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penis leggings 380x563 13 items of clothing you couldnt pay us to wear. (NSFW)

Would you wear these?

These pants are totally safe for work. Just don’t walk too close to your boss if you’re wearing them.

Or any person for that matter.

From a distance, there’s every chance the pants could be stamped with some kind of arty, cultural print. But if you look closely, you’ll notice they’re actually made up of tiny pictures of male genitals.

Yes, PENIS LEGGINGS.

(You can see them in the gallery below – and click through for close up)

close up 290x385 13 items of clothing you couldnt pay us to wear. (NSFW)

And a close up.

The great news is that they only cost €119 (around $190 AUD), they’re available in women’s – and men’s – sizes, and are currently in stock.

We checked. BAR-GAIN.

Admittedly, it’s hard to top that but we’ve done our jolly best.

Take a look at this gallery of the 13 most bizarre fashion items (via oddee.com)

 

 

Front heel shoes.

 

Comments

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39 Comments so far

  1. Bec from Melbourne

    Love the hulk PJ’s and brain necklace.

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  2. ravensthorne

    I would wear the chihuahua brooch, much less annoying than the real thing!

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  3. M

    One day, on a 43 deg day, in a frazzle I rushed into a surf shop, found a size of board shorts that I knew I needed, paid a ridiculous price for them, and delivered them to my son, who needed them that evening.
    It was only when I went to wash them, I looked, CLOSELY at the print.
    Photos of girls topless in g strings.
    My son was 15.
    He loved them, his mates thought I was a legend for buying them for him and I was mortified!
    They had an unfortunate accident with a bottle of bleach…

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    • SJM

      I love this! These are the moments that should be included in parenting seminars!!

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  4. Anonymous

    The brain necklace is awesome! I’d wear that.

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    • Loop

      I was just thinking that! Even without being paid

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  5. Bunneh

    Oh my god where can I get those She-Hulk pyjamas? That would be like Victoria’s Secret’s diamond-studded bra in my nerdman’s mind!

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    • Emmy

      Same. My geek is drooling over a female thor costume and I have to say… It’s hot. Nerdgasm!

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  6. Katie

    So, I actually need one of those brain necklaces. Where to get one? Not even kidding (neuropsychologist…)

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  7. Haven Maven

    Dick Tetris. Genius!

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  8. amyspeak

    I think I know quite a few people who would want to wear the penis leggings…they come across as arty and retro if you’re not looking too close.

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  9. freemel

    They are definately the wrong trousers – and wrong on so many levels…

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  10. Anna

    OMG, I had a dream not long ago where I had eyelashes just like that picture. They drove me nuts, I had to keep tucking them behind my ear so I could see.

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  11. ashamasha

    I’m a public servant, and I take public transport to work.

    There are NO WORDS for how much I want to wear a pair of penis pants to work.

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    • melinka

      Disco style!!! hahaha :)

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      • londoneye

        When I saw the disco style ones I immediately thought, I want to wear those to work on Friday (casual day)

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  12. Cekoorbb

    Wtf. Louis Vuitton have condoms!? Beyond strange.

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    • Ruth

      You’d never get laid cause they’re too good to use ;)

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      • Petal

        And probably too expensive!

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        • SJM

          So you get screwed metaphorically, but not literally!

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  13. Eva

    Gotta say I love the pixel bikini – finally a way for prudes and nudes(ts) to co-exist.

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    • neola

      best part is you don’t even need to wax!

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  14. Just M

    The bikini bottle opener could come in quite handy

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  15. jo

    Is it wrong to say I could totally be tempted by the Louis Vuitton condoms? But can you imagine buying anything LV, using it for 15 mins and then throwing it away…..

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    • Caris

      Probably the only LV item I could ever afford….

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  16. jedielf

    I’d wear: the boob scarf (but not in public), the feather eyelashes, the Hulk PJs and the brain necklace.

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    • Anna

      I’d get the boob scarf for my husband…. only he’d wear it, happily, and fondle them constantly. May be not then.

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  17. ticklishcamel

    I can’t say that I’ll be running out to by me some penis pants any time soon, but I have to say, they have done a clever job of making all that genitalia fit like pieces of a puzzle.

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  18. ANest

    Oh my… just, wow. The urinal dress has to be worse, though. It’s past funny …

    Can I just say: I seriously want those feather eyelashes!

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    • Flutter

      Me too! They’re a little bit burlesque, a little bit fab!

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  19. erinsy

    I actually think the joys belt buckle is hilarious

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  20. Anonymous

    Pretty sure all penis’ should remain on the inside of your pants – hideous! Hopefully it’s a joke…

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  21. Lealea

    Urinal dress??? Are you kidding me???

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    • Faybian

      Thats for those that are just dying to be p*^%ed on.

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  22. missjane

    Q: What’s worse than leggings as pants?
    A: Penis Leggings as pants!

    PS: How did the Kardashian Towel not make it to the gallery?

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      Gold!

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    • Flutter

      As much as you hate them, those Kardashians have a talent for marketing themselves…..

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