Mitchell Johnson’s mother seems to be confusing herself with his girlfriend, Jessica Bratich.
The happy couple in this picture are Australian cricketer Mitchell Johnson and his girlfriend, karate champion Jessica Bratich. Not pictured, is Mitchell's mother. And evidently, she would like to be in this photo, sandwiched riiiight in the middle of her son and his girlfriend. In an interview with the Herald Sun that she will no doubt come to regret immediately, Vikki Harber says her son has been 'stolen' from her by Jessica and slams Cricket Australia for flying over 'bitchy' girlfriends more interested in self-promotion than supporting their partners. Yikes…….
The Herald Sun reports…..
On
the eve of the Ashes series in England, Vikki Harber also slammed
Cricket Australia for turning its back on parents in favour of flying
over "bitchy" girlfriends more interested in self-promotion than
supporting their partners.
Ms Harber, 45, told the Herald Sun her once close relationship with her son had deteriorated since he started going out with Ms Bratich. "I get a text on Mother's Day and a text on my birthday," she said..
"The last time I actually spoke to him was when the beach cricket
was here (and) Dennis Lillee told him he had to ring his mother, so
Mitchell rang me that day. "It has been like this since Jess came on the scene. "Up until he met Jessica we were very close . . . but he hasn't spent a night under my roof since he met Jessica."
Ms Harber said Cricket Australia had never offered her the opportunity to see her son play outside Brisbane.
"For
the wives and the children I think it is great that they support them
and send the over there, but who are these girlfriends? They are just
girlfriends," Ms Harber said from Coolangatta.
"Mitch met
Jess and since then she has flown off to South Africa, to England and
the Bahamas. She gets all these trips, she gets flown there,
accommodation, food and all of that." Cricket sources said players decide who to invite on tour.
Johnson's manager Sam Halvosen said the gun bowler was aware of his mother's comments but did not want to discuss them.
I bet he didn't! This story is a cracker because it covers so many things. Namely mother-in-laws and the relationships between mothers and sons. My own mother-in-law has always been respectful and mindful of which lines to cross and has never crossed them. We get along famously. But I've dated guys in the past whose mothers are less mothers more….defacto partners. In their own eyes anyway.
It's quite heart-breaking this story – once you stop laughing or cringing behind your hands. That, and willing the poor Mum to stem her verbal flow of bitter emotion TO A JOURNALIST when it's clearly not going to improve her relationship with her son or her possible future daughter-in-law.
Hard to imagine the wedding speech. "Oh, remember that time when I called Jess a bitch in the newspaper! Hahaha! They were good times, weren' they?"
Playing Dr Phil for just a moment, I've noticed the whole mother-confusing-her-son-with-a-husband syndrome is more prevalent when the mum is single (or in an unhappy relationship). We all like to think that our sons are The Perfect Man – created in our image. And perhaps this is even more true when you're single…..
Funnily enough, just the other day, Luca, who is 11, asked me when I thought he should leave home. I said "45". And then I tried not to cry at the though that one day? He will love another woman more than me……
EARLIER….
- FROCKWATCH: Jess Bratich in THAT dress and THOSE undies + more cricket WAGS
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Are we creating a nation of mummy’s boys? And is that a bad thing?
i think you’re all very inconsiderate of MJ’s MIL, she raised him for over 20 yrs and created him, and all she gets is a text 2 times a yr, disgraceful. GF’s need to look outside their self and consider this
There is no excuse for this, the mother is so wrong for speaking out in this way.
She has just given him the perfect excuse to distance himself even more …
It’s so hard being a single parent with one child. Usually you devote yourself & your life to ensuring they get a great life … and it looks like she has done a great job, surely she has been a big part of Mitchell’s success, I can understand how she would be feeling bitter.
No excuse tho, in a perfect world she should be happy that her son is happy & get on with her own life – something that must be hard for her to do after she has probably put her life on hold for 20+ years to help her son to achieve his dreams.
Parenting is often such a thankless job – that’s why it so important to find a balance between their life and your own life.
There is a article written by Lisa Pryor, (Sydney Morning Herald, news review, page 7) on this matter, worth reading, love to all ooxx
I feel like some Mums just don’t know how to cut the umbilical cord and let their son start a life of their own. You marry you partner not your mother.
Simone you are right,love ooxx
Having posted on this subject early on I have only just got to reading the remainder of the comments.
Woolywally I can see how you’re having a good relationship with your MIL can make it hard for you to understand what others are going through. The unfortunate reality with all types of relationships is that some people are just not capable of a loving and caring relationship. Having a MIL & SIL from hell I can totally relate to the majority of the comments. Right from the start of the relationship both the MIL & SIL would make bitchy comments about me, roll their eyes whenever I said anything, told aquaintences that “everyone in the family hated me” and the piece de resistance was talking about how my husband could do much better than me – on our wedding day – while getting there make up done by a dear friend of mine – and I was paying for it!! I made every effort to get to know my in laws and to include them in our life but nothing was ever good enough.
So while I appreciate some of the comments that woolywally made, I would ask her to please be mindful that not everyones life is sweetness & roses and no matter how much you try to offer a piece of your heart to people it does not mean that they are open to accepting it.
Just read ALL of the comments, the other day I jsut read Mia’s part, and posted.
Good on you wollywally xo Stick around, it’s great to hear how people from other cultural backgorunds view things.
I was talking about sons and mothers with my son and our counsellor this morning. Didn’t even think of this case (my own is hard enough, thank you).
She said that she sees a lot of mums who are struggling to let their sons grow up, and almost as many sons who struggle with their relationships with partners, because they don’t know how to be in an adult relationship, as the apron strings were never cut.
I have a friend whose partner is like that.
I can trump you all – my MIL once asked to be paid to babysit! She had only ever done it once or twice before as she can be very negative, so we thought we would do the right thing and ask her if she was free. At the end of the night she told us her hourly rate! Never again!
Meredith@thinkthinks – that’s HILARIOUS
after watching ACA, i can’t help but wonder – did she really think going on tv and calling her son’s fiance a gold digging bitch was going to help? seriously?
Lu I did see it – she has done herself such a disservice. She has come out of it looking like a complete eedjit.
Is anyone else envisioning a Telstra ad, with Dennis Lillee handing Johnson a phone saying “Call your mum”? At least the poor guy could get some sponsorship dollars out of it.
Did anyone watch her on ACA last night ? It went from bad to worse. This poor woman clearly needs a Psychiatrist. On his Australian Cricketers salary though he could have at least paid for his mum to have some dental implants.
Both of my brothers treated my mum like this BEFORE they had partners. They NEVER ring her,unless i’ve posted a happy birthday on Facebook! Some guys just don’t do the whole communication thing…it doesn’t mean they don’t love her anymore. My mother sucked it up & moved on.
You cannot, as a parent, be responsible for the decisions (no matter how stupid they may seem to us)that our kids make. We birth them, nurture them, grow them up the best we know how & then have to let them go to make their own way.
Mitchell’s mum is soooooo going to regret taking this course instead of picking up the phone to her son. Shocker.
You know, I don’t know much about relationships with a spouse’s mother, but this guys mother made herself sound like the bitchy one.
This is sad. She wants desperately to produce a response from her son.
All she needs to know is that he still loves her.
I think it must be hard to be a MIL. My mum and I were discussing it recently about how it’s different for her to MIL to my husband compared to my brother’s wife.
She takes care to ensure she doesn’t overstep or try to take her mothers place. Even though its generally agreed upon that SIL’s mother is a bloody idiot (much like Mitchell’s mum seems to be).
Definitely a lesson in how not to handle your private relationships.
I don’t agree with the mother going to the media about this – she’s caused far more problems by her behaviour…but what if half of what she says is true & the girlfriend is just a gold digger What do you do….it must be difficult to bite your tongue and say nothing. I’m glad I only have daughters so don’t have to cope with this particular issue:) Seems many mothers get a bit too tied up with their son’s lives & the girlfriends & wives suffer because of it.
Errrrrrrrr…………… right. My son (who technically lives at home) sees me bugger-all since he got a serious girlfriend. I get a message for Mother’s Day, and my birthday. And I am ok with that.
It’s called growing up, and it’s what they are supposed to do. Get over yourself, and stop bitching to journalists, because you are doing your relationship with your son (son, NOT husband) major harm.
Sally, when dealing with any in-law, it is your husband who is responsible for stepping in when in-laws get rude. If my sister said anything like that to my then fiance, I would tell her in no uncertain terms where my loyalty lies – with my life partner! He should have had a talk with her and asked her to apologise.
I never had too many problems with my BIL, but on occasions he WAS rude and each time I left it to DH to have a chat with him. After all, his main priority should be you and children, if any.
This is hilariously embarrassing for Mitchell’s mum and for Jessica – one I’m sure will cost thousands at her therapist… but to be honest, I have always had more trouble with my husband’s sisters than with his mum. Sisters-in-law can be incredibly, heartbreakingly, gut-wrenchingly cruel… and they can make snippy, snide comments out of earshot. My husband’s sister told me that she ‘didn’t want me in her fucking family’ on the night we were engaged. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with evil sisters-in-law?
@Mia – AGREE emphatically with EVERYTHING you said in your post.
Poor Mitchell. It would be hard enough having a strained relationship with your mother, without it being broadcast all over the country.
I had my own MIL dramas after the birth of our first child. It took years to repair the damage and neither one of us went to the media with our disagreement.
I can’t imagine how mortified both Mitchell and Jessica are, hopefully they have other family and friends that are supporting them.
Very, very classy of them both not to comment publicly.
Mia, I’m with you. A discussion and even a debate is healthy, but to resort to insults and attacks when you dont agree with someone is not on and not why we come here.
Very nice wollywally, very nice indeed!
I’m very grateful to have an awesome mother in law myself. She spent the first half of this week with all her grandchildren in a three night camp over at her place.
My boys had a fantastic time whilst I enjoyed some freedom!! She rocks.
Its a horrible situation and not the way to solve the issues at hand. I have been in a much worse situation with my in laws due to my husbands mum being jealous. It is 6 years on and her issues with me and my husband have caused so many relationship break downs in the family. It didn’t do what she intended, to break us up, all it did was divide her and him more.
As a mother it is our role to raise our children into fine adults so that they can go out into the world and have their own individual life. Yes it would be great to remain close in a respectful adult way, as an equal.
This man is doing only what she once hoped for for him, succeeding. If she has issues with how close they are now it is up to her to talk to him about it, like an adult.
I find no humor in this situation, what class of person would discuss their problems like this and cause such hurt for her son and daughter in law. It is hurtful when you are not accepted by your in laws and with it being so public.
I feel sad for all involved as I know from experience that this will go deeper and further. It wih effect this mothers relationship with her son and inlaws and one day grandchildren.
My advice to her would be say sorry as many times as you have too and say nothing further. Fix this now as much as you can.
Analyse This one girls….and fellas
My MIL still praises my husband’s ex wife to me, telling just how talented she is…and also makes little quips about how well she looks etc.
Now, my husband’s first wife left him after looking for greener and richer pastures and has now remarried. My MIL loves her son deeply, and knows her ex DIL hurt her son. But when she learned we were going out together, she tried to rally the ex wife’s parents to start lobbying to get them back together again…to preserve the dignity of the family. UGH!
The last time she started gabbing on about the ex, I just said it was time to let go now…and remember what she originally did to her golden haired boy.
Thanks for your comment Mia, the vibe of the comments on this blog has gone sour in recent times – I always enjoyed the respectful exchange of opinions here but its gotten quite immature and nasty lately!
And the MIL? I can’t imagine what went through her head that to talk to the media about her son’s girlfriend would be a good idea. I saw a promo today that she’s also on ACA tonight just to fuel it a little more
She’s not unusual, just has a mouth bigger than her brain. What an enormous risk – in fact I don’t think it’s a risk because the dark deed has been done and recovery is unlikely -and the risk is that she’ll never be able to be as close as she’d like with what undoubtedly will be just BEAUTIFUL brunette grandchildren. You bring your loved-to-bits kids up then have to give them away – payback is the next forty years – you get love back or, like many woman I meet, nothing.
By the way, BlogerLeah, I SO agree with your comments about the 3 factors impacting on MIL / DIL relations. Really struck a chord with me, and I can take responsibility for a couple of those myself… I’m so glad I worked on my relationship with my MIL but still maintained appropriate boundaries for my own sanity.
Hmmm. I think I shall refrain from commenting.If I want aggro, I only have to go into the loungeroom……
Very classy of him to refuse to comment. I can’t imagine how hard she must be to wrangle in private if this is what she is willing to do in public.
And wollywally? I love reading your comments – the way you spell gives me an idea of how you speak. I bet you have one of those lovely, musical voices.
Wollywally good on you, I think a little Italian family loving is what a lot of us need right now…..red wine anyone ?
Let’s cut wollywally a little slack here. She has already explained that English is not her first language. How would it be for us to have to comment in Russian, Mandarin or even Italian?
Or German, although Cerry would be OK with that. I’d be..
Das is nicht gut! Sie sind nicht klüger. Du bist ein dumkopf!
I reckon wollywally is doing just great.
Ugh, scary mother. Sounds like she’s jealous she’s not the one going on the road.
It reminds me of the dose of unhealthy mother and son relationship in “North and South” by Elizabeth Gaskell.
I have three brothers and thank god my mother has never exhibited any of these tendencies in the slightest.
MIss Manly in the last few days, I notice that you do not seems happy, any troble ? stress? PMT? full moon? even tough today is raining, and if you do really live in Manly, get an umbrella ,put on your gumboot, and go for a walk in the beach, the smells of the ocean, and the noise of the vawes, are wonderfull, and calm the mind and recharge the spirit, and after that good hot chocolate, wish I can be with you to enjoy all of this, love ooxx
I think there is a lot of truth in what you are saying Wollywally and it can’t have been easy moving to a new country.
Unfortunately some MIL’s are difficult and I for one came across this when I first started dating my husband. Somehow I was to blame for every decision he had ever made. It was my fault he moved to the city even though he did this 5 years before meeting me. I was accused of being a snob because I wanted my bridal registry at DJ’s..The list goes on and on.
Not long after we were married my MIL accused me of saying something I hadn’t and that’s when I put my foot down and told my husband to sort it out. That was 9 years ago and we have a good relationship now, it’s not perfect and we are very different people but we try.
Wow, she has clearly lost the plot. I mean sure, it is not uncommon for mothers to have this problem with their sons, but to take it further..to take it out into the public? Thats a whole other level.
It will most likely create MORE resistance between the 3 of them than there was before.
Oops. I bet she’ll regret this.
Miss Manly, as I miself been trough all the you describe above ( two mastitis), I can tell you, that what we need is womens with experience in the matter, not necessary our mothers, if that happen is a bonus, I did not have my mother this do to with logistic,(Italy is not around the corner), I did relay on my MIL (she had 4 kids), and wonderfull wonderfull local nurse, and I suvived, as I say before, if we like to have armonious relationship, we do have to make an effort, family relationship can be hard job sometimes I can tell you because I married into a completely different culture ,and family menbers do make mistakes and do hurt us, I personally forgive, and I tray to give the olive brunch, because in the end I am the one benefitting the most,holding grudges is bad for ones health, flexibily of caracter in life give pace and happines, while
having inflexible one the opposite, and by the way in lots of cultures to keep in touch dayly with by phone or other is normal, I personally would not care if my MIL did this, she would be welcome, love to all ooxx
I’ve read all the comments and agree with most – that it’s incredibly embarrasing for all involved, not to mention inappropriate on behalf of the mother.
I may have missed it, but nobody seems to have mentioned that they are actually engaged – so for Mitchell’s mother to be slamming Jess as ‘just a girlfriend’ takes on even more significance….she’s failing to acknowledge the status of their relationship.
I think she needs to grow up and get over it. I have to take her comments about the text on her birthday with a grain of salt because of how she has behaved by speaking with a journalist, and how ridiculous all of the rest of her comments are!
He must be absolutely mortified, and Jessica must be furious!
Unless Jessica is has bound and gagged Mitchell and is threatening his life with a karate chop it is Mitchell Mum should have an issue with….
Charlie, you say yourself, you just do not love your MIL, if you did, you wouldn’t have the problems you have, love to you ooxx
Lisa T that poem is beatifull, how about this
clinging narrow the heart,
giving broadens it,
clinging paralyse the heart,
giving liberates it,
clinging dakenes the heart,
giving brightens it.
love to all ooxx
Wollywally, are you trying to say that we are not supposed to choose our own mum over MIL? Well, I love my mum and don’t love MIL. She is my husband’s mother and all that, but to love a strange old woman you really need to have grown with her. I have not. I have tender memories of my mother, memories of her young and beautiful, memories of cuddling up to her etc etc. Sorry, but she is my flesh and blood and MIL is a stranger who came attached to my husband.
I can totally relate to the story. My MIL told me many a times that I stole her son, albeit worded differently, such as “I used to have a close and loving relationship with my boy, and now I have lost it”. “Close and loving” to her was telephone calls 5 times a day and showing up unannounced whenever she wanted and demanding a loving welcome. Due to such unrealistic demands, the relationship is now cold and distant between us, as my pleas to give us space fell on deaf ears, only the complete breakdown of the relationship stopped that emotional blackmail.
My mother in law wonders why she doesn’t get visits or asked to babysit as much as she would like?
Answer:
When we visit she makes comments “Won’t it be wonderful when (our two year old) is toilet trained?”
“She doesn’t know her numbers/colours etc very well” (She is, I repeat, 2!!!)
When babysitting in our home so baby can go to sleep in own bed:
“This house is a disgrace”
Once she called every night for a week which to me is overstepping the mark. Phone ended up “accidentally” off the hook.
So yes, this Vikki has publicly embarrassed herself and should have known better!
I must be daughter in law from hell!, have you tried to knock on the door instead, and go for a unannounced visit? and out of curiosity was she willing to help you with the baby? I could be wrong, I have this gut feeling, that she feel you choose your mom over her, and her help was not good enough, anyway good luck with this,love ooxx
Sounds like a big dose of sour grapes to me. Why SHOULD Cricket Australia pick up the tab, for family members to travel with the players? I’m sure Mitchell Johnson is very happy, he’s on the other side of the world. What a Beeaatch!….PS Mitch, keep your phone turned off…..
I’ve never been one of those women that had to have a son. I wanted to be a mum and was happy with a healthy child. But I know some women who kept going until they had a son – or stopped and are disappointed about not having a son. I see mums who play obvious favourites with their sons over their daughters and I just dont get it.
Am I weird?
After reading the comments and thinking about this a little more, I think my Mum could have these MIL tendancies (watch out for her on ACA!)
My brother had been single for a long time and Mum did a lot for him, not because he asked, because she wanted to “help”. Now he’s six months into a relationship and she has only just stopped referring to his lovely girlfriend as “that girl”. As in P and that girl are coming for lunch…
Reminds me of a movie I saw recently called “dan in real life”. I loved the character of the older brother who told his mother everything.(great mum played by diane wiess who just uhums his every comment)
When the whole family are on holidays at what can only be described as a kennedy compound set up. this older son gets dumped by a great girl, the whole family are watching from inside and as the girl drives off and the brother heads back towards the house, he is calling out ‘mum!’. god it cracked me up.
After three daughters I had a son and it would be an understatement to say he is adored and spoilt by us women. I know now why men behave the way they do after having a mother dote on their every whim (plus sisters) We joke that we don’t care what his wife will put up with as a consequence of our indulgence upon him, but we have all vowed to give her the upmost support and welcome her with open arms. (My son always says he will send his wife over to my place to learn how to cook his favourite food – he is only 11) I also cannot fathom that one day he will love another woman, so I am making the most of it now. (and praying for grandsons one day)
So I totally understand why some mothers are so over the top although some are completely off track. But when you have a son you suddenly realise the relationship your son has with his mother and relax about it. My hubby can’t survive without his mum and I admire the bond they have. Although he was spoilt beyond repair, I have made a point of my son pulling his own weight and being capable, he can do a load of washing(yes sorted and all) cook several dishes, iron his shirt and mend a button, he can bake choc chip biscuits(his fav)clean the kitchen and turn on a vacuum cleaner (I figure I owe his future wife this much lol)
Sorry I could babble about my son all day….. he rocks
My neighbour, a gorgeous wise woman who has 7 children often says that you only borrow your children. You borrow them to love, nurture and educate. Then they are free. They will only return if you give them freedom.
It sounds like his mum is having a little bit of trouble ‘letting go’, and understanding that his son is a grown man. Even if the players are able to choose who to invite with them on their trips, it seems an obvious choice to invite their girlfriend as opposed to their mothers. It was extremely distasteful of this guy’s mother to discuss it with the media!
Lisa T – that is beautiful!
In relation to this whole article, I really love this saying….
“You may give them your love,
but not your thoughts,
for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies,
but not their souls,
for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit,
even in your dreams”
Wollywally – no offence – but we’ve tried everything! We sent christmas presents and photos and emails. Presents got sent back to us…and I’m sure she blocked our address from her emails. They couldn’t show the decency to come up to us after bub was born (said they couldn’t afford it), but 2 mths later they could wander off two the top of qld for a 2 wk holiday. Christ – we live closer than that! No excuse – we’ve tried – and we’re over it! My beautiful sister in law said her mum even took down all photos of us and her grandchild….mean mean mean!
All I can say is- thank goodness that’s not my MIL. I met my husband when he was here on a holiday from UK and married him before I had met his parents. They arrived in Australia to meet the woman who had ’stolen’ their son, and his mother has been the most wonderful support to me ever since. It can’t be easy for her.
However, my husband Skypes her at least once a week, and she stays with us when she visits. When I met her, and saw the loving and respectful way my husband treated her, I knew I had made the right choice. Mothers need to let go a little to achieve the relationship they desire with their children.
I must be daughter-in-law from hell! you know that say ” if Maometto dosen’t go to the mountain, the mountain goes to Maometto”? it is another Italian say, means that you haven’t try hard enough, love ooxx
The thing I hate the most about this whole story is it’s the girlfriend fault for the poor relationship between mother and son… How ridiculous! Mother and son need to talk and quite clearly haven’t for a long time, long before Jessica came along. This is the act of a desperate women and Mitchell needs to sort it out quick before he ends up losing both women in his life.
No doubt Mum is a problem but Mitchell needs to find ways to deal with her because she ain’t going to disappear any time soon.
Mia I’m so glad you posted this, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the article.
What a foolish foolish woman. Sounds exactly like my MIL – albeit slightly higher profile for the bagging. I must say she has given me the greatest gift and taught me the most invaluable lesson – you need to nurture a relationship with your children’s partners. There are no two ways about it, if you alienate your daughter-in-law through this kind of behaviour you are the one that loses out.
I feel soooo sorry for Mitchells partner, I can fully relate!
Wait till they have kids – the mother will miss out on her little grandchildren!
My M I L stopped talking to us when we moved away, I was pregnant and wanted to be near my Mum for my first child and the M I L stopped talking to us.
Our baby is now one – and she still hasn’t made an effort to come and meet her FIRST grandchild. She’s changed her mobile number and has never phoned. We’ve tried to come to party and when we go down on holidays we phone to try and see her, but she doesn’t wanna know us.
So shame on these MIL’s that act like no-one is allowed near their boys. Funnily enough my baby is a beautiful boy (can guarantee I won’t be anything like her), my MIL doesn’t know what she’s missing! And neither will Mitchells mum!!!
Thank you Squeak, I agree with you, for the ones the do not have a good realtionship with the MIL, fron my exsperience, it” takes too to tango”, my relashionship with my MIL as not alwyas been full sailing, we had our moments, still I think she is a great MIL, a wonderfull person, I am gratefull, that trough her as a mother , mu husband was born, it is all interconnected, when we start to thing in term of us, instead of little me me, relationship start to blossom, by the way this is something I had to learn too, love to all ooxx
That’s the way Mum, I’m sure Mitchell will come running now after you’ve done the ACA and newspaper interview calling his girlfriend a gold digger.
Can you imagine the sledging Mitchell is receiving from his team-mates right now?
I think men in general are bad at staying in touch with their mum’s. It’s not because they don’t love them they just seem to forget.
The mum in question here is going to regret what she said. I understand that she is the one who drove him to training, paid for gear etc for all those years but there will always come a time in a man’s life where girlfriend / wife will take pride of place.
My grandma-in-law told me that once a boy finds love his mother has lost him forever. Sad but true.
Oh and she’s calling her a gold digger ! Sounds like mum is jealous she’s not getting a share of the cash. She probably thinks she deserves some of it. My MIL tried that one when I left work after having our first child. I was bludging off her son you see. Had to remind her that I was the only one working when we bought our house, her son was still at uni.
I read this one yesterday too!
Wow – that’s going to take some serious family therapy between son and Mum to get over.
I hope her son forgives her though – she’s just hurtin’.
Mia, you raised some great points about this on the Today show this morning.
I think Jess should be taking this as a huge warning and run as fast as she can. If this is how his mother is behaving when she is only his girlfriend, imagine what it will be like when they are married and have children. She will go from boyfriends mother from hell to mother in law and grandmother from hell.
He needs to stand up to her bully tactics and tell her that perhaps if she was more pleasant to be around he may actually want to spend more time with her.
But seriously, what was she thinking going public with this ? Humiliating all round.
wollywally, i love your italian saying! it’s very true.
i think this situation goes both ways. yes, sons could probably be a bit more attentive to their parents, especially after they leave home/go on to have wildly successful cricket careers. but in this case, mitch’s mum would have been better off quietly letting her son know that she’s feeling a bit left out, and realising that it’s no longer all about her. she’s really done herself no favours, coming across as jealous and domineering, and embarrassing her poor son and his girlfriend.
Well I know of one person who will be nodding her head in agreement with his mother. My mil. You see, I also stole her son away from her.
There would be a reason why she only received texts at christmas/birthday.
I have 2 sons and have told my husband to wake me up quickly if I ever show signs of thinking I ‘own’ them.
Relationships between MIL’s and DIL can be tricky. I get on with my MIL pretty well and hubby also has a good relationship with his mum and speaks fairly regularly with her on the phone. But there have been times when she bugs the crap out of me, and in turn, I have probably had the same effect on her at times.
A girlfriend has an adult son who is married and she likes his wife, although thinks she’s a bit of a “wimp”. Number 1 son still visits mummy to get certain things done because he says she does them better than wife. My friend is so pleased with that because she still feels like she has control/influence over him.
I think Mums (some mums) have a lot to ansswer for. I hope Vivki Harber has had a reality check and starts to realise her son’t life does not revolve around her any longer
Check out this story. It was around yesterday about men staying at home longer and relying on their mum’s to do more for them, which in turn is making problems down the track.
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,,25751404-661,00.html
Thanks Bon for the heads-up on my typo (fixed now)…
I’ll bet this article is not the first time the son & girlfriend have been made aware of the mothers opinion. I’ll bet that’s why he is just texting her on her birthday – he’s trying to do the right thing by staying in touch, but still pissed off with her for her lack of respect for his choices.
The mother is foolish because whether the relationship goes the distance or not, she has hurt and humiliated her son in a way he will never forget and may never forgive. I too would be keeping my distance in self-preservation.
The mother has SO MANY issues – the son must have struggled with these his whole life. My mum has some control issues, and ‘can’t help herself’ (her words) but give her opinion on every choice my siblings and I make. Turns out, none of those choices are ever quite good enough. Although I see Mum very frequently, I have tried to distance myself emotionally to cope with it, but at times it is just so hard. So I really, really feel for this guy. I’m sure he loves his mum, but she has overstepped the line big time, and done it so publicly. Bad move Mum.
I am cringing for all 3!
No wonder she only gets texts messages from her son. After this article she will be lucky if he still texts her.
Run Mitchell run…..
In Italy we have a say ” come tratta la mamma trattera’ te” that tramslate mean, ” as he treat his mother he will treat you”,(girlfriend or wife), put to the test, and let me know, love to all ooxx
The way I see, it wouldn’t take much effort to keep in touch with his mother, I have a great mother in law, my husband keep in touch at least once a week, and drop by to have lunch with her every 3 or 4 week, and he is a very busy men, this is his own doing, he loves his mother,my mom lives in Italy and we keep in touch weekly by phone or skype,both my mother in law and my mom have busy lives they do not lives trough us, in short to keep relationship alive we all need to make an effort, be friends or family, I got compassion for this mother, and her anguish, and I agree espress her disappoitment to the press is not a good thing to do, love to all ooxx
You crack me up Tim!!
But there are resonances of the Oedipus tale, aren’t there?
How embarrassing for poor Oedipus…I mean Mitchell. It’s bad enough when your mum says that kind of thing in front of your mates, let alone the whole country.
My boys mum and I get along fairly well. Mainly because I am there for dinner every Monday night, I help in the kitchen with cooking and cleaning up and I genuinely care for my boys mum and step-father.
We get along pretty well. If I haven’t been over for a few days or a week, his parents start asking where I am.
The boys sister on the other hand… She moved out of home unexpectedly at the start of the year and has an incredibly strained relationship with her mother. Its like I’m the replacement daughter.
But yeah Mrs Harber sounds a bit of a nut-job. But it goes both ways. As the son or girlfriend you have to do things to appease the mother in order to maintain harmony in the relationship.
Ultimate MIL from hell: my ex-housemate got married and her husbands mother refused to go to the wedding because she hated my ex-housemate.
I have to agree with the other posters and Mia, the more this mother carries on the less her son will want to have to do with her. If Jessica emailed Mia asking what she should do in this situation, most of us would be saying “Tell that woman she’s had her own life, let go and let your son grow up! And be very thankful that Mitchell appears to be backing you up instead of rolling over and doing what his mother wants.” Not to mention that her complaining about Jessica getting to travel just sounds like sour grapes – no-one said that Mum can’t come along to the Ashes, just that Cricket Australia is only paying for a certain number of family members and Mitchell selected a different family member to his mother.
On Sunday mornings my husband likes to watch a slew of sports shows including Sunday Sport on Channel Nine.
So last Sunday I watched an interview with Jessica and Mitchell. And it left me with that lovely feel good feeling. They’re in love. She met him and had no idea what he did. She’s successful in her own right, in Tae Kwon Do (or another fighting sport). She has won National and International awards. She’s not some floozy that shops and has her hair done. She appears to be a top chick.
I caught a little of the interview last night, but turned it off. It was a downer. And SO inappropriate.
What’s that saying? Don’t air your dirty laundry in public?
Mothers who are over invested/overly dependent on their children for fulfillment- so common. My own mum never had a life outside the home- socially or career wise and had a major depression when me and my siblings left the nest. She’s ok now but it took her a long time to accept the changes.
This has made me kind of hellbent on maintaining a life of my own outside of the kids, as hard as it is when they are little. I try to maintain a social life, my marriage, career. My nightmare is turning into this woman!
I do feel sorry for her though. Parenting is an emotional roller coaster I reckon. So intense and all consuming when they’re little and then you’re expected to make this big adjustment when they grow up. Motherhood is not for the fainthearted!
Makes me SO glad for a wonderful MIL who I get on well with. It begs the ‘chicken and egg’ question though – which came first, mum’s bad attitude to the girlfriend or the bad communication etc from the son, which she complains about. Because if it was her bad attitude to his new girlfriend, then who can blame him for low contact levels!
I initially had the same reaction as everyone else, but then I read the text on the birthday/Christmas. Floored me a little. My mother’s birthday is next week, and I have been working my butt off making it perfect for her. He would earn per year roughly 100 times more than I do (if I take a wild and uneducated guess about what football players make, which I am probably UNDERestimating). A text is not good. However, that seems to be a guy thing. I’ve seen guys on good terms with their mothers think a phone call is a treat for a birthday.
As for her… well, she just sound like a Difficult Parent. They’re not confined to mothers, and it sounds like the issues were probably already present in the relationship before Jessica came along. If she’s gone out to the media to complain about her son, then she’s desperate. It sounds a lot like a Difficult Parent I know. It’s sad, but I don’t think we can necessarily judge TOO harshly. Until our sons are that age and we see them with women they may love more than us, we don’t know our response to that kind of situation.
After I saw your Twitter about Luca, Mia, I called my mother and asked her when I was allowed to move out. She answered what I guessed would be the figure – 65. I think it’s the only child thing that adds the 20 extra years.
OMG…I have heard these almost exact words in my dating life (different context though).
My husband’s mum felt that until we were married, he was all hers, yet even after the wedding she still held on for dear life. And…she wasn’t single. Hubbies parents have been together for at least 40 years now.
It’s been hard, but we’ve now moved to the other side of the world. Aaaahhh….HOW’S THE SERENITY!
I have a son who I dearly love, but God help me…I would rather die first than making such an intolerable situation with my son and his future bride!
A word to Mrs Harber: If you want to hang onto your relationship with your son, you are going about it the wrong way. Let him go. Let it go. The more pressure and bad mouthing you carry on with, the more distance you are putting between yourself and your son. I understand you have been there for him his whole life, and you would like to see his achievements (the fruit of all your hard parenting). His girlfriend is not there to replace you, but to take on an entirely different role, and you need to be good with that. The sooner you accept that, the quicker your son will come running home to give you a big hug.
My Mum couldn’t wait to get shot of me. I left in a hurry at 17. She bought an MG and started living.
From my own experience I can say that sometimes it’s not the mother, but the sister of your partner who you have the unfortunate conflict with. I get along great with my partner’s mother, but his sister and I, well let’s just say we have our differences…
Easy explanation here. She must have been a SAHM.
Kidding people kidding! Just couldn’t resist!
Thank you Mia! Great topic. People underestimate what a huge, huge problem that is. You are absolutely right, this problem is much more prevalent amongst either single mothers or those in bad relationships. It might sounds harsh, but there is a new term in popular psychology: “Emotional Incest”. I suggest looking up Dr Patricia Love and her books. She talks about a phenomenon of mothers OR fathers dissatisfied with the primary relationship/lack of thereof, and compensating with a heightened attachment to their children. A child can indeed become a pseudo partner, “mommy’s little man”, where a parent shares their relationship problems, their hurts and worries with a child, thus burdening a vulnerable person with an appropriate over-sharing. This is nothing more than a transgression of a very clear boundary: parent/child.
Good on you Mia for thinking over the thing you told your child…You obviously have very healthy family relationships. Mothers with a said problem would not give this a second thought.
Mitchell Johnson’s mother literally needs to get her OWN life. She is kidding herself justifying her rant by the fact that Jessica is ‘only’ a girlfriend. Uncomfortable relationship with a mother-in-law quickly goes downhill AFTER the wedding. She will feel even worse when another woman has a ‘legitimate right’ to her ‘little man’. Psychologist’s intervention is in order.
Mia – I think the WAG’s surname is Bratich, not Braitch.
The mother’s behaviour in this case is inexcusable. If she has a problem with her son, she should deal with him directly instead of dragging him into the press.
No wonder he wants nothing to do with her!
I read this article in today’s paper and couldn’t believe what this woman was willing to share with all and sundry about her son and his girlfriend. Very bad taste on her part and embarrassing for her son and his girlfriend.
Above and beyond the Smother’s issues with her son’s girlfriend – how utterly embarrassing and humiliating for both her son!! How could she possibly think anything good would come from this? If anything, I would expect him to distance himself even more now. Silly silly woman. I wonder was she one of those mums who sat RIGHT outside school in the Datto 180B and called out “yoohoo, darl, here I am !!” in frint of all his mates…
I read this article this morning and thought it was really embarrasing for his Mum. Clearly she has a few ‘issues’. How did she end up talking to the journalist about this????
Note to self: Do not wake up in 20 years and get grumpy that Betty hasn’t called in a while, then decide best way to resolve problem is to whinge to a major metropolitan newspaper…
Something tells me the distance between this mother and son has nothing to do with his girlfriend. Seems like he has just made a break from an overbearing mother.
His mum should be proud that he is happy and successful. No wonder he moved to Perth to get away from the smother…
Meeouwwww!!!! Sorry but this future mother-in-law has scared me, let alone her son’s girlfriend. Please make sure these two ladies are never alone together without a first-aid kit handy. Better still, a paramedic (for the sake of the girlfriend’s safety).
There is a real problem with this mum who is unable to see why her grown up son wants to be with his beautiful partner. How old is this guy? Does she want him to take her everywhere instead of his girl?
After my prickly relationship with a M-I-L from hell who couldn’t allow her boy to grow up, I have a few words for this mum: Boys grow up and develop into young men who fancy beautiful girls. That’s part of growing up and your boy has thankfully reached that stage. So, let it be. Nature has taken it’s natural course.
If you wanted to be a cricket WAG, you had your chance when you were this girl’s age and you would have been flown around and dined everywhere. Now your son has a chance to be happy, if you allow your feelings to destroy what he has with this girl, it will come back to bite you.
If you want to have a continuous relationship with your son and to one day enjoy grandchildren, zip it. By being critical about your son’s girlfriend you are making him choose – and it won’t be you he chooses. Sorry, but that’s a fact.
I also have a son. He’s young now, just started high school, but one day not too long from now he will hopefully choose a girl that he wants to be with. I will not resent him allowing that girl to accompany him to functions instead of me.
I would be surprised if he doesn’t take his girl and horrified if he took me instead because I would worry that there is something dysfunctional about that.
Ouch. Certainly feel sorry for that mother in a way….I agree she will most likely regret that emotional outpouring.
You might wanna be careful in telling Luca 45 Mia..apparently we’re staying at home longer and longer these days! My 24 year old bro is still at home as am I (20).
I have one of those Mother in laws – & a sister in law to match too. Jeez I hope she is not expecting a meaningful relationship now – nothing like slagging of your childs partner to create to rift.
So let me get this straight. The mum is upset that she is not flown everywhere by Cricket Australia to watch her son play?! Is she jealous of her sons girlfriend? And she wants to expose her feelings to a journalist about this? Perhaps she should be exploring her insecurities to a professional counsellor that can help her work through her issues privately.
I’ve always like Mitchell Johnson, he doesn’t deserve to have his relationship with his mother or girlfriend dragged through the media like this.
Interesting topic, Mia.
Perhaps I’m generalising a tad, but does anyone think that men are just quite bad at staying in touch with their mums, particularly when their spare time is consumed by a relationship? My husband is quite bad at calling his mum and is nothing like his sister, who talks to her mum every day.