Skinny girls are liars.
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The only way a woman past puberty can be thin
is via anorexia or bulimia or drugs. But do they admit this? They do
not. Instead, they lie. They say, “I don’t have an eating disorder”. Oh
puh-lease! They say, “I eat all the time!” Pah! They say “my mother is
skinny too, it’s genetics.” Give me a break! They say, “I try to put on
weight but I can’t.” Yeah, right!
And do we believe them? Hell no. We sneer and we snark and we roll our
eyes because they are liars, aren’t they? Aren’t they? Well, maybe they
aren’t. Maybe, just maybe, some women are naturally thin, in the same
way that some women, no matter how much they diet and exercise, are
naturally bigger.
So why do so many women feel so suspicious and hostile towards our
skinny sisters? Jealousy, perhaps. We envy their will power, their
ability to eat cake without fear or consequence, their fast metabolism
and their teeny tiny bottoms. Is that it?
I have a girlfriend who is very thin. She also has three kids. This rare combination means she’s constantly on the receiving end of veiled accusations disguised as faux concern. “I’m constantly being asked ‘do you ever eat?’ she sighs “even by people I’ve just met and the guy who makes my coffee. One of my friends is obese and can barely lift up her kids. I would never comment on her weight or say I was worried about her health and yet she feels perfectly comfortable introducing me to people as ‘my hungry friend’. She thinks it’s funny.”
My skinny friend (who is not in fact hungry) also has to deal with constantly being told, “you don’t look like you have three kids!” To this, she replies “No-one sent me the memo that you have to be a certain size to be a mother.”
There are very few people we’re allowed to be horrible about any more. This is a good thing. We’ve learnt (well, most of us have learnt) that it’s unacceptable to insult people based on their race, gender, height, age or size – not if they’re overweight, anyway.
But somehow, skinny women fell through the cracks. Maybe because they’re so skinny, get it! Ha ha. See, there you go, that’s a perfect example of an insidious trend: Skinny Bashing. Can you imagine me making a joke about fat people? I never would. But skinny people get no such protection, no such social courtesy because…they’re skinny. It seems to be as simple as that.
I used to be a skinny basher. My intentions were good but I was still guilty. A decade ago, in an attempt to redress the appalling imbalance of female body shapes in magazines, I began to feature larger girls in fashion stories and run empowering features declaring that men preferred “real women with real curves” instead of “a bag of bones”. This was not very empowering to thin women, however. It was insulting. Demonising one body shape in favour of another or labelling one type of woman ‘real’ and another ‘fake’ doesn’t advance the cause of body acceptance, it just shifts the target of discrimination.
After being told this loudly by dozens of thin women who wrote me abusive letters, I quickly adjusted my message and my thinking.
Still, I continue to skim stories about skinny celebrities and their alleged eating disorders and drug use. And yes, sometimes, it’s true. Hello Amy Winehouse. G’day Kate Moss.
But is every skinny celebrity really smoking crack, snorting cocaine or bending over a toilet bowl to stay that way? We certainly make them work overtime to prove they’re not.
Overweight celebrities are never asked to justify their size or even questioned directly about it (until they lose weight) but skinny celebs are fair game. Skinny Bashing is sport.
Challenged repeatedly about her skinniness, Ellen Pompeo revealed to Who magazine in 2006 that she’d increased her kilojoule intake and started weight training to gain kilos. If she could bulk up, she swore, “I would be the happiest girl in Hollywood”.
Sarah Jessica Parker has faced similar interrogation for years. The 43-year-old actress recently insisted to a journalist “I eat everything. I’m just an eater. If it’s free, I honestly eat everything.” She was then forced to detail what she’d had for dinner the previous evening. It was an impressive list. “Last night I had steak and some lamb shank. And I also had some roasted chicken and some cassoulet and some profiteroles and some ice-cream and some cheesecake.”
My first thought when I read this was “bulimia”. My second thought was “that’s not fair and how sad she has to try so hard to prove she’s naturally thin.”
When Kate Bosworth was asked about the Hollywood pressure to look good, she said “I feel like I have more pressure to be bigger – I get shit on all the time for being too small.”
After her four-year relationship with Orlando Bloom ended in 2006 and a family member died, she lost almost 6kg.
She spoke to US Vogue earlier this year about the ensuing accusations of an eating disorder and that she was a terrible role model for her fans. “I would have said, ‘don’t look at this as the standard of some kind of beauty and health.’” She insisted she was never trying to be a role model, she was just going through a stressful time and she lost weight.
I’d love to say I’m cured of my Skinny Bashing but sometimes, when I see a photo of Victoria Beckham I still accidentally growl, “Lord, she’s starving”. And maybe she is. But if so, surely that should inspire pity more than abuse. I’m working on it.
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Rachel Zoe’s digital make-over. Can you tell which is the before shot?
I am naturally skinny (1.7m tall, 53kgs). If you saw my dad & brother, you would realise that I don’t only eat celery sticks or throw up my food!
High school I always felt arkward & gangly, puperty helped me out with a kg or two and by my early twenties I was very comfortable in my own skin. I would laugh along with people joking about my weight (or lack thereof) because it honestly didn’t bother me.
But then I fell pregnant. I gained 10kgs over the course of my pregnancy, which was healthy and my midwife never had any concerns with me or my baby (who, incidently weighed in at 4.2kgs – very healthy indeed) but I spent 9 months constantly defending my health, my baby’s health, my eating habits etc etc
I remember the day I was waiting for a coffee and I was about 33 weeks. I woman asked me how far along I was, and when I told her said at the top of her voice “omg you’re so thin and small, are you sure the baby is healthy and ok”? I was in shock, I didn’t know what to say to her. I have thought of a million come backs since that day, but could only manage to smile at her then run back to my office for a cry in the loo! Of course my baby is ok you loon, and so am I!
Then I had my daughter, and dropped alot of weight. Breastfeeding really took it out of me and I ended up below my pre-pregnancy weight. Suddenly, mothers who I would NEVER EVER in a million years comment on their weight or bodies (because they have just had a baby!!!) decided I was fair game! I stopped going to my mothers group because of the comments! I would never dream of sitting there saying “oh you really haven’t lost much weight…are you eating properly?” to any of the other new mums but they saw constant comments about my body & weight as no problem.
Unfortunately, I think the majority of the time people think they are complimenting me because of the world we live in. But what gets to me is the double standard of being able to comment on one persons body when others is off limits because they “must be struggling with it”.
I have finished breastfeeding now and with a special diet I was able to gain some weight and I’m starting to feel at peace with my body again but wow, I’m really not looking forward to baby number 2!
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I AM A 42YR OLD MOTHER OF TWINS. I WEIGH 40KG AND AM 5FT 6. I HATE BEING SKINNY. I DONT HUG A TOILET BOWL OR STARVE MYSELF. I WOULD LOVE TO PUT ON AT LEAST 10KG. EVERYWHERE I GO I GET CALLED NAMES, EVEN TOLD BY STORE ASSISTANTS TO GO THE KIDS CLOTHING SHOP. I HATE THE WAY I LOOK, LIKE A BAG OF BONES. NOTHING YOU WEAR FITS,EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A TOOTHPICK WRAPPED IN A CURTAIN. I EAT 5-6 REAL MEALS A DAY. I TAKE PROTEIN SHAKES. THE DOCTORS DONT HELP BECAUSE AS SOON AS I SAY I DONT HAVE BULEMIA OR ANOREXIA THEY DISMISS ME AND SAY “WELL EAT MORE” IM SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING “OH MY GOD LOOK HOW SKINNY YOU ARE, YOU LOOK SICK” YES I DO HAVE MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN EVERYONE CAN CRITISIZE ME. I DONT RUN AROUND TELLING PEOPLE OH MY GOD LOOK HOW FAT YOU ARE !! I HAVE EVEN CONTACTED PLACES LIKE JENNY CRAIG TO ASK IF I COULD GET A HIGH CALORIE/FAT/CARB MEALS. THEY JUST LAUGHED. I HAVE BEEN TRYING DOCTORS FOR 10YRS, RANG HOSPITALS WHO DEAL WITH EATING DISORDERS, BUT THEY WOND HELP EITHER. WHERE DO I GO ? CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW I CAN PUT WEIGHT ON. IT IS VERY DEPRESSING, YES JUST AS OBESE PEOPLE GET DEPRESSED AND HAVE HEALTH ISSUES BECAUSE OF WEIGHT, SO DO SKINNY PEOPLE INCLUDING ALL THE HEALTH ISSUES.
ANITA
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Hi there, im naturally skinny.. very very skinny. (173 – 51kg)
I live in Spain and you cant believe how difficult that is! All these girls with them beautiful curves. To be skinny isn’t easy around them. The pressure gets even bigger with all these styling shows how to feel better with your curves. What about the ones who havnt even got them? I dont think there is one single girl who is skinny that feels comfortable with it. We basically look like shapeless human-beings.
about 90 % thinks she’s overweight.. what about the 10% that thinks being to skinny?
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another cause of skinniness – eating disorder thinly veiled as food allergy/intolerance – lactose intolerance, gluten-free, bloating etc. This ploy is more common that you’d think and genunine foold allergies/intolerance affect a very small percentage of population.
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Dear Mia. OK I know this is an old post, but there’s nothing wrong with naturally skinny peeps. Like Gwyneth Paltrow. But those two pics you’ve posted of Kate Bosworth show how she has gone from being healthy and toned, to a skinny rake. She has been photographed at times looking positively emaciated. To me, she’s the one actress in hollywood should not be held up as a ‘naturally skinny’ example.
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I am a size 8, definitely not skinny for my height, 5ft5, but not chubby either.
What kills me is when people say: ‘You’re so lucky to be so small! I wish I was your size’. There is no luck involved whatsoever! I work out most days and eat lots of salads. It’s not a special gift from above, it’s called being healthy and active.
I understand that some women just cannot lose weight, try as hard as they might, but I have also seen a lot of women eating tubs of Nutella, ice cream in front of the television and huge cocktails on a Friday night while complaining about their weight and envying my ‘luck’.
I don’t like going to the gym particularly, it’s just that I know at 29 it’s only going to get harder, so good habits now will pay off later.
Everyone, fat or thin or ‘average’ (whatever that means) should be exercising and eating healthy food in correct portion sizes. It’s a no brainer.
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It is amazing and ridiculous about how people automatically judge you if you’re thin, but if you’re overweight, no one says a word. You can’t judge a person based on their weight.
And also, I am thin. I always have been. I literally eat and try to gain weight. My mom was the exact same way.
And when people go around calling thin girls anorexic or bulimic or whatever you want to say, THEY are just as bad as those snobby, stuck-up, high-school girls that are insecure, rude and belittling to those that they envy.
Maybe they bash those that are naturally thin to make themselves feel better.
It doesn’t matter.
The point is that this article is on to something.
When a woman is a little chubby or more on the plus side, people praise her (at least in Hollywood) for not letting the “skinny-pressure” get to her; but the thin girl is accused and ridiculed for being too thin or anorexic-even if she isn’t.
It is biased and completely unfair and unjust.
People need to take a good look in the mirror and be happy with them selves and realize that when they make these unjust accusations they are affecting another human being with feelings.
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People still judge you either way – fat or thin. Its just that people dont feel as comfortable verbally expressing said judgment about fat people.
Judgement is a good thing often – ie we need to judge people who kill, are paedophiles, etc as a society we make the rules and we punish those who break them.
But in other cases judgement just alienates us from each other.
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Personally I respect Mia immensly and am intrigued by her thought processes and opinions. If Maria Smith had half a brain she would have looked at Mia’s picture and realised she herself was quite thin and in this blog was not portraying hatred towards skinny women. This blog is inspirational to mature woman so maria if you arent smart enough to interpret this blog I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself.
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I hope everyone thinks about what you have said here today, I really try and make and active effort to make my friends feel as beautiful as possible whenever I can, so why do I get left with the guilt when it comes back to me?
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This woman is an idiot. She’s not a doctor and yet she diagnoses all thin women as anorexic or bulimic. This is only a rant by a bitter woman who pretends to be more than she is just like the women she is judging.
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I agree. I’m on the lower end of 40 kgs and I find it AMAZING at how many people believe it’s alright to comment on my weight. My sister, who is not obese but a little chubbier, believes it is perfectly alrigt to call me ‘ano’ and tell me I ‘look like I came from a 3rd world country’ (highly insensitive). And people do not find that discriminatory or unfair. Yet if I was to say a single word about her weight I would be criticized for being ‘insensitive’.
I hate double standards. And I hate the “real women have curves”-it’s just suggesting that if you are thin, and not just me but many of my friends are, then you are worthless. I think bigger women are just as beautiful as are skinny women. And please don’t think that skinny women don’t envy bigger women-I wish I actually had boobs and hips.
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I came across this doing a random google search to try to find out if I’m the only one who’s feeling like a victim of skinny bashing.
I’m 4’10″ft, of Thai ancestry (Danish adoptee) and until recently I was obese because I mistakenly compared portion sizes to that which much taller, Caucasian, Danish women can eat and still be slim and healthy…plus I don’t digest wheat and diary products very well either. I’m 31 years old and a mother of 3.
I may be wrong but I think people would be more forgiving if I could eat anything I wanted to eat and ate in a day what others eat in a month while lying on the couch, but I get the feeling that it is somehow criminal to actively try to be slim and fit and succeed at it too.
“Stop running or you’ll disappear completely!” and similar comments are all too often shouted at me by complete strangers. I also hate the veiled concern “Now don’t disappear, make sure you eat too”.
I eat what I need to eat and am as active as someone of my height and built needs to eat to maintain a healthy, slim, and fit figure.
This to me means limiting intake of wheat and diary products, eating more like I would’ve if I’d grown up in SE Asia and comparing my portion sizes to that of what slim, healhty Asian women eat and taking regular brisk walks for aprox. 1 hour, nearly every day. I refuse to become a fantatic about what I eat or exercise.
I try to be patient and explain this to people.
But people don’t let it go there. Then they demand to know what I eat and if I make the mistake of giving in there and giving them their answer, then they equate what I need to eat with what they need to eat for their usually much taller figures and bigger boned built and conclude that I’m not eating enough even though my BMI is in the high end of healthy for someone who’s only 4’10″ft.
At 4’10″ft there aren’t many lbs. between slim and overweight either. People forget that too. Like most other people, it’s much easier for me to gain weight than it is to lose it.
At the other pole there’s my adoptive mother who’s tall and still lean at 62, with a delicate bone structure, who can eat as much as she wants of whateve she wants and grow into her couch and not gain weight. People too feel they have a right to treat her as public property and scrutinize how “she got away” with it to her age and still remains slim.
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I totally agree with you! People keep knocking skinny people, and its not fair! Just coz some are so concerned with thier own weight they make themselves feel better by explaining anyone skinny as anorexic. Its not our fault! And just as some fat people can’t help it, some skinny people can’t help it! All this recent “skinny-bashing” – where people make comments like “I like a women with real curves” and “it’s just not natural” is so hard for us to deal with! Size 14+ have had their self-esteem issues dealt with: they are now “average” per se. Yet we, skinny people, are constantly commented on for looking like we do. I eat HEAPS, and i just can’t help being slim. Yet I still get heaps of commentes about my weight, and of course, the inevitale question “are you anorexic or something??” More people should read Mia Freedman!
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I’m going a bit off-topic, but it’s nice to hear of another ‘grazer’, Rosie. I get ‘kidded’, nagged or just plain derision, for my manner of dining. I would never deride anyone who picked at their entré, mooched over the main, and, well, just deserted the dessert. To me, dining out is more about the conversation, the reparteé, and the company, than the all-consuming need to eat everything on one’s plate.
However, if you do like to eat everything on your plate, please stay ’round and let’s enjoy your company. Dining out isn’t an eating competition, or an eating comparison. It’s the sublime experience of connecting with similar intellect, well…..maybe just a great chance to bitch and gripe about everyone who isn’t there….
so don’t eat and run….it’s probably your shout for the next bottle of vino….
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Lu, I am one of the tiny entree eaters. I usually just have an entree. And sometimes dessert. I am definitely not ultra-thin (I am a size 14) but I am also not a big eater.
This is why I avoid going out to dinner, I am forever being told I need to eat more – when I cannot, I am a grazer, eat a bit here, a bit there. And hold steady at size 14.
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Really enjoyed reading this post Mia, you always know how to tackle an issue in an appropriate and sensitive way.
I too am a “skinny” girl. I find it to be such an offensive word. I have encountered this skinny bashing too, some of it even from my best friends who don’t even realise they are doing it.
And you know what, I don’t need to be made to feel guilty for how I was born, this is just me. We are always asked to explain ourselves.. how could we possibly be this way? And you do get made to recount every single thing you eat all the time, just like SJP was forced to. While your diet isn’t necessarily a personal thing, at the same time… it kindof is. You shouldnt need to feel embarassed about what food you put in your mouth, its just food!
I hope everyone thinks about what you have said here today, I really try and make and active effort to make my friends feel as beautiful as possible whenever I can, so why do I get left with the guilt when it comes back to me?
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Big, small, whatever – as long as you’re happy and healthy who cares ?
I am a size 12 and am a foodie so have to work hard with exercise to keep to a size that I think is healthy for me and allows me to keep wearing my favourite jeans.
I must admit though I do miss the good old days of going out for dinner with friends and they ATE THEIR MEAL !!! I’ve lost count of the number of girls nights out recently where I have come home feeling like a greedy pig because I ate a main meal. What is it with women only eating tiny salad entrees and being too full to finish them ? Can someone please explain ?
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Really enjoyed reading this post Mia, you always know how to tackle an issue in an appropriate and sensitive way.
I too am a “skinny” girl. I find it to be such an offensive word. I have encountered this skinny bashing too, some of it even from my best friends who don’t even realise they are doing it.
And you know what, I don’t need to be made to feel guilty for how I was born, this is just me. We are always asked to explain ourselves.. how could we possibly be this way? And you do get made to recount every single thing you eat all the time, just like SJP was forced to. While your diet isn’t necessarily a personal thing, at the same time… it kindof is. You shouldnt need to feel embarassed about what food you put in your mouth, its just food!
I hope everyone thinks about what you have said here today, I really try and make and active effort to make my friends feel as beautiful as possible whenever I can, so why do I get left with the guilt when it comes back to me?
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Hi Gigdiary,
You bring up a really good point about Kate Bosworth and it’s a common misconception about women and weight….Something I should have added to my original post.
A woman can lose weight for many reasons OTHER than an eating disorder or drug use or starving herself. Stress, grief and heartache are three such reasons and Kate Bosworth admitted she was dealing with at least to of those three factors when her weight dropped.
Other women will put on weight for exactly the same reasons.
I think we need to question the way we all throw around words like “anorexia” which is in fact a mental illness, when we truly don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s head – or body.
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It is a ridiculous double standard. I’m 1.78m tall, and a size 18/20, so slightly overweight, and my friends constantly tell me that I’m gorgeous/not fat/don’t need to lose weight/am so lucky to have curves and boobs/should stop hiding my figure under my clothes. One of my friends is incredibly skinny, despite the fact that she eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and is constantly trying to gain weight. Everyone constantly tells her that she’s too skinny and needs to gain weight. It can’t be a great feeling. But that being said, knowing that everyone’s constantly telling un-truths to you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings can be pretty crap too.
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Hi Mia, as always as ever, you are hilarious and always bring up very important issues.
Mia, I am fat, fat, fat. I don’t blame a soul, just those damn tasty fast food outlets. I do love to eat, oh lordy lord, I do enjoy food. I wish I could leave it to that but I can’t. Every single day I obsess about wanting to lose weight and have taken every single herbal weight-loss tablet available here and on the internet. They are all a load of expensive crap. I am haunted by images of beautiful starlets looking stunning in clothes I dream of wearing. And I want to look like them.
So what does one do when they are in a constant battle in their minds, constantly succumbing to delicious food and constantly chastising myself for it and every night drift off to sleep absolutely adamant that as of tomorrow I will start dieting. But tomorrow never comes, the images continue to haunt and the battle continues. I just wish it would all go away.
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Thankyou Mia for drawing attention to something I feel very strongly about! Being a size 6 can sometimes feel akin to having leprosy in today’s society!!
So often, women will assume I am anorexic, and will attempt to “cure” my ostensible eating disorder by telling me how disgustingly thin I am, and how much my boyfriend would find me more attractive if I put on a few kilos. I wouldn’t dream of telling an overweight stranger to lose a few kilos; women tend to assume that skinny people don’t have normal feelings.
I’ve had cameras shoved in every orifice in my body, and numerous tests done to diagnose my inability to put weight on, but to no avail. Recently I had an awful bout of food poisoning, and lost all the weight I had worked so hard to gain (that’s a lot of Krispy Kremes!) sometimes I’ll have a particularly bad “skinny day” where no clothes look good, nothing fits right and I’ll be too self-conscious to leave the house, for fear of bitchy ‘stage-whispered’ comments from complete strangers.
Whenever some ‘well-intentioned’ female tells me that men prefer big women, or something equally hurtful; I’m always tempted to snap in response: “oh yeah? ask the average male who they’d prefer to take to bed – Beth Ditto or Kylie Minogue?!”
anyway, thanks again Mia
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Mia, i am so glad you have raised this issue! I am a size 8, have 3 children and can eat what I want. i have always been this way, it’s my genes and metabolism. I am constantly told I am skinny. have you lost more weight? you’re so lucky you’re skinny! What’s the lucky part? being underweight and unable to put on weight? not being able to find a bra that fits other than ‘my first bra’ not very sexy when you’re 35! there are so many clothing ranges for overweight and big people but if I tried to market one for skinny or petit people I would be accused of promoting poor self image and anorexia. people think nothing to make comments when you’re thin but if i was over weight no one would say anything to me for fear of hurting my feelings. no wonder people have eating disorders. It is an extreme double standard and I am so glad people are becoming aware of it.people should focus on being HEALTHY not fat or thin, everyone is different.
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Maria S, I would rather be fat and unfit than an extrememly talented and fit athlete if being a size 6-8 meant I had to be as snarky & rude as you are being.
Sorry Mia, (and everyone else) but that sort of nasty bitchy remark is counterproductive, and pisses me off even more than someone having a go at me personally.
And no, I am not overweight, nor an I under, I am fit, and strong, and quite happy with my lot (except for not finding clothes that work on an hourglass) thank you very much.
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I am probably the only overweight Australian/Thai I know! When I go to Thailand they have no qualms in telling me how fat I am. It’s not considered an insult there, it is an endearment (took a few tears to get used to that one though!). Look, fat or skinny…how far can you run? How many benchpresses can you do? Can you do a backbend? There is “unfit, unhealthy” thin as there is “unfit, unhealthy” fat. I think you can usually tell the difference. Ellen Pompeii “glows”. Amy Winehouse does not.
It is also sad to see that the most judgemental of other women and their weight is OTHER WOMEN!
I love women, and if you are fit and healthy, are openminded, giving, and think nice thoughts (most of the time..heh heh..) then you will carry yourself beautifully – fat or thin.
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are they the same girl ? left and right ?
If so, your ‘naturally skinny’ argument doesn’t hold here. She is, as you say at the outset, lying. Unfortunately, she is lying foremost to herself.
Tragically, anorexia defys and denys common sense.
But on a lighter note…
Santa Mia, it has, until recent times, been ok to laugh at others. The brunt of most jokes refer to ‘their race, gender, height, age or size’, and that made the jokes funny. Irish jokes, racial jokes, bald jokes (I get lots of those), dumb jokes, nerd jokes, women jokes and men jokes, whatever. And people could be big enough to laugh at themselves. Now we’re like scared rabbits, afraid of the least affront to our delicate bunny selves.
Insults aren’t humour, never were, but humour could still be tinged with a truth that hit its mark.
arrgghh, guess I’m just a cross old bastard….and then I read a news item about teachers being unable to raise their voices to a kid in the playground…..
This really is a new century…
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I am overweight and trying very hard to lose weight. I have plastic cheese and fruit for breakfast. I have a colleague who comes to work and eats two bacon and egg sandwiches for breakfast followed by one of those large muffins for morning tea, then starts thinking about what to have for lunch. She’s thin. Yes, I’m jealous. I know she doesn’t have an eating disorder but obviously has a very fast metabolism. If she could bottle it, I’d buy it!
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thanks for bringing to light the issue. and thank you for realizing that not all skinny girls have an eating disorder (asians in particular – most of it really is genes). sometimes i feel disgusting because i’m “too” skinny; seeing all those images of the olsen twins and lindsay lohan make me feel like a freak even though i’m naturally this way.
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I HATE skinny bashing. It is such an offensive double standard that people think it is okay to openly comment on the weight of a thin woman, whereas no one would ever dare make a comment to someone who was overweight. If obesity is such a looming crisis, why are comments made about severely overweight people met with gasps and “you can’t say that!”, but it’s seen as funny to make derogatory remarks directly to a thin person?
My best friend is lucky enough to have a fast metabolism, and for years was able to eat whatever she liked (cake, chocolate, you name it) without putting on weight. This seemed to make her an open target for people she barely knew to call her “skin and bones” (which, at a tidy size 10, she never has been) and ask her how on earth she could eat that much and not get fat, with a raised eyebrow as if to suggest that of course she must have an eating disorder or exercise obsessively. Now that she’s older she has changed to healthy foods, but she still eats like a horse, and still gets the rude comments. I’ve seen how those comments have undermined her confidence -and most women, no matter their size, don’t have too much body confidence to begin with.
Let’s just admit it -skinny bashing is based on jealousy. Because we never like to believe that a woman could be naturally thin, while we have to workout and watch what we eat to maintain a weight that is twice their size. Yes, some women are thin because of eating disorders. Just like some women are overweight because of health issues beyond their control. But unless you are very close to the person and have an understanding of which category they fall into, it’s best to keep your comments to yourself.
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If you don’t like skinny women don’t look at them they proberley don’t like you either because they can’t understand how you could walk around looking so fat and unfit. I’m a size 6-8 and i’ve never suffered from an eating disorder to be this way i’m just an extremley talented and fit athlete. I train almost everyday and i CAN eat what ever i want i never diet. I always used to get insulting comments about my weight by fat unhealthy people who would never be able to come close to me if i ever raced them as they would only make 100meters. Get over it already. We are thin sucked in you wish you all could do it but you can’t. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Hi Mia,
I hope this makes sense…
My sister & I have enjoyed your work for years.. We first got to know you through your editorials in Cosmo.. and I distinctly remember how funny we thought you were cause you used to write about having fat days and so forth.. since well your skinny! BUT it was excellent cause you capture what its like to feel like a woman and that skinny LOOKING girls have FAT days.. anyway we just liked how well u understood what its like to be a girl..
I hope that made sense! Its just great to have thin people voice feeling fat without being scared larger people may ‘bash’ them for it..
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Mia, Ellen Pompeo looks healthy.
Victoria Beckham looks like an alien. Most males wouldn’t look at her twice. Not long ago I heard a male comment that he understands why Becks looks at other women.
His theory is that Becks wants to dance horizontal rumba with a woman not a skeleton.
Now that Channel 10 is showing “Friends”,I’ve noticed that Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston both went from looking healthy to looking extremely skinny.
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My brother always complained about how people always talked about ways to lose weight and no one ever talked about how one can gain weight. The reason being that he too was and still is a very skinny person. He eats everything and never exercises and is constantly being judged and badgered by family and friends about his weight. I had a few friends going through the same thing as well.
The funny thing is my younger brother used to be overweight and no one would say anything to him, except for me of course! And when I did I would get told off because I was hurting his feelings!!
So the double standard used to piss me off and would tell my parents that they can’t just deny the fact that their son is overweight and it should be addressed too!
Lucky for me I was in the middle and have a healthy weight so no complaints.
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I know a woman who has had 5 (yes 5) children, who is super skinny. 4 of the 5 are under 10, which may explain a lot of it. But then, she was skinny when she only had 1. It was genetic. Clothes that make me look like a sack of spuds wrapped in lycra look great on her. But she is forever confronted with the issue that people think she is ill. I have been with her when she has been told by strangers (never a good thing to do folks) she needs to eat – she eats more in a day than I do in a week for crying out loud!
Do I for one minute believe that every skinny celeb eats like a horse, and stays thin thanks to genetics? No, I’m not THAT gullible. But I think we denizens of the ‘real world’ need to stop comparing ourselves to them, and just get on with living – and trying to find the perfect item of clothing for our respective body shapes – that in itself is enough of a battle for me thanks.
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