Angela Mollard
In the interests of research, I once squeezed a woman’s breasts. Yep, a full-on fondle – with both hands – up under her pink bra. Well, that got your attention, didn’t it? Hi, fellas!
I’d been sent to a lap-dancing club by an editor keen to stroke, sorry, stoke the usual media outrage that occurs whenever a sexual establishment sets up in suburbia.
But far more interesting than the girls getting their kit off for a bunch of bankers (honestly, they were happily coining it) was their bodies. Or, more specifically, their breasts. Because, while I’d been cruising through the ’90s thinking shoulder pads were the most offensive blight on my generation, a score of women had been secretly upholstering their boobs so they were as plumped and shiny as the vinyl seats on a Ford Escort.
Anyway, Debbie let me have a good squish. Well, as much as you can squish a rock in a sock. She said her new breasts made her feel “empowered”. Certainly, the stash of notes in her garter was proof of a worthy investment.
Fifteen years on, I’m seeing Debbie’s boobs everywhere. They’ve spilled out of strip clubs and into our supermarkets and family beaches. I surf with a mother-of-three who works a Lara Croft look in her wetsuit.
I’m not in the business of telling other women what to do with their bodies. Not usually. Tatts, piercings, extensions – go for it, sister. But hacking into your boobs is different. As author Caitlin Moran writes, “Are the men doing it?” Men aren’t bolstering their penises with banana-shaped implants, so why are we butchering our beautiful breasts and stuffing them full of sofa-grade silicone? How did the skyward-nippled, cantilevered coconut look get so popular? And who likes these taut, angry, veiny, unyielding bazookas anyway? Aren’t there enough ball sports?
Let me be clear, I’m not talking about post-mastectomy surgery. No, I’m concerned about the 21-year-olds who, instead of saving for a car, are working overtime for a D-cup. These girls aren’t vain, stupid or bullied by their boyfriends; rather, they were raised in a culture where the celebrated female aesthetic of big boobs atop a tiny torso has burst out of the porn industry and into the mainstream. And while nature rarely bequeaths such a combination, science has given us the means to achieve it and society has given its say-so. Why? Because, apparently, we’re worth it.
Some facts: aside from the PIP scandal where 40,000 women were stitched up with industrial silicone, breast implants have a shelf life. Most last 10 years before they shrink, move, harden or leak and you need new ones. Imagine major surgery, risk of infection, general anaesthetic, scarring – not to mention the cost – five or six times during your life. How did we become so scalpel happy?
Oh dear, I’ve gone all finger waggy. Girls, we’ve been peddled a lie by an increasingly sexualised society. And only we can change it. Boys may bang on about boobs but men – good men – don’t care. And some are scared witless by a pair of manufactured melons.
If you’re doing it for confidence, then think less about how you can acquire it and more about why you lack it. As my A-cupped friend says, “Women drivel on about needing bigger breasts to feel empowered. A bigger intellect will do that. And a nice blow-dry.”
Confidence built on artifice will crumble. Remember, our bodies are where and how we live; they’re the only thing we truly own.
Angela Mollard is a Sydney-based journalist who has now combined motherhood with writing for magazines both in Australia and the UK. You can follow her on Twitter here.
This article was originally published on The Punch here and has been republished with full permission from the author.
Comments
212 Comments so far
Think Hunger Games
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I’m a 22 year old and thinking of getting breast enlargement surgery. No I am not doing this for my boyfriend (who doesn’t even want me to get them) or society, but for myself. I have a slightly deformed chest and although no one else can see it, I can. I am not looking into this surgery lightly as I know their are a lot of complications that can be associated. I do know a lot of young ladies who have gotten this surgery purely for self esteem reasons, but it is important to note that their are a lot of ladies doing this for themselves… not because society thinks it looks better or that it will be more appealing to the opposite sex… but because they want it.
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Awsome post and straight to the point. I don’t know if this is truly the best place to ask but do you folks have any thoughts on where to employ some professional writers? Thx
Ashli http://friendlinked.com/index.php?do=/blog/227752/womens-health-introduces-the-three-wonderful-ways-on-getting-naturally-bigg/
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I am a 16E and absolutely hate the fact I can never find a decent cozie top to fit – I am only 42 and feel like I have to buy granny cozies all the time. I remember thinking when Jodhi Packer put out Tiger Lilly cozies that she would have some that I would fit into as she used to have big boobs but was very disappointed when they were tiny tiny little cozies for girls who had nothing up top. I feel like I should have a boob reduction just so I can find a decent bra or cozie top it is just insane. Also isn’t it interesting when I am trying to find a 16E bra they are all sold out – cozie designers need to step up and take note that we aren’t all from the iddy biddy titty committee. I used to be a 10D and was quite fit in my 20′s and then when you have a couple of kids that all goes south and they just get bigger and bigger. I think chicks need to stop getting on their high horse and just accept genetics. Nothing you can really do about it and there is a lot more important stuff going on in the world other than ‘tits’.
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As a feminist, I’ve always supported women’s choices but we need to question on the motivation as we cannot assume decisions are made in a vacuum. It gets to the very notion of free will. For a young woman deciding on implants – where did she get the perception that bigger is better? Why would she think that she would feel better about herself after the boob job? It’s doubtful in many cases, I suspect, that you could answer these questions honestly without evoking something that has been culturally transmitted by patriarchy. And if that’s the case, can we really say that the woman made the choice or the patriarchy? Why do women have more plastic surgery than men? Even if she did “do it for herself,” the idea that something was wrong with her in the first place had to come from somewhere. (That’s my personal issue with postmodern 3rd wave feminism thinking every decision we make is empowering.)
The question around how is a boob job any different from dental cosmetic work etc.. is, for myself, the cultural preference for larger breasts is largely tied to the sexual objectification of women. Men also get dental work, have nose jobs etc (though to a lesser extent). That’s why I spend more time ruminating, analysing and exploring the motivations behind breasts implants than say dental work, make up, nails etc. (after all, there is also the human desire to be attractive which is not tied to patriarchy). And the more we explore the motivation as individuals and collectively; I think it would lead to more acceptance and happiness of our bodies, just as we are.
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Definitely an important topic. The increase in incidence and the expectation that small breasted women get implants is alarming, and there is definitely more to it that personal choice. But you can write a thoughtful article about that without deriding the surgically altered breasts that are now the actual bodies of many women (including me). Angry? Veiny? sofa-grade? Your point got lost in the insulting way you described your sisters. Please reconsider your approach.
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With men not getting implants, we’re not comparing apples with apples.
Plenty of men get wigs or hair transplants or cars they can’t afford.
Besides aren’t people just worried about girls getting implants being a symptom of low self esteem? Or for some women is it seen as an escalation in the arms race for male attention?
Frankly, if the girl has a healthy self esteem and is getting them for herself rather than a man, I don’t see the problem.
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Very well-said, Angela! Boob jobs are so common nowadays that I’m afraid it is becoming the normalised standard! I always say to my husband that if one day we had a daughter, I’ll worry for her as cosmetic surgery is becoming so common and our society is getting very superficial. How are we going to teach her that feeling empowered as a female doesn’t necessary mean you need to have bigger boobs, wrinkled-free face, perfect body etc? Although I fully agree women have a choice as to what they do with their body, I do think the numbers of cosmetic surgeries are terribly high in our society and will continue to soar. Like Angela has said, confidence built on artifice will crumble.
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A lot of women below are commenting “their body, their choice, why does it matter?” It matters because the more it happens, the more that it becomes the normalised standard.
Originally, most women didn’t even wear make up or shave. Then everyone started wearing make up. Then everyone started dying their hair. Then everyone started getting brazilians. Now people are getting botox. More people are getting breast implants.
If I didn’t shave my legs I’d look like I was making a statement – like I am a crazy feminazi (I say this facetiously). If I didn’t dye my prematurely grey hair I’d look like I was just letting myself go. All these beauty regimes are unnatural cultural adjustments we make in the name of beauty – and they are now considered normal.
Every time a woman has a boob job for cosmetic reasons, they make boob jobs more normal. Couple that with our culture of air brushing and porn, and increasingly big, impossibly perky breasts are becoming not just normal, but expected.
I’m terrified that one day boob jobs will be like dyed hair or botox – not unusual for a woman ‘taking care’ of her appearance.
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“I’m terrified that one day boob jobs will be like dyed hair or botox – not unusual for a woman ‘taking care’ of her appearance.”
That is one scary thought!
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Alice turned into Anna?!
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When women mention that the breast implants give them confidence, I have to wonder how much they are relying on how men view them and what validation they are given for such a belief. The idea of “big breasts” are mostly taken from mens magazines and the media.
There are countless ways to become more self confident that do not require surgery. If you need surgery to gain self confidence, I’d try seeing a psychologist first.
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Mia’s article on google intelligence and people speaking on things they just are not qualified or educated about, beyond a google search and no actual interviewing, couldn’t be more spot on to the reporting in this article.
Please Angela visit a plastic surgeon that specializes in breast surgery (perhaps the Australian of the Year from a few years ago who makes his staple living doing boob jobs on normal women not porn stars as well as working on disfigured children) and don’t create further ridiculous prejudice among your readers before you get the real facts – not just a google statistic from Canada. Using information on French implants they didn’t even install in Australia, purely to inflame readers and create further prejudice – the public health with regard to French implants was to do with the UK NHS. The propaganda here is as bad as the AVN which Mia is so greatly against.
I believe if you open your mind and interview a surgeon and some patients operated on in AUSTRALIA you would come away from seeing before and afters of average women with turkish-delight texture leak proof silicone not saline and real statistics on risk v’s quality of life and happiness. Unless you get the saline rock hard rippley coconuts you don’t get vastly different boobs from implants, they are the same shape same look just bigger (unless you have a breast lift to change the shape) – people get false impressions from porn about what post-surgery boobs look like on average women.
I’m sure the 21 year olds are not getting the implants for the same reason as the 25 year old or the 45 year old. Implants are not permanent. If you feel you’ve made a mistake and get them out you go back to the boobs you had before with a tiny scar that is invisible in the crease line in most cases. So many women get breast lifts after breast feeding etc. and have implants put in at the same time…. if they are happy in every other aspect of their life why shouldn’t they be able to have the look they want to have. Nobody is going to flash their lollypop breast lift scars thats new shape resembles a small squared bean bag for the first year or so or attract men with them, it’s purely for the woman. I’m really surprised so many readers don’t see that.
Each to their own when it comes to what makes you feel good. You can’t give your daughter bracers to give her perfect teeth, get veneers or a full set of crowns when your teeth aren’t as pretty as they once were, and then say it’s wrong to alter your appearance by expensive artificial means that require regular (10 yearly) surgical maintenance as all these things do! Very hypocritical.
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So many incorrect facts in your response Anon. It’s very hard for your argument to be convincing when it’s so obviously incorrect – starting with the statement that the faulty French implants weren’t inserted here.
Australian Doctor Mag this month states that 13,000 now-banned implants have been used in Australian women, and approximately 3,000 Australian women recieved the PIP implants you’re referring to. Check your facts.
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I have to say that I was completely shocked to learn that a large number of the young 20 something’s at my partner’s work have breast implants (the remainder seem to be naturally well endowed). What is even more shocking to me is that it is an executive office and yet everywhere you turn these twenty something’s have their boobs bursting out of their necklines! Come on people – whatever happened to self respect and professionalism!?!?!
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As an older person with large boobs, I can state categorically that it’s of no advantage whatsoever when you get older. They’re a pain in the neck – almost impossible to get clothes to fit, the manufacturers’ ideas of L, XL and XXL and mine are diametrically opposite. Even if you get tops to fit, they’re nearly always low cut. An ageing decolletage is not a pretty sight, not something I want these days.
I can understand if you’re very small having implants (plus for medical reasons), but moderation, please!
I also don’t see why the taxpayer should be forking out to have the possibly-toxic French made implants removed.
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I’m small, didn’t really need a bra, even for running before I first put on a maternity bra. Any cleavage I have now is cos I’m a bit heavier and lets face it comes with the bra.
I always wanted bigger boobs when I was young, but then I started nursing and saw what happens tithe elderly with big boobs and was put off. That doesn’t happen with implants, but an aunt had them when fairly young and ended up getting them out, as they kept hardening and encapsulating.
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I understand that the purpose of these articles is to encourage readers to imagine how the issue relates to them and to promote discussion. The aggressive and judgemental tone of many of the comments is a worry though. On contentious issues like this, can’t we be more respectful? Opinion is by definition personal. If someone’s opinion or decision is not in accordance with your own, do you need to feel so threatened that you lash out at others? Maybe look inward and thoroughly examine your own position before you demean others.
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I am so on the fence about this. I don’t remember when I got my boobs. One day I was a flat chested pre-pubescent thing, then voila, hello 10DD. It was amazing the amount of validation I found from having them. I was jubilant when FINALLY in Year 8, boys noticed me. I was actually daft enough to think that it was me they were interested in, not the two mounds that had begun protruding from my torso at an alarming rate. Gosh, wasn’t I a hot little thing. Why I wasn’t mortified that my peers were having a conversation with my chest baffles me, or why I wasn’t upset that you know, my “huge tits” as they were so politely called were a nicer sight than what I’d like to think wasn’t a completely repulsive face, still confuses me. That said, I was about 13.
Fast forward seven years and the “wow my boobs are really huge” euphoria has been replaced with a love-hate relationship. Somedays, like the days I’m wearing clothes that need filling out, I love them, cause I can always count on the twins to do the job, possibly a little too well. Other days, it would nice to be able to wear a low cut dress (or ANY DRESS for that matter) and have it look classy, not as though I just knocked off work at a strip club. Or you know, have people comment on the actual dress, or your hair, or make up as opposed to your cleavage. Sometimes I feel as though I may as well of just rocked up naked. Other times, it would be nice to be able to walk from my bedroom to the bathroom in my pajamas without the pain that only a bra can ease (damn you, gravity). It’s an odd look when you’re hobbling along in the wee hours with your arm in a sling-like position trying to keep them afloat.
Maybe If I didn’t have my perky little friends I’d feel differently. Heck, maybe I’d be wanting a boob job. To be honest, I can’t really imagine life with small boobs. But as someone who doesn’t need anything getting any bigger around the chest area, I don’t like the idea of implants. Is that a fair opinion considering I’ll never, for lack of a better word, need one? Maybe not. It’s one thing to get huge boobs the natural way, but to go and fork out thousands for a pair of G cups, or, as Heidi Montag wanted “H for Heidi”, no thankyou. I’d rather a nice holiday. Also- what would you say when someone compliments them? Smile politely and then go and complain about the pervert, or go “thanks man! They sure set me back but with all the looks I’ve been getting these babies pay for themselves!” I’m sure a lot of woman want larger breasts so they feel more attractive, or beautiful, or even like more of a woman (although I personally don’t equate breasts with womanhood or beauty). But plastic surgery isn’t a one stop shop on the road to eternal youth and beauty. It’s painful. It could get infected. Your attempts to quite literally make a mountain out of a molehill could leave you disfigured. Or even dead. I don’t think I could ever have plastic surgery for purely aesthetic reasons because I wouldn’t want to be in the minority that don’t make it, and I wouldn’t want to be the girl who died because she hated her nose (and believe me, I hate my nose). When considering the worst outcome, I don’t think two little mounds are really that hard to live with. But I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. You just have to realise not everyone’s a fan of synthetic lawn.
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I have naturally very large breasts – F cups. They make buying clothes difficult – very few non-stretch clothes fit, so I end up sewing my own clothes to get the right fit. My big boobs are such a part of me that I wouldn’t feel like me without them. The problem is that obviously, as I get older, they are migrating south. I don’t want implants, but would definitely like to do something to lift them (providing it doesn’t make them smaller).
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I have DD’s mostly, unless they go up to an E on a fat, fluid retention day.
I have back pain, I have unsexy bras, I haven’t worn a tight teeshirt in years. Forget about buying a button up shirt that doesn’t bulge open. Sleeping on my stomach was out many years ago.
And I don’t find anything empowering about men talking to my chest.
I understand wanting to go from an A to a C. But anything bigger? No thanks. I’d dearly love to reduce mine to a size that I could buy a decent shirt for. Or at least hitch the two I’ve got back into position.
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I’m really disappointed by the judgmental, holier than thou attitudes of some people commenting on this post. I have breast implants because I had a slight deformation, called tubular breasts. I was sick of feeling shy and a little ripped off in the boob department, so I did something about it. I also have two degrees, am a librarian of all things (insert sexy librarian joke here), a feminist, and happily married.
Do you think I must secretly hate myself? I have had some tough life experiences that made me understand how bloody quick life is, and that it can be over in an instant. Why not improve something if it’s a safe, researched decision?
Having breast implants didn’t miraculously change my life. I am proud of myself for my intellect, accomplishments, kindness and empathy, among a myriad of other things. Feeling good about my body is just the icing on the cake, so why condemn women like me for making such a decision?
Also, modern implants do not need to be replaced every ten years. Mine even come with a lifetime warranty!
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Agree! I also have breast implants .I had them after breast feeding five children and was left seriously depleted after the last one , too the point where I actually had too lift my empty breast by the nipple which sat somewhere near my belly button to place them in my bra .I didnt have any expectations that the implants would change my life in anyway nor improve my confidence, it would simply fill out my bra and give me back the body i kinda had before I became a milk machine.But just to let you know mine are 8 years old and need replacing one is leaking (not pip) and the life time warranty only applies to the actual divice and only the one with an issue not any further cost of surgery ,so realistically the “life time warranty” is a bit of a sham.
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I too have tubular breasts and am thinking of getting surgery. Where are you based? Maybe you could rec your surgeon?
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Heya, I am based in Perth and saw Mr Chan
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One more thing, Anonymous – the operation is a little more involved than getting standard breast implants, because the shape is being changed more than the size. I háve had them for four years and I honestly forget sometimes! The are soft, in proportion and even jiggle like real ones!
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Ithink these sort of operations come under the plastic (as opposed to purely cosmetic) surgery banner and I don’t personally have a problem at all with it.
I’d like to have plastic surgery on my face to make my lip line more symmetrical again. I feel like a stroke victim when I look at myself. Vanity? Yes, but not specifically to make me just look younger.
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I see where you’re coming from but why should women have to justify their decision? I don’t really understand why saying Ï wanted to,”isn’t enough. I relaise I am undermining my own point because I did exactly that! We’re complex creatures for sure!
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It’s part of the double standard we have in society – we put a premium on beauty yet consider the process of beautification a trivial pursuit. That’s why celebs love to deny any surgery that they’ve had.
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I had implants 16 years ago, a small B cup, they do not resemble balls. I have breastfed 3 children and never had a single problem.
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i had no idea that having implants meant committing to surgery every ten years. seriously life is too short to have that looming.
what i don’t understand is how people don’t just invest in some seriously good bras with padding etc. doesn’t that give enough?
i totally understand the need for implants post-mastectomy. otherwise i struggle. i think a lot of people aren’t happy with their appearance, i think you need to work from within. but having said all that if you don’t have fear of surgery, and really want it, it is your choice.
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“what i don’t understand is how people don’t just invest in some seriously good bras with padding etc. doesn’t that give enough?”
You clearly don’t have A-cup breasts
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no i don’t but i have friends who do and wear these amazing bras.
i guess the grass is always greener, i have normal sized breasts and always thought smaller ones would be easier to handle for running etc but just as easy to pad up when you wanted.
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Yep – you can pad them up but only to a certain extent. The majority of clothes I buy in my size are way too long over the shoulders and look like they’re cut really low at the front because there is no boob to fill them out. You are also very restricted with wearing any lower cut clothes because although you can pad out a bra, you can’t create a fake cleavage when there’s no boob to push up.
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I still have that and I’m in my 40s and no longer an A cup (B or C). Over the years I’ve learned what looks good on me and learned to play up my other assets (tush).
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i was emailed a comment that seems to have disappeared.
HUUUUGE apologies for using the word normal. i mean average, not tiny not huge. and so sorry for unwittingly using a cricket analogy by saying “pad up”. now excuse me while i go and beat myself across the head. aaarrrggghh
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Articles like this infuriate me. You have no idea why a woman may choose to get surgery.
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Why do they then?
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Surely, none of your business? I don’t think it’s appropriate or polite to comment on the private decisions of others. I believe that was the point being made, not an invitation to ask for justification….
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unfortunately my comment has been edited to be one sentence of a larger comment. How dissapointing, my comment was no where near as offensive or judgemental as this article. I also noted another comment disagreeing has been removed. A very biased and controlled forum.
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Interesting article and I”m enjoying reading all the comments! Such a broad range of opinions out there!
I’m not judgemental of women who get plastic surgery, whatever their reasons. What you do with your own body and where you spend your own money is your choice and if it makes you feel better, all power to you. However, I do believe that women who want to get breast implants should go see a psychologist/psychiatrist before making a final decision. Many will still continue with the surgery, but some may change their mind. It’s also good for women to think about the real reasons why they are getting this done and whether it will solve their problems.
I’m at the other end of the spectrum to women who want breast implants, where I would love a little bit less! I vary according to brand of bra but I average about an E-cup (some bras are DD and others are F) and I would love to just be a full D, or even a C cup. I’ve had big breasts since I was 15 but they seem to have grown even more in the past few years, probably due to weight gain! I’ve thought about a reduction but it’s very expensive and I’ve heard it’s dangerous and I also really don’t like the idea of someone hacking into my body and the potential risks. Whenever I think about having children (I don’t have any yet), I become absolutely terrified at the thought that my breasts will become even bigger. I stand by the fact that despite the risks, if they become any bigger if I have children, I will get a reduction.
Although I don’t know what it’s like to be small-chested (apart from when I was a child/early teen obviously), I understand what it must be like to want just a little bit more the way I want just a little bit less. There are days when i would kill to run without any pain, go without wearing a bra, buy any bra I want (the bigger sizes tend to look like they’re made for Grandmothers), and fit any top I want. My friends say I should appreciate what I’ve got and most of the time I’m happy with my body but having big breasts does limit things (in terms of excercise, wearing certain clothes/bras etc). Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence….
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I’ll start this by stating that I was a girl who went through my teens & twenties as a size 8 with a B cup (with room to move). I’m now a size 10/12 with a I/J cup & I can’t wait till I get a reduction.
Within 5 mins of getting pregnant with my first child I jumped to a DD & by the end I was a J cup. After each pregnancy I lost weight everywhere else except for them & can’t wait till I can have a reduction.
Bonus’s that come with increased cup size
1. Wardrobe issues incl a lifetime of not being able to wear button up shirts & dresses – I’m a size 10 butt & size 18 top. Unable to wear a singlet without looking porno.
2. People speaking to your chest & not you.
3. Back & neck pain. Dents in your shoulders.
4. Laugh out loud jokes about floatation & bouncing back up.
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Reading your comment TERRIFIES me to the point where I dont’ want children!! You went from a B to an I/J? What hope do I have if I’m already an E? I’m almost in tears just thinking about it. Some women get smaller after kids, right??? Or am I just delusional?!
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Yep.. Happened to almost all my mummy friends and me… Huge boobs while breastfeeding and smaller/ floppier afterwards..
But you get beautiful babies and it makes it all worth it!
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You poor thing! I didn’t mean to terrify you. The same thing happened to my mum but both her sisters & my sister returned to their pre-bubs size or close to it. Most of my friends returned to their normal size once they lost the bubs weight as well…….I guess I’m a bit of a freak of nature but I’d do anything to get back to the smaller world. Would much rather boost them for a special night than cart them around daily.
Good luck
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Not me, mine just went back to pre-baby size (B-cup) after I’d finished breastfeeding. ; ) Same with all my mummy friends!
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Don’t panic! Everyone is different. My DD’s barely changed at all during two pregnancies and breastfeeding journeys. They are still EXACTLY the same and as perky as they always were. To the point that I had to actually “prove” to a bunch of my friends the other day because they thought they must be implants! Too funny!
PS One of my best friends got implants two years ago from a very reputable Sydney surgeon who told her that she probably WOULD have to get them replaced every 10 years. So it seems that the more “modern” implants are not for a lifetime.
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oh god. my current DD pregnancy boobs better deflate!!! EICH!
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lucky you , i went from a D to a D-flated
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I couldn’t agree more with this article. I have small breasts and am quite slim. Apart from a few years in high school I have never doubted the way my body was meant to be.
The follow up surgeries are also a major turn off. When I was 13 and ranting to my mum about never growing breasts I remember she joked once – ‘If you are still unhappy when you are 18 you can have surgery’.
And something else to consider – I always feel bulky with a ‘push up’ bra or overly moulded bra on. It’s hard to rock a lot of the beautiful blouses and tight jeans that are going around at the moment with larger breasts. (Which is a fashion style that I just adore – the whole androgenous look – because it suits my body and also is ‘in’ right now and can be dressed a little ‘alternatively’ )
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I’m really in two minds about all this.
I was blessed with a lovely set of C breasts. Perky and full and lovely (somewhat less so after 2 rounds of breastfeeding and recent weight loss) and I’ve ALWAYS been complemented on them. Mostly by guys who know me well enough to get away with it … but also by tons of girlfriends. Great. I guess? But I’m about a billion times more proud of surviving motherhood, my Cambridge degree, my own business and my sporting achievements. THEY are what gives me self esteem…not a “great rack”, as it has been called.
That said because I’ve been so lucky I have no idea how it must feel to have no boobs. Although I dare say I’d still choose to focus on the other fabulous things about myself rather than my chest? I’d honestly feel shallow and a tad pathetic spending money on plastic surgery. And I’d NEVER EVER be able to tell people I know – the shame….
Each to their own I guess …. but I wish women would spend a bit more time on valuing WHO they are than what they look like.
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There is no shame. I am happy to tell people. Some get it, others don’t, but I was the woman left flat chested and disfigured (yes, disfigured) after 3 kids, not them so I understand if they just can’t see it from my point of view. I am not shallow or pathetic. I am a happily married, educated mother of 3 with a B cup thanks to a wonderful surgeon. If you met me, you’d never know I’d had a boob job. Just remember, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover!
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Don’t get the breast thing- Couldn’t agree more. Everyone seems to have them and I really do not see them appeal.
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I will never have a boob job.. Not because I wouldn’t like to have larger boobs, they more often than not look great on the women I’ve seen who have it done. But because I want my daughter to grow up as happy with her body as possible, with no body image issues and I feel if got my boobs done it would be sending her the opposite message. In all honesty, out of all the people I know personally (so obviously I don’t mean anyone one this post), Every Single One of them who either have a boob job or want to have one have acknowledged self esteem issues. Interesting to note.
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I am quite insulted by your article. Have you breast fed children?
I am 30 years old and have had my implants since i was 18. At the doctors consultation I found out that my mum, aunty and grandmother all had/have implants. I was sooooo shocked. That explains why i had no glandular tissue whatsoever. As a swimmer/gymnast/runner i had no chance. I tried the Pill, i tried putting on weight, nothing increased my size. I saw many doctors, each said I had no glandular tissue at all, even my nipples were their pre-pubescent size, peas. I was teased and bullied my whole school life.
It was not the done thing to do all those years ago. But after having the operation, my confidence and self esteem increased. However, the implants were far too big for me once my swimmers shoulders returned to their normal size. So a few years later, after graduating from uni as a Registered Nurse, i did a stint in plastics and decided to have smaller ones put in. These are the ones i still have now. I continued to work for a plastic surgeon consulting girls/women before and after their surgery. I have seen all types. I do not regret getting implants, just the timing of them. I would have waited until i had had my two sons, however all my friends who have now finished having children and begging for implants and are finding it difficult to comprehend taking “time off”, no heavy lifting or driving for two weeks!
Most people i meet don’t even know i have them. They are only a B cup; very soft and natural looking.
As the saying goes “we judge in others what we judge in our selves”, may be you are jealous of these confident, busty women???
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I have never met a confident, fake-boobed woman. I think the two are mutually exclusive, despite the inevitable protestations that statement will generate. Confidence does not come from having two blobs of silicone shoved into your chest. If you think it does, you need to reassess your values.
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I’m interested in these smaller impants – a B or C cup that don’t really look like they are there… There are lots of models that are completely stunning and have a size 8 frame but breasts that are a B cup or larger…. I would love to know which models have had this done as I really do think it’s unfair to lust after a particular look in a swimsuit or whatever and be let down in the bust department! There was one particular Seafolly black bandea bikini that looked rubbish because of my A cup where as apart from bust size I was the same build as the model!
; ) Of course it’s all frivolous and fashion ; )
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I’d say that you need to get out more and expand your social circle then.
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This is an extremely rude comment. Who are you to judge other women about what they do with their bodies? Breasts are linked to femininity and for many women an important aspect of being a woman. If they are unhappy with their breasts and surgery improves this then their confidence will also improve.
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Actually, I think you are the one being rude, in addition to overly sensitive/defensive. Notice I said that ‘I have never met’… (ie I am describing my own experience) and I have encountered a huge number of women having implants in my line of work (medical). My opinion is valid, despite the fact that you may not agree with it.
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Do you think that being flat when your mum and grandma had nice big boobs made you feel inadequate or less attractive. If they hadn’t have undergone radical surgery to alter their bodies then you would’ve known that your body was normal, rather than feeling that you had to have surgery just to be ‘normal’.
That’s exactly why I think breast implants are damaging and dangerous. They normalise something that isn’t necessarily normal.
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I have always been very slim and A cup breasts and I would love to have bigger boobs and a curvy bum. The only time I had boobs was when I was breastfeeding and I must admit that I did feel confident, sexier even, with boobs. I sometimes joke with my husband that I am going to breastfeed our next child for 5 years.. Just so I can have big boobs for a while!
So as much as I can understand the attraction to having bigger boobs, I would never, ever go through surgery.. I mean, have you seen what they do? They rip the breast tissue off your rib cage to insert the implant.. Its horrendous. Its like being in a car accident.. Who would do that to themselves?
And all those girls that say “I did it for myself!” Really truly? If you were all alone on a deserted island would you still do it? I think not.
Great article.
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I’ll just copy everything you said and put my name underneath. And I mean every single point, from breast feeding for five years, to your final words of the great article – well except fit the small bum bit. I’ve got enough of that
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http://www.livescience.com/1001-breast-implants-linked-higher-suicide-rate.html
24600 women with breast implants for cosmetic purposes followed over 15 years in Canada. They suicided at a rate 73% higher than the control group.
I know that’s a heavy stat and it will probably make women with implants feel bad or different. That’s not my aim.
I’ve listened to Gen Y employees egging each other on to plastic surgery. I think that it should be regarded as an option of last resort. Vogue just ran a section on a la carte plastic surgery.
That suicide rate suggests that breast augmentation is band-aiding a much deeper wound. These girls fork out many $1000s for a procedure that doesn’t deliver the happiness expected (to all).
It’s exploitative.
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Not all girls get boobs for men, 21 years old or 35… I’m an A cup, and I can’t afford them but if I could I would get them for me. If you had a nice amount of boobage how would you know what it feels like to have almost nothing? It’s such a feminine part of the body and not having it can bring you down, I’m 25 and married with a hubby who has no issues with them but I still don’t feel as sexy as I want to. I also don’t have any other self esteem issues but I would like to be bigger in that department.
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I got my implants for me, not men. I was a very curvy young girl who lost a load of weight by the time I was 24 – so I know how it feels to have both lots of boob and no boob. The amount of people who I saw after losing weight that said to me “oh my god, what happened to your boobs” was ridiculous, and did nothing to help my self confidence.
My implants brought back my confidence, not because I wanted to attract men, but because it was something that was CONSTANTLY on my mind. And believe me, it had nothing to do with ‘everyone else’ having implants…because back then they didn’t.
The author’s attitude pisses me off. Who do you think you are to tell me what is right and wrong? I spent a lot of time researching a great surgeon, and it is my right to do what I want to my body and more importantly my self confidence. Best thing I ever did in my opinion.
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I agree – I wonder if the people making these comments also always choose their clothes for what men like, cut their hair for what men like or wear makeup in a way that men will like.
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My mother has actually said to me that if any of her children were to undergo plastic surgey for aesthetic reasons she would feel insulted. I agree with her.
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I’m SO glad there are articles like this to tell me what to do with my body …
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Don’t buy into the lie that men are only attracted to women with big breasts.
I have always had small boobs. I am healthy, eat well and exercise. I have more of an athletic body.
In my twenties I dated some of the most gorgeous guys that you can imagine (they were beautiful on the inside and out). FYI they thought I had a smokin hot body! Ha ha. Go figure?
If a guy doesn’t like you because you don’t have big knockers then he’s not worth it.
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I have no real opinion on people who get surgery, mostly because it doesn’t concern me in the slightest and i’d be lying if I said that I’d never considered surgery in the past or in the future. What does concern me are the people getting surgery for what I deem are the wrong reasons – because they think they’ll be happier, get a boyfriend, have body image issues etc
Any person who makes an informed choice should do whatever the hell they want to their own body.
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This is such an interesting topic. I’ve been thinking about it this week actually. I wear makeup and dye my hair, so how is this different to someone getting fake boobs? In my opinion, I think there’s a couple of reasons different – the first being the extremeness of the action of surgery (and follow up surgery and possible complications as mentioned by Angela). The second is that I use makeup or hair dye or the occasional fake tan to enhance my image, and I know there’s such a teensy weensy flimsy little fine line there, but I don’t use it to dramatically alter my image completely. Also, the fact that the fake boob thing (for reasons other than reconstructive, I hope everyone knows that is assumed), and I’m talking the really fake, round coconuts in your face and looking as though they’ve been stuck on someone’s chest is something that I personally just can’t see as enhancing someone’s appearance, it just seems to be making them look more like that barbie/porn star image, ie it’s changing their image to look more like some ideal or image.
I see it as the same as all those women who get botox and lip plumping and fillers to plump their cheeks or other parts of their face – too much of it and they all end up looking the same. I completely understand enhancing what you’ve got, but if you go so far that you don’t look like you anymore and you look the same as all those other women who have too much surgery – then something’s gone wrong. Why don’t you want to look like you anymore? And I feel really sad for people like that. I saw my sister last weekend, and she’s just turned into this posing person who spends the whole time looking as though she’s very conscious of how she’s sitting and acting and talking, and trying to look perfect. Her hair, her makeup, her fake nails, her (very orange) fake tan – all perfectly done. My friend, who hasn’t seen her for years was there too, and she even asked me afterwards what was going on with my sister. I don’t know, I think it could be her low self-esteem. But either way, I just feel sorry for her that all that seems to drive/interest her these days is how she looks. I suppose I do judge that a bit – I just think there’s so much more in the world to be interested in than just obsessing over your looks the whole time!
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I got my implants about 10 years ago (27 years old), they are fine. I am a tall person, and believe me I had nothing. I went from an A to a full C/D. I was and still am very happy with the outcome. When I tell people that I had them done they don’t believe it, they are soft and feel like a regular breast. They are also under the muscle which makes a difference. I do not have the half a coconut look. I have breast fed 2 babies as well. They have dropped over time but still look good. I think I needed to do not for anyone other than me. It does bring confidence. I was very bum heavy now I am more balanced, I like being able to wear clothes and fill them out, but not ridiculously so. My surgeon at the time was great. He advised not to go too big and they are totally in proportion to my body. So I am happy. Didn’t do it for a man or society but myself.
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I believe that you did it for yourself, and not for a man or anyone else. What I can’t understand is how anyone can think having fake boobs inserted is doing something good for themselves. Or why you would think this is better than your own, natural body. Those little scars signify to me ‘I don’t love myself enough and my self confidence/esteem depends on some superficial physical trait’. My mind boggles.
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because I didn’t feel good about myself, yes maybe it is vanity, and low self esteem. I didn’t feel like a woman because i didn’t think i looked like one. When you say like you have, yes it’s is pretty strange when you think about i. But people do all types of things to their bdoies internally and externally. That is it though, I wouldn’t ever do botox or have a face lift or anything else. I colour my hair about 4 times a year and wear makeup when I go out that’s about it. I do love myselkf I do feel more confident with the boods yes but I wasn’t hinging my whole life on them.
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I couldn’t agree with you more. I didn’t get breast implants for anybody except myself. Believe it or not.
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I want a reduction to a full b or small c(max).
And I will do Botox and maybe even a lift if i need it.
Does it affect anyone else? No.
So if the women are all doing it for the men, who are the lesbians doing it for?
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I’m 18, a size 8-10 and wear a size F bra. To be honest I genuinely do not understand why anyone would willingly do that to themselves. It is insanely difficult to find bras that fit properly that aren’t granny style, hard to find clothes that fit me around the bust and the rest of me whilst not flaunting my cleavage for the world to see. Added to that, the difficulty in exercising- running is a burden. I have chronic back pain and have invested $$ into physio treatments and pilates etc to strengthen my back.
The worst part is having people look at your chest before your face.
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Yes yes, a thousand times yes!!
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to be honest though, most women getting breast implants aren’t asking for F-cups. They’re mostly asking for C-D cups which don’t generally pose the problems you’ve mentioned.
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Great article! Everyday women, girls are aspiring to look like porn stars. And somehow they kid themselves to think they are “empowered”. All I see is a “poor, insecure woman/girl, a fashion victim, a pack follower”. And sorry ladies, those super high heels, platform shoes (a la Victoria Beckham) are street walker/porn star shoes – torture instruments, why you would choose to wear them I cannot comprehend.
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This whole article is similar to slut shaming; who cares what women want to do with their bodies?
Does it matter if a girl saves up for implants rather than a car? It’s comparable to any of us choosing a new wardrobe over a car or ala Sex and the City, choosing to buy fashion mags instead of buying dinner.
Yeah, it sucks that we’re brought up to think that big boobs are better (when accompanied by a skinny body) but I thought we’d reached a point where women (and men) can stand up and say that they’ve had surgery without being judged. Apparently I thought wrong.
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I care about warning other women on the dangers of this type of surgery (as well as telling them the truth about the post-surgery complications) after seeing my mothers breasts even more disfigured after ruptured implants (as well as having to have the scar tissue crushed to avoid the rock hard look) made her her post-mastectomy breasts a mess. Nothing at all like slut-shaming or saving up for a car. It’s this type of belief that makes women think the complications are rare when they aren’t – they are commonplace.
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If you want to warn people about the dangers of surgery then go for it – in fact I think there may have been an article published on MM about botched surgery a while ago.
My problem is the tone of the article (and a lot of the comments here). It’s just not appropriate to shame and ridicule women for getting a boob job.
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I don’t think the article is shaming women who do have breast implants. It’s about women who don’t consider elective cosmetic surgery to be a normal everyday thing coming to terms with the fact that breast augmentation is becoming more prevalent.
If you look at breast enlargement as a feminist issue there are loads of issues around the effect of pornography and other images on a woman’s desire to achieve physical perfection. This is a political issue for women, not only a personal one, whether you feel your own surgery was influence directly by these societal issues or not.
For me, I’m not interested in the personal level stuff as I have tattoos etc. and don’t think people should judge you for what you do to your body, but I am interested women’s surgery from a political perspective because I see a lot more positivity for women in honouring the diversity of our body shapes than trying to ‘correct’ out of proportion bodies
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I don’t think we should be viewing it as a normal everyday thing and to be honest, I don’t think it is. From what I understand, most people spend months to years researching their decision so they don’t consider it normal or every day either. I think the rise in plastic surgery has to do a lot with our ability to afford it. Like designer labels, boob jobs are no longer limited to just the wealthy.
My view on feminism is that we should be able to do what we want with ourselves and our lives without judgement. Absolutely, the media and pornography are major feminist issues and we should be questioning them, but the article and comments came across as condescending to anyone who have had implants (but not those who have masectomies, apparently they’re OK).
However. I’m not sure what you mean by a political issue. Do you mean we should be lobbying for restrictions on the media/plastic surgeons/other?
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Thanks Lou,
Nahh I meant it’s a ‘political issue’ from a more philosophical perspective. I’m interested in ideas and I think the idea that women’s breasts should be a certain way to be more feminine is a curious assertion.
I’m not interested in banning surgeries or campaigning against this kind of thing, just musing about the ideas that underpin altering ones breasts.
Totally agree that generalisations about people who have had surgery are unfair- of course most if not all were well informed and considered in their decisions.
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‘Boys may bang on about boobs but men – good men – don’t care.’ More than don’t care, I love the diversity of nature; A cup or D cup, if you can hold my attention with your personality I’m going to be interested. I’ve never been one to use breast size as a measure of attractiveness. Personally, I think the old adage ‘size doesn’t matter’ applies more to boobs than to penises.
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That just put the biggest smile on my face – especially because I’ve found a man that feels the same as you and I have never felt more beautiful or comfortable with who I am
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You can have the biggest, shiniest boobs in the world, and still be a twit. Doesn’t matter how much putty, silicone and anti freeze you inject, or paste over your face, if you aren’t a nice person, it doesn’t matter.
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And you can also have the biggest, shiniest bobs in the world and be very intelligent. You can have a great personality and would also have the right to tell everyone else to mind their own business when commenting or passing judgement on you boobs.
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” As author Caitlin Moran writes, “Are the men doing it?” Men aren’t bolstering their penises with banana-shaped implants, so why are we butchering our beautiful breasts and stuffing them full of sofa-grade silicone?”
What’s this? Blame the men, what a rarity.
How about that men are in record numbers undergoing expensive and painful hair transplant surgery to enhance their attractiveness to a potential mate in accordance with biological imperatives?
What about that many men are taking dangerous steroids and fat burning supplements in order to build muscle and shed fat in order to look good to enhance their attractiveness to a potential mate in accordance with biological imperatives?
How about that just maybe women with larger breasts are more attractive to men and men with hair, abs and arms are more attractive to females and we all want to feel attractive and have an attractive partner?
Nah – male driven porn conspiracy oppression.
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“What’s this? Blame the men, what a rarity.”
What’s this? Poor reading skills, what a rarity.
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I think it works the same both ways- women don’t necessarily care if men are bald/overweight/hairy-backed/whatever just as men don’t necessarily care if women have giant boobies. From what I’ve experienced (and I know my opinion doesn’t count for much but the consensus among plenty other women I know is the same), men are happy to just be near naked boobs of any kind!
It is probably more mens own insecurities driving them to seek the hair treatments etc than actual expecations from women. Look at Jason Statham- he is losing his hair and I think he has a pretty sexy noggin regardless! I’d be upset if he grew it back! Same with my boyfriend, he is losing his hair on his head yet has plenty body hair, has “chicken legs” and doesn’t really have big arms but I still think he is the most gorgeous thing on the planet. I tell him all the time he is perfect as he is and would never encourage him to alter himself.
Love yourself for who you are, male or female or neither or both. If surgery will make you feel better FOR YOU then go for gold. Be happy. If it’s for anyone else, forget it.
PS I agree with Lulu below- the article did not “blame the men”, it simply pointed out that men are, for the most part, more comfortable with their bodies than women are.
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What about that photographer dude who was on reality show, you know, the guy with the fake abs?
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A lot of women below are commenting “their body, their choice, why does it matter?” It matters because the more it happens, the more that it becomes the normalised standard.
Originally, most women didn’t even wear make up or shave. Then everyone started wearing make up. Then everyone started dying their hair. Then eveyone started getting brazilians. Now people are getting botox. More people are getting breast implants.
If I didn’t shave my legs I’d look like i was making a statement – like I am a crazy feminazi (I say this fasiciously). If I didn’t dye my prematurely grey hair I’d look like I was just letting myself go. All these beauty regime are abnormal cultural adjustments we make in the name of beauty – and they are now considered normal.
Every time a woman has a boob job for cosmetic reasons, they make boob jobs more normal. Couple that with our culture of air brushing and porn, and increasingly big, impossibly perky breasts are becoming not just normal, but expected.
I’m terrified that one day boob jobs will be like dyed hair or botox – not unusual for a woman ‘taking care’ of her appearance.
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Love love love this comment!
It is so true that the ‘personal is political’ when it influences social norms.
Making all these physical adjustments ‘normal’ means that in the future, resisting them, will be akin to making a big statement.
Imagine the furore for women who don’t shave under their arms! People think it’s disgusting when it is actually our natural state.
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If people think you’re a crazy feminazi because you don’t shave your legs, then that’s their problem, not yours. You don’t have to follow the pack. Don’t shave your legs unless you want to. Shave them if you want. Get a boob job if want, don’t if you don’t want to. It’s your life, live it for you, not society.
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Get a boob job, if you want to… but then if it goes wrong who pays the price? I mean yes ultimately the woman who made the choice, but I would be interested to know when the financial cost becomes societies. Apparently after the french breast implants issue, there was a call for the government to pay for those women to have them removed!!! OH Dear, why would we do that? you chose to put them in, you can pay to have them removed!!! Urghh… and yes, if I had my way smokers would be liable for a higher medicare levy… Now how controversial is THAT!!
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That’s actually a very good point. While I truly believe everyone should be able to look the way they want to without being judged, I am concerned about the government having to pay for corrective surgery if it goes wrong. My gut reaction is to say removal should be paid for personally (you take the risk when you first get them), and to be honest I feel the same way about smoking..
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That shaving your legs thing is my constant issue. I would love love love to be more relaxed about leg hair but really I don’t want to gross people out at yoga.
I love to look nicely but really the amount of days that I manage to combine shaved legs with good hair and light makeup is probably one in ten!
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Katie, consider laser.
Best thing Ever. I’m midway through and shave once a week if that.
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I think the issue with the PIP implant scandal is that the TGA approved the implants for use in human beings. The whole point of having a TGA is to regulate drugs and medical devices. The claim that the government should pay for the removal of these implants is that they APPROVED the use of them in the first place!!!!
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So with u on the smokers levy!
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Yes, it’s now increasingly “normal” for thin women to have large breasts. Although it’s quite rare in nature for a woman with a very small percentage of body fat and/or small hips and/or small bum to have ample bosom, suddenly that is the “ideal” body shape.
Being naturally thin and getting implants is one thing (and if done tastefully, looks almost natural) but women who diet/work/operate off almost all of their body fat and then get breast implants are further creating a warped image of what a woman should look like in our society.
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Thanks, interesting comment. You articulated very well what’s been bothering me about that side of the argument. I get that it’s ‘my body, my choice’. Yeah, I support that. But it seems so wrong that we see cosmetic surgery as the right choice. That it’s pretty common these days. That it’s maintenance.
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I dont really care about whether or not a woman has plastic surgery. If it makes her feel good thats great for her. I do struggle with the message though, women who have surgery are sending their kids if they are mothers. How can a woman tell her daughter she is beautiful and wonderful if she has changed so much about her own appearance, an appearance that her daughter likely resembles. I think this is a real issue because plastic surgery is so suburban these days. When mum has had breast implants, a nose job and other plastic surgery how does she deal with her kids insecurities about their appearance when she has had her own imperfections removed?
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This bothers me too. My sister in law got her boobs done last year, she went from probably a B cup, which suited her very slender frame, to a DD cup and she looks ridiculous… all well and good for her (though I cannot fathom why she did it), but I struggle with her kids watching her do it all, especially her 2 oldest kids, a 9 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. Not great messages for either of them, and why she would risk her life with a totally unneccersarry operation is beyond me too!
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That’s what i always wonder too…how on earth does a mother explain to her children why she decided to have sacs of saltwater or liquid plastic inserted under her skin…??It’s a truly bizarre thing if you look at it from that angle…
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Whilst I am certain that everyone is entitled to look however they choose (been pierced and tattooed myself), the seemingly sudden preponderance of breast implants blows me away… but it’s not just the implants. It’s the eyelash extensions, the lips, the botox, the spray tan – like there are all these (often young) women think that looking like you are going for a part in The Only Way Is Essex is normal. It makes me sad. Sure, play up what you have, make yourself feel beautiful… I just wish it didn’t involve making yourself look like Barbie. Yes, I know. That’s my opinion. Everyone has the right to look as they choose… it just breaks my heart that some women think the only way they can be beautiful is to inject, extend and have sugery
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Each to their own I say. I’ll admit due to a funky hormone related thing a few months back I temporarily grew some actual boobs as opposed to the A cup I generally sport and it was bloody lovely. Would I get fake ones to feel the same? If I had the spare cash, dunno, possibly. Be nice to fill a bra.
On the flipside, I worked with a girl who got a loan for her boobs. On her 18th birthday. True story. Now this girl is great, funny, attractive, outgoing, her boyfriend at the time was anti it. We were telling her that her body is probably still working itself out and she should just wait a bit. Her Mum tried to put her off it but at the end of the day, she was an adult and could get the cash loaned to her, so really, we were all just white noise. She still went ahead.
I worked with her until she was 23 and she recently told me she regretted getting them so young. Wished a) she’d waited and b) she hadn’t taken out a loan as she was still paying them off.
My first bank loan was for a shitty Mazda 121, now these girls are going into debt for a set of knockers. That to me is more of an issue.
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my first car was a mazda 121… i still miss it!
Did she have to tell the bank what it was for? I’ve never taken out a loan so have no idea how it all works…
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I do judge girls who get unnecessary plastic surgery of any kind.
I see them as weak, shallow, and not intelligent, no matter how many degrees they can throw at me.
Weak – because you aren’t strong enough to live in the body you were born with.
Shallow – because looks are obviously important enough for you to spend a hell of a lot of money and take on the risk of surgery.
Not smart – because you can’t see the value in diversity, and instead want to hide in the ‘norm’.
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How do women react when you ask them about their surgery? Because you can’t tell by looking at them whether it was necessary or not, or even if they’ve had it in many cases.
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I never ask anyone about plastic surgery. It’s none of my business – but in my head, I usually do judge the women who I know have had it done. If I can’t tell they’ve had it, and they don’t tell me, then I don’t have the opportunity to judge! (probably a good thing).
If someone asked me my opinion BEFORE they had their surgery, I might say some of those things above
If someone asked me my opinion AFTER they had their surgery, I probably wouldn’t say any of those things. What’s the point? They’ve already made their choice and gone and done it. Saying anything to them would only hurt them.
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Geez, Judgey McJudgey.
Glad you’re not generalising there Karen. I wonder though, if Cindy down the street gets a mole removed from her face because she’s been laughed at her whole life, would you still think her weak, shallow and not smart? I mean, this isn’t necessary. She won’t die if she doesn’t have it removed. But it will make HER feel better.
It’s the old adage, until you’ve walked a mile etc. Please try and be more understanding and less judgmental about stuff that doesn’t directly effect you, you’d be surprised how cool it can be.
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Yes I judge, and I bet you do too, even though you seem to be implying that you don’t.
Also, everything in life is a spectrum… which is difficult for pedants, I know.
And finally, yes, I have walked in the shoes of people with a physical deformity – so according to your ‘adage’ I get to put my judgey hat on!
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You are completely correct, I do judge people. Although never about people’s decisions they make about their own bodies. Because it’s none of my business. If they choose to smoke when pregnant, yep, I’ll judge the shit out of them, because they are harming another person.
The point I was trying to make Karen is that if someone decides that they want Size DD norks, they haven’t arrived at this conclusion on a whim. Nor does it make them spectacularly shallow or stupid. The way I see it, It effects them and only them. Not you, the observer, so why do you care and judge so harshly?
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Why do I care and judge these people?
Well, in my opinion, plastic surgery and other similar techniques attempt to homogenise peoples looks, damaging diversity, which I think is a valuable part of the human experience
Every person who chooses to homogenise themselves, strikes another blow against all the people who are strong enough to try and live as they are, making them more and more a ‘minority’, making them seem ‘abnormal’, when actually they are just natural.
The actions of these people, and the plastic surgery industry as a whole, are not undertaken in a vacuum.These actions are affecting many women, and their feelings about their own bodies.
By getting plastic surgery, these people are saying “this is broken or ugly or wrong”, which I think is a damaging and hurtful message to send to the many women who probably have the exact same physical attribute.
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I like your response Karenagain. Articulate and well thought out without gettting defensive. In fact I like this discussion between you and Bernadette. Very thought provoking.
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I agree, good debate ladies
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Thanks ladies – it’s a tough topic.
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Wow, you are incredibly judgmental!!
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I love you! Soo funny, and true
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Look, I don’t judge those that want to have implants but it is saddening that so many women think their self esteem will improve with them.. sure it may.. a however very surface superfical self esteem. To say it will help self esteem have obviously never known suffering (or at least didn’t gain any enlightenment or true deep wholeness from it).. lost their body due to health.. gained their bodies back from the shadows of illness…
It’s sad that we live in this society that most of us can’t gain true perspective on what life is all about. but as the saying goes, you can’t push the river.. we all gain wisdom at different times and to different levels
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Yep, just yesterday a friend with large obvious fake breasts posted a photo of just her beautiful face on Facebook and one of our mutual male friends commented “you left out your best assets”
That’s just f**king rude. My opinion of him has diminished.
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I’ve already composed a little speech for my daughters on beauty and plastic surgery.
I think that trying to stop girls competing to be the most attractive might be a futile exercise, but I hope to influence them on what they choose to compete with.
My talk will centre around fostering a realisation that their brains and personality will be their only enduring point of difference romantically and professionally.
There are many, many beautiful women in this world with smokin’ hot bods and their ranks will continually be refreshed by younger women who are eager to rely upon their bods and looks to make their way in the world. This reliance on looks is kind of a hothouse flower mentality, you may bloom quickly and spectacularly but flowers are seasonal and will wilt.
Girls who build a life solely on their looks, have really built nothing for themselves as their relationship and profession all rests on other people’s regard, not internal capability.
Other people’s regard for your looks is a damned unfirm and fickle foundation and you girls are going to need better sources for self-esteem to lead a happy life.
My take on fake boobs (obviously not part of speech to my girls) – I wouldn’t kick you out of bed but it’s not my preference.
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Bravo, great response, your daughters are very lucky to have you.
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Sooooo true, hope they listen. If okay with you, I’ll borrow the speech.
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Thanks. Sure.
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Now that is a sexy mind. No fake anything required.
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