by ZOE FOSTER
Q: I just had the worst haircut of my life and I HATE IT. She cut it way too short! How can I get through this bit til it’s a decent length again?
A: Sweet Briony, you are far from alone. I know this because I am looking into your home and can see other people around you.
Also you are not alone in the shitty haircut stakes. It’s very common, and extremely annoying and in a real blow to our collective vanity, we’ve all been there. Even Cameron Diaz has been there – she revealed in UK Elle that she burst into tears after seeing her new short cut. Obviously if famous, wealthy, beautiful people are not immune from bad haircuts, well, we’re all doomed.
Aside of snappy wigs, extensions and beanies, there are a few little things I recommend to deal with your … interesting new hairstyle:
1. Embrace texture.
In my opinion (“Fickle and unsubstantiated since 1980!”) hair rarely looks it’s best when it’s unstyled, flat and freshly washed. So please don’t think that’s it for your haircut when it’s in that state. Get your styler or curling tong out and play around one night. It’s spectacular the difference some texture and waves can do to a hairstyle. (And how well they hide bad cuts.) You MIGHT even not hate it after discovering how ravishing you look with cool, bedhead texture. (Be sure to use heat protecting spray and let it dry first.)
2. Try some new products.
If you’ve gone from simple, longish hair you knew exactly how to style, to something alien and choppy and short and unpredictable, go with it, don’t try to push it into What You Know. Shorter hair usually benefits from things like sea salt spray, waxes, pomades and styling creams, as they give lift, piecey-ness and that disheveled, modern look. Try to avoid those that look like you have product in our hair, please. Very 80s. Instead go for prodz that give subtle texture and a believable finish. (Like Bumble and bumble texture cream, Redken Powder Grip 03, or Garnier Surf Hair Texture Paste.)
3. Accessories and adornment.
Try embellished clips, (very Gatsby) using bobby pins to secure little twists of hair pulled back off the face, teased rockabilly quiffs to create a pretend updo, braids and plaits across the front of the hair and of course, go to town with headbands.
4. Slick and styled.
Still on the Gatsby thing, consider learning how to do finger waves (this tutorial is excellent to quickly cheat the look on short hair) and befriend finetooth combs and modern gels like the ones TreSemme and Herbal Essences do. Tucking slick hair behind the ears (or just one) is always chic, as is a low pony at the nape of the neck with a deep side part up front.
5. Go back.
Consider a trip back to the salon and tell them you really, really don’t like your bloody hair, even after a few days of chatting to it over Chai tea and trying to get to know it better. They want you to be happy, it’s in their best interest, so they will probably either try to fix it, or at least help you with some styling trickery.
Briony, I hope you can learn to love your new hair. Sometimes we resist change for so long that the universe (or a distracted hairdresser) steps in to take care of it for us … And who knows? It might just work out to be the beginning of a Brand New You!
(Or you will just wear it back every day until you’re happy with it again.)
Zoe is an author, columnist and porridge fan. Her books include the beauty bible Amazing Face, dating and relationship guide Textbook Romance, and three novels, Air Kisses, Playing The Field and The Younger Man. Find more info on her here, or supervise on her daily procrastination here and here.
Please understand that Zoë cannot respond to ALL your questions – but never fear, there are readers that are bound to know the answers, so don’t be afraid to ask.
Have you ever had a haircut that you hated? How did you fix it?