We’re counting down the most popular posts on Mamamia this year from 20 to one. Coming in at number 7? This one by Mamamia’s Managing Editor, Jamila Rizvi.
Number 7: “Yes I’m a feminist, why aren’t you”. by JAMILA RIZVI
Marissa Mayer is not a feminist.
Marissa is the CEO of Fortune 500 company Yahoo. She is one of the world’s most successful businesswomen and when she announced last week that she is about to start a family, she got everyone’s attention. Here is a woman who really does seem to ‘have it all’ and yet on the topic of feminism, she told AOL:
“I don’t think that I would consider myself a feminist. I think that I certainly believe in equal rights, I believe that women are just as capable, if not more so in a lot of different dimensions, but I don’t, I think have, sort of, the militant drive and the sort of, the chip on the shoulder that sometimes comes with that.”
This is a woman who has benefited enormously from the women who went before her. A woman whose achievements are noteworthy in and of themselves but at the same time, a woman whose achievements would never have been possible without the feminist movement.
Yet Marissa Mayer takes that feminist name tag, casually chucks it into the garbage and wipes her hands of it. And she is not alone in doing so.
More and more, women are distancing themselves from the term ‘feminist’.
Surveys consistently reveal that as few as 30 per cent of women in Australia, Canada, the US and the UK consider themselves ‘feminists’. And the number of self-identifying feminists only decreases when you survey younger women.
Caitlan Moran in How to be a Woman asks the respondents to these surveys:
“What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”
Somewhere along the way being a feminist has become associated with hating on men, rather than being equal with them. So, I can see why women like Marissa Mayer, who work in male dominated professions, simply cannot afford to attract the label of ‘feminist’. After all, success doesn’t come to the woman who throws her hand up in the air and says ‘look at me, look at me, I’m a man-hater’.
But even beyond the corporate world and in our day-to-day social interactions, calling yourself a feminist triggers eye rolling, grimaces and complaints of political correctness having gone too far.
‘Feminist’ is a term that teenagers use to insult each other. What’s even worse is that we are now seeing women use their rejection of the feminist label as a way to endear themselves to men. Refusing to characterise yourself as a feminist has become code for saying “I’m all for equal rights and stuff but not in a scary threatening way cos’ I think boys are just the bees knees.” Calling yourself a ‘non-feminist’ is just another way of being more alluring.
Jezebel’s Katie Baker says that “the goal of the movement is equal opportunity, not gratitude and actions speak louder than words.” She argues that it doesn’t matter if Marissa Mayer doesn’t consider herself to be a feminist because Mayer can still be a feminist role model.
I disagree. I want to know when we decided that it was okay to enjoy all the benefits of equal rights while disassociating ourselves from those who fought for those rights in the first place?
As a single, working woman in 2012, I stand on the shoulders of giants. I stand on the shoulders of the women who went before me. And I am grateful to them.
I am grateful to the women who fought for my right to vote, to open a bank account, to own property and to order my own goddamn drink at a bar.
I am grateful to the women who said I should be able to keep my own name if I want to, the women who got rid of the ‘obey’ part in marriage vows, the women who said my life could be about more than a clean house and a well set table.
I am grateful to the women who were called evil, who were called baby killers and who were called witches. The women who took all of that crap, so that my girlfriends and I could control and make choices about our own bodies.
I am grateful to the women whose fight won me the right to marry the person I love and start a family, while still being allowed to pursue a career outside the home.
And what I fear more than anything else is that the women of future generations will not have anything more to be grateful for. I fear that the young women of 2062 will look back on me and my generation and wonder why we dropped the ball.
Because as far as we have come – there is still a huge way to go.
Women still earn around 80 cents for every dollar that men earn over a lifetime. And this isn’t just about who has the bits that make the babies. Australian women earn less from the very first year after they graduate from university and TAFE.
Women still carry the burden of around two thirds of unpaid work and caring duties.
Women are almost 51 per cent of the population and yet we hold less than 30 per cent of elected positions in the federal Parliament. We hold 8 per cent of board directorships and 10 per cent of executive management positions.
Nearly one in five of us will experience sexual assault, one in three will experience some kind of family or domestic violence in our lifetimes.
We earn less, we are heard less and we are hurt more.
And all of this pales in comparison, to the women around the world who still do not share the basic rights, safety, freedoms and equalities that here in Australia we all take for granted.
To every woman still reading my rant, I say this: Yes, you are a feminist. All that little word means is that you believe in women’s equality with men. It’s not scary, it’s simple.
So let’s stop wasting our time ‘reclaiming’ words like c*#t and start reclaiming a word that really matters.
And let’s start doing that today.
Feminism is ours. It is an ideal, a thought, a vision that was designed by our mothers and our grandmothers and our great grandmothers, but it is still relevant today. It isn’t something we should take for granted and it isn’t something we should forget.
Let’s not let feminism become a dirty word on our watch.
Let’s give our daughters and grand daughters something to be proud of too.
And while I’m at it, I will add this.
Girls – your boyfriend should be a feminist. So should your husband and your brother and your mates and your son. Because just like I can be a supporter of the civil rights movement and not be black, they can be feminists without being women.
My name is Jamila. I’m an ordinary gen Y woman. I shave my legs, I own red lipstick, I wear 5-inch heels. I love my job and I love men – from the one who fathered me, to the ones I live with, to the one I want to share my life with. I’m a feminist and proud of it.
And you should be too.
[Share this post via email, Facebook, Twitter or old fashioned word of mouth if you agree]
Here are some feminists who inspire us:

Lauren Jackson, basketballer
Do you consider yourself to be a feminist?










Comments
42 Comments so far
I am not a feminist. By loving my husband and children and choosing to stay at home to manage it and care for my loved ones, I seem to have excluded myself from the feminist club.
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I am unsure whether or not you believe that you are unable to be a feminist due to notions of it being a radical club or whether you choose not to be. If you believe in equality then you are a feminist. True feminism does not judge you for your choice to stay at home it simply wants it to be just that..a choice.
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No, if you believe in equality then you are an equalist or humanist. It is hardly equality to follow a movement that only sees issues facing half the worlds population. How anyone can think a gender specific term denotes equality and respect for all is beyond me.
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Which part of that makes you not a feminist?
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I’m a 21 year old man. I’m not a feminist. I respect women, I strive to get the women around me equal opportunities and never in my life have I even slightly disrespected a woman in any form.
I’m not a feminist. I’m a human being.
I refuse to be associated with a movement that says it strives for women but ridicules them in the same breath. Its a shame.
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I don’t understand. I don’t think feminism “strives for women but ridicules them in the same breath” at all. I think feminism has made it possible for women to be free in so many ways, and will continue to do so if we continue to uphold the ideals it strives for. I am a feminist.
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It might have something to do with the way working women bag the crap out of stay at home mums.
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It’s about the reaction that woman got because she said she wasn’t a feminist. She said she believes in equal rights and opportunities. But why were feminists so quick to jump on her comments and make her out to be the villain? IMO, by being an independent woman heading an MNC and making her own choices, she is empowering the feminist movement involuntarily. But for feminists to bag her for airing her honest opinion is rather disappointing.
Why can’t feminists respect a different opinion? Why does every woman have to confirm to their ideas?
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We can still appreciate and thank the woman before us for making it possible for us to vote etc etc without having to label ourselves. She isn’t labelling herself because she’s simply living the life she wants to live. She isn’t a CEO because of woman in the past she is a CEO because of her own hard work, sweat, tears and sacrifices that I’m sure she had to make to get where she is. I’m not a feminist….. I believe in equal rights, I am anther that has gone back to work in a successful career, a career I built. Yeah the woman of the past did fight for my right to go back to work, I get it I appreciate it but when do we stop & make people responsible for the actions of the past!!
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She’s living the life she wants to live (as are many women) purely because of the women (there was definitely more than one) before her.
If you don’t think that you should be restricted because you’re a woman, you’re a feminist.
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Kris,
Why should anyone have to think of themselves as a feminist because they believe in equality?
I believe that men should not be restricted simply because they are men, does that make me a masculinist? I don’t think so.
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When have men been restricted because of being men? Are men losing out economically because they’re men?
Women have been, still are, and will continue to.
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Is economics the only measure of well being and therefore disadvantage and victimhood is it?. So we ignore mens issues relating to worse health outcomes, family work balance, suicide, mental health, work safety etc, because it is not your definition of ecenomics?
And while on the3 subject of economics, not all men sit atop the economic ladder in this country. I would think many males would happily switch jobs and salary with many of the readers of MM.
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No, it was the only example I put there in response. I think you know it was by no means an exhaustive definition.
Is there anything stopping men accessing doctors, psychological and mental health help, or help at work? A doctor’s appointment takes a phone call. None of that stuff is feminism’s fault.
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is there anything stopping women getting a better job if they are not paid enough?
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That employers openly admitted here that they don’t employ women they deem likely to want to be having kids in the future, yeah, there’s pretty good reason for women not getting those higher paying jobs. Losing out on super for being the ones who (largely) stay home and look after kids for a few months/years…
That’s not a choice, that’s because women are the ones who have babies. And it shouldn’t then be the woman’s problem for not marrying a financial plan.
Women overwhelming are expected to chuck in jobs to look after sick kids or relatives too.
You didn’t explain how any of the issues faced by men are either feminism’s fault or can’t be remedied by men just availing themselves of the services mentioned.
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Yes, their reproductive organs.
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Kris, you sum up feminism perfectly. Any problem facing women is the fault of the patriach. Any problem facing men is men’s own fault and we should just harden up and blame ourselves in the process.
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How can it not be the fault of the patriarchy when until very recently it was men in decision making roles, you know, making the decisions?
There are still people freaking out at the idea of a female prime minister. Even until the late 70s women couldn’t be school principals – they could only be Infants mistresses.
If women take it upon themselves to stand up and go for the jobs that pay more, that’s awesome, and of course, as a feminist, I wholeheartedly support that.
Women having rights and playing on a more level ground doesn’t mean that men lose rights.
Tell me again what is stopping men from ringing the doctor and making an appointment?
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So, she’s CEO of a major company,flipped out some people by heading back to work soon after having her baby, yet states she’s not feminist and hasn’t a chip on her shoulder?
Uh, sorry Marissa- you don’t get to where you are,standing up to the waves of social expectation as to the roles of women/mothers,without having something.
You would have to have some sort of chip on your shoulder in the same way those ” militant” types who also bucked trends have.
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Judging women who may not conform to th expectations of feminists is a tad hypocritical isn’t it? I thought women were meant to support our individual choices and our freedom of choice. Isn’t a part of feminism and women’s rights?
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Again, people becoming defensive. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you have to be out there fighting for a cause as Anon suggests below. You just have to have those core beliefs and attitudes and live your life accordingly.
We wouldn’t have arguments about it if people actually correctly understood the term. According to the Oxford English Dictionary it is “belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes”.
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It is not about the meaning of the word. It is about how women and men choose to express themselves regarding their belief . There is always someone who is too extreme just like there are others who are not pro active at all. Yes it is about the way a person personally chooses to live which is howwomen should support feminism but there is no need to criticise those women who don’t heavily support feminism if at all. The article was almost downing those women who don’t heavily support feminism and that is where my criticism came into it. I am not against feminism nor am I against those who are the forces behind it. I am not disagreeing with what feminism means in terms of the dictionary or in terms of people’s perceptions. What I am against is the insistence that we all have to be loud and proud feminists- and how dare those who aren’t. We don’t have to all show our support in the same ways and we shouldn’t be expected to.
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That’s right Daisy. Go girl.
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Being a feminist is a choice really. We shouldn’t be made to feel pressured or bullied into proclaiming to being a feminist or as Jamilia puts it, trying to be alluring to the opposite sex if we don’t proclaim it. Bullying tactics or guilt trips are not healthy ways to promote feminism or any cause for that matter. I strongly believe in equal rights for women and men and believe we should all be equal both to each other, to the law, to our employers , to society. But we don’t need to be aggressive about this movement. That is when feminism gains a bad name and when ppl will roll their eyes when the word is even mentioned. Our ancestors fought for our rights to be equal and I couldn’t be prouder. But they would also want us to enjoy our freedom , in a way they never could and not to waste our precious years fighting and protesting. Make do with the life we have and little by little cut away at the mould society tries to shape around women. But do it with dignity.
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Comments like Marissa’s might be disheartening but they also are evidence of the power and achievements of feminism!
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Yes I am a feminist. It is a word that needs to be re-claimed. I thank all those brave women who went before me to give me the rights I now enjoy but never take for granted. There are more battles to be won for our sisters who are not white and middle class and capable of wearing short skirts and high heels. There are heartening trends like micro loans to third world women but the brutal rape and death of the Indian woman recently gives us all pause. I have a daughter and I pray no ill ever comes to her. Equal pay and real maternity benefits would be wonderful for all families. Yes I am a feminist and anyone who isn’t ought to be outed for the bigots they are.
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You know, this is the base of the problem. If you arent with us you are against us attitudes just harm any cause. A women should be strong and be able to choose what she wants in life and not be bullied because of that choice. I am a working mum but know many women who choose to be stay at home mums, why do they become less of a women becuase their not standing up for their rights. It is their right to choose to be a stay at home mum. Embrace the differences and stop picking on other women who dont follow the same path. No women wants to be stepped on so dont assume that their choices are any less valid than yours. Women can often be the worst enemies of other women, more judgemental about choices each other make than men. Stand up for choice and freedom not to have your way be the only way.
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While it’s fine to be a modern city dwelling feminist, I notice that there is a remarkable lack of interest in the plight of indigenous women by those who tout their feminist views. The women who complain about being called “luv”, for instance. Is it really that important compared to the lack of education, employment and equality experienced by indigenous women?
I think there is an enormous amount of hypocrisy with a lot of feminists, they may think they are standing up for women’s rights, but there are women in Australia who have truly shit lives that are never mentioned by these “feminists”
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Single Mums spring to mind as well.
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I think that part of the issue is that Indigenous women seem so far away, and so far in the ‘too hard’ basket that people just don’t know what to do. People in the government don’t seem to know what to do, people in the community definitely don’t know what to do. It’s not that people don’t care, I know that I do myself, but I would personally have absolutely no idea where to start, what to do, other than giving money to charities that are earmarked for Indigenous causes, or actually going to live in an Indigenous community and physically trying to change things. Which, if I was an Indigenous person, I’d probably find to be the height of arrogance and condescension from a middle class white woman who knows next to nothing about Aboriginal people other than what I learned in school.
I am aware that Indigenous women have it really, really tough. But I’m f*cked if I know what to do about it. Open to answers.
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I am a city dwelling feminist (Fitzroy, Melb) moved out bush one year ago in central Aust working in women’s health. Trust me there are many amazing women and men (indig and non-indig) fighting the good fight. I think we all pick our own battles (we can’t fight everything that we perceive needs to be changed at once) and while life out here doesn’t make the news as often as it should there are always people trying to close the gap and change things up.
I think getting certain people to realise that it may not be appropriate to call someone ‘luv’ is just another battle like trying to lower the horrifically high domestic violence rates in central Australia. You can’t put these things in a hierarchical order from most important to least. Every bit counts.
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I think the “pick your battles” decision is a good one. While I haven’t moved out bush, I have worked with indigenous women and their children for the last few years and have really enjoyed it. It’s my own small contribution to closing the gap.
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I. Could. Not. Agree. More! I am a 20 year old woman and I could not be prouder to call myself a feminist. To me that word means equality and choice – the ability to be who I am without anyone putting restrictions on me because of my gender. I don’t get how you can be a woman, wanting an okay life, and NOT be a feminist. I think maybe these people don’t understand what it really means?
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I’m with Melissa. I believe that militant feminists do more harm to the feminist cause than anyone or anything. In fact the militant anything does great harm to their cause.
I am a proud equalist. I believe that everyone deserves to be treated equally regardless of gender, race, sexual preference etc etc.
I do not support the gender war. I am more deserving you and you are not more deserving than I. I will show you respect if you show me respect. I will appreciate your opinion and and your right to believe in whatever you believe in. I will not refer to you in any derogatory term because of what you believe in if you show me the same courtesy.
I refuse to play the victim card just because it suits my current argument. It harms feelings and opinions towards genuine victims of wrong doing.
So yes. I am a proud equalist and I will participate in anything that promotes the equality of all people. I will actively speak out on issue that promotes bias whenever I see bias.
Equality for all, forever !
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Third paragraph….line should read ” I am NO more deserving than you and you are no more deserving than I “.
System won’t permit edit.
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I liked it the fist way…
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‘I liked the fist way’!
Oh, the irony!
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Sometimes I really hate typo’s!
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But I guess what the writer is saying that for all our advancements women are still behind me in terms of pay, health, security, etc etc so until that equality is reached we should be fighting or standing up for our rights. Feminism isn’t about being better than men it’s about closing that gap to make us equal with men. We’ve done a great job so far but to say ah well we’re pretty close we don’t want men to think we’re angry and aggressive, things are pretty good will only serve to widen the gap between us. Equality for all is what it’s all about but until I see my daughter getting the same pay as my son for the same job this feminist will keep saying and trying to change things!
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Out of interest, where is the end point for feminism. In Australia there are as many issues on either side of the gender divide these days, yet we still cheer a movement that by its very name can only consider or sympathise with disadvantage as it relates to females.
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Agree 100% Bradley.
I loathe the word feminist…its shoved aound so much that it has lost its meaning.
I much prefer your equality views. And how fitting that it was written by a male.
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