Is the only thing making fat people unhappy, the prejudice of everyone else?
Do you like this story?
This is British writer Tanya Gold and she thinks the answer to this question is yes.
This week it emerged in the UK that overweight women are more likely to be fired
from their jobs than other women. They are also more likely to be a
victim of crime and more likely to be bereaved.
Fed up with being
pitied, patronised and blamed, this
self-confessed larger lady, Tanya has written a defiant blast against our obsession with slimness and what she sees as a persecution of fat people.
"For many months now, it has been clear that I'm at war with
society. Or rather, that society is at war with me. Call me paranoid if
you must but everywhere I look, I am denounced, oppressed and scolded.
This week alone, it emerged that I am more likely to be fired from my
job than other women. I am also more likely to be a victim of crime and
more likely to be bereaved.
According to the advertising
industry, I am unattractive; men don't want me. Or if they do, they
certainly won't tell their friends about it. Clothing shops don't cater
for me. In fact, they detest me. In Bond Street, I am literally waved
away from the racks of precious clothes.
I will probably be a bad mother, I am
told. I am stared at on the Tube, as if I have two heads. Even those
who pride themselves on their compassion are happy to join in my public
torment.
In the newspaper this week, a columnist called people like
me losers and suspected that we have feelings of 'worthlessness' and
wondered if we have suffered 'traumatic life events'.
And what is
my terrible crime? What have I done to deserve this outpouring of scorn
and opprobrium? Eaten too much, that's all. I have breached one of the
boundaries of polite society with my giant bottom. Yes, ladies and
gentleman, I am fat.
You want to know how fat? OK, I am a size 16 and I weigh 14 stone. And at the moment, most of that is rage.
I
have written about my yo-yoing weight many times in this newspaper. I
have written fashion pieces and health pieces and reports about diets I
have tried. I have done juice fasts, yoghurt fasts, and a diet where I
had to chew a lot (I chewed so much my jaw muscles bulged out of my
head).
I have written many jokes
about my weight - far too many jokes, I am afraid. They were funny,
yes - 'Some people go out for a Chinese. Last week I ate China!' -
but when I read back over them, I realise that I wrote them partly as
an apology for myself.
It was as if I was saying: 'I'm fat,
reader, but will you forgive me if I'm funny? I may not be decorative,
but I'm amusing! Doesn't that count for something?' . But
now I have had enough. I have had an epiphany. I
am 34 years old and I am fed up of apologising for myself. I am also
fed up of trying to change.
Obesity may be dangerous to one's health – but so is skiing. Perhaps I'll always be fat. Perhaps I have a lifetime of largeness
ahead of me. Perhaps I will waddle a lonely, fat road towards death, as
society expects me to.
Here's a thought: what if the only barrier between me and my future
happiness is not my tsunami of flesh but your giant prejudice?"
Read the rest of the article here…
Perhaps she has a point. I heard on the radio last week that in a landmark case in Canada, the supreme court has ruled that obsese people do not have to buy two seats when they fly – something the airlines were trying to make them do. I found myself thinking "hang on, if they take up more than one seat, shouldn't they have to pay for it? But then I thought 'Wait, maybe that's not fair. Isn't it persecuting them because of their size? A small person doesn't have to pay half!"
Is blaming an obese person for being fat the same as telling an anorexic to 'just eat something'?
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Big-boob prejudice: does it exist?
Shameless plug for my blog! I wrote about this issue last week and would love to hear what fellow mamamia fans think: http://threepiecesuite.blogspot.com/2009/03/were-here-were-fat-get-used-to-it.html
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The wieght issue is very much another of those overhyped ones, IMHO.
I am a size 14, go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week, walk everywhere that I can get to inside of an hour, and have had 2 children.
But, according to my BMI, I am overweight. I freely admit, I could lose my spare tyre (put on when I was unable to do a damn thing due to illness) but I am working on that. At a healthy rate, and with my doctor’s supervision.
Should I be penalised because I am no longer the svelte Size 8 I was prior to pregnancy and menopause? I’d like to see someone try. The advantage of my extra weight is that I have more to throw at someone who offends me (just ask my husband how that goes)!
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Wow, I’m a little shocked at some of the comments here. Fat people do not deserved to be treated like this at all. How dare we judge them when we don’t know anything about them? Would we judge a skinny person? A tall person? A short person? Based on how they looked? No we wouldn’t. So why would we mock, and judge large people? Sad sad world we live in now.
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WOW. That was a good article. I loved it. Really interesting to read her perspective. I used to work in the diet industry so clientele were all overweight and it’s a complex water to navigate. Very true that in ancient times fatter types were found attractive. Modern lifestyle does mean we are horrificly obsessed with being “perfect” however I’m 100% certain not all women were as curvy as those pale paintings would have us believe ~ they had to walk so far just for water, exercise much more then us etc how could they not be toned without going to the gym; maybe the skinnys envied the fat Roman wives and mistresses! I really think once you stop caring what people think or if that’s too hard stop obsessing over calories and enjoy life a la “French Women don’t get Fat” method your experience of life is so much more rewarding. I also find the mentality seems worse in a Puritan based culture eg. England and subsequently America and Australia. Gluttony in old times was considered a sin and disapproved of leading to a complex constant battle with food for some. Whereas in Europe “Greedy” is an affectionate word. And people have a much healthier outlook on their figures. She may indeed have a point regarding prejudice though. Fascinating to hear obesity compared to a social slight such as racism once upon a time or feminism even. And yes I too heard the news about the Canada airplane seat. Astonishing. A sign of the times re acceptance or indulgence..? I suppose only time will tell.
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Mel, Cath, Zoe and Britts all make very good points here. I’m a skinny, especially for my age; I ride and care for horses, and like Taryn’s husband, am into distance running – but so far thankfully have not had to resort to any outside assistance to fix me up! (I go to my GP every two years for the dreaded “roadworthy”, have the 2-yearly breast scan, and that’s it! I also donate blood every 12 weeks)
I too have a rather big Thing about the current epidemic of Obesity that seems to be rampaging through our society. It’s really scary.
However, I believe that not everybody is destined to be the same size… we’re different heights, different builds, different bone sizes and structures, and some of us are very active, some not very, and some have health issues, while others are just plain lazy and/or greedy. So all these features make for lots and lots of different sized and shaped women (and men, of course) What I’m getting at, is that it’s perfectly possible to be healthy without being an Olympic athlete, or similar! But being obese is NOT healthy. Not, not, not.
I don’t think women should throw the towel in about their weight and appearance – don’t give up trying to look good – for yourself mainly, as well as possibly your partner and children. You can look lovely even if you’re not super-model thin – but you must be healthy.
I know a lady who must be in her 60s, who was enormously obese for many years, and one day she decided to do something about it. I think she did WW, and she kept it up, worked her way up to walking about 10km a day, and comletely changed her whole approach to eating. Now she’s a really healthy shape and size, and looks great, and so radiant. I applaud her so much, because she looked the sort of person who would never lose weight, and who would end up having a massive heart attack. If this lady could lose that amount of weight, then ANYBODY can! You just need the right advice, the right support, and the right willpower, then go for it! Believe in yourself!
There isn’t an easy answer for the airline seat issue – the meanie in me says “Let the huge people pay for two seats!” While the compassionate person in me says they deserve to be comfortable. BUT I’m darned sure I would not want to be squished all over on even a short-haul flight by some monstrously fat person taking up MY bloomin’ seat as well as their own!
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If there’s one issue that can make me angry beyond anything imaginable, it’s size.
This is a provocative issue nowadays, and it really, really shouldn’t be, as far as I’m concerned. I have been on both sides of the scales. I have been both anorexic and hospitalised for it, and overweight, and I can tell you that it is absolutely incredible the way you are treated in those contexts. When I was overweight, I was treated like a subhuman and I thought of myself as subhuman. There were no clothes around that didn’t make me look around 50 years older than I was. I remember once walking into a shop that sells dance wear to buy something for my cousin, and the sales assistant actually managed to laugh at me for daring enter the store. It was the most horrific time of my life.
And then there was the anorexia. It was shocking. I had a similar experience to you, Britts. What I remember most is that I was so appalling skinny, so skeletal and clearly unhealthy… and men would still eye me up with that sleazy look in their eye, regardless of the fact that I was 14, because I had managed to keep my boobs throughout the weightloss. That was pretty offensive too, but no one ever made public condemnations on my weight like what happened when I was overweight. It was simply odd glances and shocked expressions from women and leers from men.
Also, I don’t really like the phrase, “Is blaming an obese person for being fat the same as telling an anorexic to ‘just eat something’?” That implies that both things are choices. Firstly, anorexia is a mental disorder and not a choice. And secondly, I don’t think anyone chooses to be fat. I think we as a society make people be fat in our changing lifestyles and ideas of what people should look like. If we maybe broadened our expectations on what people should look like, it may not be such a big deal.
As for the health crisis around it – there is also evidence that it sucks for long-term health to do sport everyday, smoke, drink, take prescription and/or illegal drugs, listen to music too loudly, sit at a desk for 8 hours a day, drive everywhere, and get too much or too little sun. Obesity may be a serious problem, but it is among a myriad. There is absolutely no point blaming those who become obese because – as most of those things do as well – they do not create the inactive lifestyle, the expensive fresh food and inexpensive fast food and so on, that have made the issue what it is.
As for the airline seats… they could just do everyone a favour and make the damn seats bigger with some extra breathing room. I’m a normal size now, and still don’t particularly enjoy the size of those stupid things.
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Tara – I completely agree with your comment!
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I agree with Mel. I think that when you have a hang up about something – you see it everywhere. If the fat prejudice annoys Tanya – then why doesn’t she ignore it or god forbid – lose some weight?
I’ve had friends who were convinced they had huge ears but I never noticed it until they pointed it out. I’ve also struggled to fall pregnant and at that point I felt like the entire world was pregnant or had a baby – except for me.
I agree that our society values being slim and youthful – but I just think that Tanya’s problem is her being angry with herself.
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In all honesty, there is nothing worse than sitting next to an obese person on an aeroplane. I recently spent 24 joyous, touchy feely, long haul hours in this position, mashed against the edge of my seat. As lovely as this woman was, I was cranky(OK very cranky) that half of my very expensive seat was being occupied by someone other than me.
I’m not sure I support obese people having to buy 2 tickets to fully accomodate their girth, but then again, I’m damn sure I don’t want to be in that position again.
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Firstly, I agree with what Mel posted.
I have had to really watch my weight all my life, and after having 3 kids I have ‘dieted’ my way up to a size 16, not where I want to be and I am currently doing ww’s and know I’ll be my old self again by March next year.
My point, I am not a strain on the health system at my current weight. My husband is a very fit man…runs marathons, mountain races etc and we are fortunate that his medical expenses are covered through his employer (Government) because he is forever having physio and seeing vascular specialists etc because of his chosen sport, so by all accounts shouldn’t he be outed as a ‘drain on the health system’?
I guess my point is healthy people can require just as much medical attention as obese people, it’s just a different type of need.
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I think it is important to note that being overweight and being healthy are not mutually exclusive concepts.
As Britts has just shared – she is skinny but not healthy. I however am a size 16 on a bad day and 14 on a good day, however I go to the gym 3 times a week and have just completed a gruelling boot camp.
Surely the debate needs to be about gaining health rather than losing weight?
Its very easy to rant about obesity and its effects on society – yes thank you, we all know the risks and trust me, we feel burdened enough just carrying our occasionally lardy arses around without adding the weight and future of health care as we know it to us.
Speaking as a person who will never be a stick insect (not even with a horrendous stomach illness for months) we walk a very fine line.
As a progressive woman I feel I should embrace my curves and wear them with pride. Screw the skinnies and the men who don’t wolf whistle or turn their heads!
But then the self doubt creeps in and i think that maybe, just maybe my life will be better if I lose 10 kilos, get a better job, find a better man, get a new haircut and a fabulous wardrobe and maybe my pesky thighs are all that have been holding me back for all these years…
So I can totally understand where Tanya comes from. SHe’s big, she’s mad and she’s got a national newspaper as her conduit. I don’t think she’s just another unhappy fatty boombalada, i think she makes some genuine points about the way society judges people who are obese.
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This comment makes me sad..
Sad because I’m at the other end of the spectrum and am (in all honesty) an unhealthy size 6. My body is not naturally shaped to be a size 6, as I used to be a size 10 when I wasn’t conscious of everything I ate and was just generally happier with myself.
This post makes me sad because unfortunately, Tanya Gold would be stared at on the street and receive many rude comments – whereas I don’t. I get the occasional comment about my weight, but when I do, it’s not a nasty one. And yet I am just as – if not more – unhealthy than what Tanya would be. Yet because I’m “thin” I don’t cop the same level of crap…
Please don’t attack me for writing this comment – I just thought I’d be completely honest with it and share my view.
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Thanks Gigdiary! If it’s one thing I know, it’s fat.
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I’m sorry, but I can’t support obesity. Obesity is a very real health problem in society today. It’s the fourth highest cause of burden of disease in Australia and has been found to increase the risk of all causes of mortality. It doubles the risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity and Type 2 diabetes, and increases the risk of high blood pressure, colon and breast cancer, osteoporosis, anxiety and depression. Aside from the physical, mental and monetary costs to individuals who are overweight or obese, the direct cost to the Australian health care system has been estimated at $377 million per annum. Also, obesity contributes a societal disease burden comparable to that of smoking. We condemn smoking because of it’s negative consequences for both the individual and society as a whole, so it makes sense to condemn excessive food consumption and lack of physical activity. That does NOT mean condemning the individual for their appearance. It means taking a proactive approach to helping people lead a healthier and happier life, for the benefit of themselves and their community.
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Two seat rule is absolute nonsense. A tall person suffers through economy class or bucks up for business or first class if they must. Why should a fatty get special treatment and disadvantage the poor soul stuck next to them from Melbourne to London?
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Is this research saying that if I were thin I would not have my partner die on me, not lose my job, not get mugged on the street and pretty much get everything I want on a silver platter?
I remember when I was a teenager I would think “Everything in my life would be better if I were thin” which is just utter crap but this kind of research only perpetuates this stupid type of reasoning.
If you are very fat and have a health problem that could be better managed by losing weight then I think you should do something about it. I have no sympathy for those who are eating all the pies and then complaining of sleep apnoea and a bad back. But then if you really dig your cheese and have a happy and healthy life more power to ya.
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Mel, what a champion comment! You write common sense, call a spade a spade, don’t hide behind political correctness, and to boot, your words are funny, self-deprecating and endearing… as I say, what a champion comment!
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Tanya Gold looks quite cute to me, if a bit grumpy! Her clothes are a bit Minnie Mouse, but her look suits her. Size 16 is not that big – I’ve been size 16 post baby, (maybe that’s why I don’t think it’s that big!), and as it’s my birthday and I’m over-indulging a bit, I may well be size 16 again by the end of the week! I don’t think it’s that unusual for women in Australia to be size 16, and I really don’t think women of that size are viewed in as negative a way in this country, in fact I may be wrong, but I reckon sizes 12 – 16 are just about ‘the norm’ for most women post 30ish.
If things are that bad in Britain, I think that’s terrible. On the whole, I don’t think ‘plus sized’ people are just upset about the way they are treated – I’m pretty sure 99.99% of them would like to be slimmer! How often do you see voluptuous ‘role models’ like Symantha Perkins, Kate Fischer, or Kate Ceberano, rejoicing in their ‘curves’ – then a few months later after losing weight via some reality show, saying how much happier they feel? Everyone wants to feel attractive, and it’s harder to feel that way when you can’t buy things off the rack. But the prejudice sure doesn’t help, and I don’t blame people in that situation for being ‘over it’ in a big way.
There are a multitude of reasons people become overweight – some of them basic and easy to address, others (psychological, genetic, and medical) not. So to say it’s everyone’s ‘choice’ to be overweight, is like saying everyone has a choice about whether or not they have an addiction, a serious medical condition, or a mental illness. People would ordinarily never choose to be unhappy, and these things present challenges that often make them unhappy.
It already costs more to buy clothes, and just about everything else if you’re bigger, so
I really applaud the supreme court decision re the ‘two seat’ rule in Canada – Maybe I’ll fly there after lunch. At least I’ll be comfortable.
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It’s a tricky one…mainly because I am a size (australian) 16 and I am, officially, a fatty boomsticks.
I don’t like it but that’s just where I am at right now.
I wouldn’t get angry at everyone or everything however. Yes, I notice that men don’t look at me as much as they did when I was a slim size 12. I was also much more confident when I was a size 12 though, and I looked people in the eye.
That might be the bigger difference.
I’ve know women my size who wear their body shape so damn proud and people actually don’t even realise they are not society’s ideal shape…all you see is their choice in fashion, their nice hair and the personality.
But if I’m really really honest..the thing I hate most of all about this article, is it is just another fat, angry woman who will do no favours for the rest of us. People don’t want to listen to fat people get angry, they just don’t.
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