By SHELLEY CLARK
I recently read a piece written for New York Magazine regarding famous women who have not had children and had been quoted as to their thoughts on childlessness. This article was meant to be empowering, especially to the women of the world who have not had children either by choice or by some other unfortunate circumstance.
The article had quotes from 25 amazing, inspiring, independent, strong women who were a combination of actors, politicians, musicians and writers. Women who had found real success in life, and women who I myself, look up to.
Unfortunately, when I was going through reading these quotes, looking for positive reinforcement that I’ll be ok if I don’t have children, all I heard was sadness, yearning and disappointment from the majority of these 25 women. There were very few of these women who sounded confident and satisfied with their maternal journey (or lack thereof).
Quotes like “appreciate the life you have been given” and “it just wasn’t meant for me to have kids” or “it was not my destiny”. Most of them sounded like they were trying to convince themselves that they were OK being child free.
I am 33-years-old, no children and single. Although many people may still consider me young enough to get pregnant, I do have to start looking at the harsh reality of not ever being able to have my own children and maybe look at some other options so that one day I too can be a mother.
Within Australia, international adoption is not a viable option as a single person (the Australian Governments Attorney Generals Department quotes that “many of Australia’s partner countries do not accept adoption applications from single applicants. The countries that may accept applications from single female applicants often have a policy of prioritising couples over single applicants”).
Top Comments
I felt like you are age 29 - I had wanted kids for ten years but also wanted to wait til I was financially stable. I made several major decisions at age 30 to find a husband and have kids, and I did, but I always had a plan B and that was to go for IVF at age 35/36. I know you have friends who have done this. I say to my friends who are thinking this -- it would be hard as a single mum but not impossible. There are playgroups, networks etc - live somewhere there's a community and easy access to support. If motherhood is something you want, do it, you won't regret it.
"Quotes like “appreciate the life you have been given” and “it just wasn’t meant for me to have kids” or “it was not my destiny”. Most of them sounded like they were trying to convince themselves that they were OK being child free."
Or maybe they were simply speaking the truth! Do you really find it that hard to believe that some people don't think having children is a good idea?