Superannuation. Taxes. Stocks. Budgets. Bills. Hardly words you would describe as fun or, for a lot of women, even remotely interesting. Unfortunately, this lack of interest means women tend not to invest, pay off our debts in time and it also means we are less likely to have enough money to sustain us in retirement. And that’s not even the worst part. Some women, coined ‘Cinderella Singles’ in financial circles, rely on men to save them from having any economic responsibility.
A British study has found that forty per cent of women admit they leave superannuation to their husbands to sort out. And despite the fact that we live longer, only 47 per cent of women are saving enough for retirement, compared with 59 per cent of men. Studies in Australia show a similar pattern.
“Women are still significantly worse off than men, despite almost 20 years of compulsory superannuation,” said Pauline Vamos, chief executive officer of The Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia (ASFA).
This news made my feminist heart break a little; did I just step back to 1950? You’d think the notion that women are sitting around waiting for a man to take care of them would be completely outdated. In 2011 we have a female Prime Minister, a paid parental leave scheme and as slow going as it is we’re finally making inroads to bring about equality in traditionally male dominated fields. But then I thought about who is responsible for money in my own household and realised it was something I had wiped my hands of a long time ago.
I don’t know what happened. I used to be so good with money, but as I’ve gotten older it suddenly got all too hard. No longer was it just about putting pocket money into a Dollarmites account or income into a term deposit to save for a car or overseas trip. I struggled to understand the jargon of the stock market, investing money seemed risky and I still don’t know what the Dow Jones index is. I’ve asked before but like Teflon, it’s just not the type of information that sticks to the walls of my brain.
And now? Well, I pay bills. My friends were pretty swift in pointing out that paying bills is not actually the same as thing as being financially responsible. Well, you got me there, and it’s true, even with the best of intentions and smart Kikki.K folders, I still can’t be trusted to pay them on time. I guess I’d just rather be doing other things. When my husband starts talking about mortgage repayments or share markets I nod my head like I’m listening but really I’m thinking about a dress I saw online and if I’ve reached my credit card limit. Guess which one of us is the spender.
Of course this isn’t always the case, many of my female friends are the breadwinners, invest in stocks, keep separate bank accounts and top up their super with extra payments every year. But with pay inequalities still existing between the sexes, by retirement women will have a smaller payout. In 2006 an ASFA study found that women will have approximately 50% less than men retiring at the same age. For many families, income is the main factor in deciding who stays at home to raise the children, often meaning it is the woman who gives up her career, job or full-time work and misses out on vital years to build up her super.
We know that women outlive men and the Australian Bureau of Statistics predicts in 2011 one in three marriages will end in divorce, so why do women still leave the money decisions up to the man?
How does it work in your relationship? If you are the one that shies away from making financial decisions, why?
And if you need some assistance don’t forget to check out this post where Penelope Joye shares 10 tips to help you get into financial shape
Comments
102 Comments so far
My hubby earns it and I look after it. Considering I am pregnant with number two and not working it’s wise for me to do it. My husband works away and I become the full time nanny, cook, cleaner and accountant. I think you should decide early on who is better at money, pool together resources and work as a team. So far (15 years) it’s worked well for us.
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My sister is a Cinderella Single!
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I’m the only person I know who sees a financial advisor. He sorts everything out and time and time again I’ve thanked my lucky arse that I had the sense to see him twice a year, e.g. when my roof fell in on my house there was a happy little sum of money waiting for the job.
So many of us out source our lives these days – we pay other people to clean, baby sit, do our taxes – but rarely do we out source financial planning. However, given that most people live beyond their means, visiting a financial planner should be right up there with going to the dentist and having a pap.
My future partner will certainly be informed of their obligation to do the same – I won’t be married to a sloppy money person.
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Nice article Nicky. I know I personally know absolutely nothing about doing taxes, investing in stock, or even what all of the names in the stock market mean. The only thing I do understand is the Aussie dollar, and what the figures mean in terms of online shopping.
The problem is, I have no interest in learning how to do taxes, or if I should invest in some stock when I (eventually) have the money. I have always been one to live in the immediate future, not think about investements and so on.
If I need to learn, eventually I will, but so far I am surviving!
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Great post Nicky! I’m only 21 but have recently been thinking a lot about my finances (or lack thereof at the moment), my super and stocks however I have absolutely no idea about anything! I actually feel quite helpless and don’t even know where to begin looking or who to ask for help.
I’d like to know what my super is doing and what the best thing for me to do with it is right now and how to get into the stock market.
I’ve tried Googling around but everything just sounds so tricky and complicated – not to mention every website offers different advice and I’m not sure what to listen to and trust.
f anyone could give me a few pointers, that would be great. Thanks!
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Visit a financial planner! It doesn’t cost much and they can either handle it all for you or point you in the right direction.
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I have a friend who is definitely a “Cinderella Single”. She is 30 years old and comes from a relatively well-off family (although certainly not millionaires). My friend, let’s call her Sarah, spent her twenties jumping from course to course, job and job, spending all her money on hair, make-up, clothes and clubbing and never saving a cent! She is now 30 and doing a uni course that’s she’s been doing for several years but seems no closer to finishing and working one day a week….at any given time she has a few hundred dollars in her account at the absolute most and zero savings. When I asked her whether she worries about having no savings, no money for the future and being so unsure about her career (she still has a few years to go in her course cause she keeps deferring/failing subjects so a full time job is still several years away) and whether she wants to buy a house/go travelling some day she always answers, “I just figure I’ll meet the right guy and that will all be sorted out.” Basically she wants to meet a guy who will own a house, let her move in, take her around the world, and take care of all her needs and not mind that she won’t contribute any money of her own!! The problem is she’s on the dating scene and having trouble with guys who dont’ wanna stick around because they sense that she doesn’t have her shit together so to speak and they don’t want to feel like they are with a girl who can’t look after herself (or like a walking ATM)!! *sigh* I’ve tried to talk to her about this but she says that she’ll eventually meet the right guy that likes her for her and won’t judge her for the way she is!
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My husband is absolutely hopeless with money, and I am the one who has to keep an eye on his credit card. I grew up in a household where my Dad would come home and just hand his paypacket over to Mum. It’s ended up the same in my own marriage, but not by design – I do wish my husband would take a bit more responsibility, but he just has no idea. I put it down to the fact that he came from a much more affluent background than me.
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I grew up in a household like yours, with Mum handling the budget. She still works on it every damn night.
Now I am newly married and I have married a man who isn’t a huge spender (thank god!) but doesn’t know how to handle budgeting.
I was looking forward to not having to be the one handling the money crap, yet it seems like it’s going to have to be me. I shared this thought with my husband who said that if I work out a system and show him how to use it, than we can both work it out together or take turns. Now I just need to find a system!
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Guilty as charged…
I have a mountain of unpaid bills. Just this morning I had to ring an elecricity company to ask them not to disconnect my power today. I have a few unpaid fines that have snowballed with extra charges. Not to mention that I often get distracted by the pretty new (**insert item of clothing here**) and buy that instead of paying a bill.
My style has always been to stick my head in the sand and hope that it all goes away (whilst wishing for Rich and Generous Prince Charming to come along, sweep me off my feet and rescue me from the Wicked Debt!!!!). I know, I know, it’s stupid and terrible and I am going to end up old and poor (and probably single forever because a boy won’t want a chick that has huge piles of debt!).
I have recently begun to face it all and the reality of being in my mid-30′s and in such a messy financial state is starting to hit home a bit more!
Thanks for bringing it to my attention once again and giving me further reinforcement to get my stuff together!!
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For many people, male or female, who take little interest in their finances I think it largely comes down to it being the unknown. I think it is crazy that money management is not a major part of our school curriculum. It is the one thing that every single student is going to have to face and manage at some point.
It seems it falls on the parents to teach their children financial awareness but not all parents have that knowledge to impart. I decided to try and break the pattern and attempted to further educate myself (still lots to learn!). My parents have openly discussed, in hindsight, their lack of knowledge around finances and the consequences of this. Money isn’t everything but financial security can certainly limit stress on family life and relationships and offer more choice or freedom from my observations. Two books that have taught me lots (in an engaging, motivating and encouraging manner – as I brought little background knowledge to the topic) were Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and for a more Australian perspective The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape. It’s pretty empowering when you demystify things that had previously baffled you and I can’t believe the difference it has had on reaching my financial goals which has directly helped me to reach lifestyle goals too. When I have children I will make a conscious decision to pass on what I can and hopefully they can learn even more to share with me and their kids!
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Best adivce I was ever given was: Be the man you want to marry. Goes for jobs, finances… everything. I have an investment property, do my own taxes, co-contribute to super, pay off bills in segments and only have a very small credit card debt. I was suprised to hear my female colleagues say the other day they have credit cards, maxed out, their partners don’t even know about.
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“Be the man you want to marry”
Brilliant!
If I have a daughter I am going to tell that to her from birth.
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some of the things I’ve encountered on this topic (and I have a keen interest in it as I come from generations of young widowed women who have had to work and died with nothing) … are that historically working class women have taken charge of the finances (as their men were apt to spend it at the pub after their incredibly laborious and thankless jobs) … and middle class women were more likely, historically, to leave the finances to their men (as the finances usually belonged to the men … the women too, historically, having belonged to the men). There are severe inequalities facing, especially baby boomer women, at this stage for their later years (my own mother has no super, no home and will be working til she drops, having worked since she was 14). It may change as x-genners claim some of the independence their mothers fought for … although I think poverty will still strike the lower classes with severity and cruelty. I think it is a dismal state of affairs that women’s work has so long been unrecognised and unfunded, that there are women living (indeed dying) from exposure conditions out of fear to turn on air conditioning or heating as they cannot afford the cost … or of course … are living and dying homeless. I think it’s tragic. We should be ashamed that our mothers are served such a great big plate of ingratitude at the most vulnerable point in their lives.
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Really interesting issue, I spoke to an academic about women’s homelessness earlier this year and she said that many women become homeless because they rely on men for their homes, or don’t consider saving to buy their own home until they are in a relationship – for some this means putting themselves in a risky position. She also said that many women don’t save enough for retirement because they spend years out of full employment as mothers. Some classes in basic economics, like super etc wouldn’t go astray in high schools.
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This is very opposite to us! My fiance has never even logged on to Internet banking! I have set up all the deriect debits to come out of our account (I pay off parts of our monthly bills every pay aka each fortnight, so that by the time the bill arrives, it’s already paid off), generally I consult him and then put money into our savings (depending on what we have on that fortnight, generally all my pay goes into savings and we live off his), one of us takes out rent and grocery shopping money (we do one big shop each fortnight, and then rent goes in cash to the landlord), and I recently started getting him to withdraw the money he’d spend on cigarettes so that we know how much left over in the account is daily spending money (coffees, birthday gifts that might be coming up etc). I’m very much the financial person in the relationship! Not because my fiance is bad with money, but because I’m a very organised sort of person and he can be a bit scatter-brained when it comes to paying bills and making appointments. I think this will always be the way it is – but to balance it out, I’m terrible with housework! Over the weekend I did a load of laundry and Exit Mould-ed the shower… probably the only time I’ve done it since we’ve lived here! My fiance does all the cleaning (vacuuming, I hate it! and cleaning the bathroom etc) and the laundry most of the time. All through last year he did the actual grocery shopping because I worked and had uni both fulltime, but now I’ve cut back to casual work while in my last year, we often shop together. I think this will really always be the way it will be. It works for us!
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Wow, we are the total opposite of this! I manage our household finances, am all over my super, life insurance, our mortgage etc… And started a share portfolio with a margin loan when I was in my early 20s. My husband loves to buy gadgets and has no qualms carrying credit card debt. I am also the higher income earner of the 2 of us.
I’ve never understood why others don’t take control of their money. A few hours of financial planning every year could allow you to retire years earlier – it seems like a no brainer to me! I do wonder how much is based n your upbringing – my Dad is a great money manager and taught me about the share market at a young age, wheras hubby’s family are clueless when it comes to money.
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This is bang on so true! Although in my house my mum has always been the breadwinner and keen saver although very true about women tending to shy away from diversifying their savings into multiple assets my mum just thinks risk and says no sticking to her fixed interest accounts. I’m ashamed to say as a 21 year old gen Y female I ALSO fall into this group of not knowing and have just got the boyfriend to invest in shares for me and start some sort of investment portfolio (in my defence he is a financial adviser/analyst by profession). I’m actually proud I’m doing something pro-active about my finances and thinking about the future I can’t even think of more than 2 of my girlfriends who are investing at the moment however, I can think of at least a dozen male friends who are keen investors and have been since they finished high school.
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My husband and I both worked full time with separate finances except for a joint account for groceries and utilities until last year. I paid the mortgage – I bought the house when single and it’s still in my name, although he did put a lump sum in after selling his place. We were both used to managing our own finances and previously had our own investment properites.
My husband is a financial analyst and qualified financial planner. My Mum’s response to finding out what he did was “Finally someone with financial nous!”. Although I managed my own finances I’ve always struggled with being interested and getting my head around it all. For him though it’s second nature and almost enjoyable. He isn’t by nature a spender, although he likes good coffee and wine.
We now have a one year old and I haven’t earned any money this year. After 22 years working it’s been a real shock. My husband is great and regards any money we have as “our” money. I find however, that I am still the “spender” in the relationship. For example my husband has never bought anything for the baby – not a book, toy, item of clothing, piece of furniture or equipment. The same goes for the household – he doesn’t see when we need new towels (I did ask him if he’d noticed the fraying, but apparently not), or sheets etc. This kind of thing never worried me before because I’d just get what we needed when I could afford it. It feels very strange to be spending “someone else’s money”.
Are most women the “spender” in the family; the one who organises to pay for the holiday accommodation, the kids swimming and haircuts, the towels and sheets and shirts and socks for everyone, the birthday presents and cards? Does anyone have a partner who does these things?
Perhaps women have a raft of financial disadvantages; lower pay, less time in the workforce, higher maintenance (clothes, hair, beauty) and more expenses through caring for others…
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Does that mean all your accounts are joint now? Or do you regard the baby as “your expenses”.
You’re in a partnership. That means all the family finances are for the greater good.
Your last sentance is interesting. You’re right about the financial disadvantages for women. Added to that is that behaviourally women usually choose more conservative investments. Perhaps precisely because they usually have less to invest?
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I have a Masters degree in a random (non-practical, non job-friendly) subject.
I also have a shit job and a psychotic boss. This is making me very unhappy, affecting my health and my relationship.
I am pretty good with money. Paying off my student loan. Have regular overseas holidays. No assets though.
I want to quit my job but I know the job market is really hard right now.
Worrying about my lack of super? Well to be honest, part of me feels like fuck it. I’m unhappy. I’d be better of not getting my super for a few months, taking longer to pay off my student loan, and then I can just work until I am forced into retirement. If I don’t have enough cash I’ll just top myself. I am sick of living in this stupid rat race, working a menial job I am too smart for and being verbally abused by my boss every day.
I’d rather just be dead before I hit 65.
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You need to start applying for everything and anything to get out of your current position. Your sanity is worth more than your job.
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I’ve managed the finances before (I saved up our deposit for our home and made my own investments). I don’t now, probably because after we got advised to put all our investments in my husbands name to enable the best return at tax time. Childish, I know, but it still grates. Any financial decisions however, are made by us both. While my super isn’t as large as my husbands due to kids etc, I contribute the maximum and have a defined benefit account. A few years ago, they offered me the option of switching it to an accumulation account, but I declined.
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… paying the Mastercard as we speak …
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I manage all our household/personal finances. Always have. Sometimes I wish my husband would take over the task… just so it would be one less thing for me to manage. But it’s probably better that he doesn’t. He is too liberal with money and I am cautious.
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I handle all the finances in my marriage. My husband grew up with a millionaire father, who taught him absolutely nothing about the value of money. I, on the other hand, grew up with a single parent extremely low income family. My husband is a tennis coach, and I’m a journalist, so together we don’t make very much money at all.
We have finally just paid off all our debts, but I’m trying not to get too excited about actually having any savings in the bank. My husband’s family is scattered all over the world, so we usually spend $5000-10,000 EACH YEAR on travel. I hate it and think it’s an incredible waste (not to mention the fact that we have never been on a holiday with just the two of us!). Hopefully one day we will have enough money to move out of our crappy apartment!
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I was a bit grossed out to see men’s pyjamas in the Peter Alexander catalogue with a T shirt saying “ATM”. Good grief…
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Maybe it means At the moment?!
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I hadn’t thought of that. Not sure my boyfriend would appreciate that either. Maybe “attractive tall man”?
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One of the most effective ways to take charge of your financial future is to take an interest in your super – NOW – not when you are about to retire.
There are some small but powerful things you can do, like making an extra contribution (even 20 bucks a week adds up, especially if you start young); checking if your investment option is right for your age (guess what, the default option probably isn’t), and ensuring you aren’t paying too much or too little in life or TPD insurance (yep, that usually comes as part of your super fund scheme).
Doing this stuff now – in your 20s, 30s or 40s – could be the difference between travelling the world in retirement, or eating baked beans on toast.
Oh, and I manage the finances in our house – can you tell?
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I have been a single mum for 2.5 years so it’s me, myself and I looking after everything. I have started a few businesses from home and am trying to save for a house and build my wealth all on my own. I am not waiting for my prince to come save me, I am all about saving myself. It’s exhausting and bloody hard work but I am posting this from Bali where I have taken my 3 kids for their first overseas holiday. This happened from understanding my finances and budgeting. Women who know nothing about their all important finances disappoint me….
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I take sole responsibility for managing our household finances and am proud of it! Growing up, my parents taught me about managing finances, always savings enough for emergencies and investing wisely.
My partner and I have lived together for 1 year and he is happy to let me manage our finances. I make sure bills are paid on time, money goes into our joint savings account, his loan is being paid off faster than expected, and there is a little left over for fun things like the movies. Frankly, he is terrible with money and is more than happy to admit it! Having me control the finances (but always tell him what I do with the money and having an open dialogue about it) works best for us.
I do have savings of my own which is my “nice things” fund – if I want to go out and buy something extravagant or go on a little holiday on my own, I do that with my own money. I also have a managed fund (Dad set it up when I was 14 and first started work) which is in my name but will be our nest egg when we get married. I read a great book before we moved in together called “Shacking Up” by Stacey and Wynne Whitman about protecting yourself just in case and would recommend it to all young women considering moving in with their partner.
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For a long time I was the sole income earner in my marriage. My husband just could not find work. I watched him getting more and more depressed, and he seemed to feel that his lack of financial contribution made him less of a man. To help him feel that he was contributing more, I suggested he be in charge of the finances. He loved it and has been doing it ever since. A big part of me regrets doing this as I now find it very hard to take some of that control back so we can share it.
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Hubby works in finance and is interested in numbers. He keeps me posted on what’s happening with our finances but, frankly, I’m not all that interested. Just like he’s not really interested in knowing when the electrician is booked to come, what we’re doing a week from Saturday or how much milk is left in the fridge. *shrugs* We divvy up what needs doing according to our strengths. The fact it falls along traditional lines doesn’t make me any less feminist or capable.
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As a divorced woman, I can tell you that you need to know everything about your own finances. Luckily I managed the joint money and made some good decisions, so I ended up with some money when we separated everything 50/50 – enough to start again. However, it is a bit depressing to have a huge mortgage on your own in your late 40s. And occasionally I feel a bit pi**ed off that my ex-husband has totally benefited from my clever management, despite doing nothing about it at the time.
My advice is always to have your own money and access to the workforce as many other divorced women my age are in serious financial strife, while their ex-husbands recover quickly. And these days now you can contribute to your own super fund, even if you’re not working.
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In lots of the relationships I know, the women are the ones in charge of the money. My mum is the one who keeps track of it all and makes sure bills are paid well in advance – although my dad is a maths man and perfectly capable of managing money himself. She’s a bargain hunter too, and able to make their money go really far. I have learnt a lot from her, and know way more about money than my bf – everything he knows about money, he learned from me!
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ironically, my husband is a CPA who worked in private equity when we met and started living together, yet I was the one who sorted out the best mortgage, credit cards paid the bills, got the taxes done on time
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I live with my BF and manage my own money…but to be honest, I have only really started to seriously save this year, for a big holiday, but I feel more comfortable knowing I have my own little ‘nest egg’.
My BF and I go halves in our expenses, which bothers me abit, he earns about $15k a year more than me, and I was abit bothered, when he got a pay rise that he didn’t offer to contribute more to the household, say him 60% and me 40%, which means he has more money for himself each week.
I have become abit harsh on him with “fun stuff” though, I kind of expect him to pay when we go out for dinner or to the movies or something now!
Honestly, if it wasn’t for him discussing super and investments with me, I wouldn’t have the urge to change up my super from ‘low risk’ to ‘medium to high’ given I am so young, he convinced me to give it a go, and I can reduce to low risk when I get into my 40s.
I also wouldn’t have even considered buying shares like I am considering doing at the moment if he hadn’t suggested it to me. I just don’t want to dig into my little nest egg to buy the shares, even though in the long run, it will probably work out better for me!
I’m also happy with the way we do things. I’m not down with having joint finances yet, and when we do, I will probably be equally as involved as he is in what we do with the money.
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Funny story… for me it was quite the opposite. When I met my husband at 23 he was very poor, living from pay to pay, no savings, no car, hardly any clothes… yep it was a sad time for him. Once things became serious between us I bought us our first home and I provided the car and bought him nearly everything he now owns, computer, clothes, car etc. I like to think he was my Cinderella
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Sounds like us!
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The title of this entry is interesting to me, because as a young-ish teenager my dad turned to me one day and said, “You know, Cinderella is dead”.
Harsh words but very well meant. He was trying to get me to see that there was no prince on a white horse who was destined to sweep me off my feet to a life of luxury and irresponsible spending. I wonder also if he was trying to make sense of the generational change that had occurred in his lifetime – after all, when he was married women (eg my mum) had been expected to stop work and get on with baby-making and being financially provided for. It was my dad, rather than my mum, who told me that those days were long gone and it was up to me to ensure that I was always able to financially provide for myself, no matter what happened (death, divorce etc).
Now I am married to a very busy man who earns well but has no time to do the financial side of things, and this has become my job. And I am loving it! The first time I completed a BAS form I felt incredibly accomplished, even though my Senior Accounting results were less than stellar. I handled almost all of the negotiations and loans / legals discussions when we recently bought an investment property, although of course the decision of what to buy had been a joint one.
Because I don’t earn as much as my husband being in charge of the finances is very important to my sense of contributing to the household. I am lucky though in having a husband who considers all the money that comes into the house to be ‘our’ money, no matter whether he earns most of it. The point is we both contribute in our various ways to the smooth running of the house.
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Great post Nicky. More money articles please!!
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Thanks GFP, with everyone’s comments I’ve become inspired to learn more about personal finance and get it working for me.
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The stats for both genders are pretty poor. I know that the more choices there are available, the less likely you are to engage in a process.
For Super, the Super providers that only have a single or few choices and where you only can choose one of three plans and whether to salary sacrifice extra (or not) are far more successful than those super funds that offer one hundred million different choices.
Plus, as the GFC has shown us, most of the super package choices are pretty much fiction where the blind lead the blind anyway. After all, in a world where sub-prime CDOs get triple A rated, even the most conservative super package may be simply a house of cards.
In short, less choices means more engagement and more savings in super (despite my glum views).
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And as a parent, my wife and I plan to do the “third/third/third” plan (for want of a better name) with our three daughters and son. We hope/dream/cross our fingers it’ll introduce strong money concepts at an early age to all our children regardless of their sex.
Take any amount as weekly pocket money
One third can be spent on anything, no input from parents (yes, even lollies or god forbit, Who Weekly)
One third is saved for a stated and achievable long term (i.e. less than a year) goal – like a surfboard or expensive barbie accessory or whatever
One third is donated to a charity – we discuss what charities are appealing and set it up. It can be anything – giving it to a beggar in the street or to the local RSPCA place or Greenpeace or whatever. (To keep costs down, a good subsitute for this third is time, like volunteer work).
Our eldest is currently turning six in a week’s time, so I’m guessing this is the year we introduce it.
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You sound like a great dad.
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I must admit, my thoughts on compulsary super have gone from thinking it’s great, to believing it’s very possibly a dangerous rort. Particularly since there doesn’t appear to be any real accountability for those financially managing it. They all still get their percentages regardless of performance.
From where I’m sitting there looks like there is a lot of corruption in the way the financial markets are set up to run.
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I still support compulsary super, but I also support strong regulation of financial markets.
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I agree. i’m just not sure that internationally the right sort of regulation currently exists.
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If you are not happy with the way your super is being managed, you can opt for self managed super and do it yourself. You can also have your super invested in cash if you are uncomfortable with financial markets (although if you are young now this will probably mean you won’t have enough to retire on).
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My husband and I share the financial responsibility. We divide it up between us. I contributed more before we had kids, because I earned more money for most of our early years together, but his salary has far surpassed mine now that I got off the merry-go-round and had kids, but I have always made sure that if anything ever happened I could look after myself if I needed to.
It is not just investements that women need to worry about. You also need to make sure that you have enough insurance. If your partner were to die unexpectedly at a young age how would you support yourself and your family into retirement?
I have never understood why a woman would leave her financial future completely in the hands of someone else who may or may not be around for ever.
I have seen quite a few women who live very lovely lives with very rich husbands. They gave up their careers when they had kids and have no part in the family finances except spending. I do have pangs of jealousy when I am madly trying to fit in exercise, cooking of bulk meals, shopping and general juggling around work when I see them off for a facial or a mani/pedi. But equally I have been thankful I have my life, when I have seen a few of them on their own, their husbands have left them and they suddenly have no way of supporting themselves. Their only hope would be to find another husband, which is no easy task when you are in your 40s and a SAHM.
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As the (current) sole provider in my family, we used the following to calculate how much life insurance we required and we adjust the amount every three years-ish.
Mortgage + childcare costs for all our children for five years + $100K, that keeps the costs as low as possible and puts my wife in a position to be able to return to work should I die.
But really, it’d be better if I just went into a coma, because I’m also insured for 75% of my income plus a coma would get the death payout as well. As my wife says, win/win for everyone (I even get a nice sleep out of it)!
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Also, all our savings are in her name for the tax benefits that provides, so I wonder if that leaves me exposed? Hmmm…
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I have two friends both single, both in their early 40s. One saves, invests and owns a house. She is providing for her future.
The other is living paycheck to paycheck, still waiting for a man to rescue her. Her plan B is expecting to inherit her parents assets when they die as it is the only way “she’ll be able to afford a house”. I’m not sure that she understands that if her parents end up requiring long term nursing home care there may not be anything left to inherit…
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And if she does inherit it, chances are she will blow all the money anyway and end up back where she started from. Because she hasnt got the financial know-how to look after it. How often does that happen with people who win lotto etc?
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A man is not a financial plan….
I handle all the finances for my husband and I.
I am more interested and knowledgable in it all.
We are planning for an early retirement…
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A man is not a financial plan … i love it!
That would be a great marketing campaign for a bank to target women.
you should copy right that.
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Oh, I cant claim it! I read it somewhere else
But I agree, it would be a great slogan for financial products aimed at women.
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I hate talking about money. My partner handles it all. He will discuss important money decisions with me but day to day stuff like paying bills is left up to him. He has a spreadsheet that he uses to monitor where our money goes and we have a budget. I like it this way because he is responsible with money and i’m not. I get given money each fortnight for buying food, transport and entertainment. I like that he controls the money because he is taking care of his family and making sure we don’t have to struggle.
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I think this is true of a lot of women I know. A lot of men as well. But I think from a young age it’s drilled into boys more than girls that what you do and what you earn is really important, and boys have the expectation that they’ll have to provide financially for a family. So they take money a lot more seriously than women tend to. But that’s just in general.
It’s so, so important to be financially independent, to have savings and a back up plan to be able to earn money and survive no matter what happens. To rely on a partner for everything and have no clue how to manage money is to set yourself up for a massive failure in the future.
I’m focused on saving at the moment, I can’t even describe the peace of mind that comes with having a chunk of savings in the bank. No matter what happens I know I’ll be ok to float for a while, it’s such a massive pressure off my shoulders.
I would love to see more articles on money from Mamamia! More on how to manage it, how to save, super etc etc. Please?
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It is also more expensive being a female. Clothes, haircuts, shoes, makeup, pantihose for work etc etc.
There are also alot more services geared towards women to part them from their cash. Facials, waxing, manicures, pedicures etc etc. It’s easy to buy into the concept that you desrve all that stuff.
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Yeah that’s true. But I think the key is to be really regimented and ruthless with your money, have a set amount of money you save each week and have your bills taken care of, then if you need more disposable cash to buy all that stuff you want rather than need then you have to work an extra shift to pay for it.
That’s what I do, it seems to be working so far. As soon as I get payed I put my savings into another account, leave the money for bills, groceries, etc (needs) in my account, then withdraw ‘fun’ money each week, and treat that as the only money I can use to buy stuff I *want* with, like going out, shopping etc.
But I’m single and I’m a nurse so it’s really easy for me to pick up extra cash by doing an extra shift, and I have no major expenses at the moment.
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That’s a good approach.
I salary sacrifice a certain percentage every month to buy shares in the company I work for. I also divert a similar amount to a separate savings account for larger household capital expenses (like furniture or appliances etc). The remaining salary, along with my husbands earnings go into the mortgage line of credit account. Expenses are put on credit cards, then paid monthly.
Unfortunately not in a position to work extra shifts as I am salaried.
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I have one permanent job, and one casual so I can control it pretty well. I am looking into salary sacrifice but I need to go to an accountant to figure it all out in regards to my HECS debt, etc. It all confuses me after a while and I have friends who have landed in tax debt through salary sacrifice somehow.
I’m scared of credit cards, I feel like it’s spending money I don’t have.
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Yes!! I try to tell my BF (we go halves in our bills, rent, etc) that he should contribute 60% to the weekly “household account” and me 40% because I have more expenses than he does!
He doesn’t buy it and tells me that I can afford to pay half, therefore I should pay half, and if I was flatting, I would have to pay half of everything so too bad!
Also, women go to the doctor more! Well, I know I do at least, he hasn’t gone for two years and I go often, including needing a dermo visit every 12 months for my mole check, which is really expensive and involves, every year, a referral from my GP (one visit) and then the dermo vist (two visit) then a big gap in what I am charge and what is refunded from medicare!
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I am single, but in a relationship I always go 50:50. I keep separate finances and still manage my money like I’m single, without considering his income as part of mine. I would not pay for him if I earn more so why would I expect him pay for me. I work freaking hard for my money! I think of boyfriends as friends – would I expect a friend to pay more rent for me.. no.
But that’s just me, I’m not judging you at all, everyone is different and what works for one person doesn’t work for another. I’ve always been really uncomfortable with people paying for stuff or even with getting unexpected gifts, I hate feeling like I’m indebted to someone.
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i found the Cinderella Singles an interesting idea and i see it in my own family. my mum makes excuses for my sisters about their financial situations but there are no excuses for me.
i am mid 30′s, married with 2 kids and recently resigned from my job. i am looking for part time work. my husband is supporting us. i am simply expected to be sensible with money. i have always saved and we are comfortable financially because both my husband and i try hard. we do like to spend too, both of us love books and have way too many, i love clothes and shoes. he has cars. but as our financial situation has changed due to having children and me changing to part time work we’ve had to change our habits.
one sister is mid 30′s, single and is saving for a property. she is a big spender and complains how hard it is to save and she needs to earn more when the reality is she just needs to try harder to spend less. mum constantly makes excuses for her like: “she’s single so she needs to have a life”. WTF? i don’t need a life? is spending money really having a life? my mum clearly thinks it’s ok to be a financial idiot if you’re single. the thing is she may meet a man who’s no good with money. so there will be no financial rescue.
i’ll point out that my husband and i do not invest in the stock market (and i can see why many are scared of that after the last couple of years). we don’t have an investment property but would like one later on down the track. We’ve always just paid as much of our mortgage as we can and we’re onto our 3rd house (we only own one). so we’re not financial experts by a long shot. but we just try to keep our debt to our mortgage only, no interest free purchases and we try really hard to go easy on the credit card. but it is a joint effort. i do need to talk to my accountant about super though.
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I’ll have been out of the workforce for 8 years when I finally get back into it, after having kids. And even then I’ll only be going back part-time. We don’t even think about our super right now, couldn’t tell you a thing about it, we just work on making ends meet with one-income. My hubby knows very little about the finances, he finds it too depressing to know the exact amounts. I know everything in our budget right down to the last cent and that’s why we don’t have credit cards. Everything we buy is cash only. Can’t afford it, can’t buy it. As much as it frustrates me that he won’t ‘help’ with the finances, he’s working his bum off to bring home the bacon, so I cut him some slack and truly, I probably wouldn’t trust him with them anyway
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Women’s lack of superannuation has nothing to do with their lack of interest – it is because they are more often in and out of the workforce for childrearing etc and are paid less in the first place.
40% let their husbands organise the super? In my experience, it’s pretty likely that the other 60% are doing their own AND their husband’s – they still can’t make money out of nothing, in the case of their own super.
Women are not sitting around waiting for men to look after them, and women are spenders for the household, not just on unnnecessary things for themselves.
This article is really skewed – the issue is about pay inequalities, and lack of support for women’s financial well-being while they’re having children.
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Yes, women are the spenders in the household. It was interesting plugging a year’s worth of bank statements and card data into some budget software.
At first I was horrified that the majority of expenses went through my credit card (which I knew anyway – after all I organise all the bill payments). Did I have a spending problem?
My husband’s credit card spending generally fit into three categories.
Supermarket (occasional), petrol, hardware store.
Mine covered: supermarket shopping, utilities, , clothing the family, hobbies, kids out of school activities, etc etc.
It’s interesting that I immediately felt guilty (though that was quickly rationalised) even though the majority of the money went on the essentials of running a household.
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My husband and I make all major financial decisions together, but the day to day finances (budgeting, bill paying) are my domain. He doesn’t know the internet banking password, but checks the statement each month. I have a fair idea how much super we each have and made investment changes for mine. I have always had a fair idea of how super works – having a dad and brother who work(ed) in the industry helps.
When I was single I paid off a couple of loans early and have always paid bills on time. As far as investment goes, well, the sharemarket scares me a bit so my investment decisions have been very conservative.
I have heard of too many women who have been left in the lurch when their husband died or left them because they had no idea how their finances worked, I never want to be in that situation so I know where our money is and the house is in both our names.
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I just sold my place last week in 5 days and made a tidy profit of $140k, some will be going into my super and the rest towards a new place, I have only one credit card with only a $500 limit.
I have direct debit on all my bills (even my rates) so I am never late paying a bill, I also save 10% of what I earn.
My man is hopeless with money, but I am slowly showing him how to change this attitude to spending and the difference between wanting something and needing something.
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I think I should change my credit card to having a $500 limit too or at least $1000. Would definitely help curb my internet shopping addiction, thanks Alexa!
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I do that as well. $1000 limit. It’s funny how hard that is to do with your credit card provider.
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I can imagine! I keep getting phone calls and letters telling me I’ve been approved for a limit increase.
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I don’t have a credit card. I have a Mastercard Debit card, so I can shop online, but I am using my money. It works well for me. Last week I was at the bank asking about a home loan and they were very surprised that I didn’t have a credit card with them or any other institution.
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Same here. No credit card, just Mastercard Debit for online purchases. The problem with CC is people act as if the limit is cash in the bank. Far from it. Pay it off, cut it up and get a debit and life will be much more stress free.
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Mine is $1000. I have never even gone over it. The most I have ever owed on my credit card was about $700 and I felt physically sick at owing that much on it!
The bank always tries to get me to up it, but I don’t need it!
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This is a subject very close to my heart. It infuriates me that smart responsible women who are fantastic at other areas of their lives leave the handling of financial matters to their spouse/partners.
In our household we do things as a team. But we might also be an exception as we also have joint accounts. Communication about money is easy and quite open as we track every amount and know where we need to reduce our spending etc. On the investment side, final say on purchasing shares is down to me as I have more idea what the market is feeling than my hubby.
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I’ve been surprised at the number of people that don’t have joint accounts.
It obviously helps if you have similar attitudes towards money.
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I had to learn to manage my money properly…especially after I had babies. My ex would make me beg him for money to get something for the kids, so rather than beg I learnt to go with out. No new clothes, no haircuts, no hair dyes…only essentials so the kids had everything they needed. Isn’t that what being money smart is all about? Learning to go with out to put the extra money to better use?
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Your ex sounds like an asshat. Why should you beg for the money when he should be providing for his kids. You sound like a wonderful mum. I hope you do spend money on yourself sometimes too.
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I agree. All money I earn goes straight into our joint bank account. I find the idea that when in a committed relationship you need separate bank accounts somewhat bizarre, as if you need a nest egg in case you want to do a runner.
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Funny this topic comes up today – last night the BF and I were talking about how I know NOTHING about money. He’d had a visit from a mobile lender re: extending a loan, paying off car loan…thingy….stuff…. see? I can’t even remember the vaguest of details! He’s a teacher and was putting it in easy to understand (for HIM, and probably a LOT of other people) language and being very patience and still I was looking at him with absolutely no understanding of the conversation at all. As much as I hate to admit it, I have no desire to know this stuff. And I know I need to! It’s frustrating! I like the article on here ‘How high is your life IQ’ – previously I’d dated the biggest losers, who barely had a license, let along a wallet with credit cards in them! And now my BF (who’s 30 next year so should know this stuff!) comes with all the boxes ticked and more
I’m happy he’s there to help….but I wish I could get motivated. I think I might buy one of those commerce / economy for dummies books……. 
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Is there a Cinderfellas version? Because money and I go together like electricity and water. I’m terrible with it. Always have been and suspect I always will be.
I pay my bills and that’s about it. The rest is for what I broadly term as ‘living’ which can span the breadth of shopping, eating out, entertainment and spending far too much on cabs because I have an aversion to buses.
A fool and his money…
The good news for the aspiring writer within me is that ‘artists’ are meant to suffer for their craft, right? Totally on the right track.
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As long as you’re saving too Rickstar! Nothing wrong with spending money when you’re young, but start saving NOW.
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Nope…no saving here! I really should get on to that…
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Easiest was to save is to have aseparate account and as soon as you’re paid transfer funds there first! Then pay your bills. Then divide the rest in 4 and take out said amount and only spend for that week. Easy as!
Ubank (not a sponsored comment) have a great rate of 6.5% or thereabouts.
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Love Ubank! Put 10% of your pay in automatically; you won’t miss it and you’d be surprised how quickly it accumulates.
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hehe, ‘like electricity and water’. You’re great, Rick.
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I dread when I get old as I’m not from here ao don’t have any kind of super at all! I’m 32, nearly 33 and not working due to having kids later im due number 3 in the new year so this baby won’t start school until 2017!!! If I leave myself as a sahm I’m going to be nearly 40 with no super!! My partner says not to stress ad his money will be ours and when I do start work we can top it up BUT as much as I love my partner I still always think what if!! What if he leaves/meets someone else/dies then the kids and I are pretty much up the creek!!
Once this new baby is here and one plus I’ll start uni again to try getting started on a belated, child friendly career!! If it’s possible!!
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my understanding is that *if* he left you are entitled to the value of half his super as his spouse. if he dies, you get all of it, although your kids (depending on their age, and whats in his Will) may also be partial beneficiaries.
As far as giving yourself options, if you find yourself with any spare time you could try self education. I know people who put their kids in care 1-2 days a week so they can do Tafe Courses or Uni work (even by distance) so that when their kids hit school, they are qualified and ready to hit the ground running in the workforce…
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I did a couple of TAFE courses from home while the kids were little. If you do it by correspondence you can do the work in your spare time (when kids are in bed usually), and a lot of it these days is done by emails.
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Yeah i do my uni degree via correspondence (admittedly im not a parent yet!) and love the flexibility. I plan on doing my postgrad degree part time when i eventually start a family.
I have friends that are already doing it and for that reason i think i would recommend it to anyone!
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Just make sure with the super your partner has a binding death benefit nomination form submitted (can’t remember exactly what its called) that way you would definitely get every cent of his super if he died, without it you may have to fight the super fund to get what you are entitled to.
Now that I’ve passed on that advice I just have to go and do it for myself
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