"Two women were attacked in Melbourne last weekend. And I'm scared."

Trigger Warning: This post deals with issues of sexual assault and domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors of abuse.

 Update 17/5:

Another woman has been sexually assaulted in the Brunswick area at around 8pm last night. The woman was grabbed from behind by an unknown attacker, who fled after being disturbed by a passing cyclist.

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Two women were attacked in Melbourne last weekend.

And I’m scared.

They were both attacked, only a few streets away from each other, by a man who is still on the run.

And I’m scared.

One woman was grabbed from behind and dragged into a lane way. She was indecently assaulted before she somehow managed to escape. The other was grasped around the shoulders and then brought to the ground before she also fled.

The media are describing the attacks as “Jill Meagher-style” events.

Because just like Jill Meagher, these women were alone in the dark early hours of the morning. Just like Jill Meagher, these women were walking in the Melbourne suburb of Brunswick. And just like the deadly attack on Jill Meagher in 2012, the news has left women in Melbourne – and around Australia – feeling scared to walk alone at night.

I’m a 27-year-old female and I live in Melbourne but until about two years ago, walking alone in the dark really didn’t bother me.

I would casually stroll home from the city to my house in the inner suburbs after a night out with friends. I’d even have my earphones on, completely tuned out to the world around me.

My boyfriend would tell me that I was being stupid. I would tell him to relax a little. I felt safe, secure, I was just doing my everyday thing.

But I don’t feel that way anymore.

Suddenly it feels like every week, there is a another attack being reported in the news. If it’s not the Jill Meagher-style attack, it’s a new mum who was raped on her first night out in the city after having a baby or the 21-year-old woman who was sexually assaulted on a Sydney train earlier this month.

Now, I look twice at every person walking near me. I’m wary of any car that drives at less that 60km/hr in case I’m being followed. I’ll be alone on the airport bus and I imagine the driver stopping in a location that’s not on the fixed route.

And I know I’m not the only one.

“In most parts of my life, at work, with friends, with family, I feel like a strong person,” a friend tells me over coffee this morning.

“But walking home in the dark at night, I’m reminded that I am a short, slight woman with non-existent muscles. I’m reminded of my own vulnerability and that no matter how confident or educated I am, no matter how powerful I feel, physically I am rarely going to be the strong one,” she admits.

Now my friend explains to me that her senses are heightened. She’s startled by every noise or flash of light and she feels unsafe walking in her own suburb (which just happens to be one suburb away from where Jill Meagher was attacked).

It’s a similar sentiment from another friend who happened to be walking home in the same area as Jill Meagher, on the same night, just 20 minutes earlier.

“I’ve always been scared walking alone in the dark. I know in reality the likelihood of being attacked is slim… but I still feel scared. To the point where I constantly look over my shoulder to see if anybody is following. These days, I just try not to walk the streets at night,” she tells me.

Of course there are women who don’t feel this way, but for the many of us who do, it is a constant internal battle of telling yourself you have the right to walk home alone but also just being scared shit-less at the same time.

We try to rationalise it.

We tell ourselves that assault wouldn’t happen in this suburb or that if we talk on the phone, we’ll look too busy to be attacked. We hold keys between our fingers just in case, but we never think we’ll actually have to use them.

We justify that the likelihood of being a victim is small; that only one per cent of rapes are committed by strangers and that (statistically) we’re more likely to be hurt by a friend or a family member. We try to convince ourselves we’re safe.

But then, another day comes and the newspapers and the televisions and the internet brings us another story of “a woman randomly attacked”….

And that feeling of being scared is back all over again. 

Please share this post if you feel the same way as our author. Women have the right to feel safe on our streets. 

If you believe you may be an abusive partner, you can receive help via Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. If you have experienced, or are at risk of domestic violence or sexual assault, you can receive help by calling 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732. If you are in immediate danger please call the police on 000.