11 Things Nobody Told Me About Parenthood
Yeah, I knew that breast feeding might be tough. I read that I might get post-natal depression. I knew not to expect a lot of sleep. What I DIDN'T know about this whole motherhood thing? The details. There were many many details everyone neglected to mention. So after three children and many surprising discoveries here's some fine print for the parents of the future…..
1. There will be some of your child's books that really piss you off. These are guaranteed to be the ones your kid wants you to read EVERY NIGHT. This will almost kill you. (See point 7).
2. Having children does not make you a morning person. My whole life, I have never been good in the morning. Those I've loved and lived with have always known this and adapted their lives accordingly so as to avoid any form of interaction with me lest I punch them in the face. I assumed this would change when I HAD to get up at dawn's crack and be a parent. It didn't. Unfortunately (for them) my children do not have the option of avoiding me in the morning. Especially when they require breakfast from my boobs. Urgently. After more than a decade, I'm still fairly unhappy about having to wake up so early every single morning of my life even on weekends even public holidays even when on vacation, OKAY? But I've learned to stop growling and suck it up.
3. There will be some of your child's clothes that you loathe. These items will have been given to them as gifts by people with no taste and are guaranteed to be your child's favourite things to wear. Every. Single. Day. Make them disappear.
4. Friends, relatives and shopkeepers will give your child treats, making it impossible to control their sugar intake. At Easter time? Leave the country.
5. No matter how well intentioned you are about organic and non-processed and blah blah blah, you too will bribe your child with sugary treats to get them to do something you want them to do. You will. I promise. Don't fight it.
6. At some point, you will be forced to raid your child's wallet or piggy bank to pay the babysitter or pizza delivery guy. Leave an IOU. They can discuss it with their therapist in twenty years.
7. While reading a story aloud to your child, it's possible to be thinking about something entirely different. Like when you're driving. This will frequently come in handy (see point 1).
8. Going away with your kids is not a holiday and bears no resemblance to the activity of the same name in which you partook when childless. It's simply called 'moving the children to a different location without any of the neccessary props you have at home and making life infinitely more difficult for the adults'.
9. Kids are hilarious. Even when they're newborns they do stuff that makes you laugh. Even their farts can be funny. And when they can talk, you will become one of those people who recount stories about the cute way your kid pronounces words. It won't be funny to anyone else but you will tell the stories anyway because it will make your heart clench with love.
10. Playing is not fun. I don't know why, as a grown woman, I expected to suddenly enjoy doing puzzles and the hokey pokey and making farm animals out of toilet rolls. But I did. I thought that's what parents were meant to do. Play. I love spending time with my children and talking to them and hanging out. Playing? Not so much.
11. Parks are tedious. I used to think I was the only one who felt this way. Then I bumped into a friend and asked how she was enjoying her maternity leave with her one year old daughter. "I really need to go back to work part-time," she said. "If I have to go to another park, I'm going to lose the will to live. It's death by park."
Any other details you wish you'd known about prior to having kids? Sharing is caring….comment away…..
GIVEAWAY! I have three sets of the Being Dad DVDs worth $55 each to give away randomly to commenters. They're funny, educational documentaries made for expectant couples to watch together and you can read more about them here. If you'd like to win one for yourself or a friend, say so at the end of your comment and check back here in a few days for the winners.
UPDATE: …and the winners are…. Danielle Melnyezenko, Katie (p3) and Kylie (p10). If that's you, email Simone from Being Dad here with your details so she can send your DVDs out to you. Congrats!
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yep, i knew many details and still I get frustrated at so many things like why do I have to repeat myself over and over or why cant this get done a bit faster, not a chance, they show you on their time table what is really important….
being a single Mom since my son was 6 weeks old and now having my daugther being already 14 months I dont know if I ever get any time or anything ever done for myself….they just outlast me because they are 2 against 1!
Rebecca, OMG, I got that weirdo book too, couldn’t believe I had received a book about a mother dying, I have banned it!
Nina – your post made me almost spit my wine all over the computer (almost). V V funny. Hit a real cord.
As did yours Mia.
#101 – I loathe talking about cars, boats, twains, planes, choppers, cabs. OMG who invented all these forms of transport and who said little boys would be so interested in them? I have NEVER encouraged any interest in traditional boy related interest. And yet the gender neutral doll is tossed in a corener and I must now spend half my day feigning interest in wheels??? I am SO bored of talking about cars.
NB – I may be a little overwrought having returned from holiday today and having caught a car, a plane, a train, a bus and a cab with an overactive, overtired, oversugared 21 month old. All in one day.
I am a mother of three children under 5. I am not a morning person either, When i had my first child i thought they go to bed when told and they just slept through the night until morning. At the moment, we have my son and daughter coming in bed with us at any hour during the night, as well as our 4.5month old in his cot in our room. So its open house 24/7! My son is obessed with the garbage truck, so the whole house hold is awake as early as 4.30AM! Oh, its not good enough to look out the window, we have to go outside and greet the truck with the flashing lights and me looking like a madwomen with bed hair because my children have no concept of time ! The driver knows us now and waves to me and my children every collection week.
Also, if my children are sick with a runny nose etc,etc the whole household is sick and the endless trips to the doctors can be frustrating. I am a nurse and I work weekends, somtimes i feel I haven’t left home. My children follow me around and want to know where i am at all times. Sometimes I feel I’m on home detention. Being a mother in this generation is tough, there is no sick leave or vacation leave or business hours. But we do the best we can.
Anonanon – I really feel for you. To feel trapped like that is the absolute pits.
It’s hard when you feel you are forced to do what you don’t want to do and can’t see a way out. I’d love to be able to offer some advice, however I’m guessing it would sound very trite under the circumstances. I hope it works out for you.
My number 13? Don’t leave your good black pants, you know, the nice stretchy pair that are the only thing that fits after the whole lovely birthing thing? Yes those ones. Well don’t leave them lying on the laundry floor. Your husband will think he is doing you a huge favour by throwing them in the hot wash with the nappies. Yep. Once lovely, comfy, almost flattering black pants wear-them-every-day wardrobe staple has now become wierd shrivelled twisted white spotted funny gray streaky bits piece of rag.
And I don’t need parks! I have a farm, cows, sensational vistas in every direction, trees to climb, dams to throw rocks in, chooks to feed, veggies to water, but I’ll stop bragging now!!
Gemma YES! Public toilets are my most hated thing in the whole world. I hate them to the point of taking the potty in the car so the kids don’t have to use the public toilets. Ick. Especially the park ones, they are just soooo gross and unclean eeeewwwww!!!
Simone my kids like to do the ‘very long poo’ in the ‘very dirty public toilet’. The need to poo usually happens when we are as far away from home as possible. Actually, when I think about it, it seems to occur with number 12, the toilets at parks are truly repulsive. Another reason to dislike parks…
As a babysitter, I understand about the books. I cannot stand “The magic school bus” or understand how it came to be on the Scholastic reading list. Once I turned the pages three at a time and luckily the child fell asleep regardless of gaps in the storyline.
I then went and had a cup of tea and remembered my Mother doing the same thing with my books, and observant little me saying “No! you’re reading it wrong!”
You forgot number 12. Kids are crap magnets. No matter how much you clean, tidy your house or strive to a have a beautiful home, your children will bring in ugly plastic items with which they cannot part. Promotional posters will replace anything remotely like art.
Hi Mia
The whole playing thing is so hard. I often feel in a constant state of guilt for trying to get out of it. My lovely 5yo boy loves to play with me and often directs the way in which we play. I’m sure it makes perfect sense in his own head but when I do it he seems to be constantly telling me I am doing it wrong. However, he seems encouraged that I am actually attempting to play with him. The afterglow joy on both our faces when we have spent time together “playing” is worth it.
Although I do long for the days when I could just put my feet up and watch tv uninterupted or read a book.
Looking forward to retirement…
Mia you forgot one other thing nobody tells you. The ill timed “very long poo” that your child always needs to do at the most inopportune times. Why do they take so long on the toilet? (My youngest sings bawdy drunken sailor type songs on the loo!) And why do they wait until you are almost running late for something before realising they need to go? We were at the snow this weekend and after spending what seemed like hours dressing everyone and putting on all the gear (thermals, boots, ski pants, jackets, helmets, gloves, goggles, scarves etc.) my six year old realised it was time for a “very long poo”. So of course we had to undress him and wait for a ‘very long time’ in all of our gear – almost passing out in the very hot appt. It always happens and I don’t recall being warned about this phenomenon before kids!
I must be a weird mum then cos i actually enjoy playing with my daughter (3 yrs old) and going to parks! We play with her dolls, crafty things, books, blocks etc for ages. And the parks? I find it a social outlet really. I actually look forward to chatting with other mums and watching the kids play.
Does that make me weird? lol
But i can relate to almost every other thing on the list!
Tick all eleven for me. My number 12 would be that even though you love your child to the moon and back, you can be so sick of the sound of their non-stop talking some days, you could fill your ears with melted wax. Or is that just me?
Gee I must be the only guy on here! Maybe that is why I didnt agree with most of the points. I have 3 children and the youngest is now 20! I really miss the time playing in the park. A time when the whole extended family could join in and play whatever is going. I was always a morning person so found getting up early no probs
Oh my Goodness – I LOVED this!!!!
I just finished watching 60 minutes where the story was on being a stay at home Mum/Housewife and how wonderful it was! As I watched it I was in my PJs with my 3.5yo, 2yo and 1yo all asleep in bed, FINALLY.
Today my 3.5 yo cut the 2yos hair with clippers (No blade), making his previously very cool and funky blonde Mohawk into an accident with a lawnmower! My 2yo will now be wearing beanies ALL winter to cover his barely there white blond hair.
As I sat recovering from that ordeal and making a mental note to visit Cotton On Kids for another cool beanie, sipping (ok guzzling)a glass of red in front of 60 Minutes, I wondered if I was the only mum in the country who was NOT enjoying the day to day chaos of ‘motherhood’!!
Then I read your blog Mia – and let me tell you, I’m feeling SOOOOOOOOO much better!!!!
3 kids under 3.5 – what the hell was I thinking!!!!
I like the park. At least it gets us out of the friggin’ house!
Love this article thank you, good to read about a bird’s experience with kids. Will pas this link onto my wife. We are DINKS (Dual income no kids)at present but planning so no doubt we will be NPAM (New parents and moneyless!)
Agree with you about mornings, god who invented morning!
As a 7wk pregnant first mum I love this post. Noone ever tells you these things (except for my Mum
)
Would love to win one of the DVDs please Mia!
Thanks for making the effort to comment on my comment, Caroline. I appreciate it. It’s nice to get thoughtful feedback.
I don’t think we should judge people and say ‘you should just be happy to be at home with your kids and quit whining about the park because i wish that was me’ or ‘you should feel so lucky to go to work’ etc etc. Everyone has their challenges in life, every case is unique. We should all just support one another, be good listeners and share our hardships so as parents we don’t feel alone in the world.
I nanny’d for a few years, and while I didn’t mind the park as a whole, I LOATHED the swings. Nothing is more tedious than standing there pushing the kids back and forth, back and forth. Loved the rest of the park though, used to push small children out of the way so I could play
E – I don’t think you will know whether or not you want or don’t want children.
If you meet someone special and you feel drawn, you will. If you meet someone special and it happens, then you will.
Otherwise you will lead the fulfilling and generous life you currently do.
I was not able to forsee a life without my own children. I def. wanted it. Once my daughter was born I realised that I might have been OK without children. The hard thing is that only those who have had children can also have the luxury of saying “I think it would have been OK if they had never happened”….
BUT…now that she is older and we have a smashing relationship and I have smoothed into being her mum, well, I can’t be without her…
Life will undoubtedly lead you to where to need to be. And no, people without children are not selfish at all and who cares anyway? Everyone is drawn to what is right for them…..live and let live….
Amazing, exactly spot on, especially..
No2, standing here typing at 7am cause been up since 6am on Sunday morning w hangover. Its just not fair
No5 only in the instance of out and out bribery re No2
No8 OMG, have had worst holidays! who would ever know that, no kinder, no daycare, no nannas, 24/7 kids…get me home
Hi Mia,
I am a bit late to this post but I am a semi-regular (and hopefully constructive) commenter and would like to win one of the DVDs for my sister and her husband, who are about to have their first child in August.
While I’m here, allow me to make a suggestion for a future post (or posts): When do you know NOT to have children? And then, if you don’t (or can’t), how do you go about shaping your life while almost all of your peers are up to their armpits in nappies, homework and Miley Cyrus… and think you ‘don’t understand’?
I am in my early 30s, single and childless. Most of my friends are married, although no one close to me has had kids just yet. Up until recently, I always thought I wanted to get married and have kids. Now, I’m not so sure. I have always been, and still am, keen to have a loving and inspiring relationship with a man. (I recently broke up with my boyfriend because we did not see a long-term future together, but remain close.) However, I have never been, and am still not, particularly ‘clucky’. I am a Big Sister mentor to a disadvantaged teenage girl. I love it and find that I just want to keep helping more and more teenagers. Also, teenagers seem to be drawn to me. However, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve never had a lot of interest in, or energy for, little kids. I’m happy to interact with them, and consider myself to be a warm person, but I find the idea of looking after them (non-stop, not to mention all the other things you have to do in life) utterly exhausting. I’m sure I’d manage but I don’t think I’d be very good at it (and fear I’d be judged for it). Once they became teenagers and adults, though, I’d probably be a much better parent.
I always thought, or had been led to believe by my mother, grandmother and society, that people who don’t have kids are self-absorbed, career-oriented and a bit detached but, in my case, that’s not true. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m even thinking of going back to uni to study counselling so that I can really get involved with helping people. Not being a parent might allow me to do some amazing things that I might not have had the time, energy or funds to do otherwise.
Thanks Mia. Love your work. As I’ve mentioned before, my only complaint is that you post too many interesting things and I don’t always have time to read them all!
I’ve so enjoyed this post & comments! But I must give special mention:
MayaB: Thanks for the heads up – #2 is due in a few months, and we have convinced ourselves that this time will be far easier because we’ve “supposedly done this before!” I will remember your words when I’m feeling incompetent (and yes, now that you mention it – how DO I bath a newborn again???)
wiglet: I have tears of laughter still streaming down my face. You reminded me of when my daughter was about a week old and she did a projectile poo right at the moment my partner was bending down to get a fresh nappy – right in the eye. He knew he was a father at that moment – rather than being grossed out, he thought it was hilarious and cute!!
To Lucy and all the others disheartened by this post – parenthood is by far the most amazing thing you will ever experience. We are just enjoying the whinging because these are often things that you’re not ’supposed’ to admit, so it’s nice to know we’re all in the same boat, and not bad parents!!
Yes, yes, yes, SO agree with all of this.
I used to only go to playgroup for the social aspect – mine. To catch up with my friends before they all disappeared back into the paid workforce. Nowdays I send the girls to preschool so I don’t have to feel guilty about no playgroup. Let those who get paid to do it clean up the mess. A well-meaning friend bought my 4yo daughter a pack of multiple craft activities and painting gear, which I promptly put in a box and called it the “rainy day box”. Unfortunately El Nino is less so now, so the box does make an occasional appearance, but only when the toddler is asleep. I use the opportunity to zone out. I hate to participate. Wouldn’t want to squash her creativity – that’s my excuse anyway.
#2 – I don’t do mornings either! Never have, never will. Hubby has the opposite body clock to me, but that’s his problem, not mine. Only works for us on Sundays when he can be the breakfast-maker.
#3 – the clothes. When my teenage boys were little (like 2 & 4) I let them wear their full Batman suits – masks, capes, the lot – to the shops. I thought I’d feel mortified, but most people commented how cute they looked.
#5 add Happy Meals to that list.
#11 parks: I only go to fenced ones with plenty of seats. And even then the moon and stars have to align the right way for me to feel like taking them.
On the plus side, it brings a tear to my eye when I remember that by the simple fact that I gave birth to my kids, they think I’m the most fabulous person on earth. And they love me as much as their little hearts possibly can. No matter how slack a mother I think I am. Makes it all worthwhile, but doesn’t stop me wanting to whinge about it all sometimes. And not have any more – ever again.
Anonanon, I do feel for you, it is very hard to feel unsupported, I was in the same boat, when my son was young, no family support, and my husband energy all focus on the business,my son is a wonderfull kid, very smart, did not sleep for the first six years, when he goes to bed now I know is brwing something (sick), this sleepness nearly broke me,I got to the point that I was very resentfull and sorry for myself, what change my attitude was working with a wonderfull special need boy, with cerebral palsy, boy I tought I had tough, you should have see how hard was for this boy’s mother, I learned from them how to be gratefull for what I have, first and most of all to have a healthy son, and I change attitude decided them to stop been a victime , and not to worry anymore about lots of things, with my husband fault the list can be endless,I erase them and start to appreciate his good quality, it worked for me I am happy and content, and my husband is very cooperative then before,I hope it works for you as well,lots of love and big hug ciao
Anonanon – it sounds pretty bad for you. I hope you get some support soon. It is very hard to feel like the only person pushing the load. The feeling like you’re in prison is not something you can keep feeling for very long, do you have any ideas about how to get through this?
I don’t mind parks myself, I moved to the coast to have more open space so I must be a minority.
Coolum is a great place to holiday with joung kids, they have cots, high cair and ect ect, and a great kids club, I spent there few holidays, years ago, worth trying,ciao
Ps, In Italy they say ” you want the bicycle…….now pedal” love hugs ciao
Mia for a good family holiday I reccomend “Coolun resort” you just have to brig with you only clothes, they provide everything for joung kids, fron high cair, cot, ect. ect. there is a great kids club,give it a try, ciao
This post made me cry. I don’t mean tear up, I mean the full on howling sobbing red swollen eyed thing.
I work full time in a full-on career type job, having recently been obliged to return. I hate it; I don’t want to, but we have to eat and my husband effectively “dropped out” a couple of years ago and earns less than half what he used to but is never home anyway – yes, I seem to be supporting a mid-life crisis. Unfortunately my pre-kid career success was such that I am at a level where there ain’t no such thing as part time or low stress jobs. It’s well paid but so what? – Oh lord I am prison. Imprisoned by my own freaking career “success” with absolutely no escape.
So here’s my typical day -
Arrive at work at 7 (husband gets kids to school, and boy does he whinge about how put out he is by this). Work until 3.20. Pick the kids up from school at 3.30. Supervise homework (crack the whip over homework!) and adjudicate sibling rivalry and drive kids to school activities and stand around sport training fields in the OMG cold and make sure the dog gets a walk and cook dinner and all that. No “short cut” dinners here as husband has dietary isshews. Husband gets home around 8.30, just as the kids are heading to bed. Get back to work. Might get to bed at midnight/1am. Repeat.
“Me time”, the time I manage to carve out for myself, the time in the bathroom when I first get home from work. If I am lucky, the kids don’t come and try and talk at me through the door. Unfortunately the dog lets herself into the bathroom every time though.
Weekends – running to sports grounds and etc etc. I have not had a day free of kids activities etc since March. Helping on camps. Doing the shopping. Trying to get the house in order.
You know, I’d love a free hour to get to the shops on my own (not just cause I earn lots but I have no opportunity to enjoy it, but because there is stuff I need and presents I need to buy but no actual time in which I can go to the shops), but no.
I’ve been at the end of my rope for months. I’ve asked my husband to help (he’s cooked dinner twice in the last two months) and told him I’m not coping but he either doesn’t get it or doesn’t care. Something will break, and then what?
For crying out loud, enjoy the freedom you have.
I would love the luxury of hating parks. I didn’t love them either, but at least I could chill for a bit when I was there. I am not a morning person either, but this early-start is what I have to do to be able to spend any time at all with my kids. I would like more play time with my kids. Yes there are books that will piss you off, but they can disappear and be replaced with the ones that are fun to read (anything by Lynley Dodd). And at least those books END, my kids like to be read big stuff like Harry Potter books! Reading to them is joyous. And you can make the most of boring play – my son wanted me to push the stupid train around the stupid track but instead I made “design the perfect track” challenges for myself to stop myself from going nuts. And yes everyone gives your kids sugar, and the combination of easter and the Sydney show is deadly…
But relish your freedom!!!
I know this is way off topic, but it struck a chord. Probably the wrong one, but there you go.
I’m staring open mouthed at my screen. As a 9 week first time preggo chick I (think) I am looking forward to long park visits, and 101 ways with a cardboard box. Death by park? Tell me it isn’t so!
Hubby and I would love a Daddy DVD, thanks.
I knew that there’d be poo. Lots of it. Just never understood some of the implications involved with poo and babies/small children.
Like that I would actually consider it a good option to catch a poo in my bare hand (better that than it going all over the MIL’s cream carpet, anyway).
Or about poonamis – ie. how an otherwise healthy baby/toddler can do a huge exploding poo that goes from their neck to their toes.
Or that poo with sand all through it is really hard to wipe off bottoms.
And that you have to lift up little boys willies to wipe all the poo off their sacs (and likewise for little girls, you sometimes have to wipe between the vulva folds, which really seems to freak a lot of dads out big time).
Oh, just to add a postscript to MayaB’s ’second child’ list, people will be more interested in the second baby as well if you pop out a third at the same time!
I think you could do antoher list for things no one tells you about having your second child.
1. No one else is anywhere near as excited about your second pregnancy as they were your first. Be prepared for some underwhelming responses.
2. Some aspects of pregnancy, birth and motherhood with your second child will make you feel like you’ve never done this before. Especially at the newborn stage. it’s amazing how quickly you can forget how to bath a newborn when it was only a couple of years ago.
3. The things you don’t know the second time, you feel you should know because you’ve supposedly done this before!
4. The nurses in hospital leave you alone when they know it’s your second baby. No breastfeeding interference, no showing you how to do a wrap. pay attention the first time people.
5. The only thing people seem more interested in with the second one is it’s gender. If you have one boy and one girl, or vice versa, you are ‘clever’ and/or ‘don’t need to have any more now you have one of each’.
6. You wonder how you could possibly love another child as much, or find another child as cute as the first. You can, you do.
7. It’s so amazing to watch the older child protect and bond with the new baby (even if they sometimes treat them with a little too much enthusiasm).
8. You realise how each of your children are born with a set temperament, which can only partly be influenced by how you raise them. My children are so very different, and yet I think I have the same parenting techniques for both. No amount of ‘but you’re more relaxed with the second one’ can account for how highly strung my son is and how chilled my daugher is!
oh thank goodness. my bub is only 5 months old and i love her to bits but find ‘playing’ with her pretty boring. now i feel WAY less guilty. and less pressure to enjoy the innane playdough filled play times that lay ahead. thanks.
I love the way my daughter smells.
It’s worth all the bad outfits, snot, poo, wee etc. in the world.
What about those discoveries you Love? Like the wiggles! I bouth tickets for my daughter last christmas and accidentally turned up a day late. She was mildly disapointed but I was in tears!( maybe because I forked out the cash)So I went home booked a hotel and new tickets for the wiggles in Sydney that weekend. Had to raid the money box to afford it!
I never thought a grown up would get so into a kids band, than again all those tears they have stopped, all that free time I get while glued to the tv so I can cook dinner or just read a book. No wonder I worshipped them.
I meant to say I never thought I would have such detailed discussions about the above with a 4 year old.
I also hate playing. HATE it. TV is my best friend.
Oh, and nothing is ever your own. Makeup, headbands, hair elastics, brushes, combs, moisturisers anything I have shown remote interest in is pinched and hidden for a few days before brazenly paraded out in front of me just as we are walking out the door. Look Mummy, I’ve got lipstick on….
Poos and wees and bums and farts
bums and farts
Poos and wees and bums and farts
bums and farts
and vomit and snot and dribble and drool
poos and wees and bums and farts
bums and farts.
Bad mother alert here.
I love my 2 yo daughter BUT:
I hate the park. Miss 2yo is in full time day care. I do not go to the park. EVER.
I hate The Cat in The Hat (which will soon be The Cat in The Hat in the Bin). The movie is only slightly less worse. Only cause I don’t have to read it.
I hate the pizza lady who gives her a lollypop every time we get a pizza. EVERY FREAKIN TIME. Even after I told her that miss 2yo nearly choked on the last one in the car. As if I was going to take it away. As if I was going to stay in the pizza shop for the next hour whilst she at it. I had to stop and fish it out of her throat. I told you – bad mother. But the pizza lady still gives her a lollypop.
I really hate getting up early. Especially after a glass of wine in the evening (helps me get through dinner time). So I close Miss 2yo’s bedroom door and don’t get up until I am ready (about 8.30am). She is getting used to playing with her dolly, reading her books (pref The Cat in the Hat so I don’t have to read it later) and sitting in her wet nappy until then. I repeat. Bad mother.
I hate holidays. Actually, how can I hate holidays? I haven’t had one for three years. Yes, I count when I was pregnant cause I spent the whole time vomiting. Not a holiday as far as I am concerned.
I hate playing. It means I have to clean afterwards.
I LOVE chocolate. I get my way with Miss 2yo when I offer chocolate. When that fails, I offer a smack.
At least she’s cute.
I also hate parks but am guilty of playing with the blackberry while I am there- the newspaper is also good if it’s not too windy a day.
I loathe playing as well- the beauty of having more than one child is that it actually takes the pressure off in that department.
I don’t want to even think about the clothing part- nobody tells you that before the kid is even toilet trained they will have real opinions about what they wear. My eldest went through about 18 months where she did not wear a pair of pants- drove me completely mental.
I am also guilty of hiding certain hated books and donating them to the salvos if they are particularly bad- those books based on the kids movies like ‘Finding Nemo’ or ‘Sleeping Beauty’ are the worst! At a minimum I end up reading a very abridged version.
Wouldn’t trade any of it in for anything though!
Lucy, being a mother is the greatest thing ever. You have cuddles on tap. They think you are wonderful. They want to kiss you even with morning breath. Farts are always hilarious. You burst with pride when they put their shoes on the right feet. While working this morning, someone threw a teddy bear at my head, which turned into an all in war with teddies and stuffed dogs flying everywhere and giggling fits. There’s always a reason to bake cookies. Getting into their bed when they’re asleep and cuddling up to them is better than any drug induced high. Every day contains some joy.
I’m glad no-one told me about the disgusting things I would need to poke down the plughole with a cotton bud.
That should read ‘love your honesty!!!
Do you know what I love? When I have had an average day and the pregnancy hormones are raging worse than PMS, my 22 month old is whingy because he believes that he doesn’t want to have his afternoon sleep anymore and my husband has had a hard day at work and falls asleep on the couch at 8:30, knowing that I can log on to Mamamia and read a post as hilarious as this!!! It is so refreshing to hear that we are all feeling the same way.
I quite often look at some of the mums at my mums group and wonder why I am so different?? They have the baskets of craft and the boxes of scrap materials etc and I think a Wiggles dvd is so much easier!!!!!
Love your honestly as always Mia
Lucy, don’t be put off having kids. Yes, this all may sound like one huge whinge fest, and when mum’s get together that’s how they support each other, have a laugh together and learn from each other that they are not alone with their feelings. When you are a mum you do feel guilty a lot and think you are a lousy mum and so want to know that what you are doing is okay, and our best teachers are other mothers, even if we don’t agree with each other all the time. These types of discussions are really mums wanting to know, is what I am doing good or bad for my kids, and is it okay for me (as mum) to want to have a bit of a life, to still matter somehow, as well. Like Benita said, “I guess the message here is we all love, love, love our kids, but sometimes we just need to rant a bit; vent our frustration!”
LOVED all your points – brilliant!! Especially the play one – I too thought I would LOVE playing – but if I have to play “racing cars” one more time….But the clincher for me is the “Mother Guilt”. Especially now that i have 2 kids – if I don’t do things the same for the 2nd or if I feel like I’m neglecting the 1st to attend to the 2nd, etc, etc, etc. As much as I struggle to “get over the guilt” (and play nicely), I wouldn’t change my life for anything. It’s like life in general – if you don’t experience the lows you won’t experience the highs. Love being a mum….but love hearing there’s many “bad mummy’s” out there!! If anyone is interested, there’s a great website dealing with the everyday realities of parenthood with humour and candour: http://www.realmums.com.au – highly recommended!
Lucy, I just saw your post and I totally agree with Gemma. Whilst life is undoubtedly more difficult, tiring and messy post-children, in many, many ways it is so much fuller and better.
I love spending my day with my small son, even though his favourite game involves bossing me around (Mummy stand up! Mummy fall down! Cuddle me Mummy!). The best parts include where he laughs hysterically at my dancing, blows me Hollywood air-kisses and pulls up his tshirt so I can pretend to eat his bellybutton. Or where he requests chocolate icecream for breakfast, with this winning smile that he thinks will get him anything.
I cannot remember my life before my children and although I am no longer free to do whatever I please whenever I want to, I do not miss it at all. I have two little people whose whole world is the one that I am creating with and for them – how could life be any better?
Oh and another thing I love? The sound of my baby daughter giggling with joy as her brother rubs noses with her and calls her “Lillabug”. It’s the best sound I’ve ever heard.
I think we shold continue this post with favourite things about motherhood, for Lucy.
I never realised how much I would adore my daughters. I would truly do anything for them. In return, they think I am the most fabulous person around. They also think I am really, really old. I love how they smell, Im sure my baby smells like honey sigh…I feel like sneaking in and picking her up now. I love the way they make me laugh all day, it is worth all the trial & tribulations and I would hate to think of myself as a whining mother.
I have to confess to actually loving the Wiggles – sometimes I will find myself still singing along to “Hot Potato” after I have dropped Mr Nearly 3 at daycare!
I also like parks, but have no qualms about allowing my son to eat cake for lunch just so that I can follow the park visit with a much-needed break at our favourite cafe.
One thing no-one ever told me was how much guilt I would feel over things that are out of my control…like when my son weaned himself from breastfeeding at just 5 months of age….it was a nightmare….or when my daughter managed to skydive off her change table right onto her head. Bad mummy! Bad mummy!
Lucy, I don’t think anyone here has said ‘everything sucks’, unless I missed that post.
I think you will find, as some have pointed out, that these are the things we were not aware of before having kids.
If this post was about ‘what fabulous things were you not aware of before having kids’ – then I think you would find that we could all write a thesis!
Nothing can prepare you for the unconditional and total love. Nothing.
you have officially put me off having kids… and i really want kids… but this whole blog is about how much life changes and everything sucks when you have kids, how you are always tired and busy and covered in puke…
Update…
Me : ‘It’s Veal Parmigiana! You’ll love it!…Mmmmm, yum, yum, yum, yum, yummy…look Daddy’s eating it…. and Mummy’s eating it….’
‘I don’t like it’
sigh
those things are so true!!!
and im not even a mum, im 18yrs old and an au pair, so its not like i have the kids full time, but i always think im such a bad worker cos im not having fun playing and the park is just not my thing, wat makes it worse is having to talk to other mothers at the park, IN FRENCH, so thats a struggle and i usually just end up looking very stupid and inarticulate
Your best blog so far !!
So true, the parenting books don’t mention half of the things you are confronted with. What to do with the numerous knitted monstrosities that well meaning rellies bestow on you (I’m sure they breed in captivity!)
How you will suffer through some truly horrendous children that your child will befriend (or even worse, the lovely child but incredibly annoying parent combo).
The never ending advice from people in supermarkets, shopping centres etc, etc. Or the dreaded ‘childless friend’, who seems to know everything about parenting and where you are going wrong, and feels the need to share their endless insights with you!
I’m still bitter about never reading in any pregnancy book, that my feet would mysteriously go up a shoe size and never return – years of devoted shoe shopping destroyed
Oh, and nothing is ever as clean after you have kids: the floor is always sticky; there are always toys on the floor. Always. You whip yourself up into a frenzy mopping the sticky stuff off the floor, then turn around and there’s a pair (or two or three pairs) of tiny, muddy footprints from the door to the lounge. Finger prints and blow-fishes on the glass doors and windows. And you will always find a 2-week-old vegemite sandwich stuffed down the back of the couch when you’ve got friends over. Worse, the friend will find the sandwich.
I’m loving your comments everyone! I guess the message here is we all love, love, love our kids, but sometimes we just need to rant a bit; vent our frustration!
Georgie, as a mother of 2 surely you know that the reason we go back for more is the vain hope that the small people will play games, do craft, amuse themselves in the park with EACH OTHER instead of us. Extra bonus is when the big one can read their home reader to the little one.
I have a boy and a girl. When the boy has friends over they amuse themselves the entire time. When my daughter has a visitor they nag me endlessly to make cupcakes with them, take them to the park, pool, shops, movies, buy them a treat, make them pancakes, paint their nails….
Females are high maintenance, but I guess we knew that.
It’s about the food. Every day 3 to 5 times a day. Sometimes more.
Before kids? Dinner was often some cheese, maybe some dip and bikkies and a wine or two. Now? My life feels like one long menu that needs to be planned daily be me. I avoided my kitchen bk, now I feel like I live there, always trying to dream up something that everyone will actually eat. I am the one looking vaguely at the shelves, daily, at Woolies. Had no idea that my life after kids would revolve around food so much after spending the first 35 years of my life trying to avoid it at all costs!
And HOW did Veal Parmigiana make it into my ‘quick and short’ cook book? Hmmm??? (it’s smelling good though. Hope it’s a hit…;))
Discovering the true meaning of 24/7 is a bit of a shock too!
My iPhone saved me from park tedium. The kids have never been to the park so much
Maybe this is needs to be in a brochure format lurking in obstetrician’s waiting rooms. It says it like it is! I especially love LissyLouLou’s comment about writing 2008 on everything, it takes me until March get used to writing the new year. Brilliant!
I am so glad that I am not the only one who thinks about anything else, rather than the book I am reading!! Especially when you have read it a hundred times. Sometimes, if one of my daughters ask me a question about what I have just read – I have to speed read it again to know what we are up to….
I would love to win a copy of Being Dad DVD
That was great Mia!
Love the new pic too!
OK somehow this list needs to be put in every new mums Bounty Bag before they go home. So they have a heads up. Brilliant.
I don’t have kids, but I am a Godfather twice over, which is good, as it means I can shoot people.Oh sorry Tim, wrong type of Godfather… I’m sure Mia, that you have been a wonderful parent,anyway. It’s all part of life’s rich tapestry, being up for the 3AM feed,surely?….
One detail that I wish I had known prior to having kids was how superbly idealistic I was.
For example, my beliefs/rules about raising kids before having children:
1. Kids will not interfere with my life, They will learn to fit into my schedule.
2. My children will be impeccably groomed. All the time.
3. I will find parenthood to be completely fulfilling, I am finally going to be living with purpose.
4. I will love every minute of kiddy play, and I will be inventive and complete many craft projects with my angels.
5. No licensed product will ever, ever, ever, ever enter this house.
6. My children will not watch television until the age of 6.
7. After an extended period of breastfeeding my children will only eat organic, nutritionally balanced meals.
8. Mothers do not scream at their children in shopping centres. They have quiet discussions once they get home and the erratic behaviour is nipped in the behind.
9. Speaking of behinds, i will never smack my child. It breeds anger.
10. My husband and I will spend hours laughing at our childs antics, whilst he/she plays carefully and happily in the next room with lego as we finish reading our weekend papers. The child then of course packs up the lego.
11. My children will listen to me.
12. I will adore my children. For ever and always.
What actually happens now.
1. I have no personal schedule. My schedule is my kids schedule. I have been known to lie on my bed for 2 hours in the middle of the day just so they can lie on me and go to sleep. I leave adult engagements just to get home to get them into bed and not break their sleep routine.
2. I brush my kids hair maybe once a month. Food from 2 years ago still seems to be stuck on their face and my daughter has yoghurt in her hair. All of the time.
3. The kids were only two weeks old and I was searching on SEEK and ringing my old boss begging to take me back. When my husband would try to reverse the car and head to work I would be standing in the middle of the driveway blocking his exit.
4. I have been known to hide in the pantry, the toilet, the walk-in-robe and underneath the study desk just to get away from my kids and their mind-numbing games. I threw the craft box away on their second birthday.
5. My kids own Barbies, Diegos, Doras, Cabbage Patch Kids, Spiderman Pyjamas, Superman suits, Snow White crowns, Cinderalla shoes and Tinkerbell dress-ups. My daughter refused to wear anything but a Bonds hoodie to kinder when it was 4 degrees and they were playing outside. I subsequently bought her a Dora Jacket and she hasn’t taken it off since and she is warm as toast.
6. The television as a babysitter. They watched their first Wiggles show when they were 6 months old.
7. I was only able to breastfeed for four days and my kids eat tinned spaghetti and flat processed plastic cheese. Regularly.
8. I’ve screamed at my kids in a shopping centre, a supermarket, a clothing store, ikea, kmart…
9. Still haven’t resorted to a smack. Yet. But who knows…
10. I have only just read a weekend paper from front to back. My first one in four years. That’s because the kids were watching TV. I am so over picking up lego. I now vacuum it up.
11. I have resorted to threats just to get my kids to listen to me. I have a ‘listening to Mum’ rate of about 12%. On a good day.
12. I adore my children. Almost always.
Oh Mia… all so true! I would like to add I hate having to listen to my kids read home readers (and I’m a teacher!)
And don’t get me started on the morning thing… ugh!
Oh… and just to make us all feel better, a lot of newish research says children need time play alone, or with other kids, uninterrupted, unaided, unscripted by adults! So we are all really just giving our kids a heads up!
P.S… the bit about making your heart clench with love… well, made my heart clench with love : )
My mum used to dress us in the clothes my (interstate) nana made for us precisely once – to take a photo to send. Then they would get packed away forever. She meant well but they were disgusting (one combo appeared to be made from a potato sack!).
I don’t have much to add to this but would love to win the DVDs for my sister who is expecting TWINS. Hopefully I will be able to borrow them back from her soon.
LOL…..just as I was reading this my 5 year old said “Mummy when are you going to play Polly Pockets with me?” my response was “In a sec” whilst my internal response was “NEVER”…..why is playing so annoying now that I am an adult!!
Nice post! I totally agree.
Love the bit about play. Being bored by getting down on the floor – esp. with toddlers – can make you feel like such a bad mum. You do it, but feel like you should be totally fulfilled by it too.
I like the thought that kids will need us all through life (I hope). Can we really expect that the mum who is fantastic at the Leg0-farmyard-playdough stage will also be the mum who handles teenage talks with calm and insight?
It’s the guilt- if we’re not super-mum in every way, thats the way that will damage the kids for life…
LIke your new profile picture.
Rachael
Ohhhhhhhh the ugly clothes are the bane of my life. Hideous. Always a present from the same person. The rule is the more hideous the clothing the more the child will love it and insist on wearing it. I know it sounds ungrateful but seriously, if an ounce of thought went into it they would see that my children do not wear Hi-5, Dora, Bob the builder, Hannah Montanna or tween hooker clothing.
PS Love your new profile pic – hot!
Oh Mia, I so relate to Numbers 1 and 11. My son Jason would get hooked on a fave book and I would have to read it night after night ad nauseam and he always knew if even one word had been left out as I would try to skip over parts! As to parks and playgrounds, I hated them. I always thought I was a bad mother as I couldn’t wait to leave but they bored me senseless and there would always be screaming by my son when it was time to leave with me literally having to drag him from the wretched park and feeling guilty afterwards.
Here is point number wherever we are up to. No-one warns you that your kids will push a joke well past the point when it stops being funny, so to be careful what you teach them. I taught my 4 yr old son to point at his bottom and say “bite this” to any nosy person in the street, park, playcentre who tells him he can’t do something (perfectly ok things, not naughty things). It was cute and funny 9 months ago, but he is still saying it — mostly to me when I ask him to do something — just about every day. And then there’s the classic one of saying “is that a duck walking past” when he farts. My husband taught him that and we get it 20 times a day, as does his granny. Hmmmm.
Rebecca, I have that book too!! It freaks me out and my kids just love it (also the song sticks in my head).
My addition would be ‘while pregnant you will make a list of how you are going to bring up your children eg, no TV, no sugary food, no junk food, you promise that every hour of the day will be exciting and creative. When the kids come along you will find yourself at times giving into bad food, too much TV and that playing shop keeper with a 3 year old is not that exciting’…
PS I thought I was the only one who gets bored at the park!
totally agree with your comments – I suggest finding parks with no swings making the child not dependant on you at all -
-my only question is why punish yourself over and over and over with three kids? Surely after one you get that it will always be like this – school plays, speech nights, ballet concerts footy matches – first boyfriends/girlfriends dumpings- teaching them to drive, marriages, divorces – you would stop at one and realise what a terrible mistake you may have made
Good luck from Mother of 2 (also stupid)
God I love this post Mia – how great to know I don’t have to feel like a bad mother for being soooo bored pushing my daughter on the swing for half an hour most days that I wish I had brought my book so I could read at the same time. How many times can you say ‘whooosh!!!’?
And also – I usually feel so guilty about not being creative and making our own home made games/puzzles/counting/learning activities which teach your child to write/talk/count/be very clever earlier than everyone else. I wont allow painting cause the idea of the mess freaks me out!
I shall not feel alone anymore, thanks Mia…
Janey, it is not all that bad, you will love being a mum as most mums do, but there will come a day when as a parent you will remember this post and go, ah, yes.
BTW Mia, I like your new profile pic, nice.
So true. Another thing I didn’t expect as a mother was to be in a perpetual state of mild anxiety. My daughter is 10 months. I am 38 and MY mother says it never ends ; )
Luurrrved this post Mia! Hmmm…things nobody told me about…Nobody told me that when I told my MIL “Don’t give the kids chocolate”, all she would hear from that sentence is “Give Kids Chocolate”. Nobody told me that there would be issues with me making a cup of coffee and then actually DRINKING IT. Before it went cold. Nobody told me that after giving birth (particularly if you’re a bit slack with your pelvic floor exercises) sneezing, laughing, coughing and jumping on a trampoline will make you very, very nervous. Nobody told me about the sense of dread that goes through your body when you hear your toddler/s utter the words “Uh Oh”….
….but it’s not all bad; far from it. As I write about these things, I am laughing. As a lot of you have already said, the good far, FAR outweigh the bad. People told me how you’d never love anything more than your kids, your life would change and things will never be the same again, but nobody told me how PROUD I’d be to be a mum and have kids, and this wonderful feeling makes all that other stuff (even MIL feeding my kids chocolate) bearable xxxx
Yes to all these things. Although I have to spend 20 minutes most morning trying to wake my 3 year old up so I can leave for work at 8.30am (she is like a teenager sometimes!)
Anyway – like everyone else, there are good bits – when she says things like ‘Mummy, you are my best friend’. The cutest…
And Mia – your new pic is FANTASTIC!!
So true!!!
#9 – kids are little comedians. I love how my daughter says stop… “shop mummy shop!”…well okay then, if you insist!
well i think it’s funny anyway ;p
I’m not a mother and don’t intend to be any time soon (age 20) but thanks for the heads up for the future Mia, I’m certain my mum will agree with those points. And re: the new photo – very nice!! You look gorgeous, especially loving the hat.
Oh! And when I return stuff, I do buy my daughter something else instead. Just to clear that up. So all my returns are indeed spent on her.
AND! (I love this post Mia) Eastern Europeans (i.e. my husband’s huge family) are into giving kids sugary gifts as food WHENEVER THEY SEE THEM. Such a major pain in the arse! I am known in the husbands family as food nazi lady because I always politely decline. Sugar cubes dipped in turkish coffee for toddlers. Hip hip hooray – ‘cos my kid doesn’t have enough hyper-ness people!
I have returned countless clothing gifts given to my toddler (without receipts) because they’re so ugly! I know that sounds so rude, but really, any shoes with Dora logos or clothes for that matter are seriously fug. I don’t do licenced kids clothing – ugh.
My mother in law bought my 2 year old a SILVER SHINY KNEE LENGTH TRENCH COAT (no word of a lie) for her 2nd birthday. By far the ugliest piece of clothing she’s ever received. I told the MIL that my 2 year old hated it (which she did) so we were better off returning it and purchasing something she’d actually wear. I left out the part about it HURTING MY EYES…
It’s still on the sale racks in Pumpkin Patch if anyone has a silver coat thing…
Janey, I think it’s kinda like the news – it’s the bad news that makes people talk while the happy stories kinda get swept under rug.
While parenthood certainly has its bad bits, it’s the good bits that you’ll remember fondly in years to come…
One such good bit this morning, my Miss Nearly Three saying “Mummy, I really, really love you!” That’s the stuff parenthood is made of.
What about those songs!??
I recently blogged about my hubby whistling/humming and at times singing ‘I’m a hoopdy-doing-kinda-guy’. The songs don’t go away when the DVD or CD is turned off . It’s torture!
And how you might spend the same if not more money on Yo GabbaGabba or Hi-5 concerts as you once did going to Pink Floyd… and it’s at the same venue.
I suppose everyone to some extent has grandiose ideas about how MY child will fit into MY lifestyle. Um. Reality check!
For me, I didn’t realise how offended I’d feel seeing that all the ‘girls’ toys’ were pink and washing machines/prams/kitchens/ironing boards. Why don’t they make boys ones of these!!?? Blue ones with a surfer or dinosaurs or something!!
Thanks, Liz! That makes it sound better. I just find that people like to point out the bad things first. Or perhaps I’m simply suffering from an overflow of pregnancy hormones today.
Way. Too. Funny.
Gee I feel better that I am not alone in hating to play 12 hours a day! Truthfully, I’ve been feeling guilty about this!
THANK you for #10! It is GREAT to hear that other women feel the same way I do about so many of your 11 things because spending too much time with my sister-in-law (who is the opposite of this list) makes me feel like a loser! Thanks so much for putting it out there!
I keep telling my children that mummy isn’t a morning person but damn it if they DO NOT LISTEN!
Do I sound tetchy? That’s because I was summonsed to make weetbix at 4.45am!!
Hehehe point 1 just reminded me of an incident from my childhood- does anyone else remember the 80’s British kid’s show,Sooty? Sooty had a friend called Sweep, who could only communicate through high pitched squeeks. At age 6,I thought Sooty and his little tribe of friends were just about the coolest thing going around, so I watched them RELENTLESSLY- until my Mum banned any further viewing of Sooty in our house! At the time I thought she was just so awful for such an unjust ruling – but now? Full credit to her for putting up with it for as long as she did!
Yes Janey,
Parenthood is wonderful and the good outweighs the bad 100 times over. Like when they climb into bed with you first thing in the morning all snuggly, sleepy and loving. Or when they hug you tightly around the neck and say, “I love you Mummy” or “You’re the best Mummy in the whole world” for no reason at all. Or when they make you breakfast when you’re tired, or give you a cuddle when you’re sad. The list is endless.
My boys are now 6 and 10 and my husband and I enjoy playing, reading, holidaying and spending time with them now, more than anyone else.
Janey, it’s not all bad! They will make you laugh everyday, often with the silliest things that you never thought funny before.
The park so far for us has been great, we live in an area of small terrace houses, so everyone goes to the park, so it is a great catch up/gossip place.
I have to agree with all of your points, but would like to add “Playgroup” to the list. While I think it is wonderful for the kids and I dutifully took mine for years, I dreaded and loathed it every single week! It’s a combination of almost everything on your list. It’s in the morning, with a park attached, where you have to play, read books and do craft all in a location outside of your well-equipped home.
Nobody tells you…Motherhood is so thankless, but not rewardless thank goodness. The sun shines out of Daddy’s bottom, he is the “fun” parent because he only does it for an hour a day, and because he works more, he is also “clever” whereas I am just “soft” according to my 3 year old. Being taken for granted is, of course, the way it should be, but my God it is hard to stomach sometimes!
Great post Mia!
I’m due for my first baby in December. After reading this my heart sunk a little. There was really only one point that was remotely positive.
Surely you have something good to say about raising children?
Mia, I love that scarf in your new pic!!! Where’s it from? Such a gorgeous colour.
hehe- This list is hilarious- great job!
I’d love the DVD too- my darling naive husband believes parent hood will be one big fun happy time- i don’t want to push the truth yet- bubs will do that when it arrives in February!
The things that nobody told me about parenting?
1. How absolutely heart wrenching it is to watch your child go through emotional pain that you can’t do anything to fix – the worst !
2. That my daughter would grow up to be exactly the same size as me, and would steal all of my fave clothes & shoes – very soon after I have purchased them.
My son is absolutely in love with trucks and construtction, every time we play a game or read a book – it’s all about digging and scooping and rolling, I am so over pointing out and getting super excited over every concrete mixer or crane or…. Oh please shoot me now!
That being said, I love drawing an colouring with my kid (even if I’m asked to draw a truck or road), he is still a little young for craft but I cannot wait to get our fingers stuck in some clay or flag and create some toddler masterpieces!
Very useful tips, thanks Mia. The “morning person” one struck a cord… I woke up at 10:30 today. I’ve convinced my husband that I will magically transform into a smiling, humming, pleasant morning person as soon as bub arrives (Aug/Sept) but I know full well it’s a lie… but to keep my expiring sleep in’s I think it’s worth it.
I’d love to win the DVD
Mia, stop being so good looking.
Hi Mia
Cheers
This is so true. It is great to see someone writing about some of the ‘real’ aspects of parenting. I think its fair to add
‘even though we all say we won’t let our kids watch tele at some point we resort to it to gain some peace and quiet, escape having to play for the millionth time or do a few chores’
Thanks again for a great blog
Carolyn
PS I would love to win one of those DVD packs they sound great….
Lu, I agreee! Of course noone thinks your child is as interesting as you do, but isn’t it sooo annoying (and insulting) when you ask about someone elses children and listen to stories of how funny, cute, great-at-everything they are and then they don’t ask you about yours!! (Who are of course funnier, cuter and better-at-everything).
i honestly thought i would suddenly love playing games with my daughter, but not so…i do enjoy reading a book to her though. and she’s still too little to demand books i don’t like!
and since people don’t seem to be putting their hands up for the dvd – i would love one for my lovely hubbie! thanks.
I agree with all of these, especially numbers 2 and 10. I am always so grateful when other women admit they loathe playing make believe or dress ups or any number of activities they re required to partake in post motherhood. The one bright light for me is I do like board games and so I am trying very hard to interest my son in them too.
And every time my son gives me The Poky Little Pup to read before bed, I want to kcry and drnk myself into oblivion.
Kelly
I hate parks and I thought I was the only one! I avoided them when my kids were little. Only time I would suggest meeting at the park was when I was meeting a friend whose children were a little wild and I didnt want them in my house.
I think 13 should be:- Nobody will think your child is as cute or interesting as you do. Dont bore them with details, because they’re not really that interested. We have a friend who emails us photos of their children and titles them ‘the little mans birthday’ or ‘the princesses first day at kindy’ which is kind of irritating when the recipient has ‘little men’ or ‘princesses’ of their own.
yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!
Dear mia. An addition to point 3 is: there will be clothes of your child’s that they picked out themselves, which you’ll loathe.
P.S Mia, I like the new profile picture!
I think my parents will agree with a lot of these points, however my obsession was not a book, but the ‘ning nong nang’ song…
After a few hours in the car on the way home from Queensland my dad made an unplanned detour past the airport and told my mother and I to find our own way home!! Totally understandable.
I agree wholeheartedly with all of your points Mia! Especially the holidays. We just packed up 5 kids and dog for long weekend at the beach, yes it was great but got home Monday night and have only JUST THIS MORNING finished unpacking. The other thing I wasn’t prepared for is homework and projects! My eldest is in Year 6 now and unfortunately it appears my retained maths facts ended at Year 5, he asked me what a seven sided shape was and I said oh that’s a sevenagon???? When they are 10 they just dont believe everything you say anymore, it’s devastating!
I am so guilty of No.9.
Here’s proof: http://mykidisfunny.blogspot.com
Love your new profile pic. From Shop til you drop shoot?
I relate to all these points. The crap books and clothes go to the op shop for some other parent to deal with and going to parks is men’s business.
Of all the points above #9 is the one that I really didn’t appreciate, pre-kids. Kids are piss-yourself-laughing-funny. Especially if it is your own kids.
What I do wish people would tell you before having kids is the evaporation of time. After you spoon feed, change nappies, apply bandaids, make cakes for kinder stalls, clean up playdoh, wash wash wash, you will suddenly realise the sun is setting and it is time for bath, pjs, books and bed. String together a fews of these days/weeks/months and suddenly it is 2009 and your are still writing 2008 on everything.
I’m a bit of a sucker for craft and playing with my boys (pretend camping, picnic, hide and seek)- BUT as I work full time and only get to do this with them of a weekend I tend to overcompensate for not being around during the week, and it also stops me from doing housework (see I’m not really a MOTY finalist).
Not fussed about going to the park though – walking with a 3 year old is tediously slow and then he decides “carry me!!”.
One extra thing for your list Mia:
12. No one told me that you can never get the smell of wee out of your lounge. Ever.
hehehe – couldn’t agree more. In fact, I used to think of my three days of part time work as my “days off”.
I love my kids, and enjoyed many aspects of their early years, however, i love my 15 year old and 13 year old now and the 8 year old is getting more like a person every day – LOL
Too funny and too true.
If I have to read “diary of a wombat ” again I will shoot myself.
Mmmmm must go and hide it immediately…or maybe I could lose it in the park.
Ditto the park and play. Can’t wait til Miss Nearly 3 can swing herself…freedom!
I especially agree with #1 about the books, was anyone else given the freaky book called “Love you Forever” by Robert Munsch? I cannot stand it.
Disagree with points #10 and #11. I am more than content playing trains/lego/blocks/craft etc for hours. I am very also fond playgrounds and Wizzy World.
These are great! I thought I was the only one who gets bored in a park – so happy to discover it’s not so…
… but I will confess to enjoying play: embarassingly, I get quite competitive over the Snakes and Ladders board.
Thanks for the list, Mia!
Yep, agree with every single word – and the book thing? Feel even more strongly about kid’s tv. Managed to get my child through her toddler years blissfully unaware about the existence of Barney or the Hooley Dooleys {don’t know why I couldn’t bear them, but they made my flesh crawl…}
And craft? Oh, I so don’t do craft – I will run, horrified at the mere mention of the word. I was crap at it as a child, and I haven’t improved one iota!
Wow Mia – how on earth did you get into my mind and recount my thoughts so accurately?.
Brilliant post – thank you!
Oh my goodness, I could not agree more. Especially parks and playing. Now that they’re big enough to talk to and cook with and do INTERESTING things with, I could hang out with them forever. But in the early years, park was left to Dad and playing, hmmm, I think I must have left them to it. I still raid their piggy banks some times.