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Welcome to the Mamamia Wine Bar. If you haven’t been here before, it’s our new daily post where you can pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, pour yourself a glass of whatever, catch up on a few interesting tidbits and have a chat. With anyone.

1. SKINNY? STRONG? OR SMART?

Our favourite tweet of yesterday came from a humble little cafe in Melbourne. They sent out a tweet last night and, well, we thought it was pretty clever.

strong is the new skinny 2 Wine Bar: 5 things everyones talking about today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. “PORN STAR” TEACHER KEEPS HIS JOB

An English teacher in Geelong (Vic) who allegedly uploaded a video of himself having sex with a former student to an X-rated website could keep his job. When current students found the video – after school hours, we presume – they shared it on social media site, which is how the story came to light. The school says it’s taking the matter “very seriously.” As you’d hope.

But while the Department of Education decide whether the teacher – who is said to be in a committed relationship with student who’s in the video – can come back to school, his current students have rushed to his defence.

“I am a student at the school and believe that no matter what allegation has been made upon this teacher it still stands that he is a fantastic teacher and an important part of our community,” one student said.

Over to you – should he be allowed to teach? Does And would he even want to go back? (Awkward much?)

 

3. NEW TRICKS IN BED MAKE WOMEN SUSS

You wouldn’t normally think a bouquet of flowers or a new piece of jewellery from your significant other would really be a cause for concern. But according to The Daily Mail, a new study has revealed that men who are “too nice” to their other half will spark fears that they are cheating:

RF0017 Wine Bar: 5 things everyones talking about today.

Flowers, honey?

 

Researchers found that two thirds of women become suspicious if their partner suddenly has ‘new tricks’ in the bedroom, makes grand romantic gestures or even if he makes them breakfast in bed.

Other triggers for suspicion amongst mistrusting wives and girlfriends are if their man treats them to jewellery or sexy underwear.

Even helping out with housework leads to millions of females to believe her chap is ‘playing away’ according to the poll of 2000 adults.

Not that we would complain about the help. A third of women said they would be happy to turn a blind eye to a minor indiscretion if it meant that their partner was nicer to live with.

Would this kind of change in your partner put you into panic mode? And – more interestingly – would you forgive the odd stray kiss or grope if it meant they would make you a cup of tea more often?

 

3. WILL YOU BE TRYING THIS NEW FASHION TREND?

Not since the mullet dress has there been a trend as cringe-worthy as the sqoob. And what is a Sqoob? So glad you asked. Basically it’s a squashed boob. The squoob dominated at the Golden Globes and SAG award ceremonies this year. Christina Hendricks and Sofia Vergara are both repeat offenders and Mamamia’s staff writer Nicky even trialled the trend on her wedding day. For a full run down of the trend, click here.

Madonna

And do we all remember the mullet?

Emma Stone

So which is better, the sqoob or the mullet? And also: WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS TO THEIR BOOBS?

 

4. POLITICS IN THE KITCHEN-  WE’LL BE WATCHING

This might just be the first time knives in politics have been used to prepare a kitchen feast instead of a backroom spill. And to the nerds among us, it seems pretty delightful. The ABC’s premier politics with Annabel Crabb – who knows more about the Federal pollies than most – takes to screens on ABC this year to host Kitchen Cabinet. It is exactly as it sounds.

A cooking chat show where Crabb gets to catch the politicians in more human, unguarded moments while serving up a side of home style cooking. It’s the most bizarre mix since yoghurt on pizza. And for anyone who ever had an odd hankering for watching Christopher Pyne and Amanda Vanstone slave over a smokey barbecue, this preview should whet your appetite. Mark it in your diaries: 9.30pm, Wednesday, February 22 on ABC2. Oh, and would you watch it?

 

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE…!!!!

If you missed any of our other posts on Mamamia today, don’t stress. Grab another cocktail (or mocktail) and get comfy because there’s plenty more to talk about. Are you ready?

We started the day by talking about break ups and why they suck. WHO magazine features editor Sarah Grant wrote us this heartbreakingly honest post about her break up from the man she “thought she was going to marry” and how she found herself clutching a container of organic yoghurt and crying in her local Coles Supermarket. Price check, aisle 5 – and some tissues, please. WE HAVE BEEN THERE SARAH, YES WE HAVE.

Dress code at the Wine Bar today? Sqoobs. We loved that post so much we squished (sorry, pun intended) it into The Wine Bar to keep the conversation flowing.

Changing pace, we asked the question of whether women can have it all? It’s a phrase that’s easy to say, but hard to apply. In this post some prominent female leaders – with children – suggest that perhaps, it’s not possible after all. Comments were divided on this topic. What’s your view? Can you have it all?

In this post called “I’m fat today, how are you?” we talked about the word fat. In some cultures the word is used for describing people like tall or short. But here, it’s loaded with negative connotations. If you take away the power, it’s just a word, right?

Finally a book post. We love a book post at Mamamia. Have you noticed? This post about what you read over the summer turned into a virtual book club – the only thing missing was cake. (If you need book inspiration, you’ll be skipping after you read this post.)

Now over to you. Any of the stories above got you talking? Anything else on your mind today?

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Comments

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58 Comments so far

  1. GD Star Rating
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    He said

    Let it be known that the female in that pic uses steroids. Madonna also uses performance enhancing drugs like HGH. Someone here mentioned Erin Stern.. well guess what? She abuses steroids too.
    It’s not natural for a female to be strong. Accept it feminists. This whole “strong is the new skinny” thing and females abusing steroids/hgh to “show the men” is just wrong and has to stop. You wouldn’t like it if millions of men took estrogen and got boob jobs now would you? Maybe you power-hungry females would..

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    Chrystal

    Can someone please give me one reason why anyone, least of all a teacher, would want to number 1 film themselves having sex and number 2 upload it??!! Why?? Anyone?

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    Anonymous

    Are you seriously suggesting that Ariel Winter (who has just turned 14) has a bad case of Sqoob?!

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    sjb1273

    A. Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman will be mandatory reading for my daughter once a yer, every year as soon as she turns 13.

    B. Gwyneth Paltrow: “stay at home if you have children… Women ‘must be a wife’ if they want a family”.
    Words fail me… I’m torn between ‘get stuffed’ and a huge long rambling weepy thing about needs and single mothers and work being good for mental health and not everyone having the luxury of NOT being able to work if they choose and….

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    Anonymous

    I went to Oberon High Schhool., Sucks when they get in the media for all the wrong reasons!

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    Anonymous

    Just wondering if the teacher did anything wrong? If the student is an ex student and it it consenting is that illegal? Asusming it happened after she left school then I would say it is ok. Pretty silly to make a video and put it on the web but surely they are not the only ones to do that!

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      CC

      It’s not really about whether it’s illegal or not. If it was illegal, it would be a police matter. The question is whether or not the teacher will get to keep his job.

      I do not believe that a teacher making and uploading a video like that should be allowed to keep his job. It shows a disturbing lack of judgment and foresight. Like it or not, teachers are held to a higher standard of behaviour than many others in the community, due to their position of authority over young people. Anyone who doesn’t know that going into the profession and who doesn’t keep that in the forefront of their mind when they make such public decisions is not someone I’d want teaching my child.

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        Happyface

        Teachers are humans like everyone else, yes they have sex and low and behold they might video it!!! OMG do people really expect them to be saints after hours!
        Yes if it was with a student or under age child I would definitely have an issue with it. But as I understand it wasn’t. Just because you are a teacher does not mean you cannot have a social life, it is for this reason that people leave the profession in droves, over accountability makes it difficult to live your life.

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          CC

          No, being a teacher certainly does not mean you can’t have a social life. I don’t know what part of my post you managed to interpret as “teachers can’t have a social life”.

          We (I am a teacher myself) have to be a little bit more careful about the image we project in public. He can make all the videos he likes for his own private use and that of his partner but it was a seriously dumb move to upload it onto the internet. It’s when a teacher’s “private” behaviour enters the public arena, where students could be exposed and influenced by it, that we have a problem.

          Would NOT uploading a video of himself having sex really have been such a hardship? Especially if it was a choice between getting his kicks (or whatever reason he uploaded it) and keeping his job? It’s like I said – it shows really poor judgment. He either did this and didn’t foresee it ever causing a problem (which is naive at best) or he didn’t care (which is reckless).

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      Sarah

      yep was wondering the same thing. I guess the real issue lies in how the students feel. The ex-student might be like 25/26?? but if i were 16 and being taught by that teacher, I’m sure there’d be a feeling of vulnerability.

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        Anonymous

        The girl graduated in 2008 I read

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          Anonymous

          I went to this school, graduated the same year as the student and was taught by the teacher. The teacher is an amazing man very intelligent and someone I feel I was lucky to learn under and I know several students who feel te same way. He is in a commited long term relationship who made a poor judgment on ‘expressing himself’ publicly.
          He losing his credentials would be an absolute disappointment not just to me and his students but to the future students who will miss out on the blessing that is his teaching.
          It would be an almighty shame to lose this teacher for making a poor decision. We all make mistakes.

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    missmelbourne

    It’s a breach of the teachers code of conduct to behave that way, he would have been well aware of that so unfortunately for him he shouldn’t keep his job!

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      erinjane

      What teachers code is he breaching by making a video with his consenting 20 year old girlfriend?

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        Alison

        There is a part of the contract when you’re a teacher that says something along the lines of ‘you must conduct yourself in a manner which upholds your position in the wider society’ or something like that. I remember reading this when I first started teaching at age 22 and wondering whether this was going to restrict my Saturday nights out in a small town …

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      Anonymous

      Exactly. But he’ll keep his job. You have to do even worse than that to lose it. If only they enforced the code of conduct on everyone equally…But yes, he’d have known that. Question is also, can he do his job to the same capacity after this? I don’t see how you could. She did only graduate a couple of yrs ago…dude needs to cast his net a bit wider

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    petunia

    I would love to watch Cabinet Kitchen!

    What is it with Lea Michelle’s poses? It just looks kind of odd. And when I saw her licking her lips at a recent awards red carpet, it just looked bad! I like her, but the red carpet poses have been strange.

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    Anonymous

    I have no problem with the teacher. There is no mention of him seeing the girl while she was still at school so no problems there. It is a bit silly to make a video that others can get their hands on, but that is the only issue. I can imagine plenty of parents getting all up in arms over this but people always seem to have such hang ups about normal sexual issues.

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    Nicole

    My hubby knows better than to ever buy me flowers. As a kid, flowers meant Dad had done something worth apologizing for……so he basically ruined the beauty of them for me. On a rare occasion I’ll buy them for myself but generally they just mean hurt feelings. She divorced him after the third time she caught him cheating (after 35 years of marriage and MANY bunches of flowers!!)

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      Harsh

      I’m a faithful husband and every once in a while I just buy my wife flowers because they are beautiful and she is too. Does that make me a cheater? A hopeless romantic? Or just a rarity?

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        Nicole

        Oh Harsh – of course it makes you a gorgeous, hopeless romantic……because your wife loves it when you do it! She’s a lucky girl. Hubby is romantic in ways that I appreciate, just not flowers because after being together for 17 years he knows they really make me uncomfortable. He buys me books or calls me during the day just to tell me he misses me. And those things have positive meaning to me whereas flowers obviously don’t!
        I’m certainly not saying that all men who buy flowers are cheaters, just that my dad did and my dad was – hence my aversion!! No intention to cast aspersions on wonderful hubbies like your wife and I have!! :-)

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    Jayne

    That first tweet annoys me. Yes smart is extremely important in a woman, but totally unrelated to bodies (except maybe that good nutrition makes your brain more efficient, or something)
    Strong is the new skinny is about promoting health, and about women embracing the idea of being physically and mentally strong and healthy over being emaciated.
    There was no need to degrade that message IMO.

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      Anonymous

      I hate that tweet too.

      Smart and strong (in body) have got nothing to do with each other.
      Why can people be strong and smart for crying out loud?
      I think Strong is the new Skinny is a fantastic message about body image. People can be strong when they are all different shapes and sizes.

      I’m really at a loss as to why the MM team that tweet was clever…

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        Tradge-ic

        I agree, Jayne. Strong in mind and body.

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        Anonymous

        I think what the tweet is doing is using the term ” the new skinny” as a proxy for what is cool and groovy and desirable, such as skinny has been portrayed as being for such a long time. I agree with the notion that strong and smart have no bearing with body shape, but I think it is saying get away from making skinny the desirable state of being and move to smart instead. And I think that is a pretty good message actually…

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      Anonymous

      I love that tweet. Firstly, because I find “strong’s the new skinny” just as offensive as “curvy’s the new skinny”. What’s wrong with skinny? You can be strong and skinny. My best friend can lift more than most guys, and she’s a very lean size 6. Not everyone can look like Erin Stern, just like not everyone can look like Kate Moss. This just creates a new ideal that’s unattainable for most women. You’ll notice these “strong is the new skinny” meme’s always feature very well-proportioned, beautiful women. Not the female athlete with the extremely broad back or massive quads. Not the rather chunky looking Olympic weightlifter.

      Secondly because I’m so sick of this obsessions with bodies. I don’t care whether you’re ripped, skinny, fat, tall, short etc. Maybe if we just start talking about something else, anything else, it on’t be such an issue.

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        freetoclaire

        I may have taken it the wrong way, but I think your statement that “you can be strong and skinny” is exactly the point of “strong is the new skinny”. You can be strong no matter what size you are – be it curvy or skinny or in between.
        I think its a message about focussing on strength and fitness than a particular body shape.
        While the picture depicts a very well proportioned woman as you point out, I think the point of the message is that she is strong and fit rather than “oh my gosh look how beautiful and skinny she is” (please note that the words curvy and skinny are interchangable in that sentence).
        Sure, not everyone can be Erin Stern, the same as not everyone can be a size 6, but everyone can be fit and strong.

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          Anonymous

          I’ve seen lot’s of tumblr posts that put an image of a ‘skinny’ woman next to an image of a ‘strong’ woman, with that message. So I think a lot of the people spreading these things do think that there’s something wrong with skinny.

          These pictures remind me of thinspiration pics. I’ve seen lot’s of them posted on tumblr with comments like “that’s it, I’m giving up carbs”, “gonna do a 4hr sesh today-wanna look like that” etc.

          If they included more diversity I might be able to get on board, but every single one of these I’ve seen (and I’ve seen hundreds over the past few months) has featured women who could be each other’s doubles. Throw in a Serena Williams or a Libby Trickett once in a while.

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        Den

        Agreed. Why is it always something is better than something. I like the tweet. So sick of women being looked at for their body types. At the moment we have the ideal as looking like a man. It’s that pic that annoys me most- fake boobs gym junkie vain obsessive women seem to be the new skinny.

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      Joey

      I like the tweet. To me it suggests that smart is sexy and that being sexy doesn’t have to be focused on the body.

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    Haven Maven

    I’d rather eat my own shit than watch more politicians do anything on tv…

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      Megan

      Dont sugar coat it, tell us what you really think!

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    Anonymous

    Does anyone in Sydney (blue mountains) remember it raining this incessantly? Sorry to be a weather bore but this is soul destroying. I don’t have a car and I’m feeling so trapped.

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      Essen

      I know, this rain is relentless. Ugh.

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      picardie.girl

      I have lived in Sydney my whole life and cannot remember it ever raining like this. Relentless is right. *sigh*

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    melissasavage

    Oh for goodness sake, sometimes people wear dresses that are a bit tight and their boobs get squished. It’s not as though they are wearing harem pants.

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      Kristy

      Harem pants are awesome. Mainly for comfort. Still awesome.

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    Dulcie

    I heart Annabel Crabb. So, yeah, I’ll be watching!

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    Katyberry

    I love looking at fitness models and the whole strong is sexy ethos, so I think that the poster is cool, and really inspiring.

    I get that “smart is the new skinny” is also cool, so long as it isn’t at the expense of the strong version!!

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    Jenna

    Love it! Smart is the new skinny.

    Squashed boobs have to be one of the worst looks a woman can wear- so uncomfortable and not at all sensual looking! F.O.U.L. It reminds me so much of when the Spice Girls were around and Ginger was pushing them up as high as possible by squashing. Or when Victoria Beckham first got her implants.
    And… as teacher leaving the profession (yes, I am a statistic, five years in and I cannot bear another day!) I am both shocked and not surprised that he gets to keep his job. I work with two male teachers who are married to girls they taught in their first year out. I personally could never get beyond the authority/power issue, and duty of care. But I suppose if students are coming forward to defend him, there must be cause for him to retain his position.

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    Nicoletta

    Well, according to the checklist- flowers, fancy undies, helping with housework…hmmm, I can safely say my husband is not cheating on me….

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      Denise

      Haha! Guess I’m safe too!

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    Georgie

    That’s so weird, I spent most of my Friday last week crying in the supermarket (not coles though, in Canberra they have supabarn who knew)! I’ve just moved to Canberra and was completely freaked out, I don’t know a soul, I’m about to start another degree, I’m homesick etc. Anyway, it was so embarrassing! Luckily people left me alone to cry and feel sorry for myself..

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      elle

      hope you’re feeling better now Georgie! its so hard moving somewhere new! i am a canberra local so let me know if i can help you with anything !

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        Georgie

        Thanks Elle, I think I’m starting to find my feet and have started uni so it’s a bit better!

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      CBR

      That’ll be me at the end of the month – new degree, new job, new city! Drop by the Kingston hotel sometime!

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      melissasavage

      I’ve lived in Canberra for ages, message me here or on twitter if you like, I’d be happy to set up drinks or coffee so you can meet some people. It’s a good time of year to move here though; lots of grads starting public service jobs and new uni students, so lots of social activities.

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        Anonymous

        I am not in canberra but a move to a new city can be hard. How lovely that all those canberra mamamia readers have sent those lovely messages. Its good to see there are welcoming peopleout there!

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    Anonymous

    I don’t have a problem with the teacher. As far as I’ve seen, there’s no allegation that the relationship began whilst she was a student, so I see nothing wrong with that aspect of it and I think everyone’s perfectly entitled to do whatever they please in the bedroom, whatever their job.

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    Loulee

    Even on a red carpet celebrity the mullet dress still looks a bit… naff. And here in regional NSW at the local shopping centre the girls have embraced the casual mullet dress with a passion. Oh. Dear.

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    Anonymous

    Where is Zoe today?

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    Nora

    Did anyone else watch the Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead documentary on Gem last night? It was so inspirational!

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      becsparrow

      No! What was it like? What was it about? Is it some weird dieting thing that a guy did?

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        Nora

        Kinda! It was about this guy from Sydney, who was overweight and had some sort of auto immune disease. He decided to take his health into his own hands and went on a sixty day fast consuming only fresh fruit and vegie juices.
        He went to the USA to complete his challenge and even managed to inspire a severly overweight American to take it up too.
        He now no longer requires medication, is symptom free and is fit and healthy! Here’s the trailer…

        http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

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      Sam

      Darn it! I wanted to watch it but forgot it was on and went to bed!

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    Wine-o

    Loving that the wine bar opens at 4pm, at home I try to hold out till 5!!!!