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We grappled with whether to bring you this particular fashion gallery, Mamamia readers, we really did.

Victoria’s Secret are like the Voldemort (for non-Harry Potter fans, he’s the super evil bad dude who keeps trying to kill our bespectacled hero) of photoshopping and airbrushing and all things that make us women feel generally rubbish about the way we look.

Even though (hypocrisy alert) some of us in the MM office have bought their lingerie.

So why would we show you a gallery of their 2012 fashion parade?

Well. The first model is dressed as a bicycle.

Read that sentence again because it’s still funny the second time.

But wait, it gets better. The second? She’s dressed as a toddler’s play pen. Or possibly some kind of human piece of Meccano.

Another is dressed as a neurosurgeon who has lost her pants (but not her face mask or gloves). Another is dressed as a Christmas tree ornament.

And this is no referential modern artistic thing. No, no. They’re very literal people over at Victoria’s Secret. The women are dressed to actually look like inanimate objects. But with boobs and sparkly bras on top.

Take a look:

Victoria's Secret Pink range

 

 

 

 

Comments

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49 Comments so far

  1. Cassady

    The bicycle outfit is almost identical to an outfit in the music video for George Michael’s Too Funky which was over 20 years ago. .

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  2. BC

    THESE GIRLS ALL LOOK SO GOOD IN WHAT THEY ARE WEARING.

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  3. BC

    ALL THESE LOOK SEXY

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  4. Narelle

    The models look like they’re having fun, actually. And they’re smiling-something some people here could try.

    Miranda Kerr also eats very clean, aside from any workouts they might do. Makes a difference, but she has copped a great deal of nastiness for speaking up about it.

    I actually haven’t seen any journalists here who look terrible in photos or overweight, so why the snarky ness?

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  5. sharons

    I love the VS fashion show. The girls are beautiful and fit and toned.

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  6. lala

    The bicycle model is Jessica Hart and she’s Australian. I think she looks amazing and her outfit is fun – a throwback to George Michael’s ‘Too Funky’ videoclip!

    Can’t we be proud of how well she’s done in her industry rather than making snide comments about her outfit?!

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  7. Hayley

    I used to watch this on foxtel as a teen, and I remember that the powers that be used to say they don’t like using stick thin models (this is during the time of tyra banks and Heidi klum), but I guess that’s no longer true … I guess they can’t have lamp posts in their set design :-/

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  8. Alice

    Karlie Kloss doesn’t look fit and healthy, but emaciated. It’s a shame, because all the other girls look like athletes!

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  9. lmac81

    One of my favorite things to do it to watch the VS show with my girlfriends, the whole production is so beautiful.

    This article reeks a little bit of a catty and jealous.

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  10. Sarah

    http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/5-burning-questions-about-the-victorias-secret-parade-20121109-292nh.html

    The above sums things up beautifully.

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  11. Beans

    Does anyone else find Alessandra Ambrosio a bit too masculine looking in the face?

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    • Banana

      Really can’t believe that this comment made the moderation cut and my comment along the extremely inoffensive lines of why can’t be just celebrate all women, no more criticism please didn’t make it!

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    • Diana The Huntress

      No, because I don’t have a set of arbitrary gender-stereotype-based rules for how people “should” look. She is very striking. I would say the same if she were male.

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  12. Jacqui

    I love the OTT production of the VS parades. So many sparkles, glitter rain, wings, costumes-it’s all good fun with a glammy edge.

    What is disturbing is Justin Beiber in white harem pants and 90210 hair. He’s what 12? And checking out models butts while dressed like a Backstreet Boy circa 1996? Now THAT’S a worry lol

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    • Rach

      Yeah, I found the whole Justin Bieber thing a bit sickening. The weird outfit, the sleazy ogling. Like a 15 year old pimp. No wonder his poor girlfriend broke up with him afterwards :(

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  13. LJ

    I am not a fan of them. I think they are demeaning though that is my opinion I know. The boobs squashed up within an inch of their life and their legs that have a huge space betweem them. This is meant to be voluptuous – I don’t think so.

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  14. Jess

    I feel like some of Mia’s good work on body image is just being made to look silly now as you’re really taking it too far with this topic.

    I have many female friends, relatives and co-workers and I’m yet to meet one who feels like rubbish because of Victoria Secret models so who are these women you speak of? They don’t seem to be as common as you make them out to be. I would think that most women know that VS models are freaks of nature who hit the genetic jackpot and who also work very very hard to look the way they do becasue that’s their job.

    I just don’t understand your constant VS bashing. It’s a fun show, they’ve never taken themselves seriously, the girls are fit and healthy looking, and they always do something fun/silly on the runway. I prefer this to the ridiculous high fashion shows where the models look emaciated and everyone takes themselves so deadly seriously.

    And now it’s hypocritical to buy VS underwear? Please!

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  15. beee

    Love the VS shows because the models actually have a good time!! In all other high end fashion shows the models look like they are deeply depressed.

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  16. Jen

    I don’t know anyone who looks at this and thinks this is how they are supposed to look. They are wearing giant wings and diamond bikinis! It’s fantasy!

    I much prefer this, where they go out of their way to make the women look gorgeous – than the couture shows where they make the girls look ugly

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  17. CB

    I love looking at the pictures. The models look stunning and the lingerie is gorgeous. I know I look nothing like them and neither does anyone I know but it certainly doesn’t make me feel bad looking at the pictures and it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate how great they look and how hard they work to look that good on the runway. Being able to admire someone else’s looks doesn’t mean I make myself feel bad in doing so. To me, it’s simply appreciating beauty.

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  18. Anon

    Thierry Mugler did it first (motorcycle corset).

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    • hellburger

      Thank you! I think the commenters below will find that George Michael was inspired by Thierry Mugler not the other way around. Either way, it was a great video and Thierry Mugler was giving some of his best (whether you like the ‘bicycle’ connotations or not).

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  19. Laura

    Women should be celebrated regardless of their weight. This includes those that work incredibly hard for their figures! Talking down VS models for their figures is as negative a reaction as the medias portrayal of what perfection looks like. These women can’t be airbrushed as they strut down the catwalk, and they look pretty darnn amazing to me- no photoshopping in sight. No, not everyone looks like this, but MamaMia should encourage all body shapes and sizes, including the women in this gallery.

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    • afw

      Ooh yeah. I’d love to see a lingerie show full of Nigella look a likes – all feminine shiny wavy hair, boobs, bums and hips, maybe licking meringues off wooden spoons, coquettish eyes – saucy!

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  20. J

    I also love the personality that they are able to show whilst they’re walking down the catwalk – its so much nicer than the bland, boring faces of supposedly ‘high end’ fashion shows.

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  21. The Supermodels

    George Michael Inspired the bike? Too funky.

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  22. Diana The Huntress

    Been done- check out George Michael’s (awesome) Too Funky video.

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    • Freja

      Looooved that film clip, and now I’ve had the song in my head all morning!

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  23. melbourne13

    Absolutely amazing. Seriously. That show never ever fails to impress.

    The other thing I have about this show, is that these models actually look as though they’re having fun compared with other fashion shows. Most models look like the biggest sour pusses where as these girls jump around, bounce off each other and actually smile!

    Also – these girls work hard for their bodies. No, most women don’t look like them, but they shouldn’t be bagged for looking as incredible as they do. If I had a body like that, I’d probs put on a pair of fairy wings too!

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  24. Anonymous

    Ride her like a bike?

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    • Anonymous

      yup… disturbing…

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  25. Faybian

    There is a whole lot of WTFery going on there. The hairstyle Justin Bieber had there did nothing to increase my respect for him…….

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    • Lulu

      Bieber’s facial expression in that first picture is priceless – total “WTF is she WEARING???”

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      • Faybian

        I know lol, but in one of them, he looked like he was having a good perve.

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  26. rk

    Is no-one else familiar with the language of a ‘town bike’ being attributed to apparently promiscuous young women? It was very common and truly awful in rural WA when I was growing up – maybe neither MM nor VS have never heard of it…

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    • vanessayoung

      I am familiar with that language and it was the first thing I thought of when I saw that picture.

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    • katie

      That’s what I thought of too!

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    • merindakennedy

      Yep – “She’s the town bike. Everyone’s had a ride!”
      Charming. Noone has noticed that the town bike model is actually Jess Hart, who’s an Aussie. Wonder if she gets the reference….

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  27. Alice

    In my procrastination yesterday I somehow stumbled across an article about the photos the girls had been uploading of them working out. Bloody hell they work hard to look like that!! One of them had posted a picture of her calorie calculating watch, which showed she’d just worked off nearly 900 calories!!

    It made me feel a lot better – yes, they are incredibly genetically blessed, but also if I decided I preferred to burn 900 calories a day rather than sitting on my couch eating ice cream (yay!) then maybe I’d also be smoking hot. Reality is so much better and more helpful than the old bulls**** line of “oh, I just have a fast metabolism”.

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    • SuperLadyjuliet

      What was she doing?

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    • really?

      can you share this?

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    • Nat

      So true! I probably only burnt about 50 calories today and just finished my serve of ice-cream whilst sitting on the couch. :-)
      What a spectacular show. Let’s not get into the fat/ thin comments here…just enjoy the amazing pics.

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    • Jess

      I follow Adriana Lima on Twitter and she often posts pics of herself after her workouts and damn, that girl doesn’t muck around. She is usually drenched in sweat from head to toe and her hands covered in blood after boxing.

      Come on Mamamia, I think we’ve had enough of bashing these women. I realise what they do is not brain surgery (nor did they ever pretend it was) but it still takes a hell of a lot of hard work, discipline and dedication, and I applaude them for that.

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      • maggie

        I agree! You said it perfectly!

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      • Anonymous

        Let’s remember to give credit to her implants either. Ms Lima wasn’t always so curvy in the front area.

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        • Anonymous

          She doesn’t look like she’s got implants to me at all, none of them do. And if she does, then they’re quite small and natural looking.

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