Having a baby is a little bit harder than remembering to take out the rubbish…..
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I currently have two friends who are pregnant for the first time and
I’ve been trying to remember what that feels like. It’s a struggle.The
conversations I’ve had with each of them have made me giggle but
fortunately, they’ve been mostly via email so my friends are none the
wiser.It’s a very fine line to walk with
pregnant friends or brand new mums. You don’t want to be a know-it-all
and you don’t want to scare them. But it can be highly amusing to be
reminded of what it was like going into your first birth and baby
experience, with all that naivety and false expectations and, well,
cluelessness.
You can read the rest of this post at Essential Baby…..
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My new post is up at Essential Baby…
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Birth plans: waste of time or good idea? Discuss.
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Who’s easier to parent, boys or girls?
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This is not a picture of my stomach (will spare you that) but how cool is it…
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The one where my son told me my skirt was too short…..
I discovered Mia’s blog a couple of months ago and it literally saved my sanity!! I was caught up reading (and re-reading) some parenting sites where opinions could be (to put it politely) extreme. I was starting to feel like I was abnormal as I wasn’t completely obsessed with talking about my child (OK – I’m probably 50% obsessed!) and I was keen to discuss other issues…which could be frivalous and fun to me(like Frockwatch) or serious and thought provoking (discussions about Bill Hanson and the like). So sorry, this is a long winded way of saying I love the blog, the comments of the readers and having an outlet which meets all my different needs!! Thanks Mia!
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Mia, I’m SO glad you defended yourself!
As you said, none of us have to pay to read this blog, but so many of us appreciate that you keep writing ‘out of the goodness of your heart’.
So THANKS
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nice one Mia. he he he
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So what if Mia does or doesn’t wear tracksuit pants out and about. I think some of you people are looking at any topic just to throw in the tracksuit pants comments. I thought this blog was about pregnancy, child birth and what advice friends should be giving mum’s to be.
Who cares if Mia does or doesnt wear trackpants out and about. She has a brain in her head so does it matter that she opts for expensive trackies instead of the old Bonds that we wear? I don’t think so.
Keep up the great blog Mia and you wear whatever the hell you want to.
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This is most excellent news. Clearly there is someone who looks like me but is better dressed, wandering around in the vicinity of Gigi and confusing her into thinking I would bother to fake my tracksuit confession.
Admittedly, today I was not wearing tracksuit pants. I was wearing cargo pants held together at the waist with a rubber band because I cannot be bothered with maternity pants. I accessorised my look with ugg boots. And a beanie. And decided my relationship with fashion is reaching a new low and juxtaposing nicely with my ‘massive ego’.
Also, Sophie? Yes, I do have a wardrobe of the ‘latest trends’. Well, not the latest actually. No high-waisted jeans in there. Nor poo-catcher pants. But I have some pretty snazzy threads. A pity then that they don’t get to see the outside of my closet anymore…..maybe one day they will once again be liberated.
So nice of you both to drop by for a slag-off. Freedom of speech always welcome. Fortunately for you both, this blog is free and written out of the goodness of my heart. And ego. I’d compensate you for your time but, well, I don’t want to.
Cheers
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Oh Lu, I was just like your friends until I had my own baby….one of my finest moments was buying a girlfriend a completely inappropriate outfits for her newborn..it was handwash or dryclean only! Unlike your friends though I don’t say ‘you have no idea how hard it is’ I say ‘thanks for not scaring me too much and telling me how hard it really is!!’. It’s so true- till you experience it, nothing can prepare you for the good and not so good times!!
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I am really feeling this at the moment. My kids are now all at school, however most of my friends are just dealing with their first baby or are pregnant with their first.
The ones who 8 years ago told me to ‘just express some milk, get a babysitter and come out with us’ are now complaining to me and saying things like ‘you have no idea how hard it is’! Really ?
I do want to laugh.
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Im with you Nicole, the truth is always the best option. I stay quiet (a challenge for me!) when women i dont know well are speaking about this subject if they have not had children. But if ask directy i will never lie. People who know me know they will get a honest and ‘tell it like it is’ response and so are therefore prepared for the truth. Being honest is not being cruel, you can be honest and considerate of women’s fears but i dont agree with painting a romantic picture of childbirth or the following sleep deprived weeks, because if that is honestly what women are expecting and they have a hard time, they are more likely to feel like a failure.
Its important to encourage and support women to be strong, ask for help if they need it and expect the unexpected. I needed my ‘sistas’ throughout the transition to parenthood (esp the lasagnes left on the front porch after 4 weeks no sleep, encouraging phone calls, and 5 minutes to myself as they walked my unsettled newborn around the block.
If your lucky enough to have a seamless birth and sleepy bub, isnt it better to expect it to be more difficult than what your experiencing than those who are told it to be a breeze and end up shocked with how tough it can be?
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Somehow, it seems that the Essential Baby blogs raise the most negative comments…
I found the article pretty spot on. I remember being pregnant with my first child, and I appreciated being told the truth from friends. I heeded their advice to take those last few weeks of pre-motherhood to spend doing things I enjoy, and resting as much as possible, and that’s the advice that I pass on to any new mums that ask now. You don’t get to do that with any subsequent pregnancy.
Being a new mother requires adjusting to a completely different life to what you are used to. There’s no real way to prepare for it, but if you have supportive friends who can sympathise with you and listen, it makes the transition easier. Like Mia said, it’s still wonderful, just in a different way.
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I love your blog, Mia! Even with your “massive ego” (I don’t know why I find that so funny) thank you for creating a space where we can unleash our own egos and say what we think and giggle along the way!
Now every woman who has spent half and hour doing her make-up for a “I’m not wearing make-up” look raise your hand.
See? Everyone has a little massive ego inside of themselves!
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please don’t listen to these people Mia, I’m a stay at home Mum and I don’t get to talk to women about this stuff anymore, this is my lifeline. Anyway I felt really ripped off that no-one told me any truths about motherhood but it may be too late once their pregnant really.
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wow – do you think that’s why mia writes a blog? to feed her own ego? that’s an interesting way of looking at it. may be she’s like that but who cares we enjoy her blog don’t we?
i’ve been a fan of mia’s since i was a young girl and i’ve followed her career through the magazines and i always always love what she writes because as i can usually relate to it (except for baby stuff, i’m not a mum) i always like the take she puts on things. how is mia different now to when she used to write stuff for mags (and still does for paper print) or when she’s interviewed on tele for her ‘opinion’ … she’s an opinion writer and to me that’s what her blog is about. she’s being a girl chatting about girl stuff and giving her opinion … i don’t view her blog as an ego boost … it’s funny, informative and ‘on-trend’ … we get to gossip about ‘stuff’ amongst ourselves … good on us!!!
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Hey let Sophie have a say. Mia has a sense of humour, but she is certainly more conceit about her self that she lets you believe. I’ve seen her around, and it’s bull crap that she wears trackies out an about. Actually, maybe cool once that cost $200.
And all that self deprecating stuff that she writes about occasionally is just to appeal to an average person. As she has said her self, she has a massive ego, and this blog certainly feeds it.
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a girl at work (who is not pregnant of planning to be anytime soon) asked me yesterday if it hurt having a baby. the idea of labour scares her and i remember feeling the same.
i didn’t want to scare this girl but i didn’t think i should lie to her either. so i told her it was painful (i had a natural birth with happy gas) but you get through it because your also excited about finally seeing your baby. as soon as the contractions started i forgot about being scared and just tried to focus on what was happening. all i wanted was to see my little boy come into the world safely. i was still pi$$ed off by how much it hurt but i think maybe some hormones kick in and that helps you get through. i don’t know if other woman felt that, if they had i’d wish they told me.
i remember woman telling me how i didn’t hurt that much and she’d rather give birth than go to the dentist. i thought she was full of $hit. look at the logistics of getting a baby out, there has to be some pain. when she came to see me after the birth she said “god, isn’t it painful.” i could have slapped her. i reminded her of what she always said and she looked embarressed.
i would hate to scare someone, but i’d also hate it if they thought i was a liar. i think you can be honest without crushing someones hopes or frightening them. you just have to choose your words carefully.
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Hey Mia,
I am six months pregnant with my first and you are spot on with your article. A lot of people are out to terrify new mum’s-to-be almost as though they think they are somewhat better than I because I have not experienced it yet myself.
I have a fantastic best friend who has given me to best advice with the intentions not to shock or scare me but to educate me.
She has also told me to go to the movies as often as I can. That’s something she misses dearly.
So thanks for article – I am glad I am following the right advice.
Ps Sophie if you have never been a fan, why start now?
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Hey Sophie, I think you need to lighten up hon..
Mia wasn’t being patronizing or mean spirited at all but she is right. With experience, you can look fondly at the things other first time pregnant mums do because it reminds you of all the funny & dopey things that you did & said when you were there!! Thats all.
Your lifestyle transforms into someone else’s when your first baby arrives…
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mia
ive only recently started reading ur blog…ive never been a fan.
You go on and on about how normal you are and how u love the trackies etc but yet ive seen pics of you in the hottest trends.
nevertheless.. you are not the only woman to have had a baby. and i fidn it very rude that you are somewhat laughing and patronizing your friends.
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ah, Mia, these essential baby posts just get better and better… all too true. i just went back to Europe to see the family and my main goals for the trip were: shower without an audience; and chew food at mealtimes. i achieved them (and a night out with my husband!) and it was great. but then it did come at the price of traveling for 40 hours with two toddlers… by the time we got back i was more exhausted than before we left in the first place
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