Zoe Foster Friday 11 May 2012 11:35am

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Zoe modelling her nail polish

BY ZOE FOSTER

Can you even remember a time when we didn’t know specific nail polish colour names, or which colour Chanel had sent down the runway on their models, and therefore would be the Biggest Nail Colour of The Season, or what Shellac was, or how to make our nails look like little tuxedos?

Me either, and quite frankly, I don’t want to.

Why would I when we are in the heady midst of the fingernail uprising, and the epicentre of the nail lacquer renaissance of nail lacquer? It is time to shine, sweet little hand talons! (Or matte! Or crackle!)

I personally am an enormous fan of nail trends and fashion, and in a sentence I thought I would never write, nail art. If you aren’t with me, please take a moment to peruse some this fantastic compilation of Instagram nail awesomeness, and then tell me you aren’t impressed, and maybe just a little bit thirsty for some fun nails of your own:

Image via blognailedit.blogspot.com

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Some simple suggestions to get a dame on her way:

1. Stickers and add-ons: Pop on a tiny sticker or some glitter or tiny beads sprinkled over your top coat, and then sealed in with another layer of top coat.

2. Modern French: Do a clear base, with a coloured tip. I like pink or black. This is particularly sensational with Shellac/GelColor etc.

3. The Reverse Moon: Paint the small “moons” of your nails (down near the base) one shade, and the rest of your nail another. Cream and black looks very posh.

The Modern French

And have a sniff around the chemist, Priceline and online, a lot of brands have nail art stuff to help you play better, like Orly’s Instant Artist, and Sally Hansen’s Salon Effect decals. (Also, don’t be scared to ask the staff at your nail bar if they can do something cool – whenever I ask they are THRILLED to do something a bit more creative than “just Bubble Bath thanks.”)

Should you be the type of dame who prefers/needs/demands to be on trend, here are some of the stand out shades to go for this year:

4. The New Nude: Wedged between that plain sheer pink you always use, and the taupes that were huge a few seasons back, lays the new neutral. Try to find a tone that matches your skin tone, or think almondy-beige-flesh tones.

Try: Deborah Lippmann in Naked, OPI Did You ‘Ear About Van Gogh?

5. Bright 60s shades: Like a swing-dress, but on your nails. Think bright oranges and hot fuschias. Try: Essie, OPI A Roll in The Hague, Orly Passion Fruit.

6. Robin egg blues, pistachio greens, soft lilacs: Beyonce has single-handedly re-ignited blue nails, but country-kitchen-soft-greens and gentle lavenders are also delightful. Try: Essie Navigate Her, Chanel Riva, Orly Jealous Much?

7. Embellishment: Think glitter, sparkles, 3D effects like sprinkles.

Try: Sally Hansen salon effects in Blue Ice, Butter London tart with a Heart.

8. Navy is the new black: PHEW. We almost had to revert to black as the new black. Thanks, navy. Try: Chanel Blue Satin, OPI Russian Navy, Dior Tuxedo.

If you think this is all ridiculous, and you’re quite happy with no polish, or your simple French manicure, that’s perfectly acceptable, of course it is, and I’m sure your nails look terrific just the way they are.

Just know that being fancy or on trendy with your nails is the FASTEST, and CHEAPEST accessory you can use to fool people into thinking you are in fashion and “up with it.” (I’d know; I’ve been doing it for years.)

Now, because I SO enjoyed the interactivity of last week’s no-makeup post (I teared up seeing all of your photos and lovely comments, you gorgeous bastards), and I know that I certainly take photos of my manicures when they are looking excellent/interesting, I hereby leave the floor open for you all to show off your hard work (or the hard work of your manicurist) below, so that we marvel at your talent and creativity and pile you with compliments, and then maybe copy you.

I am wearing the only polish I packed right now, so I’ve dug up a few archived snaps to get the boat rowing, such as this one: reverse moons with gold and burgundy.

Zoe Foster

Zoe is an author, columnist and porridge fan. Her books include the beauty bible Amazing Face, dating and relationship guide Textbook Romance, and three novels, Air Kisses, Playing The Field and The Younger Man. Find more info on her here, or supervise on her daily procrastination here and here.

Please understand that Zoë cannot respond to ALL your questions – but never fear, there are readers that are bound to know the answers, so don’t be afraid to ask.

So go on – share your manicures in the comments below! What nail trends are you currently loving?