9 words women use
I have no idea who wrote this but it came to me in an email and I could kind of relate. If by ‘kind of’ you mean totally.
(1) “Fine”
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) “Five Minutes”
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) “Nothing”
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) “Go Ahead”
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) “Loud Sigh”
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) “That’s Okay”
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) “Thanks”
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) “Whatever”
Is a woman’s way of saying, I don’t think so, and if you are smart you will do it my way.
(9) “Don’t worry about it, I got it”
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
Relate? Any you’d care to add?
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whatever! That’s so cool expression, isn’t it? Cuz when I have some problem with a guy, I just say to him “Whatever”.
And it means ‘I don’t care how much pressure you give to me’ or ‘I am just thinking about ending relationship with you, so
now I have to get ready’ kinda thing. so ….
We are so difficult….
My husband says he always knows when I am not happy when I say “right” but we did have a giggle about ” whatever” ..
“You do whatever you want to do”
that’s my husband’s favourite
My partner and I play our game consols together (yepp there is multiple), it’s a great way to spend time together and have something to bond over. We play co- op games and form strategies together to pass each level. Personally I think it’s a great way to build communication because that discuss and forming strategies then translates into our relationship. Plus it’s me getting involved in something he enjoys and understanding it, instead of smiling and nodding my head.
So true……LOVE IT!
haha my friends dad used this as part of his wedding speech a few weeks ago – was very funny! and most are pretty true!
“That’s lovely” said genuinely most times bit sometimes with a hint of sarcasm when needed. I also find that I say “that’s interesting” as well…diplomatic way of saying I don’t like something,
Yes, love this one. Use it all the time. 9yo has figured it out – she replies with ‘why not?’.
Or better yet – just bought me a box of my absolute favourite chocolates (from interstate no less!) then when I ask ‘Would you like one?’ (clearly in a tone which indicates IF YOU SAY YES I WILL ENSURE WE NEVER HAVE CHILDREN and almost in an automatic way – darn those inbred manners!) he says yes! Which I follow up with a huff, sigh and glare and mutter ‘You’re not supposed to give a gift then eat the whole thing yourseld’……. sooooooooooo passive-aggressive but seriously guys, sense the tone!!!! This isn’t exclusive to men though, as I have known some women who would have been labelled ’scabs’ when we were at school
There’s another favorite – “Don’t expect too much” – a disclaimer used at the start of a relationship, meaning “I’ll be able to play up and treat you badly, and you wont be able to do a thing about it.”
Wow, that was harsh. I will politely decline to take your advice as this was meant as a light hearted comment and I am very happy in my relationship. The judgement you passed on the type of person my partner is is way off the mark and while I could go on to explain why I really can’t be bothered justifying myself.
“does anyone want the last chocolate”: tell me you don’t want it, because you understood i wanted it! does anyone mind etc means explicitely “i want the last chocolate”, and let’s face it, it’s a bit rude
I’ve seen this before, it’s just missing a bit that I always thought was classic –
Woman says – “I’m sorry”
Woman means – “You’ll be sorry”
My mum’s favourite is dad with his “can we talk?” which means they are going to argue and he was the king of “if you don’t know i can’t tell you” unfortunately when i was a kid i pointed out to mum that “if he doesn’t tel you how can you know?” WOW that was huge fight when he told him that one. Whoopsie!! now i try to keep my mouth shut…
This isn’t one I use but it’s one hubby uses. It’s “Right” and it means that he is lost for words because I have just made a point he can’t argue against. Or, if I make a point he can’t argue against and says nothing, I’ll say it for him. It’s like the end of the argument. In favour of me, of course hehe
it’s not cultural, i’m french, and i’ve lived in different places , it’s gender related really…
i’m basially a stomach lol, so if he says chinese and i want italian, i’ll say ”no. italian please.” works good
I’m curious to know if guest is a man because I have a very hard time believing that any intelligent woman having experience with men could ever write such a thing!!! lol
My new one which is working is to calmly state: “Perhaps you might like to think carefully about what you just said to me & consider rephrasing that statement/question etc?” All combined with a piercing death stare and possibly a sighed “Right” at the end of his rephrased statement which means “You are a complete idiot & I look forward to the kids hitting 18 & moving out so I can too”. Okay its long-winded but I have a law degree go figure!!!! LOL
Perhaps you could quote Kris2040 and tell him to “Get F#cked”. hahah I’m wary of any grown man who plays xbox or any other bloody kids game…..it means they don’t mentally have to grow up….perhaps that’s harsh. BUT anyone whose blaming you for petty rubbish has some serious issues, and they don’t go away unless that person actively acknowledges they are a twot & begins reflecting on their behaviour and then making changes. Trust me it only gets worse as the relationship deepens, and kids come along and marriage. You can’t run away from stuff as easily as when you are unburdened.
What is that thing about Mars and Venus?
haha so true.
No. All women are wired this way.
I find that full of pathos.
Why not just ask: “Does anyone mind if I have the last chocolate”?
To ask it the other way could be inferred as meaning: “I want the last one, I know I should not, but I want you to convince me to have it, and clean up the plate.”
As a mother, my favourite is ‘we’ll see’. It means no.
haha ditto Peanut!
This is hilarious, can’t wait to show my boyfriend, he can’t stand it when I am upset andhe asks whats wrong and I say “Nothing!”
We have that one in reverse – I am the messy one. My husband often makes statement like that: ‘There’s lots of your clothes on the floor’. I reply – ‘Yes, there are!’. He then does a big ‘SIGH’.
I reckon it would be doubly as bad with a chick! So kinda stuck, really…
It’s really weird for me. I DON’T tend to use these kind of phrases much. I seem to be the bloke in most of my relationships! It’s always ME asking “What’s wrong?” and being told “Well if you don’t know what you’ve done, I’m not going to tell you” and stuff that is usually whinged about by guys! I’m always whinging that apparently I am meant to be a mind reader.
I will admit to using “Fine” in that context though. Cos I am usually right.
Very odd, but I am a strong and scary (for some unknown reason) chick, so maybe even though the blokes I go for (and attract) are usually big footy bloke types, they all do this subtle crap that I just don’t get. If you have something to say, say it, have it out and move on! Don’t be such a (sorry – girl) about it! No offence girls! LOL
Why? I’d just say Get F**ked. LOL!
Thats hilarious squeak! I might try that.
LOL! I talk to my best mate’s 16 year old on fb. What you been up to? Nothin. How are you? OK Got anything cool coming up? No.
Very true! Also, am I the only one that gets blamed for him stuffing up whatever he was doing (playing xbox, bidding on ebay, cutting wood up) because I interupted (read: did anything like talk or move remotely close to him) at the “exact crucial moment”?! He gets quite annoyed at me when this happens (!) but always comes sucking back up after when he realises that he stuffs things up pretty good by himself and was being a right tool earlier!
Where did Tim go, I wonder… computer gremlins or Foot in Mouth?!
This is a great, light hearted post which is nice considering there’ve been a few ‘heavy’ topics lately… glad mostly everyone is getting a laugh out of this… Happy weekend, all xx
Love it ! So true, so true.
If you read it again, you’ll notice that Mia had said “I am” rather than describing all women that way.
I think this is brilliant and very true.
But to add… my mother (who is 72 years old) told me recently that “whatever” actually means “Get F**ked”.
Now I’m a little more hesitant to say whatever.
9 PHRASES MEN USE
1) I’ll do it in five minutes- means I’ll fall asleep on the couch and I know you’ll do it.
2) I’ll do it tommorrow- I’ll never do it. You end up hiring a tradesman even though I am one or get our dad to do it.
3) Yes Dear- I’m not listening but I think yes will be the right answer.
4) Eh- may mean either yes, no, ok or maybe depending on the intonation. In some communities this is the only word required for men to communicate with each other.
5) I have a meeting after work- I will be getting drunk with the boys. Calling it a meeting means means I don’t have to pick the kids up from child care.
6) I love you dear- I am in trouble and want to make peace so I get laid tonight.
7) I’ve got to have a shower- means the baby needs a nappy change and I want to avoid doing it
9) I’ll be home after one more beer- I’ll be home at 2am and wake you up to discuss the evenings events
Tim, I suspect you’ll be deleted any minute, as you’ve gone WAY too far, but I thought I’d jump in and get this to you first.
You have been horrible to all these lovely women tonight for NO reason, you’ve just come in shit-stirring to amuse yourself.
Ask yourself: Why am I on Mamamia in the first place? A blog FOR women, by women. WHY??? Everyone is welcome, men included, but you coming here to criticise and mock us makes as much sense as me going to a blog for Blokes Who Love Bikes, and mocking them. They’d have every right to tell me to fuck off.
As for the Mia love, well, again Tim, this is MIA’S SITE, so people who frequent it tend to love Mia, just as people who come to my blog like me, and people who go to Biker Blokes Blog like them.
And let me tell you, as someone who has had the priviledge of getting to know Mia, she is an outstanding human being, one of the absolute best, and she deserves all the love she is given, and more.
So please stop. It’s enough.
The rude version works better everytime.
You just proved my point. In the question ‘Are you sure that’s the reason he thinks you’re a dickhead’, I ask why ‘he’ (your husband) ‘thinks’ (harbours the opinion that you’re a dickhead). Never do I say you’re a dickhead.
I ask if there might be other explanations for the husband reaching his unique opinion.
OK time to go home, done work, good night all, beers await.
I’m glad to help forge a BFF relationship between Bec and Clarinette…two girls who bonded under the oppression of male opinion and encouraged each other to be the best commenters they could be!
BugMum! Where are you?!
not you clarinette….you’re great!
ok, ok….:(
(Loud Sigh)
i want to make a blow me joke but i can’t, unfortunately….well ifyou say you’re not calling her a dickhead or being insulting to her in any way, can i also back out of all my comments by saying i didn’t type then? oh, no look, here comes a quoted for truth!!!
Tim Mc intyre said:” Are you sure that’s the reason he thinks you’re a dickhead? Maybe you should come up with a fresh comment and make us all piss ourselves some more (luckily I left the seat up for easier access)”
quoted for truth.
I had to laugh. I have been hearing the “fine”, “nothing” and “whatever” responses quite a lot lately – from my 14 year old son!
I didn’t call her a dickhead, her husband did. Thanks for soothing me down Bec, I was angry and stressed before that. I don’t think you’re a dickhead, just easily amused. Clarinette, I like you too, I’ve always been a fan of musical instruments.
now now, bec, don’t go soothing him down…xD
you’re not answering? did your boss remind you that your job title isn’t “mamamia commenter”?
come on Timmy sense of humour…don’t talk about women making personal shots when you’re taking one…have a smile, have a laugh, it’s the weekend now!
i live on the other side of the planet and just got up xD how was calling her subtely a “dickhead” unpersonnal?
No, my work buddies don’t. Funny how you gals start taking personal shots as soon as you run out of witty remarks. I’m at work on a friday night, what’s your excuse for commenting on a blog site at this time of the week?
looks like someone’s in a good mood today! do your work buddies give you a hard time?
Are you sure that’s the reason he thinks you’re a dickhead? Maybe you should come up with a fresh comment and make us all piss ourselves some more (luckily I left the seat up for easier access)
treating…love me, love my typos!
how is that winning? xD
haha bec, laugh away, it was awesomeness…
Everyone is so deep on this site. It’s so helpful that you can all explain to me what is meant by the posts and everything. Hugs to everyone!
Seriously though, I know it’s a frivolous post, I just think it’s unfunny. I thought I’d add a bit of negativity to all the kissing of Mia’s arse that goes on here.
it’s funny as it is like men and women have never met a person of the opposite sex before, whatever their age….i know i can’t say exactly what i mean. I CAN do it, but i know how i would react if someone did it to me. if i said to my sister “yes, i am upset right now because i feel you’re treaing me like an inferior being”, it would shock her into defense mode. so i say “i’m ok….” and she asks “what is it then? ” and is caring enough that we can discuss it without fighting. that’s why we do the same with men, we forget that they are deaf to clues. but it’s hard to force yourself to be aggressive enough to make your point loud and clear for them to understand. for one i don’t want to be so obvious about it that he has no choice but to deal with it (he should care enough to take the initiative) and second: i don’t want to spell everything out like i’m talking to a retarded person, because i don’t want to base all our communication on the fact that the man i love is too retarded to take a hint. no way out , i guess…
bah hahaha, just read it again. My hubby thinks I’m a dickhead from laughing everytime I read my own comment.
I’m still cracking myself up over myself….
yeah girls answer that…why are we straight again?
….what man grows up? what are you talking about? ” a feeling, thinking, human being capable of being in a relationship based on mutual love and respect.” can i live on your planet?
ps: toilet seats up is not cool, but it’s way better than not lifting it at all and slip sliding away from the toilet to the toilets floor , ass covered in male urine…i’d take toilet seat up any day xD
just my 2 cents: nothing of the above is meant to make anyone shit themselves…it’s just a different way of communicating emotions.if your wife never sighs or says “whatever” at you it only means that you have never said something she judges as so moronic there’s no way of making you understand her point.So it looks like you guys can still discuss your issues without making it personal, which is good….but women have a tendency to think a lot, “overthink” as men say, which is why they are most of the time at the initiative of a break up. Because when a woman starts not trying to argue with you anymore, it means she’s given up on you and you’re on your way out, you just don’t know it yet…
I say ‘Please’ when I ask my boyfriend for something. He never does. I win.
oh sorry I mis read,1 toddler who licks toilet seats…. tell me the secret of teaching my toddler a bit of toilet love!!
2 people who have toddlers that lck toilet seats??? Seriousy??? I have enough trouble getting mine to sit on it!!
to the curb! If I was shitting myself it would probably be from being crook in the guts
Ha ha hilarious. Phew!! Thank god I’m not otherwise you’d ‘girl power’ my sorry arse t
OK fine. i don’t have a toddler who licks toilet seats, so we’ll have to agree to disagree. As far as seeing the rim goes, providing you clean it regularly (which I do) you will just be looking at a clean piece of porcelain…no biggie right?
I would like to add something to the arguement about the toilet seat – it is not just about the fact that I prefer to use it when the seat is down but that I do not want to see the rim of the toilet when I walk into the bathroom…nor would I want my guests to see it and most importantly,I do want my toddler licking it or putting her hands on it when she is trying to use the loo!! I personally can see no arguement at all for leaving it up as it hardly an inconvenience to put it up or down!
“why is it ‘the wrong way’ to leave it up?” because you bruise your bum if the seat is left up and you don’t see it in the middle of the night.
You’d be shitting yourself if you were living in my household buddy.
Tim, this s just a funny post, funny to a lot of women because most of us have used one or two of the above, proberbly not in our finest hour but to read that other women have done the same is funny. and a relief. my husband and i have a very respectful relationship but when it comes to who gets the remote when there is a clash – SATC or the footie… let me tell you, its a bun fight!
Haha Sarah, so true. “does anyone want the last chocolate?” ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS traslates to “I actually want the last chocolate, otherwise why on earth would I be asking the question? I have obviously observed that there is one left and have set my heart on consuming said foodstuff. ths question is being asked out of courtesy so I don’t look like a pig, and your expected response is NO”
and I hate it when someone says, “yes i would” and TAKES IT. bastard.
lol.
‘Fine’ is known as the new “F” word in our house.
No, that’s not just you. I think everyone does that. I actually have a couple of friends who respond to “I’m fine” with “So what happened?”
I no longer give loud sighs. I just say “Sigh!” loudly.
Tara some thoughts are best left unsaid lol
I’m a fan of the questions that only have one obvious answer and are only being asked so the woman can validate the decision she’s already made! Girlfriends are excellent at giving the correct answer, boys… sometimes need to work on this.
For example: ‘Should I buy this?’ (YES) ‘Do I look okay?’ (YES or alternatively ‘of course you look better than aphrodite, angelina and jessica alba combined’) ‘do you want the last tim tam’ (NO honey you take it)
I’d be happy to, as we all know there is no emails circulating through men that women would find offensive.
you have just spelt out my entire vocab and probably the reason why my husband left me…’Loud Sigh’
I use number 6 and number 9 all too regularly!!
oh yeah, said that a few million times. I’d also add “It doesn’t matter”, Which usually means it does matter. Very Much.
Maybe no one sends you those emails Guest 11:23am because you have no freaking sense of humour;)
Are you serious????? I believe the phrase in your case is ‘lighten up”.
Oh, that is good. I’ll have to remember that line…
Claystep – Definitely dinner, not sex. Though am intrigued by what flashed through your mind when you thought of Chinese or Italian sex…but maybe that’s a post for another day
There are quite a few of these emails that circulate from time to time most commonly around teenagers. I have not recieved one since I myself was in high school. I think it is kind of ok for teenagers in high school relationships to pass these on and take them to heart but I think that any grown adult woman who still conducts her romantic relationships in this manner is only robbing herself of the intimate relationship she could be having with a man if she was to only realise that he is not a teenage boy but a feeling, thinking, human being capable of being in a relationship based on mutual love and respect.
In short I believe the phrase is Grow Up.
When of course, you are anything BUT fine and are actually just wanting him to try harder to work out why you’re upset (because you shouldn’t have to tell him). Or is that just me?
sorry not having a good day should have replied to An Idle Dad and my apologies Kerri for adding an ‘e’
Haha classic!!!
I also love a bit of “You should know why I’m upset” meaning “duh how dumb can you be I’m mad at you because you did something small and insignificant and I’m so irrational and irrate that I’m going to punish you for it but not let you know why you are in trouble.” Poor men…they really cop it sometimes (but then again we do too!!!)
I am laughing so hard. This is hilarious and I use all these phrases (except # 4). Husband will read, laugh and nod to agree.
This biggest thing we laugh about is when I make ’statements’ rather than actually ‘asking’ him to do something. Like ‘the rubbish bin is fullt’ or ‘the prams should be moved out of the hallway’ or ‘there are lot of your clothes on the floor on your side of the bed’.
Does he really not understand that I am ASKING him to do these things? I just don’t want to ‘ask’ because then I’m nagging! Actually, let me re-phrase, I just want to him to notice these things himself, I don’t even want to think about them.
For me ‘fine’ isn’t used to end an argument. I use it as an answer when he asks ‘is everything okay?’. My response is generally ‘I’m fine!’
Agree, to me, this email is completely taking piss out of women. My husband will find it hilarious BECAUSE it does.
You confused me for a moment, I thought you were replying to Tara and with a loud sigh thought she is talking about dinner not sex, then I wondered what Chinese was or Italian … and then I scrolled up and saw Kerrie’s post …ooops lol
“What was that?” said in a very innocent ‘I didn’t hear what you said’ tone but really meaning I am giving you an opportunity to stop and think about what you just asked and perhaps you might not want to ask it again. This usually is reserved for the phone call saying the fifth person in the office for the week is leaving so we have to have farewell drinks after work. Or perhaps the casual ‘I’m off to Bunnings’ not noticing that three little Bugs are running riot and the fact you are about to just blithely slip out the door may irk me.
If Mr Bug continues along his original path he will usually be met with the loud sigh and perhaps a whatever. this usually results in a discussion later where I will declare nothing is wrong.
or
F reaked-out
if you don’t like the rude version…
haha, I love this! Will have to show it to my partner so he knows that fine isn’t really fine!
What FINE really means:
F ucked-up
I nsecure
N eurotic
E motional
So yeah, I’m just FINE honey!
Another one: “Do whatever the F@#k you want-I am not your mother, you don’t have to ask permission! ” = You better not unless it is worth sleeping on the couch for the next week.
ha ha, Love it, so true!
I actually thought it was more about women then men.. ways we communicate (or not communicate, as it were)… feeling a bit sensitive ?
#s 1, 3 & 8 are me all over. I’ve been with my fella for only a few months and he’s already fluent in all of them.
Oh dear…
Oh dear… I think Jane was Joking kids….
Actually yes, you have!
Fairly sure she wasn’t being snarky.
Hmmmmm…..been there.
Can you please describe exactly how you ensure he is aware of the enormous sacrifice you are making during actual sex? There has to be a blog there somewhere.
I relate. Mr Abam gets most alarmed when I raise my eyebrows and don’t respond (often with pursed lips too). I find myself unable to stop doing this. Oh dear……
It’s usually the facial expressions & body language that accompany these expressions that tell us men what they REALLY mean …
I use that one for even simple things…like if I ask “What do you feel like for dinner” and he says “Chinese” and really his answer should have been Italian I counter with “Okay, if that’s what you really want” – which clearly means that he got it wrong and should have intuitively known that I wanted Italian and is therefore a disappointment as a husband.
I think we inherit these sayings right along with our XX chromosomes.
I say these things without even realising it! and i wonder why my partner doesn’t know what i mean…
where did i pick it up? maybe i learned it from my mum…
My mum has practically patented the “meaningless sigh” — easily confused with the “long, meaningful sigh”.
I don’t use most of these, but I do think women (including me) very often use #3 (drives my bf MAD!), and sometimes #9.
It’s funny how often something that would be patently obvious to other women is mysterious to many men — they still seem to take lots of things at face value and don’t get the undercurrent. Thankfully I am a literal person and pretty much always say what I mean — my sister has previously found me to be exasperating because I answer the exact question that was asked!
“Okay, if you really want to” – means “I will do it, but under extreme sufferance, and I will ensure you are aware at all times the enormous sacrifice I am making”. Used frequently for sex. Or nights out with his friends.
Don’t agree with them all. Mine is “nothing” when there’s something wrong. I think fiance has read this because every time I do a loud sigh he jumps on me with “what’s wrong”. What’s wrong is that I have asthma, the loud sigh helps me breathe…I don’t think he gets that
Lol. I think this really takes the piss out of women more than men. I am TOTALLY irrational, manipulative and wilful sometimes. And that’s totally a judgement (of myself).
Just sent to my husband to read, hoping he understands it is not a joke – my fav is ‘and’ meaning find a better excuse
Geez – lighten up.
Ha- my friend and I use “fine” when we really mean “coping, but only just”
What about:
“Really?” – often used as a way of communicating disbelief at something done or said by a stupid person. One example is when a person ‘forgets’ to fill up the ice cube trays afte just using them all and puting them back in the freezer – Really? (said here with hands held up and a questionable look of disbelief on ones face) – this may also be followed with a LOUD SIGH
File my comment under judgemental, not opinion as per your genuinely excellent previous blog!
I sent this to Mr beloved Partner so he can have a laugh. I use them all and mostly in the same way.
Maybe its a learned cultural thing.
Really Mia? Women are all irrational, manipulative and wilful? With the corresponding assumption that men are all lazy and stupid? I love your work, but this is a little out of character isn’t it?
Or have I just become one of those humourless overly politically correct wingnuts always searching for something to be offended by? *facepalm*
Snap! Can you post every ten year old email you get that describes men as stupid? That would be awesome!
Yeah, I love this email. I posted it on my website two years ago and it was very popular on StumbleUpon. Gee, I wonder why…
I think no.5 was written just for me, lol!!
Haha I saw every single of those phrases with identical meanings. We are terrible sometimes!
So. Very. True.
Ha Ha! That’s brilliant cause it’s so true! Pity the poor guys out there who are always trying to interpret our double meanings!