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bern 380x478 The life of a curly haired person...

This is a sponsored post brought to you by Dove

The life of a curly haired person can be a lonely one. I’ll just wait here quietly while you get your tiny violins ready.

Seriously though, I was born with white, curly hair. Wait, no,  back up, I was born with NO HAIR but by the age of 2, it was abundantly clear I was going to be the only white girl in Queensland with an afro.

The problem with my hair isn’t so much that it’s curly, I share that genetic “blessing” with hundreds of thousands of people. No, my constant source of annoyance is that I’ve got this almighty and unforgiving frizz that accompanies it.

When I was about 10 years old, I gained underground access to my first ever Dolly magazine. This coincided with my mother offering me fifty bucks to chop my hair off as she “liked me better that way”. Firstly, I’m not even going to get into how questionable it is to offer your daughter money to look more like a guy, but I will say this, I am easily bought and with my confidence that the short haired model in Dolly and I would be total twins, I accepted the challenge.

Short story, I ended up looking like a brunette Ronald McDonald. That’s also the long story.

There were no defined curls, I did NOT look like Molly Ringwald in 16 Candles and I can tell you this much – Fifty bucks can never buy you enough Chicken Twisties to take away the pain of being called a boy by your school Principal.

As time went on, my hair grew back. Slowly, painfully and now, with added Frizz! Oh how I would look lovingly at straight golden hair and jealously think they had it all, meanwhile I was making my own personal contribution to eroding the Ozone layer with the copious amounts of Final Net I was applying, desperate for some kind of control.

Then came 1988 and a little golden haired young lady came along that changed the hair landscape of my adolescence.  I’m talking about Kylie and the spiral perm. That’s right, all of a sudden – curly hair was a thing!  A good thing. Oh but wait, frizzy hair was still out. So too, I quickly discovered, spiral perms for people that already HAD curly hair.

As I got older I grew complacent with my hair. Forgetting how abominable it could look until I was handed a photo and wondered who the wild woman of Borneo was standing at the back and then realised with horror,  ‘That’s Me!”

It would be around that time, I would make the pilgrimage to some massive warehouse that sold every hair solution known to man and explain to the bored 17 year old that I needed to calm my hair RIGHT. DOWN. She’d give me the once over, give her gum a couple of chews and the motion for me to follow her.

She would then stand me in front of no less than 126 products and convince me that I needed the most expensive one. Plus the matching shampoo and conditioner. I, like a deranged puppy would almost pump her leg in gratitude and take it home, dreaming of manageable tresses. In my mind, I too was about to become one of those people who always looked effortless, stylish and most importantly, not like they’d just been spat out of the eye of a particularly nasty hurricane.

Did reality match up to the promise? Rarely. Either I’d end up with hair that looked somewhat damp and unkempt or worse, constantly greasy. There seemed to be no solution. No easy one anyway.

After asking other people from the frizzy/curly haired tribe, I have finally learnt the secret. Prevention. Better than the cure. You know that old Chestnut? I’ve learned that a lot of my woes come from lack of maintenance. In other words, I have to look after it, feed it and not expect it to behave for me when I’m not disciplining it myself.

dove1 290x3851 The life of a curly haired person...

Dove Nutri-Oil Serum

The best product I have discovered that not only tames my unruly, frizzy hair but also leaves it smooth and enhances its shine, has been oil. Out of all the products I’ve tried, and believe me, I have tried them ALL, I have found oil works the best.

So yeah, there are days when it still looks as though I’ve just walked backwards out of an argument with a washing machine on spin cycle but mostly, mostly, I’m happy to call it mine.

The new Dove Nutri-Oil Serum is part of the new Dove Nourishing Oil Care Range, formulated with weightless nutri-oils to smooth away roughness and frizz, giving women everywhere beautiful, finger-runnable hair. Absorbing from the moment it is applied, the hair shaft is deeply nourished with no greasy residue.

This post is sponsored by Dove. Comments on this post are just for this post. If you want to talk about the IDEA of sponsored posts or the choice of advertisers please click here. We will be reading all those comments too for feedback.

What are your curly/frizzy/tricky hair solutions?

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Comments

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166 Comments so far

  1. Bernie

    So funny! I’m a curly haired girl too and my name is Bernadette. I always wondered why I had to have both unusual hair and name! My kindred spirit Bern.

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    • Bern

      This is freaky – I’m also a curly haired Bernadette! Wonder if they go together…

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  2. Camilla

    p.s never helped that all the hair articles in Dolly and Girlfriend were for straight hair only!

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  3. Camilla

    Having naturally curly hair is a total curse – having grown up being constantly told that my hair was ‘messy’ and my mother demanding I brush my hair, and refusing to let me use hair products in it, I now constantly straighten my hair (and now get asked why I straighten out my ‘lovely curls’). I CAN’T WIN!

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  4. Katerina

    I haven’t seen my hair curly for years as I have perfected the straightening technique, I wonder if I still have them. From memory they weren’t great curls as the colouring etc of my hair started but I do remember being called Shirley Temple as a young girl. Not sure but may give it a go and blog about it as well.

    Kat

    http://www.katerinaa.com

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  5. SK

    Am gonna try this as I keep seeing it advertised and this post is very timely. Nothing like coming back from the beach feeling all ‘glowing’ and slightly tanned. Only to look in the mirror and see a tiny face with a lion like mane streaming out behind my head. Wouldn’t change it for the world tho’. Its nice to have the best of both worlds (thank you GHD).

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  6. katehunter

    My 5 year old daughter has Cindy Brady blonde curls. It’s the kind of hair old ladies coo over in the supermarket. If it’s been a good day I say, ‘Yes, gorgeous hair isn’t is? Lucky little girl.’ If we’ve had a bad day, I say, ‘Yeh, fabulous, would you like to have a go at brushing it?’

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    • kirk_is_innocent-

      Don’t brush it!!

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  7. KJ

    Why do people get so insulted about sponsored posts? Reading some of the ridiculous complaints below and actually improved a Monday for me – thanks for the laugh you strange, strange people.

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  8. Tulip

    Hmmmm sponsored sight bit dubious?? Was always going to buy it though! I really like it it’s sorting out the frizz and made my hair shiny I definitely recommend giving it a go. I brought at woollies for 10 bucks much cheaper and way better than Moroccan and Argan oils ! Worth a try frizzies .

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  9. Caroline

    First of all does this stuff actually work?

    Secondly, I don’t have actual curls (wish I did) I have half curly boofy hair like the pic. I can’t figure out how to tame it. I wear it in a bun because in a pony tail it is too boofy. Does anyone else have this problem?

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    • Monica

      I do too! My hair is acctually the same as that picture if leave it to its own devices (even same colour) I use moroccan oil and i wrap it in a silk scarf to dry (less friction that a towel.) Also- regular trims and mousse. Hope this helps!

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      • blu-k

        me too – I’ve had it short for so long as I’m hopeless at styling it so whenever I grow it I look like a lion! So it ends up in a ponytail/bun 99% of the time, which is such a hassle I end up chopping it again.

        I’m having one last stab at growing it and will try to maintain it … wish me luck!

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    • Oliveblanche

      Yes let it grow very very very long! Mine is half way down my back and the weight of it makes it behave. That and hair product and don’t brush!!!! Just don’t! Comb when wet. Oh I hate my hair sometimes but at this length we are atleast on speaking terms!!

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      • lovelifexo

        I agree Oliveblanche it took me 30 years to realise I should not brush my hair and let it grow long as the weight tames it. I brush just before I wash and look like I stuck my finger in a power point, I wash it of a night put a little mousse in and let it dry while I am asleep. Wake up and presto just stepped out of a salon. I now love my hair and am complemented on a daily basis.

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  10. Kris2040

    I’ve kept mine long because if I have it short, I look like the paddle pop lion. I had it short when I was a kid, but grew it long when I was in Year 7. Very occasionally it looks good, but it’s back most of the time. Strangely, it’s easier to manage long. If it was short I’d have to put so much stuff on it to look any good, and I’m just not that way inclined.
    I did have one of those keratin straightening jobs done, it was pretty good. It didn’t stay fully straight, but it’s been heaps easier to handle and has lasted since September so far. I have been using keratin shampoo and conditioner though. Haven’t tried oil yet, but I do have a little sachet of Moroccan oil to try out, I just keep forgetting!

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  11. Just M

    After a lifetime of avoiding rain & hearing comments like ‘You have enough hair for 4 people’, ‘You could make a wig with that’ (about hair trimmed off) or my fave ‘I’d hate to sit behind you at the movies’ I finally found a cheap & reliable way to control my hair.

    Thick & creamy conditioner (normally the cheap brands). Put in when wet & just left alone & all of a sudden I had curly hair instead of frizz – yay!

    All was good till I discovered I now have female pattern baldness & I’m losing my hair. Now I want my old frizz ball back :( Love your frizz

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  12. Suzie84

    Where can you buy this? I looked in woolworths today and couldn’t find it!!!! Help

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  13. IrishLaura

    The tip that made the biggest difference to my curls is when I read somewhere that you should never ever brush them. I no longer own a hairbrush, and my curls look way better for it…

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  14. Lizi

    You know what I love about this type of article? The coming together of all these people with the same problem – you can hear the ‘thank god I’m not the only one!’ warm and fuzzy feeling loud and clear across the land. Not to mention hilarious stories and photos of cute little kids. Loads of fun.

    BTW, I reckon you curlyheads will have the last laugh when you get older. My fine straight hair is getting limper and thinner as I get older ( sigh).

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  15. AJS

    My love has curly hair and I think it’s so gorgous. She takes care of it really well and I love her hair. The bit about curly hair is my favourite part of this hilarious video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51dFlpwKkBM&feature=related

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  16. Bittersweet

    I have very thick curly hair that tends towards the frizzy. I agree with Bern that oil is very helpful for taming the frizz. However, the BEST, BEST, BEST thing I have ever found for my hair is sculpting lotion. Joico does one called Joilotion. Juuce do one called Sculpturise. Both work equally well. PPS used to make one called Sculpt It that I used for years, but they changed the formula, and now it is crap so don’t try using that one.

    Sculpting lotion is clear and silky to the touch. I find it tends to “wash out” in plain water – you don’t get product build up if you wet your hair in between styling. It’s not like, say, mousse, which leaves your hair sticky and in need of a wash. I have tried so called curl creams and other types of lotions, but none of them come anywhere near close to a good sculpting lotion.

    I basically work about a good tablespoon through wet hair, scrunch a bit with my head upside down and leave to dry naturally. It gives beautifully defined curls without frizz, stickiness, crunchiness etc and I get lots of compliments about my curls. Nothing else works like it. I swear, if you have curly hair you need to try it, please trust me on this. I have read so many articles and books on curly hair, but none seem to mention sculpting lotion, which I can’t live without. On humid days I mix in a bit of oil with the scupting lotion before putting it in my hair to make extra sure I don’t get frizz.

    Other things that help? I never brush my hair dry. I only detangle my hair in the shower (usually with my fingers) so as not to mess with the natural curl. I only shampoo my hair only once a week, but “wash” with conditioner a few times a week. Golden rule for me is to mess with the curls as little as possible if you want defintion and no frizz.

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    • inkabinka

      Sculpt It has a new formula? This I did not know, and it certainly explains why it no longer works in my hair!
      I had a short hairstyle I liked doing in “twists”- Sculpt it was the only thing that made this fabulous look work… so 10 years down the track I decide to chop it short again for my funky look and Sculpt It doesn’t WORK ARGHHH.
      So thank you thank you thank you! So glad to know there is actually a reason!

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      • Bittersweet

        Yeah, they changed Sculpt It sometime in the last 2 years, I can’t remember exactly when. The new formula is essentially like watered down gel – nothing like the old formula. The other sculpting lotions I mentioned above seem to be basically the same as the old Sculpt It formula – they are what the hairdressers recommended when I asked for something that was like the old Sculpt It.

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  17. Lottie

    Yes and yes.

    A high-school teacher (A *ahem* few years ago) told me you could tell the time by my hair. Neat? It’s first thing in the morning. Messy? Lunch-time. Finger-in-electric-light-socket-look? Home-time. Unfortunately it is still true, tho high-school is way over now. It deteriorates as the day goes on and the hold-it-in-place goo, just can’t hold on any longer.
    Have been growing it long-ish (takes ages as it grows out from my head at right angles) and then torching it straight (which never really works) for a few months and then chopping it off to chin-length, when it scrunches up quite well, but takes maintenance (ie can’t tie it back) every few months. This has been the cycle for the last, oh let’s say, 15 years. Gah! How can I be this old and still not have solved my hair? AND don’t even START me on how hard it is to find a hairdresser who gets curly hair! No DON’T give me layers unless you are going to turn up at my place every morning to style it. OK?
    RAAAAAH! :)

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  18. rachel

    I too have the curse of curly hair – born with masses of it (so glad it didn’t keep growing on my back). When I was younger my mum used to do it in the tightest pigtails when it was wet (so tight that on a 40 degree day I could come home and take the pigtails out and it would still be wet underneath – I kid you not) and ringlets. Looked okay, cute even, and there was no frizz. Come my teenage years when I felt ringlets were not cool enough for high school and wouldn’t let Mum do it anymore, then I got the frizz. But wait, it gets worse. I used to have a lot of hair, now, after years of pulling it back to tame the curls and frizz, I’m going bald at the front. It does not matter how I do it, you can see my scalp. My dad is bald as a billard ball on top, and I have visions of myself going the same way in a crazy bob sort of way – so at the moment I have a comb over style, the likes of which I have smirked at when done by men of a certain age. Anyway, in an effort to stop the receding hairline I thought I’d get it cut too short to put up (so I wouldn’t be tempted) which has resulted in my poor demented mother looking around and asking people who that man is when I visit (which is every single day, so whilst I laughed about it at first, it’s getting a little boring now).

    BTW – three daughters one with very curly and frizzy (much curlier than mine ever was, and thicker by three country miles – when she gets a haircut, just the stuff from the thinning scissors could make 40 wigs), one with thick wavy hair (9 days out of 10, no frizz) and one with STRAIGHT hair – not to thick, not to thin, never frizzy, just fucking gorgeous (I think I love her most, when I can control the green eyed monster within me).

    As for product, I’ve tried them all, despite the other rule being floated here about curly hair being dry, mine is oily and limp, but still frizzy. So if I don’t use product I get the frizz, and if I do, it just looks greasy.

    PS – of course I don’t love one daughter more than the others because she has great hair! Would I transplant her hair to my head if I could, even if it meant her having my horrid hair, yes, yes I would … see what having curly hair does to you ….

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    • Kris2040

      My daughter has curls coming through – it’s the ONLY time I have ever wished my curls and frizz on anyone – her father has steel wool hair, so I think mine’s the lesser of two evils.

      Great post, rachel!

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  19. Gin & Tonic

    I have very curly frizzy hair too.

    My life changed the day I bought a GHD and I haven’t looked back. I still love my curls but I like them much better if I don’t have to have them every day.

    If my hair is curling nicely I keep them, if they are behaving badly they have to go!

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  20. YoungVintage

    Bern… I am SO jealous of your beautiful curly hair – I’d kill for hair like yours!! It looks healthy and full of volume!

    Mine is naturally really straight, so it just hangs there.. So uninspiring.

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  21. YogaJG

    I don’t give a rats if it’s sponsored. I resonated with every word of this story. I’m absolutely buying and trying. I LOVE having curly hair – hated growing up and did a pixie cut in grade 10 and could hardly wait to grow it back. I have long curly hair but getting the sleek non-friz curls is a challenge in QLD.

    This post came at a great time because my hair has been out of control this week. Giving the oil a shot!

    Saw a comment about getting it chemically straightened… did that once and it fried my hair so badly. I can get it straight at the hair dresser and will last till next washed but I don’t want to give up my curls/ afro/ frizz thing.

    JG

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  22. Lucy

    I was born with dead straight black hair. By the time I was 6, said hair was light blonde and went down to my bottom. I used to sit on it all the time and it really annoyed me, so I decided I wanted to look like Anne Sanders (no joke. I was a weird kid) and get a mid-90s newsreader bob. Hair went from being butt-length to just under my ears. It snowballed from there. By the time I was 10, I had an unruly mop of curls and it’s persisted to this day. I find frizz has ALWAYS been a problem, no matter what I try. Especially when it’s humid. I hate that I can’t have nice smooth hair some days, drives me wild.

    I still have problems with frizz, especially when it’s humid. Best hair product I’ve ever used is Schwartzkopf Silhouette vitalising creme… getting increasingly difficult to find and only available in Australia but it’s just sensational, leaves my hair feeling a lot softer and nicer than any other product I’ve tried. I also like the L’Oreal TechniArt range and, only available in the UK, Tony & Guy curling balm. The latter needs to be released in Australia NOW!

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  23. Anonymous

    Thanks for making me laugh. But seriously, your picture looks gorgeous. Embrace your wild frizz. Things could be so much worse!

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  24. Anonymous

    I was born with thick, fine and straight asian black hair. It was lovely – and my styled hair (curled, backcombed, etc) would hold until I washed it off. When I was 12, I cut it all off to look like Marie Fredriksson from Roxette (damn that “It Must Have Been Love” song!!). Spent the next year painfully growing it out and then lo and behold, limpy ‘curls’ and frizz. So every morning, the routine was wet hair, hairdry hair and lots of hairspray. When my hair got wet and was left to dry, it would turn into these flat curls that would frame my face and they were so so so so unflattering.
    Then I discovered re-bonding/ionic bonding and my life changed. I now have straight hair and it air dries straight. This means zero styling time and so so much less ‘chemicals’ being applied to my hair. Ironically my hair is healthier because of this chemical treatment I get every 6 months. Yes, it does mean that I now have no hope in hell of getting a curl out of it (falls straight again in no time) but I would take dead straight hair over my frizzy flat curls any day.

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  25. Quixotic

    Bern, I’m cyber-throwing myself into a cyber-hug with you right now. I have *exactly* the same kind of hair and hair-history.

    I long for glossy, smooth waves, and end up looking like I’m wearing a dead poodle pelt.

    I have spent a fortune on products, blistered my ears using straighteners and pulled half my hair out in frustration.

    I have always been afraid to try oils, but now am totally going to go out tomorrow and get some to try!

    Thank you my follicle-friend!

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  26. happyface

    Why don’t you get it chemically straightened? My friend gets this done and it makes her unmanageable curly hair smooth, sleek and straight. It costs between $99-$200 and lasts 3-4 months. Well worth it I think.

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    • P

      Maybe because she likes her curls, just wants them to be a bit more ‘tamed’

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      • Gene Wilder

        I’t sure as hell doesn’t sound like it, does it?

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  27. Cat

    Was absolutely loving this article until I got to the whole “sponsored” spin on it.
    How ironic that this writer says she’d go into hair care stores and be talked into buying every product out there, only to allow her article to be sponsored by a hair care brand. Surely the article could have just been left at oils are great, mmmkay. Perhaps even recommending coconut oil, argan oil, olive oil, jojoba oil and macadamia oil if you will without turning this into a brand sell out.
    I know advertising HAS to happen to keep the website alive, but I find it disappointing you’re turning published pieces into blatant advertising schemes Mamamia.

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    • bernadettemorley

      Cat, if it’s any consolation, this product does work. And my story is as it stands. And yeah, we’ve all got to eat. So I guess, take it for what is – an advertised sponsored post you can take or leave. Thanks for reading though. Means a lot. :) Bern

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    • perthie

      I agree, I would have preferred the sponsorship was stated up front, felt like a bit of a con getting to the end of the article and then the motive being revealed.

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      • Anonymous

        It is stated upfront?

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        • perthie

          anon, it isn’t stated that it’s a sponsored post until the end of the article right after the suggestion about how magical the product is. I would have preferred to know it was sponsored before reading the first line :)

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          • Molly M

            It states it is a sponsored post under the main picture at the top of the article – this is where MM always state it on these type of articles :)

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            • perthie

              Thanks for pointing out. I will scan first for said captions in future :)

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    • Bryter

      I agree Cat. I was really enjoying the piece (it was funny and evocative and I too suffer from “The Frizz”) but when I scrolled down and spied the sponsorship, I gave up. I wish MM would mark these posts more clearly at the outset. Not to mention that the piece is littered with spelling and grammatical errors. Not the writer’s fault, but the editor’s. But I dare not mention that as I’ll most likely be shot down with “you’re a wowser” and “get a life” comments.

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  28. Little drummer girl

    I love that article. I’m going to try the Dove product as well. There is also a genius product (only sold in the US) which is called Sprunch. I have it sent over to me (in QLD) from my cousins. I can’t recall who makes it (I’m out of it at the moment) but it is cheap as chips and is sold in any old drugstore. At 48 years of age, I have finally embraced my curls rather than pin my hair up or try and gel it into some neat and tidy shape! Curly haired girls of the world unite!!!!

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  29. Anonymous

    OMG! Your are me…Also born with no hair, became blond then dark but always frizzy (not curly…we know there’s a difference). I was born in a time when there was no conditioner and had the added bonus of a very sensitive scalp. So my Mum kept my hair about an inch long until I hit about 14 and rebelled with a rats tail ( you can imagine how that look brought the boys to my door! ). I also refer to myself as “The Wild Woman of Borneo”! …my husband calls me (lovingly – I think?) “Krusty” (cause I look just like him when I wake up in the mornings) – sheesh!

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    • bernadettemorley

      Ha!
      It takes a special man to still love that look in the morning!

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    • Kristy

      Is there a correlation between being born bald and ending up with curls!?! I was born bald never saw a hairdresser until after I was 2. Both my kids had very little hair when they were born. My daughter didn’t have her first haircut until she was 2 & 3 months and has the cutest ringlets (a nightmare to brush/comb) and my son is one and is not likely to need a trip to the hairdresser for a whole yet and the ends of his hair has started to curl too!!

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      • bernadettemorley

        Possibly? A scientific study should be done perhaps? :)

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      • vegas

        Sorry to bust the theory, and maybe I’m the exception that proves the rule, but I was born with a head of thick dark hair and now have an unruly head of thick dark curls… and looks like my baby girl is heading in the same direction…. alas….

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      • Quixotic

        Nope – my Miss 4 was born with heaps of hair, and she has inherited my curly, frizzy, flyaway hair. Poor thing.

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      • Anonymous

        This theory was sprouted at my play group recently, Two children, about to turn two, with hardly any hair.Curly haired parents?
        It’s not quite as scientific sample but I think you’re on to something.

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      • elli

        At my first birthday photo, a bow was stuck to my head with sticky tape as I didn’t have enough hair to tie up. I now have fine, wavy/frizzy hair.

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      • Dkmum

        I’ve always had fluffy wavy thin hair. In the early nineties I thought an undercut would be cool. Once that grew out I have been left with tight puddle waves. ONLY the undercut bits. Was contemplating a monk cut for a while, just to hopefully even things out as the hair on the top of my head is DEAD straight

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      • Judie

        I was born with really straight blonde hair. It turned dark, but I didn’t get curls until puberty (I thought it was the feather cut I got!). Apparently that’s quite common. Neither of my boys needed a haircut until they were two. My oldest then had beautiful white blond curls until he was about 5. His hair darkened to dark blond, and the curls left. He has a few now at 18, but only when his hair gets longish. My other son has dead straight hair. I don’t think his will change.

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      • kahli

        I totally believe that there is!! I was bald until I was about 28 months, and by 2 I had a huge mop of frizzy white hair. When I was about 9 I had this wonderful idea to chop all my hair off basically to my ears because I believed the top of my hair wasn’t as curly as the rest, needless to say it was _not_ a good look, my new nickname became, “Mushy” because my head looked like, uh, a mushroom and gone were my soft blonde curls.. in their place, dark frizzy, thick steel wool :( My hair is the worst thing that has ever happened to me – every day is a battle, totally not helped by the fact I live in Darwin which would have to be one of the hottest, most humid places on Earth. I am insanely jealous of those with straight hair. My eldest son has completely dead straight, beautifully silky soft hair with just the right amount of fullness, just like his Dad, and I agree with the person who said they would happily swap hair even if it meant he has to have my hair ;) My youngest on the other hand, has been given mine and my mothers curse of horrendous hair. He was born with not a single strand on his head – like not even a wisp – by the time he was 12 months old, it was obvious that he was going to be very blonde but it took another 6 months for the curls to make an appearance – he’s now 26 months and he has white blonde ringlets, but it is also extremely frizzy. He hasn’t had a hair cut yet because it took so long for him to get hair, it has only been recently it has grown to a point where he will need a cut soon. My hubby is from the dead straight brigade so he loves his curls – but I think he looks like a clown and he needs to be shaved asap!!! Genetics suck – poor boy

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  30. Ella

    MORROCANOIL INTENSE CURL CREAM!!

    i was introduced to it 2 years ago and it has CHANGED MY LIFE.

    just comb it through wet washed hair and curls dry calm and defined, non-frizzy but not oily or cripsy either, like so many curl products.

    i can honestly say thanks to this product that i love my curls!

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    • bernadettemorley

      Thanks Ella!

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    • Suzie84

      I love this but it is so expensive!!! Will be trying the new dove. I have curly hair And the dive shampoo and conditioner has worked wonders

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  31. essessesse

    I have curly hair. I’d just like to say how much I’m enjoying all the humidity and rain we’ve been having. I look wonderful.

    Anyway, I’ve tried everything. John Frieda. Aveda, Pantene, Frederic Whatsiname, that other stuff that’s supposed to be good for curly hair and nothing helped. The only products my hair will tolerate are Moroccan Oil Intense Curl Cream and good old coconut oil.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that my hair hates me, and that’s that. I will continue with my attempts to beat it into submission, and it will continue to laugh at me and fly off in varying degrees and directions.

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  32. looby

    The only thing that I have found that really works is the Keratin treatment done by the hairdresser. Yes, it’s expensive (about $350) but it actually is good for your hair ! I had it done almost 6 months ago, and it’s only now I’m beginning to think its time for another. If I wash and let it air dry it’s not dead straight, but has no frizz whatsever. If I want it dead straight, I GHD iron it and rather than taking 45mins like it used to, it takes about 15 – 20mins. My hair is naturally, thick, coarse and I have heaps of it. At present it is below my shoulder blades and it is coloured. I often wonder if my life would have been different had this been around in my 20′s. I feel more groomed and confident with non-frizz.

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    • Helen

      Yes, I have to agree with you. I managed to find a hairdresser who did the Cadiveau Brazilian Cacau Keratin Treatment for $229 and absolutely no frizz now. Blow dries in 5 minutes and I can walk out into the rain + high humidity and not worry about my hair turning into that of crazed woman. So much more easier to manage and hair feels very soft. I can even get away with not blow drying it when I couldn’t be bothered and still no frizz.

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  33. curlicardzdeb

    Hi Bern.Loved your story. Can totally relate to the life of curly hair. Mine is very fine but I have lots and lots of it.
    One of my ex-bosses asked me one day if I had just stuck my finger in a power-point !
    I had a girlfriend drag me into a hairdressers in the early 90′s and said to them “I want a perm just like this one” – I would have killed to have straight hair. Humidity – Oh my – frizz central.
    I’m definitely going to try this Dove Oil and I love Vita 5 CPR frizz – it’s FAB.

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  34. Judie

    I have finally found a system that works for my very curly hair. I use the Tigi Catwalk Curlesque products. Shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner and the Curls Rock Amplifier. I can go nearly a week without washing using these (since curly hair is soooo dry it’s better not to wash too frequently). I haven’t tried straightening my hair, because I know what it looks like fresh out of the shower, and it’s not good! Another important thing is not to brush or comb once your hair is dry. Damp hands do a good job without creating frizz. The less you do to curly hair the better.

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  35. shaezy

    Oh Bern!! I share your pain, only on behalf of my 3 year old daughter! She was BORN with a black ‘fro, and given that neither myself or my husband have her colour hair, or any ‘fro gentics I have spent the better part of her entire life fielding questions about where she got it (and the subsequent slightly raised eyebrows and mutters of “the postman no doubt…”) and trying to figure out how to manage it. When wet, it is down to the middle of her back. When dry it is up to the heavens. And there’s not a lot of in-betweenies. If she lets me, I can wrangle it into pig tails or a pony tail while it’s dripping wet. Otherwise it’s almost impossible to deal with. We use shampoo and conditioner for curly hair, leave in conditioners, straightening serums etc etc. Oil was my next stop. And don’t get me wrong, we LOVE her hair, but the knots. Oh the knots!!!! And god help me the day she comes home with head lice…..
    Long live those with ‘fros!!!

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    • bernadettemorley

      Oh this is AWESOME. To let you know, I know I joke but I love my hair. Despite what my face looks like, I can always do SOMETHING with it to make it distract from it. Not that your daughter will need that. Look at her, she’s freaking gorgeous! Long live the curls x

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    • essessesse

      Your daughter is gorgeous!

      I used to hate having my hair brushed or combed when I was little. I was the only curly in a family full of straights. Oh, the pain….

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      • xanthe

        I agree. When I was little ALL adults would run their fingers through my red curly hair, (I looked like “Annie”) without even asking me! I got to the stage where I would see “the hand” coming for me, and I’d hide behind Mum. She was puzzled but when I tearfully explained, she then must have said to people that I didn’t like it, and please don’t do it.
        But to this day, I have an absolutel HORROR of anyone touching my head! I hate going to the hairdresser – they can’t understand when I don’t want a shampoo and a head massage!
        I did the whole straightening thing, even ironing it with brown paper between hair + iron. It was shoulder-length or a bit longer.
        Then I got cancer and it all fell out.
        I thought of growing it again, but then I found I loved the freedom of wash’n'go, and also found it suits me, so I love my curls again.
        Curls rock!

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        • Just M

          I developed fast reflexes to avoid the dreaded hair touch or even worse the spring a curl. Once sprung it turned to frizz & there was no getting it back to a curl :(

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    • Expat in Asia

      I have 4 little girls all with curly hair (thanks to Dad). We live in Singapore & it’s humidity 365 days a year. My 7 yo & 5 yo both want long straight golden hair instead they have spiral curls as well. They love having their hair wet as they can feel their “long hair”. I too can only do their hair up when wet. And putting their hair into buns for ballet – they are on hard core gel! Friends of mine are amazed at the product I buy my husband & my girls – luckily I’m a beauty junkie so I’m happy to try out different stuff o. them. My oldest (with the curliest curls) didn’t grow hair until nearly 2.5. Didn’t have a haircut until 4.5! Each subsequent girl has had hair a little earlier – 2, 18mths & less curlier (but still gorgeous ringlets). I’m just frizzy so I love my Brazilian blowouts (yes I know theyre full of death inducing chemicals but I love the result)

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    • vegas

      so very cute!

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    • Just M

      Being the only big hair, frizzy fro in the family my mum had no idea how to do my hair. After lots of trial & pain the easiest way to manage my knots was to soak my hair in conditioner, section it off & use a wide tooth comb. Start from the bottom & work up. She would comb my hair every morn & night. If she skipped a session I would end up with a matted dread lock at the back.

      One bonus was I never had nits – I’m pretty sure nits knew it would be a suicide mission to try to get through my hair to claim their bit of scalp!

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  36. Zoe

    I can’t understand the curly haired pain. I have had dead straight hair all my life and am envious of all curls. I can’t believe curly haired people straighten it. The grass is always greener!

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    • Faybian

      Same. For my wedding, I had the practice “do” at the salon and the hairdresser took out the rolls from my hair and tried to fluff it up as it determinedly went straight again. I ended up getting a perm for one day. Gaaaah.

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    • bernadettemorley

      Exactly. Grass is greener etc. But the girls at school in high school that had the golden straight hair. Man I wanted some of that. I like my hair now. Most days. :)

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    • essessesse

      Curly hair doesn’t do what you want it to, though, that’s the problem. It’s murder in humid weather. It gets tangled. It goes frizzy. It’s disobedient hair.

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      • vegas

        It’s sooooo disobedient. It fights restraint!

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      • Kris2040

        Exactly! It’s a lot easier to put curls in straight hair for a change than it is to straighten or even calm down curls.

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  37. alyssakt

    Good to read your writing again, Bern :D
    I’ve been missing you on the Gold Coast.
    I hope the move is still treating you well :)

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  38. sam masters

    PS oh and this constant rain at the moment is not curly hair friendly!

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  39. sam masters

    Yep moroccan oil for me too!! OH and I WHY is it that every fashion mag and hair mag NEVER has hairstyles for actual curly/frizzy/flaz hair…. long or short.

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  40. curlycarm

    I have long believed that I am the queen of frizz I have long very curly hair that dries and damages very easily did I mention that I have lots of it. In dry humid weather it frizzes and boofs out unbelievably. I don’t have any hair taming secrets I can share because everything I try never works the curl always wins in the end and the frizz appears after about 3-4 hours. I rarely wear my hair down and choose to tie it in a ponytail. It pains be to say that my daughter has inherited my curls I feel for her deeply.

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    • bernadettemorley

      I have always been the same! My daughter ended up with white, straight hair. Cannot believe it. :)

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  41. anon

    My hair was crap and I didn’t know what to do with it except wear it in a ponytail. Thankfully my hairdresser recognised that I actually had really curly hair when it was cut correctly. Now I just shampoo (as somebody mentioned earlier) only every couple of days, use a little bit of product or in desperation, wet hands! and I have immaculate curly hair – no combing, brushing, nothing, just a little scrunching. Hairdresser did say that I should use an intensive conditioner at least once a week though, because curly hair tends to be drier than straight hair.

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  42. Anonymous

    Is there anything other than a perm, or is there a particular type of perm, to create nice natural curls (rather than the poodle perm), or to support/increase a natural curl?

    My hair is thin (but lots of it), with a very relaxed curl that needs product and a very low hairdryer to actually get curls instead of a frizzy wave, and it’s so relaxed, when wet/damp it’s totally straight – the opposite of most curls.

    I’d love to actually have curls without a shedload of work and product :P

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    • luckyducky

      my mum has had permed hair for about 38 years, as long as I have know her anyway. She has similar hair to yours I wish I knew the type of perm she gets, I would ring and ask her but she is o/s…it looks really natural, people are shocked when they find out it isn’t real.

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  43. Fellow curly headed friend

    I too have spent a lifetime trying to tame my ‘mop’. I too agree that oils are the absolute best, and while I have not tried the Dove Product (but I intend to…I am sure it is more cost effective) the current claims about the various Morrocan or Argan Oils are great and I can vouch for their effectiveness. Where were these when I was trying to get the latest style in a vain effort to have hair like Suzi Quatro(yes…showing my age!!!), but I ended up looking like fairy floss on a neck. Only those of us with naturally curly hair can really understand.

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  44. Kricket53

    My little sister has curls and when she was little Mum gave her an undercut because she wouldn’t brush it. Hahaha. Poor thing was about 6-7 years old.

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    • bernadettemorley

      An undercut? – harsh!

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      • Kris2040

        I wanted an undercut for a long time – I have thick curly frizz. I actually shaved my sides in a punky rebellion (not Brewster ;) ) when I was about 16. It was AWESOME. Rather than sitting out at close to right angles, I could have my hair out and it would just look normal. Loved it!

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  45. TLeaves

    .. I started out life with no hair…coming in blonde by about 2!!! and then it was dead straight until my late teens, when I had to crimp it or sleep in wet plaits to get even a kink.. then I moved to Melbourne, peroxided it snow white and from then on it was curly and frizzy!! (like my mum and sister), that was 20 years ago!

    A hairdresser said hair changes as you age, another said I had damaged it.. I dont know, all I do know now is that it has to be long to look any good, but it moults so much in summer its very hard to grow past my shoulders. It is so fine that I am sure I will have no hair by the time I am 60!

    I used to have a fringe that I straighted every morning but would frizz by the time I got to work, so now I am growing out my fringe, forget the straightner and just wear it up in a long lose top knot!! Thankfully the fringe has now just gotten long enough to be included.

    But… whenever I go back to Adelaide to visit the relo’s, my hair always relaxes nicely after washing it in the tap water there!!

    … now all I have to remember is to dye my eyebrows!!

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  46. cinnamon

    Yep I too am of the curly haired tribe although you might not tell looking at my photos since I straighten it a lot! I also had my hair cut short as a kid (oh god!) and I’ve had it chemically straightened twice, well 3 times but the first 2 times were when I was in my teens. Once at a salon and once a DIY at home….horrible experience and the SMELL! Just before my wedding 2 years ago I did the bio-ionic straightening, cost me $500 but left my hair dead straight for over a year even with washing it. But it’s grown out now although my hair is not as curly as it used to be, now it has more of a wave…which reminds me I’m getting my haircut tomorrow after 5 months! I can’t wait!

    As for tips for curly hair here are a few of mine-

    Dont wash your hair every day (curly hair gets very dry).
    Do a treatment once a week – best at home is with olive oil and egg yolks apply to mid and ends of hair and leave for 30mins.
    Warm coconut oil is good also.
    Avocado hair mask is great.
    Use a leave in conditioner.
    Use a wide tooth comb.
    Plait your hair at night and try not to use the hair dryer too much.

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  47. Urbane Fringe

    Anyone else’s curly hair go straight or straight-ish after having kids??? It seems in passing on the curl to them, I lost mine…and I want it back!!

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    • vivacious

      My Mum lost a lot of hair due to a very stressful time a few years ago and it grew back frizzy. That said I wouldn’t recommend stress as a hair treatment. ;P

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    • cinnamon

      Not in relation to having kids but my younger sister had the most gorgeous hair when she was a kid, it was straight al the way the ended it these curly ringlets…my mum cut hair her at age 5 and her curls never came back.

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      • Daisy

        Mine was dead straight kinda lank then after pregnancy went curly and frizzy weird! Also use to get hay fever but haven’t since again after pregnancy?

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    • mel

      This happened to me after each pregnancy, my hair would start going straight, so it looked like a bad perm growing out, as the ends were still curly. It then proceeded to pretty much fall out, so it looked like I was starting to go bald, then start growing curly again, and finally back to normal. This cycle took about 18 months to happen, oh the things pregnancy hormones do to your body! Having said that, I fine the oils a little heavy on my curly frizz, my pick is John Freida Frizz-Ease Secret Weapon Finishing creme, I have tried lots of things but keeping coming back to it, and it’s at the supermarket and cheap.

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      • Quixotic

        I use the John Freida Frizz-Ease Secret Weapon Finishing Creme and while it’s not the perfect magic bullet – it’s great for after straightening, or to cut down frizz on days that aren’t too humid.

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    • Bee

      Yes me! And I want it back too! Meanwhile the daughter has gorgeous curls. I just have waves and frizz. Sigh.

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    • Anonymous

      My hair got curlier after each baby.
      My mum’s hair went darker after each baby.

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  48. Sammie

    I’d love wavy hair. My hair is DEAD straight and super fine, all except for the bits that end above my shoulders, they just flick out (in an un-glamorous way)
    For my hair to not look like I am some sort of junkie (limp, straggly looking) I need to blowdry and run a straightener over the short bits. I can’t curl it, it doesn’t hold. Even after all Zoe’s tips I still only get maybe 8 hours of half limp looking curls.
    Wavy hair is the best of both worlds in my mind (and according to my wavy haired friends, my mind is the only place where it’s a ‘good thing’) as you can straighten OR curl it, and if it dries naturally people wont be expecting you to ask for ‘a dollar for the bus’
    Can you tell I’m not having a good hair day?

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    • guest

      I’m EXACTLY the same! dead straight. and there’s nothing I can do about it!

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  49. Frizzylizzy

    I hear you with the perils of curls without knowing about a little thing called product! I also know the pain of having your hair cut short cause your mum can’t manage it – although was not lucky enough to have the money incentive! Anyway my unsponsored opinion of curl miracle workers and frizz-frees is the Aveda Curly Hair range. Since discovering it about 8months back I have had amazingly controlled curls with a major reduction in frizz. It’s a little pricey (unless you buy it in the States) but worth it. If cash strapped leave the shampoo and conditioner and just go the styling products, although the shampoo alone works a treat!

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  50. vivacious

    The problem isn’t curly hair, it is frizzy hair. If my hair just curled I would be happy – the “halo” effect is what I hate.

    To make matters worse, I have a sister with long golden hair with the perfect slight wave. She doesn’t even have to blow dry it and she looks like she stepped out of a sunsilk commercial. Is it ok to hate her just a little bit?

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    • Kristy

      Omg I know exactly how you feel!! My sister always had lovely thick straight hair I have curly frizzy fine hair :( I hate my hair and I can never do anything with it. I always tie it back cos I live in an incredibly windy place so it just goes everywhere if I go outside :( I also am completely clueless about product

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    • bernadettemorley

      Yes. Just a little is FINE

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