By Lisa Bien for Divorced Moms.
What is sexy to you may not be sexy to me. I discovered the truth behind that sentence when I prepared to write this article. I did some research and asked single mums of all ages to share the sexy things that they absolutely love. And the answers might surprise you.
I’m sure you’re expecting to read such tips as: “Grab her when she least expects it,” or “Kiss her so passionately that you’ll make her want to jump in bed with you and have sex all day long,” No! That’s not what my research discovered.
The ten tips below come from the answers the single mums gave me. They are not about being physical or making love. Nope. It appears that what most single mums want, or should I say find sexy, is having a real friendship with a man who can be a friend and partner. That is quite the sexy turn on.
So, how do you do that?
Well, here are the top 10 things single mums find sexy in a man:
1. Show Patience:
Yes, patience tops the list. To date a single mum, you have to be patient with her schedule, with her kids and most importantly – with her.
2. Be Understanding:
Knowing kids take priority is such a turn on for women! No one enjoys feeling conflicted about spending time with their children. A big turn on is saying: I understand, your kids come first. Believe it, practice and live it, and you will be the sexiest guy ever.
3. Be Kind:
This one is my favorite tip for everyone, in all relationships, sexy or not, if you are a man and you are genuinely kind and compassionate, you can sweep me off my feet…right into the bedroom.
4. Take Initiative:
This is not hard at all! When a man takes initiative and does something like plan an unexpected dinner or a weekend getaway, or he just gives her a night off and offers to watch her kids: Wow! Now that is sexy!
5. Be Truly Caring:
To care for someone is to provide safe keeping, to provide nurturing. And for many women, it means security, it means if you break down and you need someone to come change a tire on the side of the road, they will come. It means if someone has not heard from you for more than a few hours than they normally would, they'll begin to worry. When you care about a woman and her children, that is sexy.
6. Offer Emotional Support:
It is probably one of the most refreshing things a man can do; being emotionally supportive. In case you are wondering what that means: it means to ask about her job, her career; what is important to her and talk about it. If you really want to go all in, tell her that you are there for her and really want to be there for her. Ask if there's anything you can do for her.
7. Lend a Hand:
This is really one of my personal favorites: helping around the house. Lend a hand with something. If leaves need to be cleaned up, offer your help. When you lend her a hand with a chore, you are showing her you want to help her and you want to make her life easier because you care.
8. Show Interest:
SHOW that you care. Everyone likes to know someone cares about them and this takes no time. It’s easy. Check in with a call or a text that shows that you care and are interested. Showing someone you care means much more than saying you care.
9. Don't Fear Being Vulnerable:
When a man is able to express emotions and talk about them…whoa! This is better than any foreplay you can imagine. In fact, it is the best emotional foreplay ever. And you know what that leads to, right?
10. Be Adventurous:
Being willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things is a big turn on! No one likes the same old, same old, so men take note and be open to new adventures.
There you have it! Try doing a few things on this list. Who knows? You may even find that you and your partner are so turned on by this "emotional stuff" that the sex is better than before, and it will only keep getting better and better.
This post originally appeared on Divorced Moms.
We recently asked the Mamamia Team to tell us the moment they knew they'd found 'the one'. Post continues after video...