School kids have known about the “alphabet hierarchy” for decades. A child with a surname starting with ‘A’ has a certain assuredness about them. They know where they stand in the world. They possess the confidence that comes from being first, all the time, and not according to any particular merit. Their name is called first. They have the best seats in class. They get called onto the excursion bus first. And they are the first divided into groups. They receive their awards while the audience is still enthusiastic, and the applause is the loudest because the three-hour celebration evening has only just begun.
‘First’ is the rightful place of a person whose surname starts with A.
But the people with surnames in the middle of the alphabet are something different again. The teacher never really knows if they’re actually in attendance or not, so caught up are they between everyone else. The kids know this, of course. Sometimes Sarah Murphy will answer for Tom Littlefinger and vice versa as the class roll is called, and the children will laugh and the teacher will continue, oblivious to the trickery because they’re only at M-L and they’ve got the whole alphabet to get through.
Finally, we come to the kids at the end of the alphabet. The children who have surnames starting from R and beyond. By this time, the teacher’s voice is hoarse, the lucky, start-of-the-alphabet kids are bored and talking amongst each other. The last kid may or may not be in attendance. No one really knows because the class is so noisy and the roll is almost over and everyone’s getting nervous about reciting their times tables, particularly the six times tables.
Now, a study has confirmed all this.
What are the practicalities of having an original name? Post continues below.
The “alphabet hierarchy” does, in fact, exist and kids whose surnames fall closer to the start of the alphabet are better off, especially in their early years.