Alissa Warren Thursday 23 June 2011 11:26am

• (209)
• (68)
• (182)

Gwyneth Paltrow possibly on her way to gym class or maybe ballroom dancing.

Women of 2011,

You are falling victim to a fashion epidemic. Running tights are not pants.

The time has come to give up your addiction to gym gear. Because let’s be honest, the number of times you’ve slipped on your skins does not equal the amount of exercise sessions you’ve done, huh? So, put them back in the drawer next to the Speedos, on top of the goggles – back where they belong.

It’s a tough move but you can do it. I, too, was addicted.

There was a time when a pair of Lorna Jane’s would take me through from sunrise to sunset without absorbing so much as a bead of sweat. I’d wear them to breakfast with friends and claim I was going for a walk later that day. A lie. I’d wear them to the shops and pretend I’d just been at the gym. A lie. I’d wear them to pick up my son from daycare and say I’d been working out at the park. A lie. Huff. I’d even go so far as to pinch my cheeks (the facial ones) just before jumping out of the car to give them a rosy hue.

It was all so easy. They stretch, they’re warm, they’re black. They’re the only item of clothing that goes with joggers. And joggers are oh, so cosy. And that’s the problem – it’s all too cosy.

And so, I faced a spontaneous intervention from my dear friend, Sophie, on Sunday. (In my running tights. Embarrassing). We were visiting our friend Katrina, who gave birth on Thursday. Three. Days. Ago. She looked fabulous. After a good half hour (a good time frame when visiting a new Mum), Sophie took me aside. “You need to break out of those running tights. Not only are they hideous, unflattering and offensive. They have biscuit on them”. And considering Katrina, one of the newest Mums on the planet had mustered up the energy to slip into her maternity jeans – the least I could do was repay the effort in throwing them in the wash, folding them up and letting them rest until netball tomorrow night.

So, ladies, incase you don’t have a pending reality check on the calendar. Here’s a little intervention on behalf of all of us … for, all of us! Step away from the gym pants. There was a time when they looked hot – but times were different then. Hanson was cool. Robert Downey Jnr was in rehab. And everyone still thought Tupac was alive.

I rarely take fashion tips from the David Jones catalogue (or “look book” as they like to call it, which I think is a bit of a gee up. I digress) but this time, it’s a fashion necessity. Please note: None of the models in the first few pages are wearing running tights. “Ah ha”! I hear you say … “But, Alissa, they are wearing them in the back pages.” Yes, yes, they are. However, you’ll also notice they’re holding a tennis racket or weights. So, unless, you’re doing this or something similar – drop the gym gear, get back into those jeans and dust off your ballet flats.

Your gym-fraud-in-spirit,

Alissa.

Celebrities can also be culprits of the all-day tights (from what we can tell anyway) take a look through the gallery below, even if it’s just to reassure yourself that they HAVE to exercise to look the way they do:

Kelly Osbourne

•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
•