his actions & refrain from such repulsive & illegal behaviour in the future. Shame about the dying dad, but that point becomes irrelevant compared to abuse.
My 2 pennies worth from someone who’s done the moving thing too many times? I reckon it takes 6 months minimum to feel anywhere near comfortable and at home – give it a few more months. And best of luck. x
I have always thought I’d be an “intimate” wedding person. After attending two weddings in 2008 which couldn’t have been more different, my mind was pretty much set.
To add to that, this is the most beautiful wedding I have seen pictures of… 19 guests, one long table, the day completely about the people getting married: http://photos.ellen.warnerbros.com/galleries/ellen_and_portias_wedding_day
I’m feeling torn about living abroad while my father suffers early onset Alzheimer’s in Sydney and whether I’m the worst daughter in the world, missing out on this time with him.
Hi Anon,
I feel for you, I went through the same seesaw of should I stay or should I go when my mum got sick. I chose to stay, but feel a lot of resentment about not being able to live the life I want to. I know I’d only feel guilty if I go, so really, it’s a lose/lose situation. My mum would be horrified if she knew I was staying because of her, and we’d never want our children to put their lives on hold for us right? So you are NOT the worst daughter in the world for choosing to live your life. But although this will not get rid of your guilt, just remember that you’re doing what makes you happy, which would make your father happy. And anyway, you can always come home if you need to…
you have added some perspective to this discussion. best of luck
Mia, is it possible to get rid of the floating ads on your blog? I know they help pay the bills … but they are ever so slightly annoying!!
Yes please! More hats for all!
Next time- chocolate AND fruit! Chocolate trumps anything though
Good point – we tend to be always torn about something!
That was my favourite video Mia. I’m back on MM after a short break (wasn’t feeling well) and this is such a fantastic question to begin with…
) – I study Media and Communications and there is a big question mark right after my degree. What will I do?!
I am torn between REAL life and VIRTUAL reality (the internet)!! I feel like the internet has become a massive vacuum, yet I use it to communicate with friends and family, blogging, for entertainment, news etc etc.
I also don’t know whether to continue blogging or not.
Lastly (not really last thing, but I will stop right now
I have to carve out my own future…but it isn’t easy (and it’s not meant to be!).
Ooh she’s delicious.
Invite your friends and family to a baby-warming with champagne and canapes, then roll out the celebrant and get married then and there.
always torn about the same things….money,kids,work,health,family,happiness….never changes..
what am I torn about?
what is going to happen to my 2 autistic boys? will i get them into an early intervention school? how will we afford it ($45K per annum per child)? i will have to give up work to be able to take them (because its very hands on for parents), so how will we survive financially? how will i still do this, and take my 4 year old to kindy and still keep her “in the loop”, and make her feel included? i’m exhausted thinking about it
What am I feeling torn about?
At the moment, because I recently realised that im not living in the present. I tend to spend all my time reliving shitty events in the last year and thinking “what if Id done this, etc” and feeling terrified everytime I try and plan the future, Im currently in that transit period, in a shitty job with shitty pay, but not sure what steps to take to get to the life I want to be.
Quarter life crisis, anyone?!
sorry …’congratulations’
Hi Mia,
Question for you: where do you see yourself – work and family wise – in 5 years time? Would you ever consider full-time breakfast TV presenting? (I think you’d be great!).
Like many readers below, I’m constantly feeling torn about my family/work time balance. I have just returned to part-time work and it has been an exhausting juggle between the housework, parenting and paid work.
Hi Mia – your videos are brilliant!!!
I am torn…..I left Sydney, Family, Friends and a Career (which was at borderline take off mode) and moved to the Middle East to be with my wonderful man whom I love so very much and has a wonderful career here…. however after 4 months I still have no job (not due to lack of trying!!!), I don’t have a strong friend/ support network (again…not due to lack of trying!!!), I find because of the different laws/ culture I am struggling to find the ‘happy medium’ (although, again…not due to lack of trying…), I feel as though I am constantly ‘raging against the machine’, I can’t seem to catch a break and I am miserable – which makes ‘us’ miserable…and this was never what I had intended for us, I believed being together would make us so happy and that everything would be ok…. So – do I take a ‘big girl pill’ and stay here and tough it out – or do I head back to Sydney…so so torn….
It worries me that you even feel torn about this. If this is what happened, then your friend can look after himself, regardless of what has happened to his father. That kind of behaviour is not only repulsive, it’s illegal.
Oh no. Doesn’t sound like much of a friend if he ‘held you down’.
Melbourne…
She is so divine… I had to re read you post to remember what I was going to reply!
Wait until this gorgeous mini Marina is walking and can be your flowergirl…
aagghh, the chocolate always wins with me too!
Mia,
You are lovely, I do enjoy watching your videos.
I am torn about loving my husband and living with him and our kids OS and then missing my family who live in Australia.
ps- I haven’t written for ages since I’m at home visiting and have been so busy, not sure if you missed me but wanted to tell you I still check in every day to see what you are writing. xo
I think I just ovulated…..
Ask Mia questions: How do you get everything done, especially with 3 kids?? Do you outsource a lot of things: nanny, house cleaner, ironing? Do you shop online for groceries, your clothes, kid’s clothes? Does your husband and family help out? How do you structure your day?
Cluck , Cluck , Cluck…
Torn by work vs family. I just increased my 21 month old’s days at day care to 4 days per week so I could keep my work hours while my partner returned to work. If I think about it logically, I am the primary wage earner and will be for some time and my child is in good quality care which she loves, so there should not be a problem. But every now and then I have a sharp intake of breath. I suspect that this mother-guilt is a chronic condition for which there is no treatment.
I’m also regularly torn by read vs sleep.
HI Mia, Curretnly engaged I’m feeling torn about the option of eloping vs “my big fat greek wedding” function. I have been with my parter for over 6 years now, we have a baby girl ( 5 weeks) together. Both of us have been previously married (both had big weddings to previous ex’s) so the thought of spending my 12 months maternity leave organised a wedding all over again leaves me having cold feet to the whole idea… Don’t get me wrong I’m madly in love with my parter and as much as I would love to share this special day with our closest 80 famiy and friends it’s becoming all to much of an expensive, not to mention time consuming exersise as soon as the word “wedding” is mentioned to any function provider. I don’t know if I should just “run away” and make it a personal event just for the two of us or have the whole big shabbang and enjoy the day, lighter on the wallet and a little less hair…
loving lots of the posts, feeling torn about the work baby mummy thing like lots of others too
another thing I’m torn about is whether to put $20k+ into a new business that I think will have legs, which i would have to do ‘on the side’ to afford to throw money away but I also think no risk, no gain & that I should trust myself & my good (I think) business judgement & do it… because I have wanted to have my own business for at least 5 years now & think it would be an easy-ish one to create & run successfully
hot job will still be there when you go back from mat leave. you will not regret having a baby. it is the most magical thing on earth (mum of 8 mth old, also an exec in the career world, just went back to work 2 weeks ago) – you fit back in where you left off (if you are lucky I guess, but seriously, the career will be there for you to pick up again
I’m feeling torn about lots of things at the moment. Work – I’m working like a crazy person, but not getting paid or even appreciated for the ridiculous amount of extra hours I’m putting in. Where to live – Sydney or Perth. Not sure there will ever been a answer to that. Boys – whether to start something I know is going to be hard work because of excess baggage.
Today I was most torn choosing between a 3 pm chocolate bar or the piece of fruit on my desk. The chocolate won!
These aren’t selfish statements at all. They are the questions that I would bet nearly all women having racing in their minds before they start a family. I know I did.. and I honestly didn’t get any answers, but just decided that no matter what the answers were, we wanted to have a baby. And we did, and it’s the best thing we ever did.
Oh, and yes, we have less money, the housework piles up, my body isn’t what it used to be and sometimes I feel tied to the house and the kids drive me crazy… but it’s STILLl the best thing we ever did.
Nothing compares to the privlege of watching children grow and change before your eyes. Aside from making me tired and sometimes cranky, being a mum makes my heart swell up with pride and love every day.
She’s not the adult you are, its not her choice. I’m going through a similar thing at the moment too. Go to information nights to get a feeling of the school culture. Look at the kids in school uniform in the neighbourhood in the morings and after school. Which ones look nice and are polite to shop keepers and have respect for their appearance ? Which ones hang around in mobs and nearly knock people to get past them? Our local girls high school academically has a great reputation & did well on the my school websit but the girls dont wear their uniform with pride, you can see their push up bras through their unbuttoned shirts and basically look skanky.
I second this – completely
I chopped mine up and had it made into a Christening gown for my children.
I second Mel’s comment about regular care one or two days a week rather than occasional care. I think it’s easier for the child to cope if they know what is going on: same days each week, same drop off and pick up times. Also they have the same classmates this way and they make friends. My daughter is 2 and a half and has been in care 2 days a week for about 8 months and she loves it. She chooses her own outfit in the morning and picks which toy she is going to take with her for the day. The first 2 times I dropped her off she was very upset but it got better from there. It took about 6 weeks before she was really excited about going. She’s just in a regular run-of-the mill ABC center (We looked at several centers and it seemed like the best in our area). My husband and I agreed if she was still unhappy 2 months after enrolling we would take her out because I think sometimes kids just aren’t ready but you don’t know until you try.
At 2yrs of age she’s almost 3, which is when its recommended for kids start preschool anyway. Dont feel guilty, she wont be lonely. She will be in a room full of other children her own age. Visit centres and you will get a good feeling about the right place.
Most of each day I feel torn. My big one is career v. family. I’ve just re-entered the workforce after an 8yr child-rearing hiatus. I adored being a stay-at-home mum.I also love my career, and the sense of contribution & stimulation is gives me. The mortgage and cost of living means that my job takes a bit of pressure off financially. But it takes me away from what I love the most. I notice that I can still get most things done, but not to the same level, and my fatigue level has doubled. I’m sick of shunting the kids off to before and after-school-care, the grandparents house etc…My job carries a huge repsonsibility, and sometimes I wish I had a job that wasn’t so demanding, with hrs from 9.30-2.30. Also, I would love to have another baby. I have 2 kids – 9 & 5. Hubbie has had a vasectomy – we were 110% sure we were done. But are we???
On a lighter note, I’m also torn between:
Gym v. TV
Healthy snack v. cheesecake
Madison v. Marie Claire
Do I cut my hair or leave it long?
Cutting away toxic friends, or taking the good with the bad.
Orangebird I think I have the obvious solution to your dilemma.
Forget about the numbers on the scale – eat consciously, eat to be healthy. Cut out sugar and refined grains and replace with nutrient dense food. Drink LOTS of water, move your body, enjoy your body. Whatever weight your body settles into, THAT’S the weight you were meant to be. Make peace with body, love your body and take pride and pleasure in the fact you are taking the very best care of you!
Weddings with grace, that book made me want to leave!
I too want to go home. For me, home is not my technical hometown but actually my adopted home of Auckland, NZ. The longing hasn’t gone away either, just need to convince hubs to go.
I’m torn between being there for my “friend” after his father passed away or not because he freaks me out after holding me down on the couch so he & his girlfriend could have their way with me…
You are welcome Anon For This! I got my husband to have the laser for the vasectomy because it made me feel better about him getting it done, like we still had a choice. 2 years later I’m completely at ease with the idea of no more children….maybe because my toddler is a brat though…
I’m feeling torn about having a baby. I really want one, I have a great husband that wants a family and I’m not getting any younger. We discussed when we would like to have a baby and when the time would be right, and that time has arrived.
But I’m my mind all I can think about is “what about money” “what about my career” “what about my body” “Who is going to do all the housework and laundry” “Am I going to be tied to the house” “What about my mental health”( I have suffered from depression)
I know how selfish these statements sound and now that I am in my thirties I’m crazy to let anything stop me from trying. But I’m scared and torn
Hi Mia,
Long time reader, first time commenting (oh a bit nervous!). Like many of your readers, I’m torn between returning to work & putting my 8 mth old into child care. Feeling sooo anxious about it I think I’ve actually lost 2 kg of baby weight! Have been touring child care centres and I’ve found one that I like so I’m now coming to terms with with her going into child care. I know it will be great for her development, etc but I’m also anxious about going back to my corporate media job (and wearing high heels again is a bit scary too!). As you know, the industry moves sooo quickly and its going to be like my first day of school all over again. Being out of the game and having this time at home with my baby where you dont even think about work has made me realise that its not really what I want to do anymore. But finding something else, that’s part time in this industry (media/marketing) thats close to home is just non existant so I’m definately feeling the pressure to return to the company I worked for where I can at least go part time and still earn a good quid. Then there’s having to work out what to wear to work each day…
I am feeling torn about money! Trying to buy the necessities and also “keep up appearnces” is becoming extremely stressful!
We just can’t seem to get on top of things at the moment. We are chasing our tails each pay check and cutting back where I can – guess I’m not trying hard enough to cut back!!!
Mia you are fantastic, so ‘real” and yet inspiring too! I hope you can help me – I am torn as I am on the cusp of buying a fabulous business which is located in one city and at the same time my hubby has just been promoted at work to a fantastic role – in a different city! He has been waiting a long time for this promotion (and deserves it) and to turn it down would really be a death knell for his career. Additionally the city his role is in is our home town where our family is located however we haven’t lived there for 15 years, so we do have quite a good network here. The biz I am buying I have worked in for a number of years and it is potentially very lucrative, enough to set my family up for the future. It is also ideal as I have three young children and the biz only takes approx 30 hours a week to run, a lot of which can be done from home. So does my hubby do the long-distance commute each week, I give up my dream and a potential life-changing opportunity for our family or my hubby bypass his own great opportunity??? I am open to any ideas, help!!!
Thanks Mia for answering my question I really appreciate it and hope that this will give me more direction and motivation.
One more question for you when you have time – how do you feel about the lack of sexuality articles in women’s magazines? I have a subscription to Cosmo/Cleo magazines but am often disappointed that all the sex stories are about heterosexual relationships. I understand that perhaps the majority of the readership are heterosexual but what about the bisexual and gay women out there who read these magazines too? Did this issue ever come up while you were working in magazines?
There has been the occasional ‘lipstick lesbian’ stories (as I like to call them) about women experimenting but never anything about relationships or sex.
Answering your question – I am torn between my passion for writing and being unable to type/write at the moment. My hand is bandaged up after I slammed my thumb in the car door yesterday… I guess no matter how much I injure myself I will find a will to keep writing!! It makes me wonder what all these writers out there do when they don’t have proper functionality in their hand/s. Hopefully I’ll be back as good as new soon as this post took me about 3x longer to post!!
I guess the answer lies somewhere between wanting a better life and/or opportunities for your children than you think you had and doing too much at your own expense. Not sure if I’ve got the right balance but I’m trying hard to find it.
I had a very difficult first pregnancy and my Doctor suggested that I put my daughter into some form of daycare if I wanted to have another successful pregnancy. I was quite shocked, as I had never considered day-care (and back then as a first time mum, I was a little too judgemental). She loved it. I loved it. The only problem we had was that she got sick a lot in the beginning – all of my kids went to childcare and they all have fabulous immune systems now that they are older. The trick is to shop around and find the right centre for you. I found that one centre offered me an immediate spot, but it was a horrible place! We ended up over the years using two boutique, smaller centres that met my criteria and that of my kids. (A little bit more expensive, but worth it for peace of mind).
Dani .. I think you’ll be fine. We left Sydney five months ago( in different circumstances, we retired) and moved to central Victoria where we had family. It was the best thing we ever did – we didn’t even glance backwards as we left Sydney, we were so glad to be out of the place. We’d been there 40 years.
Providing you get out and about, be a ‘doer’ and a ‘joiner’ I’m sure you’ll have a great time. And I’m sure there’ll be other mothers’ groups.
I too am torn between work and being a mum. LOVE both but just don’t feel to be doing either to my best ability on any given day. Head feels all over the shop. Love the video and can’t wait to read Zoe Foster and Paula Joye’s posts!
Lou, I understand your feelings. My son had to go into care 2 days a week when he was 14mths old as I had to return to work and we have no-one to call on. The only “us time” my husband and I get is when we visit his mum once or twice a year. My son absolutely loves day care. He runs into the centre and gets excited about his friends and carers, there have been days when he is upset when I leave, but within a couple of minutes he is fine (i know, I ring them to check or I go outside where I can still hear). He is totally in love with one of the carers too, it’s very cute.
I suggest you check out centres in your area and consider regular care (one or two days a week) instead of occasional care. That way it is part of her routine. I know im a better mummy when i’ve had a bit of a break from my darling, but demanding, boy. The only way you’ll have any idea though is if you physically go in and tour the centres, see what you think of them.
Good luck
Baby. It’s priceless.
My ‘questions’, I should say.
My question: Are you still doing harem pants? Please say no. And would you consider yourself a fashion victim? Just being nosey…
Thanks Mia.
I’d love to hear the answer to that one, Jacksta.
I’m distressed about leaving it too late to have a baby. I just hadn’t met the right man and didn’t want to do the single mum thing as I think it’s hard enough when there’s two of you and I also wanted the “family”. Now I’m 44, feel 30! I would make a wonderful mother and I’m so sad that I most likely won’t be, unless a miracle occurs. I guess I have to accept that life doesn’t always happen the way you think it will but it’s a hell of a lot to lose out on. It will be very hard for me in the future and sad.
Meant to add you can check out how I try to live as a Sunny Mummy at http://www.sunnymummyaus.blogspot.com
HI Mia,
It is no secret I am a HUGE fan, thats why I always send you my Sunny Mummy tools before my husband even sees them
I have a feeling they are buried in your inbox somewhere though and you are yet to see them? Either that or you hate them
Yes we all love frocks, mags, surfing the net, celebrity gossip but what is all of this, if you are torn on a regular basis over your role as a mother and work? That you constantly feel there is not enough time?
Can I suggest that there IS enough time in the day, we just dont use it the way we need to. Far too many mummies are struggling with this so Mia I have a suggestion or perhaps it is better called a challenge, for Ask Mia!
You could show all the mummies torn with work/family balance the inspirational, organisational tools I have created for Sunny Mummy then use them for a week. I would love to see if it makes a difference to your day and the way you feel…
Most mummies these days know about the ‘Yummy Mummy’ status.
I say forget about trying to keep up with this external illusion, being a ‘Sunny Mummy’ is such a warmer place to be…
The Sunny Mummy Assistant keeps you on track in every role you play as a mother and supports you to SHINE!
I am on a mission to help Mummies be Sunny rather than yummy, value the various roles they have in this busy life and PUT THEMSELVES first in order to look after their families BEST!
Who else would like to see Mia participate in the Sunny Mummy challenge?
I so agree. My cousin went to a very prestigous private school but home life was crap (actually non existant) so he ended up pissing all his opportunities up the wall and lives a very basic unfulfilled adult life. An expensive education means nothing if the kids are coming home to disinterested parents.
Oh yes, I meant Wendy Squires.
Wendy Squires & Paula Joye.
Thanks so much caring ladies. I feel so…supported! I am indeed in a loving, caring relationship. Married 5 years. I think I might start the production of my little “it’s time to grow a human” project right now!
That’s a hard one and doesn’t have an easy solution. I can only say from my own experience that sometimes it’s the tumultuous history that draws couples together for life – they may be lost without each other.
Totally with you on the whole work / mum / feeling torn thing. I’ve recently started up my own business to bring in some extra cash (I also teach part-time at uni) and cannot help but feel anguished by the time I spend on my work rather than making macaroni necklaces, doing craft and/or playing snap with my four-year-old daughter. I also have a 16-month-old and I really wish I could give her more time. I guess it comes down to how well you manage the hours of your day. I try to schedule work after the girls go to bed but I’m usually completely exhausted. Lou, can I suggest you take a softly-softly approach to childcare – even though you say it makes you physically sick at the mere thought, once you have the kids in care you can trust it is tremendously liberating. When my four-year-old was little I used to put her in a creche at the gym I go to, it was only a couple of hours a week but it worked well to get us both used to the concept. She’s now at preschool three days a week and she loves it. Amy the 16-month-old starts at the same preschool in October. I know and trust them, so I know she’ll do well there. And Lou, are you in a mother’s group? They can be very supportive as well. Good luck with it all – it’s hard!
I was apprehensive at putting my then 13mth old in Day Care for 1 day a week. It turned out it was the best thing for her. She has learnt independence, made lots of friends and comes home singing new songs and knows new words. She had a picture book come home at Christmas with all her artwork and paintings in and I am so proud of her! She loves showing the book off to everyone! She gets excited when I tell her “It’s day care tomorrow!” and I actually feel like I am a better mum from having a bit of time away from her (even though it’s at work). She will probably cry and it will be hard the first few times, but think of all the wonderful things she can get out of it. Good luck in your decision…it turned out to be a really good one for me xox
I got a small tattoo when I was 21 as a way to remember someone close to me who I lost. It’s in a place that is normally hidden, not on display. I asked myself before I had it done “When I am 80 years old, will I regret having this done?” The answer was no. I say, ask yourself that question, but also seriously consider where you have it as well. Some things are harder to cover up when you’re older
Yes, good luck!!
Agree with fatgirljesse – never a right time. I was 33 when I had my first and what pushed me along was thinking about how many children I wanted to have. If you only want one, then you probably have some time up your sleeve, but if you want say 3, well that might push things along. All the best, with whatever decision you make!
Oh Gnats I feel for you. The conclusion that I have come to – and it’s not rocket science on my behalf!! – is that we need to make the choices that we personally can live with, and then this is the hard bit, not second guess ourselves and just keep moving forward! You sound like a lovely mum
You have beautiful teeth **blushes**
I am feeling terribly torn about work and child care. My little girl is now 2 and I’ve been trying to manage freelancing and looking after her without any form of child care since she was born. Trying to be creative within a nap period is difficult! My parents are too far away to call on with any regularity, as are my in-laws. I would love to get a bit more time to work/me time but I’ve never been apart from my daughter for any length of time. My husband and I haven’t even gone to the movies for 2 years, let alone a nice dinner or date! And don’t get me started on the time I have for myself. In short: none. But the thought of her being lonely, or looking for me and me not being there, at occasional care makes me physically ill. I don’t know what to do.
My parents have been married for 47 years I am not sure that they are in love anymore (and haven’t been for some time). Mum may soon need more care due to health problems and Dad has said he isn’t up for it, they have a tumultuous history . I am TORN….I really am starting to believe they would be happier apart. Is it wrong/bad of me to suggest my parents separate? Who would ever suggest splitting up a family (albeit a grown one)? How would I explain it to my little kids? I can’t even imagine what it would look. I am shredded!
I am feeling torn about moving back to live in the same town as my family. I left there at age 19 all guns blazing. 20 years later, I am living in the big smoke (Sydney) with a house, partner and adorable (if not active and naughty) 18month old. My partner is not from Oz and doesnt love Sydney as much as I do, he only see’s the traffic, the busy nature. So after much discussion we have decided to move interstate, back to my family as we find that it would be a much easier life for us to have family around. Interstate my son will have a grandma, 3 cousins within 1 year of him, 2 auntie’s and uncles and a quality of life that we cannot achieve in Sydney.
I am torn because it will be my job (albeit part time) that will suffer as my partner has got the transfer. It will be the relationships I have had for over 15 years in Sydney, in addition to the local people I have made through the ‘mother’s group’, women that have helped me over the past 18months.
So happy, but a bit sad…
I pick baby too!! fatgirljesse is right, there’s never the perfect moment so just bite the bullet. If it’s a great company they will be happy for you.
Yup don’t wait, go the baby.
oh good question
Torn between responsibilities (to myself and family) while building a house vs living a life and having some fun! This week, I have made it a priority for me to have some fun and catch up with friends so I am happier.
I am torn by the fact no one is asking your friend Wendy to blog? Tee hee. XXX
It will get better, and your 2 year old will enjoy daycare, but starting is hard for everyone. My 5 year old has just started school, loves it but wants to be the Prime Minister and change it so we have 2 days of school, and 5 days of weekend. It will be ok.
Hi potty mouth, thanks and ha! ha!
When I originally asked the question, I asked whether you used that type of word when your children could hear. I did not want you to infer any implied criticism or judgement. I am older than you, and I was genuinely interested in what an intelligent thinking and loving mother of young children (patronising?) of today, does with regard to swearing in front of them. I really have no agenda to push; I am just curious, and that is no BS.
Anyway, cogratulations on your video, it is delightful. Could you stretch it to a weekly one. If you do not have any questions to ask, could you comment on, say, the results of your most popular posting of the week?
Mia … How did you lose your Wedding Dress???
Good luck Vicki II – hope for a positive outcome!
Can he move east for a while?
Come! WA is booming and Fremantle is great!
Tell us amandrose! Tell us!! Pleeeeeeease
Do the Vegas thing and have a party here after for your family and friends? I can’t help but think that if you’re already feeling a little wistful about not celebrating with them, then that feeling probably isn’t going to lessen…
I’m feeling torn about many things – family, kids, time, commitments, an argument with a friend.
But today I’m pondering whether it’s too soon to get back to Rouge Noir on my toenails, or should I stay with Jaffa Orange until Autumn… hmmmm….
I’m feeling torn about where to study next year! I want to study Medicine, but can’t make up my mind where!! My boyfriend recently moved to Fremantle to study (we’re both from Brisbane) and I can’t decide if I should come here too or study at he Gold Coast. Siiiiigh
As a regular reader of this forum I’ve come to realise that “mother guilt” never really lessens it just changes its form. At 48 I’m probably a bit older than most of the contributors to Mamamia (apparently only 3% of readers/contributors are in my age bracket – not sure why) but I can identify with most of the issues relating to raising children and getting the work/family balance right. I returned to work through necessity when my children started school and often felt guilty about not being “there” for them after school each day and for canteen/reading/school holidays etc etc. Somehow they survived the “trauma” of it all and both have finished school now and are pursuing further study that will hopefully give them headstarts into lifelong careers.
My question is this – when do you stop supporting your children financially and are you in fact doing the right thing by allowing them to undertake full time study without the added pressure of worrying about money. When I left school the expected thing was to get a job and move out of home but subsequently struggle most of your adult life in lower paying jobs. In saying that I became a very independent and self sufficient person. My dilemma as a parent is whether I am doing the right thing by making their lives easier (but mine harder) so they can actively pursue a better career or is it “character building” to cut the apron (and financial) strings and let them fly (or fall) themselves. See the worry and guilt about your children and your choices as a parent goes on an on………
Mia,
With you receiveing well over 100 comments on almost every post now, it is clear you have developed a broad, diverse community here at MamaMia. What are some things, related to your blog and the MM community that still surprise you after several years of blogging?
What am I feeling torn about? Where to live. Hubby & I currently live in Canberra and I love it. It is the perfect place for me and i think my children – I love everything about it, except that we have no family nearby. Hubby would love to move to Perth to be close to his family (and I have a sister there also). I think I would hate it, but I also am feeling very lost without any extended family around us. Trying to get a last minute babysitter – hard. Needing to drop around at last minute to sisters house for a cry/whinge/wine/laugh – impossible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother & sisters. Friends are great but they just aren’t family.
Great vid post Mia. In response to your question. I am feeling torn about not having a “real” job. All my life I have wanted to devote time to writing so this year I have taken a year off work to “follow my dreams”. While I’ve made a start on my novel and my blog http://www.genxjourney.com (sorry-shameless self promotion), I am feeling torn about not having a real pay slip every week. I’ve got weird about not spending money on myself (my husband thinks I am being ridiculous). I’ll spend money on the home and groceries, just not on me, because I’m not earning and therefore contributing. Is it because I’ve worked since I was 20 and so much of my identity was wrapped up what I did (and didn’t particularly like), not who I am. Gosh all this sounds like a post for my own blog! So in summary: I’m torn between enjoying my passion and needing to financially contribute to our family.
Thankyou Helen, it sounds like good advice. And I did not know there are different ways of doing the Procedure. I will be wrestling with being torn still as I am still quite emotional about it. But you are right, I will have teens when my friends will be doing daycare still.
I am just not used to feeling that something I cannot control is controlling my life.
Thankyou very much xx
My suggestion… take a leave of absence before your final year and go get some work experience in the fields you think you want to get into. I did that after my first year not knowing what to do, and completely changed degrees/unis after working and being mentored by a CEO who had a very interesting climb to where he got to. It completely changes your perspective and provides clarity. Once I made the decisions I did, I haven’t wavered once.
Either that or choose a very broad major (I’m not sure what your degree is but for example if it was business, do a management major which is not too focussed), so that you can slot into a number of things.
Biologically I would have kept having babies until Michelle Duggar bowed at my feet (hey, I got a ten year head start on her!).
Look at it dispassionately, and make your husband get laser instead of scalpel which is less painful and more easy to reverse. I’m going to tell you it’s hormones, because it probably is. Pick up those sweet newborns and breathe in that sweet scent – then look and their bloody exhausted mother and say ‘that’s behind me now’.
And when your kids all grow up, you can make your friends with teens underfoot jealous of your carefree days.
sorry about the typos & rambling – not one of my best days
I’m feeling torn about work life balance too. Most specifically am i doing the right thing in putting my too darlings (2.5 & 10 months into family daycare 3 days a week so i can return to work. This is day 2 of daycare (yesterday went well – they ate/slept & seemed ok. I was nausous and gutwrenchingly sad all day).
I love my kids, i like my work. I like the money that working will give me and the little extras it will allow my family to have. But i chose to have those gorgeous little ones. I grew those babies for 9 months, pushed them out, cuddled them fed them sang to them and walked the floor in the middle of the night. Now they are in someone else’s care and it’s killing me… today. I know I pull it together, but today, i’m TORN. This sucks
Hi, I agree with ‘weddings with grace” only you can know what the happiest outcome will be. It seems from your writing, that you have been the one making all the sacrifices & comprimises & are the ‘giver’ in the relationship. As a witness to my parents relationship where my mum was the ‘giver’ i have seen that this eventually wears you down & bitterness creeps in. My mum & dad were married for 34 years before she left the marriage. All their life Dad made the decisions, what car they would buy, the colour for the house to be painted (but mum did the physical labour!) then they went into a counry pub, 5 hours from her family (us). Dad always said it was a 10 yr plan then they’d sell & retire well. 4 yrs ago pub prices were unbeleivably good, i was pregnant with twins & mum, having missed out on being around for her otehr 2 grandchildren didnt want to miss out again.
She started (as you are) pushing dad to sell & move back, their ‘agreement’ was fullfilled, just about 10 yrs was up & now mum felt it was ‘her’ time. All dad was worried aboutwas what he would do with himself, there is a bit of status in being a publican in a small country town. No thoughts for mum, our even him wanting to be with his grandchildrne, only himself & his needs. Thus Mum left. The marriage couldnt survive once she realised she was always going to be second fiddle & he wasnt in a partnership with her, she was just tagging along.
Dont get me wrong, it still could have ended up pearshaped as dad could well have come back & been bitter towards mum for making him leave his beloved pub, but he wasnt even willing to consider it. This was the wake up moment for my mum.
Whilst i am not suggesting this is your situation, i just want to highlight that you have 10 yrs together, my mum had 34 & it never changed. Be careful about giving everything to wake up one day & find you have given all & are turing bitter about it & end up leaving anyway.
To my mind a relationship is about sacrifices on both sides.
Thank you Judy – that was a really nice comment. I know I’ve made the right choice for me and my family – I am about 2 weeks away from giving birth to number 2 and I think the hormones and the fact that the 2 year old went crazy yesterday made me lose a sense of perspective!! My perspective today is that the 2 year old went crazy as he is starting to see evidence – baby capsule in car, baby room being set up – that the baby is coming and thus he needs some extra love and reassurance!! Thanks again. Mrs M
I was once given some great advice that has rung true every time since i heard it. There is never a ‘perfect’ time to have a baby, so just do it. I think that this advice needs some basic assumptions about the status of the relationship & well being of the parents & is more about having enough money, bigger house, right time in career, new car, renovations etc etc etc, there is always something we ‘want’. If you are in a stable, loving relationship, go for it….there is never a right time.
I’ve always wanted to just get married in a registery office…plus the one where we’re having it has a lovely garden. It’s not about saving money it’s more about me not wanting an actual wedding I just want to be married, plus I’m not big on weddings. I just feel kind of silly getting excited about the registery office.
But thanks for the advice. And yes, Carrie and Big’s wedding with the cute/small meal afterwards is exactly what I want
Go the baby! Dont wait.
Question(s) for Mia: Do you still have a mentor? Who do you look up to? Who do you think most represents those of Gen Y in a positive way?
Torn about: What to do about work – change jobs to be more focussed on what I’m studying or go for the promotion in something not so related.
Oh Karen, that is such an awful thing to be torn about. Only you can know what will ultimately be the happiest outcome for you. But from an outsider’s perspective only going off what you’ve written there I feel like perhaps you would be happiest moving back to Australia even if that does mean moving back without your husband. Whilst seperating would be an incredibly painful process, I think that for someone who seems to have compromised their own happiness for a number of years now you for the sake of your husbands sake you will find it thrilling to be able to do those things which make you happy, and to reclaim those things that you love about yourself. To be able to come home to family which is so important to you, to re-settle in a place that you have always felt a special affinity with and to not always have that niggling doubt in your mind about where your husband really is when he comes home late….
I would say to definitely follow your heart and come back to Australia.
Can I recommend a book which I think will really resonate with you at the moment? “Why you are Australian: A Letter to My Children” by Nicki Gemmell (yes name familiar as the ‘anonymous’ author of The Bride Stripped Bare). This book is her memoir about how after living in London for years and years she can’t bury the overwhelming pull she feels to return to Australia and actually brings her children back with her for an ‘extended stay’ while her husband stays in London (this is not a spoiler, she covers these points within first few pages). Reading this book made me so proud to be Australian, not in an over the top drape myself in the flag nationalistic pride sense, moreso in the just so grateful for my own Australian childhood spent on boogie boards kind of way).
Warning: This book will make you want to move back.
TeddyBear I’d go myself and check out the schools. I checked out all 4 in my area and the one I chose for the kiddo was the smallest and possibly least funded but it ‘just felt right”. Most schools have orientation later in the year, however a good way to see how one operates is to check out the P&C meetings? usually they’re held once a month and there’s no reason you couldn’t just go along to one or two to suss the parents and attitudes out.
*Most of her friends from preschool went to a different ones but over the last few years several have changed schools to ours for various reasons and now couldn’t be happier. Go with your gut
Hi Mia, Great video. I am a hat wearer to. The more the merrier I say.
At the moment torn about where we should move to, we are selling our current property and if we should rent or build…….also cant decide whether or not to go back to work, who will take care of my 1 year old baby boy? It breaks my heart to think about it.
Mick & Bianca Jagger (ok the marriage didn’t last but that is still one of the true lasting wedding images I have ever seen… or perhaps I just have a thing for white pantsuits and big hats….)
I wear hats inside too. Well actually, one hat. My favourite little brown bucket hat I got in Byron Bay about 5 years ago. But the main reason I wear it inside is because during summer I swim in the ocean a lot and can’t be bothered washing my hair everyday so the hat goes on and stays there all day some days. I’ve had some seriously crazy hat-hair at the end of the day let me tell you!
Torn? Always. I have owned by own business Child Friendly Solutions for over 10 years and am just getting to the stage where I want to do something different, preferably extend myself creatively with writing and painting. But the business pays me well and has been good to me in terms of time flexibility, etc.
Am trying to find ways to have cake and eat it too, scratch the itch and 43 other metaphors for HAVING IT ALL!!!
Natalie, you’ve articulated this topic well. I feel the same.
My son just started at a Catholic primary school last year and, after 20 odd years of being a lapsed Catholic, I’m finding myself immersed in a school culture where one of the mottos is “Speak and act with kindness”.
I’m reinforcing this to my child but have been trying to take it on board myself as I realised that I have always flinched from the bitchy stuff, even whilst partaking in it. I’ve decided I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore.
Great video Mia.
Question: Are you disciplined with your day? Do you have time set aside to do certain things like (eg 9am write, then say 11am do washing etc, 1pm have lunch, finish up 5pm etc) or does it just flow and before you know it the kids are home and you’ve been writing all day, the kitchens a mess and you’ve had no lunch? I’m asking this because I am struggling with this at the moment. Being home all day I have decided I need to set myself more of a schedule so I dont waste so much time and end up getting nothing done.
I am loving that you wear hats ALL the time. More people should wear hats!
I am extremely torn that my husband wants to get a vasectomy. He is so adamant that he is getting one that he is booked in to see a Urologist early March so it has come too quick for me.
He is 38 and I am only just 30 and I have 3 kids. The youngest has just turned one. I really don’t want him to cut all babies off forever – so to speak. And I am completely torn between – do I settle that three children is enough? Or is my longing for another just due to hormones and totally impractical? I realise that my children are my life as I didn’t focus on a big career when I was young as I did the marriage thing early and babies started when I was 22. Now all my friends have cought up and are starting families I feel massive pangs that I will never get to have another baby ever again. My husband wanted me to get a Hysterectomy and I refused, so now everything is “Well I’m doing this vasectomy for you!” I didn’t want him to get one in the first place and I know he would possibly leave if I got pregnant again – that is how adamant he is about the no baby situation.
I have no idea what to do and I just cry when I think that he is ending that chapter before I am ready. I am worried too that no babies in my life will make me jealous of all my mates who have started to have them. I know I have 3 already and I am probably greedy – I had trouble conceiving the first two and the third was a natural. It worries me that I will hold a grudge against him for life and I won’t be able to move on. Does everyone have this problem? And do you know if you have had enough babies? Or is the biological urge just so strong that I am being irrational?
Oh Gosh, that is something that will tear you apart for sure Karen. What a tricky situation.
I look forward to your videos Mia – keep them up!
Currently not feeling terribly torn about anything, unless trying to motivate myself to join the gym and lose weight counts???
And a quick question, I’m a nail polish addict and the colour you were wearing in this video looked fab – what is it?
Great video Mia. You asked what are we torn about and right now. I’m very torn about living overseas. I feel the UK has never been my home and we’ve almost lived here 10 years. My husband loves it, he hasn’t visited home for 7 years but I need to go back at least every 2 years just to find myself because I don’t feel like me over here, is that weird? Have you ever lived overseas and really felt like you aren’t being yourself, or you miss things like Sportsgirl, Pitt Street Mall, walks by the harbour etc? I approached him a few days ago to ask honey what are our plans for the next year or so and I mentioned the economy is improving and when it was a good time for the housing market to sell, we should sell and go back because 10 years is a long time and our parents are older and we live so far away and he immediately said Karen, we’re NOT moving back to Australia! I’m really unhappy and feel I’ve lost what I loved about myself and everyday I cry about missing everyone, things I liked doing and being Home. Home is very important to me so I’ve not really been settled over here. Sydney’s my Home. So what advice can you give me. Do I follow my dream to be happy and if that means leaving my husband should I be putting myself first, or should I wait it out a little bit to see if he decides to change his mind? I’ve actually been torn about this for a couple of years and spoke to my Mum about it and she said a Wife’s place is with her husband and if that means he wants to live in the UK then you have to stick by his decision. I can see what she means because I don’t want to breakup our Marriage but really, why can’t my happiness be considered? Why am I always bending over backwards to make the relationship work and feeling like a failure? It stresses me out and could also be contributing to why I can’t get pregnant, although I know that’s hurt him a lot and I think its driving us apart as well as lack of communication, lack of time spent together, him always working, and the big thing is a few years ago he had an affair, he said it barely went anywhere but since then I really can’t trust and feel a big piece of me is being made a fool of. As they says once a cheater always a cheater so should I just follow my heart or give him time to come around? My best friend says I should just tell him I’m going or just not tell him and move back but we’ve been together 15 years and I feel I need to be honest and loyal to him or the past 15 years will all be for nothing. Living outside of Australia is not its all cracked up to be and its making me miserable. What do you suggest? I would appreciate your thoughts.
Torn about? Trying to work out what to do the last week of my European holiday later this year. Nice thing to be torn about, I suppose.
(Also torn about other things too personal to post.)
Mrs M, never feel torn about being able to spend time with your babies. I swung off the corporate ladder for 20 years before I finally worked up the courage to let go last year and I couldn’t have made a better choice for my family. I am now soothing my guilt (well trying to!) for all the early years when I wasn’t there by being here now (children now 14 and 11). No doubt today your two year old will be a cherub and your baby will sleep nicely and it will all look OK again.
Once again great video, I will say it again, I feel as though you were just talking to me … sigh … I’m so special … And I love your hats, you wear them so well. I am a hat woman because I am such a wimp I cannot stand the sun on my face or my ears cold, so consequently have a substantial wardrobe of hats (although less of them than shoes).
Nothing to be torn about at the moment, blessed to be able to juggle work (have a new job that is two days a week from home) and family although no doubt that will change in the next few weeks when the job ramps up. But for the moment I am pretending I have it all under control.
I’m torn about whether or not I’m happy about Heather Armstrong AKA dooce. She is going to have a show on HGTV.
http://www.businessinsider.com/hgtv-brings-on-blogging-mom-heather-armstrong-of-doocecom-2010-1
Doesn’t this destroy the independence and uniqueness of her blogging style and just turn it into another reality show? Will we stop liking her so much? Or is it just natural progression?
I am feeling torn about whether or not to have a baby. Pros to having a baby (for the first time I’m 33) IT’S A BABY! Cons: I just started a new job as creative director and don’t think leaving to have a baby would be a good move in year 1 of hot job.
Mia, I’ve noticed lately your posts have been getting a lot of rebuttals. People are seeming to seek out contradictory evidence for a few of them. My question is…does this type of thing disappoint you sometimes? When the direction of the post takes a turn you didn’t expect? Do comments ever affect you personally (I’m referring more to the nastier/critical ones here)?…I know you’re a seasoned media person (and so have had to deal with criticism) but when a post you’re passionate about gets slammed is that a bit more hurtful?
It sounds like a lot of questions… but they’re all related. All basically…how do you react to comments? Are you emotionally invested in them.
That sounds a lot like the criticism question in video 4, but I mean by well meaning, loyal commenters…who then take offense or deconstruct a post.
Also…completely randomly and for something different (because I’m planning a trip away!). What have been your travel experiences? Where/When/Who/any crazy situations?
Oh…I normally post under LaBelle…I don’t know what happened to my name.
Katy I have no idea about journalism. And no doubt you’ve considered this. But can you freelance for Eastern States papers while living in Perth? And maybe also look for an officey job but not too mind numbing?
I know this is probably not helpful but I’m still wondering…
heals? heels.
sorry bout other spelling. Awful, rushed.
Mia, I’ve noticed lately your posts have been getting a lot of rebuttals. People are seeming to seek out contradictory evidence for a few of them. My question is…does this type of thing disappoint you sometimes? When the direction of the post takes a turn you didn’t expect? Do comments ever affect you personally (I’m referring more to the nastier/critical ones here)?…I know you’re a seasoned media person (and so have had to deal with criticism) but when a post you’re passionate about gets slammed is that a bit more hurtful?
It sounds like a lot of questions… but they’re all related. All basically…how do you react to comments? Are you emotionally invested in them.
Also…on a more gossipy note. Care to comment on that bitchy blog about Aus mags? I don’t know much about it but I think it’s called 4 inch heals.
Rochelle – you should check out this blog and read Angela’s story about how she got to where she was. Based on your food-related idea, you might find some inspiration
http://www.ohsheglows.com
Thanks for another vid – looking forward to seeing them pop up more frequently.
What am I feeling torn about? Work. Or, more specifically, obsessing about my current corporate job versus the idea of starting up something of my own that I could be truly passionate about (not sure exactly what, but it would be food-related). The thing is, my current job allows me to pay the mortgage on my modest home and afford a few little luxuries on the side – I don’t really have any massive savings or parental funds to rely on, so going out on my own would take a huge leap of faith and force me to make some radical lifestyle changes. So I probably won’t do it. Sigh. But that niggling little thought never really goes away.
I’d be interested to hear more of your thoughts on marriage. It’s something I struggle with (and yes, I’ve just read and loved Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book!) so it would be good to hear your views on what marriage means to you, if that’s not too personal.
I second Guest’s question!
I have your article about infatuation plastered to my wall, it is exactly what I needed!
My question is, where does your inspiration come from each week? and how do you come across it? Because so many people have quirky, strange ideas about how to attain it.
How do you keep up to date with everything as well? I’m 19 and all my friends love your articles because we can so easily relate everything you say to our own lives, but also my mum relates to it too!
Anyway, you’re great,
Love Zara
paul and linda mcartney
Thanks for another Ask Mia. I wnjoy having the vieo stuff. A while back, when Erica Bartle had you on her blog, you said she’d be doig one here too. Plus the idea of other guests came up (such as Justine Clarke, one who I’d love to see). Is it still on the cards?
I’m feeling torn because we have a newborn. Over…everything to do with time. Time for the other kids. Time for my poor husband. Time for house things. Time for sleep…
Re: The best education for your children. It depends on how you define it. I went to a private school until year 10, then went to a public school for the rest due to my parents bankruptcy. I had some fantastic teachers and some not-so-great at both, and still went on to do very well. Some of the biggest derelicts I know came out of exclusive schools. I believe that a rich home life is far more important for your children. Best of luck with the business xx
I’m supposed to be tackling the ironing pile eye balling me but I saw this link on Facebook and had to come here…yes I’m procrastinating!
Thank you Mia, I really love these posts and how you keep it so real. I always drop everything (except my 7 month old bub) to hear the Ask Mia posts! It reminds me of when I used to buy Cosmo and go straight to the editor’s page to read your column
Speaking of editors…I am so excited that Paula Joye will be guest blogging! I bought pretty much every Madison magazine from day 1 because of Paula. I poured over Madison magazine every month. I especially enjoyed reading Paula’s column. My favourite was the one about her love for Bold and the Beautiful…something I can relate to. I will leave that one there. Please keep on hassling her Mia!!
Conflicts…well I have a few. I can definitely relate to the work/family conflict. I also have a work/passion conflict. I have a double degree in Law and Commerce. I have been working in the corporate world for over 10 years and am fortunate to get paid well for what I do. I also only work part time as I have young children at home. My employer is very flexible with work from home etc, they’re pretty amazing!
It has always been a passion of mine to have my own business in something other than law. So a couple of years ago I started my own Australian made childrens’ clothing label with my cousin. We are doing very well and I can see us growing significantly in the future. That said, it will take a number of years before I can earn the sort of money that I’m earning now in the corporate world through my business. We also want to provide our children with the best education which we can probably afford if I stay in the corporate world. At the moment I’m juggling family, corporate world, my own business, cat, 2 fish and running the household (gggrrrr that ironing is really eye balling me now!). Anyway enough about me! Relative to other conflicts people have mine are only minor. Hubby and I will figure them out:)
Question for you Mia – I’m halfway through your fabulous book which I’m loving (yes I always make time to read!) and I wanted to ask whether you keep a journal/diary? The reason I ask is because I was wondering how you remember certain things you write about in such detail? Also does your hubby mind that you write about him in the book and on your blog?
Thanks again and sorry for waffling!
xo
Oh and a question! Mia, I’ve read your book and found the parts about your early career very inspiring. You certainly didn’t give up. What are your top tips for getting promoted in a largely female dominated, young company?
I’m with amandarose, Guest – don’t do it !
I’m feeling torn about the ‘do what you love’ or ‘make more money’ thing. I have a degree in accounting but hate the work and am working as a manager for a fashion retail chain, which I love! Am planning to move up (and up and up), however it will take some time. I like retail and would like to make it my career, however I keep getting grief from parents/people who remind me how much I could be earning right now as an accountant.
Do what you enjoy and the money will surely follow, right??
That question feels timely for me as I am more torn now than I’ve ever been in my life. I moved to Sydney because it’s very hard to be a successful journalist in Perth, and it was crushing my soul to do admin work to pay the bills.
But I left behind my boyfriend of five years who I plan to marry one day, in a few years when our lives collide again. We see each other for a few wonderful days every two months and talk on the phone every day, and I love him more than ever, but sometimes I crave his company so much that I want to cry. It’s not the fancy dates and fun outings that I miss; it’s snuggling together on the couch, hanging out together in the kitchen, and coming home to find him there. Sometimes I just want to catch a plane back home and hide under his doona for the rest of my life.
But I just can’t bear the thought of going back to a mindless job and what I view as a bleak working future. My career here is going from strength to strength in a way it never could back home. But at what price? Will I look back one day and wish I’d taken a different path? Is what seems important now really so important in the grand scheme of things? By putting my career first, will I lose the one I love the most?
I am torn.
Hi Mia:
I am feeling torn about a bunch of things
, but I guess the biggest one is moving back to Oz after 10 years of living o/s. My husband (not Aussie) wants to more than I do! I still have friends at home that I’ve kept in touch with and I’ve also accepted the fact that I won’t be able to just slot back in with the old life I had before – I’ll have to find new friends etc .. something I find harder to do in your 30’s!). The hard part is taking the leap when we don’t know the basics (housing, job etc). No kids, but that might change before we move back. Kind of on the fence about my career (I want to wear several different hats!) too. But that’s what makes it fun, right??
I’m also torn about a friendship from uni that seems to be waning – I feel like this friend has really treated me poorly, probably without realising it. She is truly a wonderful person with a great heart, but not sure if I have the energy to keep making the effort when I don’t get anything in return.
I’m feeling torn about how this year will turn out… Will I ever get a job after finishing my degree in HR ? It’s proving the be very difficult without having 2 years of work experience. And how will EVER be able to move out of home without a full time job!
Also feeling torn about my friends, starting to realize that I just don’t have much in common with some of the girls I went to school with.
Hey Mia – I am feeling torn about genuine goodwill and silly bitching. Lately I’ve been going through a thought process where it’s really hit me how many great friends I have and that I want to make sure I’m giving enough back to them to honour all they give to me. At the same time, I’m conscious of so much bitching in the world – and I don’t mean spiteful, hate-filled bitching. I mean just off-handed insults about friends or celebrities or whoever that don’t necessarily come from a place of genuine disgust/dislike/opinion but of possibly a knee-jerk reaction or over a wine and having a laugh. (OMG is her stylist blinde!)
If you follow a hashtag topic on Twitter, it’s full of it – especially TV shows. Lots of little cheap shot remarks (and I am def guilty of it it too) at people. And my point is I don’t think it always comes down to taking the high-road. Sometimes it isnt indicative of a horrible, negative person and sometimes it comes down to a sarcastic, sceptical culture that goes for the little laugh. It’s not really in the spirit of human kindness that lots of us strive for …
meh, I’m torn – no answers. Just wondering if you or anyone else feels like they are trying to be a good fellow-human but drops into remarks or bitching sessions without malice – just for fun … and wonders how we all got to be so critical in the same age that we got all self aware …
Hi Mia,
Love your videopost
My questions are:
1. What are the things you know for sure
2. Should i still be calling it ‘baby weight’ now that my kids are of school age?
x
I got a tattoo once. If was seriously naff so after 2 years I spent thousands getting it removed and having to spend a day every 6 week travelling to Sydney to get it done. don’t do it if you feel you’ll outgrow it.
I still have a photo of it, it was big, in the middle of my back and while artistically a beautiful drawing it was so naff I don’t think I could say what it was!
I’m torn between working where I am ( 1km from home) in a work environment that is less then brilliant or moving on and having to drive up to an hr to work. Seriously great living and working in town especially with kids. Seriously fed up with work.
I am feeling torn about the fact that I have now left work and will be a stay at home mum for the next however long…I was happy about leaving work – which coincided to the lead up to baby number 2 – and have felt positive about the choice I have made, but as an over-thinker I keep wondering whether my desire to finish work was more about the job I currently had, rather than leaving the workforce generally. To be honest though – I think my day from hell with the 2 year old is colouring my view somewhat. I just need to remember to have some perspective and stop sometimes feeling that the lows are so very low and vice versa for the highs!
I am not feeling torn about anything at the moment, just waiting to see what the outcome for me will be for the round of chemo I am having at the moment, it’s like timeout from feeling torn really
I like your potty mouth comment!
……do I have another baby now or wait? do I go back to what I know or embark on a fun new career? will I be happy as a stay at home mum full time? Finally got some breathing room financially and not too sure what the next steps are…..
i was at the david jones parade today! shame i didnt see you… i was the wide eyed 20yr old who was at her first fashion show (as a spectator). Plus i was bold and wore flats, although they were marc jacobs.
Love the nail polish!! xx
I am often torn between being brave and wimping out. For example, going to a new place, confronting someone, jumping off a trapeze ledge, booking a flight, meeting strangers, talking in public, or giving constructive feedback. Usually the feeling afterwards is a great sense of accomplishment but I often stand in the middle-road wanting to turn around to a safe place. And when I do, the guilt is awful.
Honestly, I’d ask her where she wants to go. She’s the one who’s going to spend the next 7 years there, so her opinion is probably the most important. She might end up chosing a school because of something completely trivial, like the uniform being a nice colour, but at least you know where she’d rather be.
Jaye,
I’m sorry to hear your dilemma. I think if you want the ‘whole wedding thing’ then give in and give it to yourself. If wedding thing to you does mean getting married somewhere other than a registry office. For if you already know that that’s what you want it’s not like you’re worried you might worry later that you hadn’t realised you wanted it….you already do!!!
If you had chosen the registry option as a cost saving option, can I please reassure you that non-registry ceremonies can be done very cheaply too-and beautifully. Very happy to send you all my ideas/ cheat sheets on how to save costs at weddings without compromising on quality.
However please don’t feel that it wouldn’t be a real wedding in a registry office. From someone who works in the wedding industry my personal belief is that whilst weddings have come to symbolise so much and be surrounded by so much expectation what weddings are really meant to be about is two peoples love for each other. The ‘realest’ thing about your wedding will be the love you and your fiance feel for each other. This is what makes your wedding real, not if it’s on the beach, in a church, in a private garden or in a registry office.
Also, if you do decide to get married in the registry office remember you’re in excellent company…Carrie and Big anyone?
megw, I understand, (curse you mummy guilt) but give it a chance, day 2 is very early days, I am going through similar at the moment myself, my 3 year old is struggling with being ‘back’ at preschool 3 days a week now that her big sister isn’t with her (because she just started Kindy) – it’s all tears & “but I want to stay with you mummy” I am sooooo hoping it’s a short lived phase & she’ll soon return to her usual confident, content self. I know she gains so much from the social interaction and educational activities of pre-school, so it is worth it for us – trust that you will know what right for you both.
maybe that depends on your definition of “fatter than I SHOULD be”, who decides “SHOULD”? what is your “SHOULD” based on
I feel torn about how much i should trust my inituition? Is it really there or am I just wishing for something to be there…
Mia my question is what is one personal goal you really want to achieve this year? actually can i ask 2? Where is your favourite place in the world?
I’m feeling torn about trying for another baby. We have a gorgeous 4 1/2 year old, who starts Kinder tomorrow, but we have been trying since she was 1 for another child. I’m 40, turning 41 in May, and I’m torn as to keep trying until the end of the year, or just accept that we are lucky to have her and let go of the stress/hope.
Our daughter was premature and I almost died having her (major complications), so this is also an issue with another pregnancy, but not enough to put me off trying!
I need to not type/watch Tv/watch your video/listen to Hubby…
I meant to say Paula’s letters are my favourite part of many magazines. I open Madison and eagerly wait for her words. I’m sad she’s finished, and thought in her last ed letter that she was going to say she was going into Law. I hope there is more from her somewhere, soon. x
Oh, and yay for Paula. I love her ed letters. They are almost favourite. And Zo. Love her all the way. Can never have enough. xx
Family/life/work balance. I have no idea how it will all work. I want to master that this year, or win lotto.
Oh yay. Thank you for answering my questions. I love this video, and the room. xx
I’m torn about what path to take at uni. I only have one year left of my degree and have changed my major five times. It is so difficult to know what you’ll enjoy and be good at when you haven’t any real work experience. And getting work experience in the industry I’m interested in seems close to impossible!
I’m torn by the best “temporary” career to take until I save up enough money to open my own little deli/gourmet food shop.
And in the same vein…I would like to know did you find it easier combining a career in magazines (where you work for someone else) or being self employed when it came to balancing a family and life in general. What do you think the pros and cons are of each when it comes to combining motherhood.
I thought it might have been Wendy Squires…
I am torn about trying to lose weight.. again!! or still?? Or accept and be happy – not hugely overweight but fatter than I should be. The only consolation is I know I am not alone.
Hi Mia, i was going to ask the same question as Sassy. What do you think of the new show The Circle? Haven’t managed to see it yet.
2nd question is What was your wedding dress like? i do love a wedding and think trashing my dress would have been a fun thing to do and i would get to wear it again.
Also feeling torn about doing IVF or just decide on 1 child. I don’t know if my heart is in the whole IVF thing?
Also i am a hat freak have sooo many hats. Saw you at Bondi Junction with the white hat on and on your last video you had it on too. Thought the white hat must be your favorite.
I am feeling torn about my daughter being in daycare 2 days a week. First day was yesterday – no tears.
Second day was today – lots of tears, screaming for me. Having a sob in the car when I left and reversed into a car in the carpark.
Have I made the right decision? I really want to work two days a week for my sanity but not at the emotional expense of my 2yo.
hear ya completely on that one Kate, couldn’t have said it better myself and i have been feeling the same thing but unable to articulate it as well as you have..
You said you lost your wedding dress – what happened to it? What was it like? I can’t imagine you as a bride in a meringue, but I could be wrong!
am feeling torn about where to send my oldest daughter to school even though it’s not til the year after next, a catholic school (as i went to one), a public school in the next suburb where a lot of friends are going or the public school in my “zone” (both public schools are equal distance from my house) not a major dilemma i know but something i have started to give thought to…any suggestions greatly appreciated…
I’m torn about whether or not to get my first tattoo!
Which brings me to a question for you Mia, what was the tattoo you were going to get on your holidays? And what tattoo do you already have?
I am feeling torn about whether I should take a sensible job that has been offered to me, or keep applying for more exciting jobs.
My question: In your book you mention three very close girlfriends – Jo, Wendy and somebody else (whose name I have forgotten and whose name I cannot look up because I have leant MM to four friends CONSECUTIVELY!). Are two of those girlfriends actually Wendy Harmer and Paula Joye?
I understand though that obviously you gave them alias’ in the book for a REASON so revealing identities on ask Mia video is slim to none…
Hi Mia,
I hope it’s not too nosy but I was wondering how much money people who work in magazines earn? I have read somewhere before that it’s not that much??
Thanks
Am feeling torn that I want the whole wedding thing but have chosen to get married at a registery office. Can I even call it a wedding?
hi mia, would love to know your thoughts on the new show ‘the circle’ on channel 10?
I’m torn about the fact that myself and my amazingly wonderful partner of almost 10 years have this week, had two massive arguments (about nothing serious in particular), after surviving so long with only a handful of disagreements let alone two humdinger shit fights.
It’s killing me inside and I don’t know what the reason for our anger is at the moment….
I am feeling torn about… protecting myself from being hurt AGAIN vs my natural inclination to dive straight into things, put my heart out there and not hold anything back. Ys, I’m torn about a guy, what a surprise!
Mine’s not to earth shattering, but I’m feeling torn because I can’t decide between a normal wedding or eloping to Vegas!
My fiance and I got engaged in November and he’s super keen (and I was too) to head off overseas and get married in Vegas (or the Canyon, or wherever), however now reading so many wedding mags and hearing friends glow over their weddings, I can’t help but imagine a ceremony here, with our family and friends.
Being in finance, I know I could save heaps of money but going overseas, but I can’t help but justify the cost to myself. Hmmm…will need to decide soon – am tired of all the “when’s the big day” questions!
)
I am feeling torn about… baby No# 2.
Me too!
I am torn between feeling like life is idylic and I couldnt ask for more with feeling deppressed at the bloody predictability of idylic….
I would like to ask – would you or are you planning to write anything ficticious? I know you said you think your book will last for awhile as the story won’t date but I was wondering if you would write or plan to write fiction? And if so which genre?
I’m torn about going back to uni. I really want to finish my degree but do enjoy not studying quite abit. I have enrolled for this year but wish I were able to just read for pleasure instead of reading textbooks!
Hi Mia!
Love the pink nails, also love reading your blogs and never miss your words of wisdom in the Sunday Life. I’m definitely torn on what career path to take, I’m half way through an arts degree and am wondering whether to take the path of journalism as it is my passion or go into education as it offers more financial stability. I’m currently writing for an online journalist publication called News Hit and although I’m not getting paid a cent, I’m loving it more than my degree! What do you think?
I would like to ask – would you or are you planning to write fiction?
I’m torn abou going back to uni and finishing my degree or being able to spend my spare time reading something other than textbooks. I work fulltime so I’ll be studying parttime and I really want to finish my degree but at the same time kinds cant be bothered… I have enrolled though so the plan is to finish!
Also Mia…just a question concerning the magazine/media business in general…Is it really such a hard industry to get into? Is it worth even trying?
I’m feeling torn and afraid and utterly confused…about love and like and everything in between. What is it? Where do you find it? How do you know you’ve got it?
Having just gotten into a relationship…I am now unsure if this was the right move…yet do not want to sabotage any future I may have with him because of my uncertainties. Is it me? Is it my skewed view of relationships? Or is it the relationship itself? Why can I so easily choose my favourite ice cream flavour…but never a guy I’m sure I like?
I’m feeling torn because my family (husband, me and 1 year old) are moving to London for 6 months. While I know its going to be a wonderful experience, I am very sad to leave behind my dog and feel incredibly guilty to be taking my parent’s only grandchild away from them at such an exciting age.
I know this ‘problem’ makes me sound like a spoilt brat while there are people with real problems in their life, but it is what i’m torn about right now!
Feeling torn…?
Being wife, mother and business owner is tough! Getting that balance without a compromise just doesn’t exist. I’m so lucky I have a husband who is so accommodating and supportive. Got some great insight from a woman who has been doing this gig a lot longer than me,” just get on with it do what you have/want to do because that feeling never leaves you no matter how long you’ve been married or how old your children are” So when I’m feeling torn, I think of those words and it’s who ever needs me the most at the time that takes precedence. and as a result I’m feeling I’m more productive in all my roles
Sunny
x
Looking forward to the “Trash your wedding dress” post!
’twas me
Just finished watching and heard your question.. what am I feeling torn about? Working a lot in a job that is important to me, but wanting to spend more time with my boyfriend. I am getting my career straightened out by finishing uni and proving myself at work, but I also want to chillax and spend time away from the rat race. I had been in a waitressing job for a long long time, and worked lots of weekends and nights, never got to have a holiday. I would spend the odd weekend down the coast and went to the MIL’s ( before anyone says anything, she might as well be!) 50th, but that was odds and ends. I need a proper holiday to spend time with the man. =( ALSO, we didn’t get Christmas or New Years together ’cause I decided to stay in Sydney with the family and he went to Ulladulla for 2 1/2 weeks with his family. September 2010 will be my first proper holiday since January 2009, and the man isn’t coming! (Brothers wedding in Vegas!) Sorry, rambled a bit there.
Hi Mia! This post is a fabulous idea. Am I really the first one in? Goody!!
I have a journalism degree which I’ve never really used, though over the years I’ve toyed with the idea of submitting outlines / articles as a freelance writer – for mags like Cosmo, New Woman etc.
I’m wondering a couple of things –
First of all, is this a reasonable goal? I have not been published in 10 years, and even the old stuff is pretty minor. How likely is it that my work (if good enough for publication) would even be considered – surely this is the type of thing squillions of good writers dream of doing?
And secondly, how are articles paid – by the word or per piece – and what is the pay like for freelancers?
I greatly anticipate, and appreciate, your response!
Thanks Mia! Great video (and you answered my question!) =) Love coming to this site