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Bec26 380x570 Why I wont read mummy blogs.

 

 

 

By REBECCA SPARROW

In April 2003 I was a little bit smug.

My first novel had been published to universally glowing reviews and I took great delight in telling anyone who would listen that I was an author. (A fact that my chemist seemed somewhat non-plussed about frankly…)

My days were spent loitering around bookstores trying desperately hard to look like my author photo and indulging in brief stints of author espionage (read:  putting copies of my book in front of The Da Vinci Code. And in a sheer moment of desperation The South Beach Diet).

It was an incredibly thrilling time in my life and I didn’t think anything could possibly burst my author bubble of happiness.

Until something did.

You see, I thought, when I wrote The Girl Most Likely that I’d written a comedy.  A comedy about a twenty-seven year old woman trying to find her place in the world.  A story inspired by my very own quarter-life crisis that involved plenty of humour but also (I hoped) plenty of heart. A story about career expectations. Self-identity. Friendships. Loss. And yes, love.

But that’s not what I wrote, apparently.

Nope. What I actually wrote was ‘chick-lit’. The cutesy name of a new genre encompassing any work of fiction written by women about the contemporary lives of young women.  A genre, which quickly became a derisive slur.

What became crystal clear to me that month and in the 10 years since, is that actually ANY stories written by women that explore the hopes, desires, fears and challenges of women are frequently dismissed off-hand. No matter the quality of the writing. No matter that in years to come these stories will provide a window into the feminist leanings, sexuality and self-identity of women of that time.  Just ask Jane Austen.

Nope. Terms like ‘Chick-lit‘ and ‘Women’s Fiction’ (remind me again how women’s fiction is different to, you know, FICTION?)  infer that narratives centred around the lives of  women lack value and intelligence  and they exist as yet another way in which women’s lives are trivialised.

And now I’m watching the same level of disdain being dished out to women who blog. Specifically mothers.

To me, ‘Mummy Blogger’  is a patronising term slapped on any woman who regularly or even occasionally dares to write online about motherhood. It’s a term that academic and author Dr Karen Brooks says simultaneously diminishes and positions a woman in a reductive way.

“The term ‘mummy blogger’ manages to keep these women on the margins of culture and forces them to be viewed as non-threatening to mainstream opinion makers. It erects boundaries and keeps them on the outside, as ‘mummies’ who gossip and play where the big boys and girls dare to tread.”

Kate Eltham, CEO of the Queensland Writers Centre agrees.

“If you’re a male writer who blogs, then you’re a social commentator. If you’re a woman writer who blogs, you’re a “mummy blogger” (whether mother or not). And if you are a woman who writes about motherhood (whether in a blog or anywhere else), applying the term “mummy blogger” to what you do undermines all the significance of your artistic and intellectual contribution.

‘Nobody who reads Eglantine’s Cake (the blog of Australian writer Penni Russon), for example could perceive Penni’s writing to be anything other than a serious contribution to the Australian canon of creative non-fiction literature. It’s nuanced and perceptive, not to mention fucking brilliant writing. But because her subject matter is often motherhood, Penni is a “mummy blogger” and the writing on her blog does not receive any serious regard.”

Whether a woman chooses to write about contemporary domestic life and all it encompasses or broader issues outside the home – what does it matter?  Why is the former unworthy? And why hasn’t the term ‘Daddy Blogger’ entered the lexicon?  Sam de Brito, you know I’m looking at you.

Last week when it was revealed Fairfax was being wheeled into ICU, one TV journo smugly warned viewers that – if we weren’t careful – good journalism would be gone and we’d be left with Mummy Blogs.  That’s right, buddy.  Give those ‘Mummy Bloggers’ half a chance and they’ll have your front pages filled with inane stories about washing the dishes and getting rid of Timmy’s nits.

Please.

A few months after The Girl Most Likely came out, I went to my publisher and asked her how she felt about the term ‘chick lit’.

“Labels, genres don’t matter,’ she said. “There’s just good writing. It’s as simple as that.”

Good writing. Not chick-lit. Not women’s fiction.  Not ‘mummy blogs’ or even ‘mummy porn’.

Just good writing.

So when you ask me if I follow any Mummy Bloggers my answer will always be ‘no’. But do I eat up the works of a series of incredibly talented bloggers who just happen to be female and have kids? You bloody betcha.

Have you ever been made to feel ashamed because of the genre of book or websites you read? Who are your favourite female writers? How many of these books have you read?

The Girl Most Likely by Rebecca Sparrow

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230 Comments so far

  1. Carolyn

    Slightly late to the party, but great article. It got me blogging anyway…
    http://carolynjdonovan.blogspot.com.au/

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  2. gennick
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  3. The Tip Master

    current fave blog is http://www.transformmagazine.com.au all about events! god I love cupcakes.

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  4. Anon

    I disagree. Chick lit is an easily recognisable genre of writing, which usually involves a young woman’s emotional navigation around some modern dilemma. There is also ‘lad lit’, a similar genre written by men. So the label itself isn’t a sexist slur.

    Female authors are not all lumped in this basket either. Sue Townsend (comic social commentary), Colleen Mccullough (historical fiction), Anne Tyler (many genres), JK Rowling (fantasy) – for example, are very famous authors of different genres. And there are many more.

    Mummy blogging is also a genre which many people just aren’t interested in the content of, regardless of the author’s talent.

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  5. Pingback: Has it really come to this? | Emily's Tea Leaves

  6. Polly

    Hi Bec! Loved your post :)

    Telling someone you’re a romance writer and not have them automatically say, “oh, not Mills & Boon” with a derogatory look is a rare thing. Yes, I *am* published with M&B but that labels me as a certain type of writer, not all of it good. Because I don’t write ‘serious’ stuff, I obviously know nothing about plot or characterization, or structure, let alone write a good story. And the scorn and ridicule my fellow writers cop from many, many reporters always astounds and saddens me. I used to get a lot of flack from friends and colleagues about my reading choices and frankly, I’ve been over that for quite some years :-)

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  7. thatgirlfiona

    Great article! Love your stuff, Bec.
    BUT!! I would love to read The Girl Most Likely but I can’t find it on the Kindle! Am I going crazy? Please get it in Kindle :) :)

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    • becsparrow

      Hey TGF!
      We’re hoping to bring it out as an ebook next year for it’s 10th anniversary!!

      So when it comes out I’ll ask Jam and Mia if we can put a little mention in Open Post so you guys know about it!
      xxxxx

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  8. Mg

    Mummy bloggers are an easy target for manipulation, according to Ms Gillard and the ALP. Insulting.

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  9. sharoncello

    This article and the comments have given me much food for thought.

    I did not realise that ‘mummy blog’ was being used as an umbrella term for all blogs written by women until I read this – I thought that it meant a blog about motherhood – silly me ;)

    My husband and I had a discussion a few weeks ago about our book choices and the gender of the authors. He usually reads books written by men and I usually read books written by women – when we cross over it is usually when a book with a male protagonist has been written by a female author or vice versa. We came to the (very generalised) conclusion that male authors innately understand how men think and female authors innately understand how women think. I think that most people like to read books which they can imagine themselves being a character in.

    About labels, I’m not a labeller by nature and try to not take offence at labels – I try to live my life under the assumption that no nastiness was intended (unless bleedingly obvious). The intention behind the label is important. If someone labels my *choice* and I perceive that as an attempt at belittling my *choice*; I try to turn it back on them and ask them why my *choice* causes them a problem – make them jusify their comment.

    I like to read historical fiction (eg Philippa Gregory), JK Rowling, Joanne Harris and humorous fiction (eg Helen Fielding). I’ll have to track down your book Bec – it sounds like a hoot :)

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  10. Anonymous

    Ouch… those covers are really not helping this situation…

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  11. Jruth

    I dont think we should get so hung up on labels. Whilst some might find the term “mummy blogger” to be derogatory, I think women who blog and also happen to be mothers should consider ‘owning’ the term. Words loose their power if we embrace them. After all, the term “suffragette” was originally used to try to diminish the hard work of women seeking the right to vote, but hardly anyone remembers that now, because the women’s movement took on the word and used it themselves!

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  12. Chris

    Those who believe that Mummy Blogger is a derogatory term are showing how little respect they have for the work that mothers do. It’s just a topic categorization used to give people an idea of the sorts of things they write about and the point of view they come from.

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  13. Guest

    Books about shopping and celebrities and getting marrying a rich man deserve to be derided. Chick lit is derided because 95% of it is brain rotting crap. Knowing Bec’s writing I’m sure hers is in the 5% that is unfortunately labelled with a cutsey cover and as ‘chick lit’ instead of general fiction.

    No one derides decent female authors. A woman won this years Miles Franklin. Not all books are equal, and just because it is written by a woman doesn’t mean it should be respected. Books about shopping and becoming a pop star are trash. Read them for fun if you want, or on the beach, but don’t ask them to be respected just because they are women’s feelings.

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  14. Rach L

    Was a bit put off by the title of this article – and then was pleasantly surprised by its contents. Spot on Rebecca! I feel similar about “chick-flicks” – why should films that often touch on the depths of emotions and relationships be relegated to an inferior level to big blockbusters full of violence? Pah!

    PS Read both “The Girl Most Likely” and “The Year Nick McGowan Came to Stay” while living in Brisbane. – travelling to and from work on the bus, laughing out loud and loving the local references. Never once thought “great chick-lit”, only ever “oh, this is FUNNY”.

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    • becsparrow

      Thanks Rachel L!

      I do love those characters of Rachel and Zoe … I’m still thinking about writing the third part of the series when they’re both in their late 30s ….

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  15. leaf

    hmmm I haven’t read a single one of those books nor have I even heard of any of the titles. A couple of the authors are familiar but I haven’t read anything by them. I don’t know what this means. Perhaps I am subconciously put off by those silly kiddy covers?

    I do like blogs written by women who are also mothers though.

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  16. Al

    Interesting article.

    Bec, just wondering why you’ve got 2 photos of you with am empty cup?

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  17. Nerida Newton

    The term ‘Mummy Blogger’ should NEVER be derisive. Neither should ‘chick lit’. And here’s why: women, at home, at work, dropping kids off to school and racing to an office, or to serve you at the checkout – we are on the frontline – we are on the frontline of raising the next generation of doctors, and politicians, of board members and astronauts and writers and artists. We willl shape the world to come, because we shape our children’s attitudes and values. And if we write about that in a way that makes us laugh, that releases the pressure valve just a bit, so that we don’t explode under this mammoth responsibility – then good for us. Bec, I love your work. Screw those who don’t understand – these things that we write, in whatever form, or shape, or genre – these are our war stories, this is how we make sense of the world, and no way is more valuable than any other. Boys, take heed. xx

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    • Diana The Huntress

      Front line? War stories? Really?

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      • Gail the Gatherer

        That’s a bit rich coming from Diana ‘the Huntress’!

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    • becsparrow

      Hi N

      I TOTALLY agree. Cannot wait to get my hands on your next novel. No pressure. Okay, a bit of pressure. :)

      xxxxx

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  18. Mid 30s Life

    Ooh I loved reading this! I am so over the term “mummy” being shoved in front of everything. Yes I’m a mother, yes I have a blog, can’t I just be called a “blogger?” I’m never called a “mummy blogger” in a nasty way, it’s fine really, but it’s not like my blog is entirely about family life. it’s just that mothers who blog HAVE to be called “mummy bloggers”… it’s some kind of rule! :-)

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  19. Vikki@shehascuteshoes

    Bec – I bought your book when it first came out. Loved it. Kept it. Read it for the “who knows how many times” again the other week. In fact it’s still sitting on my dining room table directly to my left. Photo evidence on request :P

    As far as the term ‘Mummy bloggers’ it’s just another box to try and contain voices that have influence. Being single and childless – and not always pleased with that situation – I don’t go out of my way to read blogs that are about family, children and the life of a mother – but I also don’t go out of my way to read blogs about cricket, betting or politics either.

    Labels always get stuck on those that the insecure are worried about. :)

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  20. Tania

    I do literally often judge a book by its cover. And what I notice when I look through the book covers above, is that a lot of the covers seem designed to be… not taken seriously, for lack of a better phrase? They are eyecatching, but I myself tend to feel if the cover shows a lot of pink and purple, sparkly tones, balloons, women skipping in high heels, cartoon style sketching, the the contents are more fun and fluff, rather than heading towards more challenging literature. The ones that I would pick up if I wanted something more literary on that basis would be the books by Judy Nunn, Lesley Pearse, Jane Green and Di Morissey.

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  21. The Tip Master

    And the phrase “Mumpretreneur” drives me batty…

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    • mid 30s life

      I’m with you!! It’s a dreadful term. Let’s just delete it. And while we’re at it can we delete the phrase “yummy mummy.” Please!

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  22. mumof4

    I can’t stand the word “mummy” . When people call themselves a ‘mummy blogger’ , I lose interest straight away.

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    • Diana The Huntress

      Agreed. Women who refer to themselves as “mummies” are vomitrocious. There is a particular type of woman who seems to take motherhood as a reason to infantilise herself. I have never understood this.

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  23. bakingmyselfhappy

    Hi Bec,

    Is Girl Most Likely available in e-book format?

    I read some fabulous bloggers, who fit into a whole range of categories – parenting, food, beauty, fashion, lifestyle – my favourite bloggers write on a whole range of topics, I don’t stick to any one genre. I have heard ‘mummy blogger’ used as a derogatory term previously, it is a little bit nasty but I think some mummy bloggers are having the last laugh, because there are quite a few doing quite well from their blogs…

    http://bakingmyselfhappy.blogspot.com.au/

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    • becsparrow

      Hello BMH

      It’s coming out as an ebook next year and I think the publisher (UQP) are also bringing out a 10th anniversary edition! Woo!

      And I have to say the movie version of the book is progressing well .. can’t say much more but it’s all happening!

      Thanks for your lovely message!

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  24. Kitty

    Bec, you know The Girl Most Likely is one of my favourite books…because it is freaking funny, touching, clever…and because it spoke to me. I remember one of the first conversations I had with you via email (before we met), regarding me being worried about my writing and being categorised as Chick-Lit. And you said to me that you use the term ‘Romantic Comedy’. I have held on to this and been determined not to feel like I need to apologise for the fact my writing is accessible, easily digestible, funny and shock horror, commercial. I feel these phrases get bandied about as if they are insults by people (writers etc) who think they are intellectually superior because they are ‘literary’… when in fact they are probably just jealous that their books sold 200 copies and other ‘chick-lit’ books have sold many more. Just because something is accessible and commercial and appeeals to women does not mean it is less ‘smart’ … and I think this applies to female blogs/bloggers as much as it does novels/authors. It is atrocious to me that smart women and their opinions get dismissed the way they do simply because they have produced children…what, we made them on our own?????? Anyway… I am starting to feel the need to rant and go off on a tangent so i’ll wind it up.

    Thanks to you Bec, when someone asks me what type of book I am writing, I say “It is a Comedic Mystery with a Supernatural Twist.”…. I also say… “A bloody good one.”

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    • becsparrow

      Hey You!

      Cannot wait to read your novel! And better yet, attend your first book launch!

      xxxx

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  25. Simone

    I’m a mum, and I blog. I don’t just write about my children. I write mainly about trying to get my novels sold, or if there’s anything in the news getting on my nerves. Or I write about really bad songs (‘Mull of Kintyre’ anyone?).

    http://bingellsblog.bigblog.com.au

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    • Amandarose

      iAmandaroseI love Mull of Kintyre- A favourite since childhood and the song at my mum’s funeral. Love Love Love that song

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  26. Cordeline

    Bec, my favourite kid of books to read fall under the chick-lit category. And I’m not ashamed to admit it! I can usually related to the stories (or part of them) in one way or another. I can imagine being one of the characters, living part of their life. They usually make me laugh and feel, just, well happy! And I love feeling happy.

    Having said all that though, I have just this week become addicted to The Hunger Games books. Phwoar, on the edge of my couch! And I NEVER thought I would read these books.

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  27. chubba

    Not sure where our dad’s blogs fit in. I am proudly a daddy blog. Either way anything that gets more people writing and reading is great for everyone.

    Chubba @ http://www.tacklenappy.com

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  28. Naomi

    It is my pet peeve when people refer to Jane Austen’s work as “romance” or “chick lit”. It is friggin social satire. Just because it deals with women and concerns marriage doesn’t mean it is “romance”. It irks me. People are so ignorant.

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  29. MrsMIM

    For the record, Girl Most Likely is one of my all-time faves, no matter what label you put on it! I am devastated that I lost my signed copy somewhere in the process of making everyone I know read it… As they say, no good deed goes unpunished!

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  30. JosieY

    Good one Bec. Damn right! Ona slightly related note, Joss Whedon (of Buffy fams) said, in answer to why he keeps writing strong female characters, ‘because people keep asking me that question’. Yep.

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    • Nerrida

      My favourite part of that particular interview is when, to the same question, he replies: Why do you even ask me that? Why aren’t you asking the other fifty guys in the room why they DON’T? He’s kind of awesome.

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  31. Some random

    Hoooold up, we are not comparing Jane Austen to mummy bloggers or 20th century chick lit.

    Do you know what Jane Austen was? A very, very brutal satirist and was acknowledged as such by her contemporaries. Seriously, Henry James compared her to Shakespeare and considered her grasp of human nature as good as, or superior to the bard’s. Sure, she wrote about love and relationships, but she also spent considerable time taking apart the dominant economic paradigms of the day and she knew how to very artfully stick the knife in.

    And seriously, Sam de Brito might get more praise as a writer than he deserves, but he only on occasion writes about his kid. That is why he’s not a daddy blogger.

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    • JosieY

      I think you missed the point a bit here.

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  32. kate @ livinglovinglaughing

    Good food for thought, I kinda always felt like Mummy Blogger was a tad patronising and yet I guess kinda sums up what I do… blog about parenting, life and finding delight in each day. But when someone referred to my bloas that, I wasn’t sure what to think about it!!

    But I think chick-lit is a far more dismissive term and a shame so many quality novels get filed under this category! (including yours!)

    http://livinglovinglaughingtogether.blogspot.com.au/

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  33. Anon

    Years ago when I became a mum and my friend was a “high powered executive” (ie. she worked in an office but believed she ran the company) she would refer to me as a ‘mum’ as in “you’re such a mum” if I made any sort of comment on what I had been doing or expressing an opinion.

    It was definitely a put down and I wanted to punch her in the face. Being a mum is being a mum, I didn’t want a title!!

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    • Polly

      Isn’t it odd how we each take comments differently.

      When someone says to me that I am being such a Mum, I assume that they mean that I am being a caring, compassionate person. And I take it as a compliment.

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      • Anon

        Yeh, I probably would have taken it like that from anyone else but this woman used it as a put down.

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  34. Guest

    I don’t think “Chick lit” is intended to be derogatory and if you think it’s part of a vast male conspiracy to trivialise women’s writing you should have a look at how Tom Clancy etc are described – fun reads but like most Chick Lit not exactly Tolstoy. It’s a fact of publishing life that to sell books you need to be able to categorise them so that book buyers can find them. Unless and until an author is very well established you can’t say this is the latest Sparrow, instread you need to be able to group them so that people going out to buy no particular author can find a section that relates to them. This may change with ebooks which don’t need physical shelf space and thus can be categorised in many different ways but we still don’t really know as it’s an emerging market.

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  35. Polly

    I think that everyone is being too sensitive.

    I think that the term Chick-lit is probably more of a marketing exercise designed to be descriptive rather than offensive. After all, and in the end, publishers (and authors) want to make money.

    There is a reason why romance novels are one of the biggest selling genres out.

    I wouldn’t be embarassed if I was considered a “Chick-Lit” author. But then nor would I kid myself that I had written the Great Australian Novel. I know my place in life. I like to write light (or should that be lite) and if the best that I can hope for is that someone is entertained, then I am happy.

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  36. Anonymous

    This smacks of what Helen Razer wrote in an article on July 3rd. http://justbaustralia.com.au/news/blogging-helen-and-sharons-excellent-adventure-15496/

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  37. Swany

    Oh Bec I hate that labels for everything now! I just see things as I like it or I don’t. I can’t tell you how much I love the girl most likely. Even now all these years later I still get a laugh out of your book!! Love love love it!!!
    Just love everything you do.

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    • Eddie

      Labels are simply short hand and life would be much too complicated without them. I think that not using a cliche when the opportunity presents is a little “short sighted” (cliche intended).

      I love a label as much as I love a cliche. It makes communicating so much easier and clearer. And lessens the chance of a misunderstanding.

      Things only go wrong when the words have “bad” and “good” assigned to them. I love a “Chick Flick” and I know exactly what I am going to get when I take my seat. But my partner uses the term disparagingly because he would much prefer to see a “road movie”. You know: one of those movies that just goes on and on…. and on.

      On the other hand I love the fact that my partner has a “Bromance”. He is much less embarassed being with his “bro” than he would be if he went out with his “best friend” (isn’t that supposed to be me?).

      I defy you to go one day without using a label or a cliche.

      And don’t get me started on movie cliches. I love them.

      http://www.moviecliches.com/cliche3.html#women

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    • becsparrow

      Swany!

      Oh my god — what a lovely message for you to leave me.

      You made my Friday!

      xxxx

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  38. Judgy McJudgepants

    Firstly, I love reading blogs written by female writers but I do admit, some are a guilty pleasure!. Two of my faves are ‘my favourite and my best’ and ‘Jen loves Kev’. Secondly, blog links please everyone!

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    • Karla

      Congratulations on your novel Bec – will be well pleased if some handsome husband of mine finds my hint note and it finds it’s way to me by Christmas!

      I never considered that Mummy Blogger as a term might be a little derisive slur. It is what it is, Mum’s, at home, blogging. I wonder if we could call young males, dudes, who blog ‘Doggers’ and get away with it??

      http://karlaon.blogspot.com.au/2012_02_01_archive.html

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    • Simone

      Here’s a link to mine: http://bingellsblog.bigblog.com.au

      I write about being a writer, pop culture, what’s in the new, or whatever takes my fancy. I consider myself a satirist, and have also published in the Young Adult genre.

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  39. berryberry

    This is a great article, Bec. What really gets me about Sam de Brito’s blog is that it comes under the Herald’s ‘Executive Style’ branding. HOW his blog qualifies as ‘executive style’ is beyond me. I am totally convinced if a woman wrote his posts word for word, the post would end up in the lifestyle section.

    I honestly believe that because Sam is a man, his writing is seen as valuable to ‘executives’ even though it covers exactly the same ground as anything written in a ‘mummy blog’.

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  40. Cat

    OMG thank you Bec!!! Yes. I agree totally, and include the term ‘chick-flick’ into this category too. So a blockbuster thriller with a bunch of dudes toting guns is for everyone, but a movie with mostly female characters, about female characters could only POSSIBLY be of interest to women. Please.

    You have made me assess myself though Bec. Just the other day I was talking with a friend about “50 Shades of Grey” and I said “As soon as a book is described as chick-lit I have no interest in reading it.” I realise that probably many good books are put into this category without the choice of the author.

    And on the topic of this book – it is described as ‘mummy porn”??? what?!! only Mums will get off on it? It’s so bad that only Mum’s with no standards will read it? I don’t get it. I think this is another case of branding something with a dismissive, patronising stamp because a lot of women like it. I have no idea if it’s any good, but the whole discussion around it pisses me off.

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    • Anonymous

      It ended up with the label mummy porn because a lot of the first wave of hype over it was coming from self-described mummy bloggers who were writing about it very much from the point of view of a mum eg. “50 Shades of Grey made me put the never-ending pile of washing to the side and cuddle up to my own Mr Grey for the first time since “insert annoying nickname for child here” started teething (part 19 of that saga coming soon!!!). How naughty!!!”

      The media just noticed the trend, they didn’t slap a random label on it

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    • Simone

      ‘Mummy porn’: “Lie down,” he said in tones not to be argued with. “Put your legs up and rest your ankles here. Now you stay like that. Don’t move. will vacuum the house.”

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  41. Ponykid

    I use the term mummy blogger and never thought of it as derogatory. Like mompreneurs, mummy bloggers are a force to be reckoned with in my opinion. I dont see a problem with the term.

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    • KatieKate

      I own The Girl Most Likely and I’ve read it dozens of times, it’s brilliant!

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  42. Nicki

    I didn’t see anything catty about Anon’s comment.

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  43. Kate Forster

    This ol’ chestnut again?

    Many women write to save their sanity, I know I do.

    If you’re at home, with small people who regularly shit themselves then writing is the least worst thing you could do with your day.
    Not every mother who writes does so for ‘monetising’. Some do it because they are trying to find themselves while knee deep in Fisher Price and a fast fading identity.

    As for chick-lit- I don’t care what people call my book. I’m never going to keep everyone happy, not even my own mother.
    Read what you love and screw the haters.

    Labels are for wine. And designer clothes. And sexy shoes. And IT bags….

    Oh damn, I think I just wrote a chick-lit post.

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  44. Lisa Heidke

    Ms Sparrow, you are a clever clogs and I agree with every word…every word, lovely!

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    • becsparrow

      Thanks Lis!

      Can I download Stella Makes Good on Kindle? (That’s not a gratuitous plug, I’m actually asking!)

      xxxxxx

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  45. cher

    I recently read ‘Caleb’s Crossing’ and one of the things that really struck me was Geraldine Brooks describing how hard it was to find the female voice in Seventeenth Century America. She had to go through court transcripts to locate the words of these women whose experiences were otherwise not recorded.

    Thank goodness that so many women are writing and publishing their experiences both in and out of the home. Future generations will be in no doubt of the wealth of experiences, emotions and accomplishments of women in their day to day life.

    I say own the terms ‘Chic-lit’ and ‘Mummy Blogs’ – there’s some pretty impressive work in these genres that will transcend labels.

    And on a side note, I have read widely for my entire life, and I’ve suddenly realised I rarely read books by male authors. I used to, but now I just want the female perspective on life. And whenever I do try a male author, I always seem to be disappointed. Now there’s a form of discrimination I never expected to develop!

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    • hellopetal

      That’s interesting re: reading mostly female authors now. I’ve gone through stages of reading mostly female authors unintentionally too but it seems to be an even mix at present.

      I’m partway through Caleb’s Crossing at present. I’ve had trouble getting as into it as some of Brooks’ other works.

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    • Jayne

      Oh I love Geraldine Brooks! I haven’t read Caleb’s Crossing yet, but I fell in love with her writing when I read the Year of Wonders. Such beautiful prose.

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      • cher

        I also adore Geraldine Brooks but ‘Caleb’s Crossing’ is probably my least favourite. Took me ages to get into it.

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      • Diana The Huntress

        Year Of Wonders is a gorgeous book, and so sad. I’ve read it several times.

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  46. Beckala

    This reminds me of something Marian Keyes said when she released “Rachel’s Holiday” which a reviewer trashed saying it was superficial chick lit – it details the story of a girl sent to rehab having the slow realisation she is a drug addict. Really powerful stuff! I sobbed in parts!

    I’ve got a masters in English, I’m an English teacher, but I happily admit that Marian is one of my all time favourite authors – and I’m a “chick lit” lover! I hate people who look down on a genre – mostly because they have never read it but bag it out regardless – a friend does this to me all the time. She’s a total literature snob and thinks I’m “wasting my time on trite nonsense”. But you know what? I don’t always want to read Shakespeare or Austen or Dickens! I love chick lit, gothic, dystopian fiction as well as big L “Literature”.

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    • Luci

      I think ” mummy blogger” is an appropriate term to be used. It identifies and separates the writings of those who have a smaller perspective or interest. It does not encourage us to broaden our horizon of thought. It is in the same category of the reality tv shows and the silly womens’ magazines…..( and before you react…it is the same as what you eat…a little bit of something trashy along the way is fine…as long as you know how to discriminate and know it for what it is. )
      Personally, I find all of the above a waste of time and an insult to the meaning of being a human…the brain is there to think and the value of curiosity should never be underestimated.
      Chick lit is not literature…look up the definition and don’t insult proper writers by calling it literature…..it is only a collection of words designed to sell to the unaspirational

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      • Faybian

        Could you be anymore condescending?
        Do people always have to be functioning at their peak to be any use? I believe your response to beckala’s post illustrated her point about some people perfectly. There, I’ve reacted.

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        • Loop

          Sometimes I can’t help myself (reacting) either, Faybian…

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      • becsparrow

        Melissa Banks’ “The Girls’ Guide To Hunting and Fishing” was routinely described as chick-lit when it was published in 2003 and she is a critically acclaimed writer and New York Times best-seller.

        I would challenge you to read that book and tell me that it is the equivalent of reality tv.

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        • City Chick

          Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing is too literary to be genre fiction.

          Eg are they linked stories, or a novel? Is the authorial voice the same character throughout, or not?

          You could possibly argue that it’s well-executed genre fiction, chick lit at its best.

          But I think it’s got too much to interest a male reader to be real chick lit. (Chick lit being for, well, chicks.)

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    • Simone

      I love Marian Keyes, too. I loved ‘Rachel’s Holiday’. It was heavy going in parts, and the protagont had to face the fact she was an addict. I am a writer, too, and write satire, but I enjoy a bit of ‘chick-lit’, too.

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  47. rivkah

    Bec, thanks for alerting me to Penni Russon’s blog ‘eglantine’s cake’ through the Kate Eltham quote. Her ringing endorsement sent me to check it out. Have had a quick squiz and am hooked already!

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    • becsparrow

      I know. HOW GOOD IS IT? She’s terrific. Beautiful writing …

      Also it’s really worth checking out Dr Karen Brooks’ stuff on her website and also Kate Eltham … they write incredibly thought-provoking pieces. Love ‘em. It’s like brain food …

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  48. Anonymous

    “If you’re a woman writer who blogs, you’re a “mummy blogger” (whether mother or not).”

    This simply isn’t true. Do the hundreds of thousands of female food bloggers, beauty bloggers, fashion bloggers, politics bloggers, activist bloggers, art bloggers, tech bloggers etc get mistaken for ‘mummy bloggers’. No.

    Women who post extensively about their kids and their lives as relates to their kids get that title. I’d say 90% of them deserve it. The vast majority of ‘mummy blogs’ are painfully boring and terribly written, and often just an excuse for mum’s to spam the internet with hundreds of pics of their kids no one but them is really interested in. There are some good ‘mummy blogs’ out there, but they are mostly written by professional writers and are more about what’s going on inside their head than what ‘Peanut’ had for breakfast.

    btw, some of the oldest and most popular ‘mummy blogs’ are those that are called something with mummy, mama, mum etc. in it.

    As for chick-lit, again 90% of it deserves the crappy categorization. There’s simply no comparison between Jane Austen and Sophie Kinsella, and she’s one of the better chick-lit writers. The worst just craft a book around a few cliches. Shopping. Manolo Blahniks. Tall, dark and handsome. Dating. Drama. DIAMOND!!! Wedding. Walk in closet. RICH! More shopping.

    On the flip-side, men’s writing of the same calibre is no more respected. ‘Dick-lit’ or trash as it used to be called is a joke too. The difference is male writers aren’t trying to convince anyone their book that goes something like “Super-secret spy. Russians. BOOM!!!” is comparable to Jonathan’s Franzen latest book, they’re just enjoying the cash that pumping out a bit of rubbish every year or two gets them.

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    • Jess

      Very well said, I agree with every word.

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    • Sue

      Mia, I wonder if you could have a comment policy which doesn’t allow people to post under ‘anon’ or ‘anonymous’, but requires them to choose a name/any name eg Sue, if they don’t want to use their own name. Or if they usually use their own name/regular name, but this time they’re being anonymous, just pick a one-off name. It seems that people mostly use ‘anonymous’ or ‘anon’ when their posting a comment that disagrees with the majority voice, and while I understand this, it really detracts from the reading on here. To me it sometimes feels like you’re not really ‘owning’ your comment, rather than just being private. It especially detracts when a comment by ‘anon’ develops into a conversation, and there are different ‘anons’ all discussing. Even when this doesn’t happen it really detracts from a comment somehow, in my opinion. (By the way, my names not Sue.)

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      • Sarah

        My name is Sarah.

        Mamamia could make it complusory to put in some sort of name, but they haven’t and I assume they have their reasons. Without the usual promting to fill it in, I simply forget to.

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      • Polly

        The only relevance of a name is so that you can follow a particular line of conversation. If Anon is easy to follow, then I am fine with this.

        It is when there is anon and Anonymous and Anon, that I have difficulty.

        I doubt that anyone is hiding being this sort of moniker. I suspect that it is more just lack of imagination rather than paranoia.

        My name is Polly, or sometimes Pollyanna depending upon how quickly I am typing.

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      • Anonymous

        I used to post under a name ages ago when it was all less wizz bang and commercial, but then when the MM changed direction and got much bigger I didn’t want to register myself again. Mia knows how I feel about advertising. I do still come here, very regularly, and still love the site, especially Mia’s writing. Maybe one day I will return with my ‘old’ name ……

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    • becsparrow

      Hi Anonymous

      When the Prime Minister recently hosted a morning tea with a swag of female writers and opinon-makers it was repeatedly referred to as “Morning tea with the mummy bloggers” … despite the fact a number of women there were not mothers. Nor bloggers.

      It’s a lazy label bandied around by journalists.

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      • Sarah

        My partner has attended a few of those types of things, and the write up is always 100% focused on the handful of footy players or the mining magnate who attended. It’s just about what makes for a better headline. “PM meets with diverse group of women” isn’t particularly grabbing.

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      • Two Minds

        In all fairness, that morning tea was an obvious PR stunt by the PM to get ‘working families’ and mums on board because Julia’s lack of children has always been (incorrectly) considered a slight against her.

        If it was more than that, there would have been posts on the internet talking about the valuable questions these women raised and insights made at the tea, rather than a bunch of women oohing and ahhing over whether Julia puts peas in her tuna mornay. The posts and twitter comments that followed that morning tea is exactly why a lot of people don’t take mummy bloggers seriously.

        Which is sad, because a small number of them are very talented and get lost in the clutter.

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    • Voni

      Agree wholeheartedly. I had to unsubscribe from a couple of mummy blogs (Imperfect Mum, one of them) because it was too depressing to read the illiterate and poor parenting state of some of these women (and after I read MamaMia’s article on ‘blog haters’). I dare you to read the abovenamed blog (which is one of many espousing ridiculous, non medically sound or fact-based advice) without judgement or wanting to rush in and save some of those kids. “I drank throughout my pregnancy and my kids turned out alright” and other notable comments from that blog do nothing but result in lowering the parenting bar all round. Very different literary kettle of fish to Mamamia, that’s for sure!

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    • Nicki

      Couldn’t agree more.

      Here is a female blogger who is the anti-mummy blogger.

      Apparently she’s a foster parent, but you won’t find very many mentions of her foster children anywhere here. When I found this blog, I was consumed by it until I’d read every single post. I don’t necessarily agree with some of her opinions, but she really made me think. Her posts cover everything from how to get yourself out of financial strife, to why some mummy-bloggers are narcissists who are exploiting their children for fun and financial gain, to why “nice guys” aren’t nice, all in a darkly humourous way.

      Warning: Some of her stuff is quite confronting!!!!!!!!!

      http://www.violentacres.com/archives/6/monthy-newsletter-month-thirty-three/

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      • Happymum

        Your comment intrigued me, so I clicked away and BAM!

        I think this is the perfect antidote to any boring blog out there. Whoever this is, they are on a winner. No comments, Anonymity, real opinions not watered down and sensible money advice too.

        Thankyou!

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    • Guest

      Awesome comment.

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    • Ellen

      I really agree with pretty much everything you said. If the term ‘mummy blogger’ is demeaning, it’s because of what is happening within it, not just how it is referenced. It sounds almost silly to say there are journos conspiring to drag down women’s writing by calling them all ‘mummy bloggers’ and spreading the word that this is a bad thing. The term mummy bloggers started, like a lot of labels/categories, as a convenient way to summarize a whole heap of bloggers popping up and becoming very popular that focused on parenting, kids and domestic life. Due to it’s popularity, I dare say a lot of people wanted in and started their own blogs and many just didn’t have the passion or talent for writing that the good mummy blogs have. End result is, the parenting blogging world is full of poor blogs that drag down the rep of other mummy bloggers. Just like there are a lot of REALLY bad books, written by women for women about a woman that explore just about nothing.

      I’m fairly new to the beauty blogging world as a blogger, and I have to say a similar thing is happening there. It’s popular and some of the big blogs are earning money and getting freebies so there are a shocking number of truly terrible, poorly written beauty blogs out there wanting a piece of the pie.

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      • Sarah

        So agree about beauty blogs. I’ve seen so many lately that are just terrible. Reviews like “So this lipgloss is like really glossy and shiny lol..love it!” accompanied by a blurry, terribly lit camera phone picture of a swatch that makes the pink lipgloss look puke coloured. Seriously, why bother?

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  49. La Petite Chou

    It’s a relatively new genre and it’s still being defined and continues to out-grow the boundaries placed upon it by the expectations of others.

    Like all good writing actually.

    Some bloggers need writing lessons, others need a good editor, others need a life coach or perhaps a business coach to help their focus and others need to get. a. life. Not everyone will be good at it. That’s how it happens. For me, it’s the grit and pinch of life that informs good writing and separates it from bland same-day dreariness.

    I don’t want to read blogs all produced by the same designer in this years colours and fonts about endless days of dirty nappies and projectile vomiting and I don’t always like endless photos of happy gorgeous babies or perfect homes any more than I want trite commentary from people who clearly all support each other. I see the same names commenting on each other’s blogs. It can feel like a great big love-in but it doesn’t always improve the writing.

    All of these blogging cardinal sins encourages mediocrity. Sorry. It does.

    Right now the debate rages about the other polarising issue in blogging, that of how best to include commercial sensitivities. It’s probably best tackled in a separate post, but I think the people that perpetrate the ‘mummy blogging’ stereotype are often those that, though they may get very uncomfortable with the close scrutiny currently being directed ot this cohort, need to think long and hard about endless paid commentary and opinion wrapped up in the guise of exclusivity and being a paid writer. A sponsored post rarely makes for good writing.

    It cheapens everything I love about writing and it’s something I’m really putting some intense thought into as I prepare a business plan for my next year as a small business operator, which is what blogging has provided for me. I don’t want it to be the main game. I say this as someone whose last four posts have been sponsored, (though to be fair I am having a bit of a blogging hiatus while I go back into the kitchen to develop some more recipes. Normally they would be far more sporadic).

    The best blogs are those by people who could write in any forum or in any context and be bloody great reads. They can’t be defined as mummy bloggers because their writing can not be defined. Whenever we get a handle on them, they change, just like life changes. It’s wonderful to be a witness to it and it’s the sincerest form of flattery I can think of to want to emulate them.

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    • Plain Jane

      I agree with most of what you have said Sandra, I especially get turned off by the clicky blogs where they all comment on each others blogs and visit each others holidays houses and go to blogging conferences together.

      The trend at the moment seems to be a never ending posting of how they are all misunderstood and tradional media is picking on them.
      I get it, I don’t need to read it on every blog for a month. This is a classic example of thinking what is happening in your small little world is of any interest to your readers. I don’t care if you are feeling picked on and you don’t like being called a mummy blogger.
      You all didn’t seem to mind going to tea with the PM under the heading Mummy Bloggers and the PM.
      I have unsubscibed from about 15 blogs this past week because of the woe is me and all my poor other mummy bloggers being picked on type posts.
      And if another blogger tells me what she is going to eat when she gets to New York for the blogging conference I may stab someone.

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    • Two Minds

      Very well articulated Sandra.

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  50. a dry fruit loop eater

    I don’t really care that “Girl most likely” is considered chick-lit, and you shouldn’t either. The book you wrote way back when, was simply excellent and stands proudly on my bookshelf, as one of the most passed-around books I own.

    I have sent it overseas to friends feeling homesick, it has made them laugh and cry. I have sent it off to hospital with friends waiting for babies to arrive. I re-read it when in need cheering up and I read it aloud to my husband when trying to explain something from my past, my hometown or my perspective.

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    • becsparrow

      What a wonderful comment to read on a Friday night.

      Thank you!

      xxxx

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