Rosie Waterland would prefer a c-section over a natural birth
I once had a boyfriend who told me he thought I’d be less of a woman if I didn’t give birth ‘naturally’.
Of course, this was the same boyfriend who literally threw up a little the one time in our two-year relationship I dared to fart in his presence, so in hindsight he had some serious issues when it came to his ideas about women.
I was telling him one day about my sister’s experience with childbirth. She went through such excruciating pain during her labour that she still maintains with all seriousness that if someone hadn’t been in the room with her the entire time she would have jumped out the third-story window.
I then went on to tell him that when I eventually get pregnant, I have a genius c-section/tummy-tuck plan that involves waking up with a gunk-free baby in a fluffy blanket sleeping peacefully next to me. Brilliant, no? I waited for him to applaud my practical approach to childbirth. He would never want the woman he loves to be in so much physical pain that she would jump out a third-story window. Right?
My birth plan: a c-section
Unfortunately, the applause never came. Instead, there was some nervous laughter, followed by something along the lines of, ‘but obviously you want to go through it, right? I mean, jokes aside Rosie, it’s important for a woman to experience birth the proper way…’
He laughed, thinking I was kidding. I laughed, thinking he was kidding. Then as it slowly dawned on each of us that the other was dead serious, we managed to say an awkward ‘wait… what?’ in unison before a very tense silence took hold of the room.
Needless to say, we’re no longer together. But it did plant a nagging seed in my mind that I still find difficult to get rid of. Am I the only one? The only woman with no qualms about planning a c-section in order to avoid pain and keep my lady parts intact
Is anyone else just not interested in pushing a baby out of their vagina?
My ex-boyfriend isn’t alone; I’ve had both male and female friends react strongly when I’ve told them my future c-section plan. To me (well for me), it’s an absolute no-brainer. We no longer expect some poor chump to bite down on a leather strap and be brave while we amputate one of his limbs – so why do we still expect a woman to go through even worse agony to have a child? The hyperbolic rants I go on when I knock my elbow should be some indication of how I handle pain. Not well, evidently. I can’t imagine myself in the throes of baby delivering.
I think my birthing anxiety stems back to a book my mum left on the bottom shelf when I was in kindergarten. It was for expectant mothers and had lots of extremely graphic pictures of women with ’80s haircuts and twisted faces pushing out babies. And did I mention graphic?
All I knew was this thing I currently identified as a ‘wee-wee’ was eventually going to be ripped apart while I lay with my legs in the air on some bed of excrutiating pain.
I’m guessing that’s the reason I’ve never associated childbirth as some kind of romantic female rite of passage. But don’t get me wrong; I absolutely respect the women who do want to give birth the old-fashioned way. In fact, I think any woman who gives it a go deserves some kind of prize (I know the baby should be prize enough and blah blah blah, but I’m thinking more an ASOS voucher).
In fact, any woman who gives birth in any kind of way deserves a prize (let’s not forget the residual pain of a c-section that many women love to remind me about); even those lottery-winning ladies of legend who orgasm during childbirth had to carry the baby around for nine months.
I guess the trick lies in finding a partner who has the same push values as you do. Because no matter what way a woman decides to remove an entire person from her body, that decision should be accepted with the utmost respect and enthusiasm (and absolutely no comment on your perceived notion of her level of ‘womanhood’).
I may not get the appeal of pushing; you may not get the appeal of having a massive gash healing across one’s stomach for months just to avoid labour. Does it matter? Everyone has a thousand sleepless nights and nappies to look forward to, so what’s the difference really?
Isn’t it just the baby that counts in the end? I’m keen to hear your view.
Rosie Waterland is a writer based in Sydney. She finds her own jokes particularly hilarious. Follow her blog at http://rosiewaterland.wordpress.com/ or twitter: @rosiewaterland
Comments
341 Comments so far
There is a recognised psychological disorder called tokiophobia – women who have a morbid fear of childbirth and will often ask for a caesarean because of that fear – see here from the BBC yesterday -” Are women with a fear of childbirth being supported?”
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20348463
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I totally get why childbirth seems a scary prospect for you, but it was more the tone of the writing that irritates me. I’ve had 3 natural births, and at no point did I ever feel that my “lady parts” were being ripped apart. Sure it’s not pleasant, but the epidural sure helps. No stitches required for my 2nd two, and I can say with complete confidence that I don’t feel different down there, and there are certainly no complaints coming from my husband! Every pregnancy is different, every woman is different, please don’t base your ideas of what’s involved in childbirth without doing some serious research. C-sections are major abdominal surgery and as with a natural delivery, they are not all the same in terms of recovery. A friend of mine had one in March and now requires more surgery on her scar, as she was stitched up over a major nerve which has left her in severe pain. There is no guarantee in childbirth, no matter how it happens, what is important is a healthy mother and child.
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I think your missing the point of this article, completely! It’s about the right to choose and what HER (not urs or the worlds) choice is and how that (choice) doesn’t make you less of a woman, like her STUPID ex boyfriend told her.
So if you don’t like the ‘tone’ and think she should do some “serious research” then your totally missing the POINT of the article and need to give birth to a sense of humour. Or maybe just re-read? As there are horror stories about natural birth swell as sections, no two out way the other and no one should be judged for prefer one over the other: MY body MY decision!
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Rosie, do some research! Tip: read Dr Sarah Buckley’s book Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering.
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It’s not suppose to be a factual expose, just a hilarious personal story of the stupidity of her ex and what SHE (not the world) feels about giving birth.
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I think the decision whether to have a c-section or not is entirely up to the individual, and I have no problem with anything you’ve said in that regard. I do have a problem with the assumption in this article that women who have children are somehow better than those who don’t. Anyone who has a baby deserves a prize? That’s a great message. A friend of mine became pregnant while we were in school and was completely not equipped to raise a child. Does she deserve a prize for forgetting to bring a condom? While I totally respect that giving birth is an impressive feat, not to mention the actual child-rearing, I think comments like “I think any woman who gives it a go deserves some kind of prize” sends a bad message to women, a message that their value as an individual is increased by them having a child.
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Some great comments here. Every women is different and everyone handles pain differently too. When I had a copper IUD put in, I went into full shock, shaking so hard I was practically rattling. And every month, I have to be loaded up on codeine and bite down on something to stop myself screaming with period pain. Childbirth inevitably will have to involve an epidural / unconsciousness – voluntarily or involuntarily! Rosie, your ex boyfriend’s comments were naive and out of line. It’s a type of pain they don’t understand. And as we all know, how you have your child is not always a matter of choice, but a matter of what is safest – often, a C is simply necessary.
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Agreed. Totally agreed. I’m sick of preachy mothers – just be thankful the baby arrives safely and healthily and everyone is happy.
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I’ve had there vaginal births, the first induced, fearful, failed epidural, stitches… Everything we’re told birth is. I knew there had to be a better way and number two was so easy she was actually born in the car by my own two hands en route to hospital. Amazing. number three was a controlled fast birth (ie 3 hours) in a birth centre. I never wanted pain relief. I had no stitches from the last 2.
I strongly advocate a doula or other birth partner. Many horror stories revolve around health practitioners over medicalising and leaving women scared and fending for themselves.
I am all for choice but society presents a false choice, the benefits to bub’s breathing from being pushed, the benefits to being colonised by mum’s gut flora…the feeling of euphoria from natural birth- these shouldn’t be given up lightly.
Thank goodness we have these amazing interventions which are.often life saving, but let’s provide more support for mums both in natural birth and post traumatic births so noone feels like a failure.
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What makes me sad is that we’re actually having a combative conversation about what other people choose to do with their bodies. I had two ‘natural’ births and I breastfed both because that was my choice/option. What other people do is up to them. I have an opinion but I choose to keep it to myself and not judge others for their choice because I DON’T KNOW THEM. Whether we are talking about losing virginity, birth control, abortion, whether dressing a certain way means we’re asking to be raped, birth options, feeding, schooling whatever we will never have real choice until we stop judging each other.
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I personally wouldn’t choose to be possibly incapable of holding my child for who-knows how long. I would not choose major abdominal surgery with a minimum 6 week recovery period. Sorry, but that’s just me.
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I know you are a bit late to the party and haven’t read many of the comments but check your facts. Most women that have a c section have an epi, (for emergency), or a spinal, (for elective). Unless you opt for a general you should be able to hold your baby almost straight away. And 6 weeks recovery is extremely liberal. The bikini line cut damages far less muscles than the previous incision which was in the belly itself. It is major surgery, but for many people, maybe even the majority, the recovery is far less than that. I was up and around within 8 hours for both. I didn’t need painkillers.
Go natural or elect for a c section, (if you get the choice), it’s up to you. Just don’t judge others for their birthing choices, it’s none of your business.
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Minimum six week recovery period? What kind of anti-C propaganda have you been drip-fed? I needed to choose C-sections for both my births, and both times I was told to expect difficulty for up to two weeks. As it happened I was about and capable of doing all I needed as a brand new mum within half a day, and three days for my second.
You need to confront whoever told you your ‘facts’ because they’re seriously misguided.
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I’m a home birth advocate, but let me be clear – that’s about choice in birth, not birth type or birth anything. I love that we have a choice in birthing options c sections, drugs, natural / whatever that means.
I love that our babies and us are healthier and live longer because of it.
What I don’t understand is women’s clinical view of our bodies. I don’t understand the need for anti aging vs relishing life, experience and wisdom and I don’t understand the desire to avoid the ‘messiness’ of birth. Avoiding the pain – that I get. But if the option was there, beyond medical need, I would encourage the feelings of childbirth. It’s the journey not just the destination. But hey, beyond all, I love that we have the choice!
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I’ve had 2 the natural way with panadiene and hot water bottles. My lady bits are fine, only needed 2 stitches both times. I found birth more annoying than painful and the whole screaming thing if I remember correctly was more down to the effort your putting I to pushing than due to actual pain. My lady bits are fine. I’ve never had a pee-when-I-sneeze incident. I would never choose to have such a massive operation if I didn’t need to. Seriously, it isn’t that bad. The gas is AWESOME. Movies have a lot to answer for. but, each to their own.
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It is NOBODY’s BUSINESS how you give birth. NEVER offer advice over caesarian versus vaginal birth, and if you insist on doing so be aware that everyone knows you are only flapping your own gums to hear the wind, because nobody ever takes advice from others on something so absolutely private and important. The stupid and the sanctimonious have already been told, repeatedly, why people have caesarians, and it is almost never for convenience, as we all very well know. If they have chosen to ignore that in favour of their own beliefs, however ill educated, you will never budge them anyway. Ignoring them completely and absolutely refusing to enter into any kind of debate with them is the only way to shut them down effectively.
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I’ve popped out 2 naturally and one via c-section! And no it does not make you feel like a woman when your lady parts are being torn apart why put your self through more pain for a silly misconception
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I’ve had 1 of each. Emergency C first time round and then vaginal 2nd time around, tho on the operating table with me arguing with the OB as I was determined to do it the ‘normal’ way. He was afraid of my scar tearing. Fortunately I won. There really is no ‘normal’ way to give birth as everybody is different. The object of the game is to hopefully have a gorgeous, full formed, healthy child to take home. It’s about being flexible and not being dogged one way or the other as inevitably when it comes to the pointy end of the pregnancy, sometimes we change our mind. It’s like breast feeding. Do what works for you and your body, then everybody’s happy.
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being a woman makes you a woman
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I’ve had a vaginal and a ceasar. Totally hated my ceasar, I thought it was the most unnatural way to give birth and would choose natural any day. I actually also take offense to the heading of this story – using a offensive comment to grab attention of readers regardless of where it has come from or who said it is just not cool with me and it set the tone for the rest of your story which I also felt was mildly insulting. ‘the old fashioned way’ WTF? Pushing a baby out of your vagina is the universes way of saying ‘babies are not all sunshine and rainbows, babies and the associated crying, poo, spew, sleep deprivation, rashes, snot and forever after is damn hard work and this is just the start so man up’
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So…you take offence to the title but then similarly call c-sections ‘the most unnatural way to give birth’? That’s similarly offensive.
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I had two planned c-cetions, never entertained the idea of having a natural birth and i dont regret a thing. I had only minor discomfort for a couple of days after the birth then nothing!! My scar has nearly faded now, only 20 months after my youngest was born. I loved my experience and wouldnt change anything for the world.
I dont feel like any less of a woman, I think people need to realise medical science has progressed a long way and now we have a choice!
Seems like a no brainer to me!
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I have had two c-sections. One emergency, the other planned. With my first baby I tried everything to have a natural birth. I took homeopathic remedies into the hospital with me, I had hypnotherapy to help with the labour, I used a TENS machine, I tried everything. I even avoided any drugs for pain relief for the first 21 hours of labour. But in the end I was in labour for 36 hours, including an hour of pushing AND being hooked up to syntosin the entire time, which is suppose to bring on labour faster, before the Dr’s decided that my baby wasn’t going to come out on his own. When he was born via emergency c-section he weighed 4.7 kgs (10 pounds 3 ounces), which was huge for my small 163cm frame. The Dr’s said had I managed to get his head out they would have most likely had to break or dislocate his shoulders to get the rest of him out.
With my second birth I was adamant that I was going to try for a vaginal delivery, however as the weeks went by and my second baby was showing to be a good 4-5 weeks larger than he should have been I made the difficult decision to have another c-section. I didn’t want to go through the experience of another long, complicated labour only to end up with another c-section because of his size.
Do I regret them? No. I had no choice with my first baby and most likely had I tried a natural delivery with the second I would have ended up with another c-section anyway. Do I wish I could have given birth vaginally? Absolutely. The recovery is longer, second time around it also means you can’t do a lot of things with your older children, and yes, there’s an element of it feeling clinical more than natural. C-sections also bring with them a host of feelings of guilt, failure, physical pain, longer recovery and an increased risk of PND. For me though the most important thing was that my babies were born safely, regardless of how they were born. Does it make me less of a woman? Try saying that to a woman in labour and see her reaction!! The only thing less than a woman is a man (or woman) who thinks that giving birth via c-section makes you less of a woman!
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I have had 2 natural births, and seriously after the first, i almost elected to go for a section for the second one, the tears, the haemorrhoids, the popped stitches left me with a very sensitive peri for quite some time! Sex (and bladder control) certainly has never been the same. So if you want to ensure your lady ‘bits’ remain intact then go the section!
that said, there is something very satisfying about delivering naturally.
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As everyone is saying, it’s about choice, but don’t forget that a c-section is a surgical procedure and they always involve risk. I have had a few operations for other things such as getting broken bones pinned, and I personally would avoid an unecessary operation wherever possible! I haven’t had kids yet, but are you allowed to opt for a cesarian? Or does the obstetrician have to recommend it? But if you’re worried about pain, why not just have an epidural? I’ve had one of them before too, and I woke up vomiting for a day after the operation. So I’d rather not have one of those either. But who knows what I’ll think when the time finally comes!
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Rosie, I completely understand your fear of vaginal delivery xxx. When I was pregnant, it was something that absolutely terrified me. It does not help that you start hearing birthing horror stories from an early age, even the way birth is portrayed in film. I also agree with some of the comments here that describing it as being “ripped apart” etc is not at all helpful and not at all my experience. I had a relatively long labour, vacuum extraction, episiotomy and yes I did end up having an epidural. However, it was nothing like the birth horror stories I’d heard, no I wouldn’t say I was having fun but it was fine- nothing I couldn’t cope with. I kept thinking when is the horror going to start and then my baby came out. I think that everyone focuses so much on childbirth and telling horror stories to young women that they are all completely terrified to give birth. Its almost like women today focus too much on birth plans and what “could” go wrong. In my experience, the birth is over relatively quickly, the scary part is that you now have a human being that you will worry about until you die- you will never be carefree again! I think we all need to calm down about the birth part people and stop scaring the shit out of young women!
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I have given birth twice. While both were vaginal births, they were both completely different! My first child was stillborn at 29 weeks after her heart had unexplainably stopped beating in utero. I was extremely medicated during the birth, not so much for the pain but for my mind. The labour and delivery of my little girl went very smoothly considering the situation and in the end I was so thankful that I could have that ‘normal’ delivery with my precious girl.
A few months later I surprisingly fell pregnant and of course was petrified I would lose this baby too. I thought back and forth about whether or not I wanted to have a natural delivery or c-section. In my mind the c-section was the ‘safer’ option – eliminate the risk of something going wrong during labour.. But in the end I wanted that natural delivery, this time with a healthy living child. I wanted that prize at the end of all that hard, physical work. Thankfully, I carried my son to term and he was born healthy after my labour was induced at 38 wks. Quick and with no pain medication and only 2 stitches – it was a wonderful experience.
I think how women choose to give birth is 100% their choice. They should not be made to feel guilty or bad about what they want. Who knows what the motivation is behind their decision is? Like most people have said the main thing is that baby and mother come through it healthy and safe. Speaking personally, the pain of giving birth is something I feel priveleged to be able to experience. Yes, sometimes it can be an awful experience, with complications, and can be very scary. But for the most part, it is truly wonderful and special. I am not anti c-section, I believe you need to do what is medically best for you, but as someone else said, this is what we were made to do! I do not handle pain well at all but strangely enough, labour was not as bad as I thought it would be. I guess in comparison to grieving for my little girl, labour is a walk in the park. Maybe if things had gone differently with my first pregnancy I would feel differently?
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My first baby I had an emergency c-section, his heart rate was dropping so I was whisked off to theatre and 27 minutes later he was born! It was amazing! The next day I was up, showered myself and even went for a walk around the block. Recovered unbelievably well, that when I fell pregnant 4 months later, I told my obstruction I’d be having a c-section again. And just as well, he was huge, over 4kgs. Didn’t recover as well that time, due to pregnancys being so close.
My biggest gripe is women who say they went through labour without pain relief- well big fizz, it doesn’t make you any more a woman than I am.
At the end of the day, we just hope for a healthy, happy baby, don’t we?
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After 4 years of IVF I was finally blessed with my son. A healthy beautiful baby. Did I have a vaginal birth or c-section? Who cares! The point is I had him!
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Congrats Simone and I bet he’s gorgeous !
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Agree completely – the point is to have a healthy baby and healthy mum does not matter whether natural or C! I have 2 IVF babies first C section due to complications 2nd emergency c-section and the birth is irrelevant once bub is here as long as you are both ok
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Loved this article. Loved the tone – and it echoes the thoughts I’ve previously had myself. I also get a bit over women being so precious about childbirth and babies. I know it’s the most sacred and precious thing, but surely we can still take a lighter tone about it without everyone flipping out? Articles like this are refreshing.
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This story was always going to receive passionate responses.
In the end, I feel, you can only comment on your own birth experiences and outcomes and it will never be the same journey as the person next to you.
I had terrible experiences and awful problems similar to some stories I have read in the comments but prior to having my babies I worked in a school and heard many birth stories (from horrors to only 20 minute labors) so thought I was ready but I think maybe you never are?
It’s only your business Rosie how your bring your baby into this world and I think while your partner can support you it comes down to you so good luck.
Many will have an opinion and tell you how you ‘should’ do it but hey they will also on feeding and nappies and sleeping and weaning and and and …… this is just the first.
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I had a horror first birth – not the pain of it (some pain but I didn’t find it too bad) – but the length of labour (3days); the complications during labour; the interventions; the distressed baby; the fear of everything being out of my control; etc. – that make my labour a horror (not the pain).
My son was born vaginally but with forceps after a very long labour – I was exhausted; I haemorraged; I required a blood transfusion; I had a third degree tear. BUT fortunately I never had the c-section- that was something I feared. My recovery physically from the birth was quicker than friends who had c-sections (the recovery from the haemorrage was the worst).
Second baby also born vaginally but with NO interventions – much better, I still tore, but he was a bigger bub!
Yes there is some pain with child birth but personally I never found it that bad. The expectation of pain never stressed me, it was all the intervention and distressed bub that worried me. I found following the calm birth program helped me – helped me keep a level head when all started to come unstuck during my first labour.
Your labour experience is part of your journey to motherhood/parenthood. I agree with the suggestion of someone below – read, be educated on options. Do what is best for you, but don’t fear a natural childbirth as your experience will be different to everyone else.
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I’m a mum of 4 , 3 naturally and 1 c section, I agree with you Del, let’s not scare the next mums to be, and yes let’s lose the term ‘old fashioned’ , what a stupid way to refer to the birthing process. I think if the way your baby comes into the world is more important than mother and baby’s health / life , your really not ready to have a baby.
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It took me a long time to work up the courage to become pregnant. Fear of giving birth was a big part of it. In the end I elected to have a natural birth because I believe it to be much better for the baby to be born in the traditional way with no drugs in its tiny body. I had a very normal birth and despite second degree tearing I have to say it was no where near as horrific as I expected! Yes there was pain, it is childbirth but through most of the labor you get little breaks in between contractions and once you get to transition and crowning you are so focused that you just cope with it. Also I was amazed how quickly your body recovers from natural birth. So don’t sweat it too much it might be loads easier than you think!
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Thanks for sharing Nikki, I am having a similar experience/thoughts and this helped. I want to have a natural birth but the apprehension of it is scaring me from falling pregnant. I am 29, about to get married and the boy doesn’t want to wait too long!
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I will totally be having an elective c-section for my second child – no doubt about it!
Every labour is different and so is each recovery from birth.
I had a HORRENDOUS labour! My epidural which I asked for after 36 hours of labour (yes – 36 hours!!) didn’t work!!! I could feel everything on my right handside.
Then after pushing for 3 hours I begged, pleaded with the doctor to please, please give me an episiotomy because there was no way my baby was going to come out without help… after pushing for 3 hours and feeling more exhausted than I ever, ever have it was very apparent that I wouldn’t get this baby out just by mere pushing. (When they measured the head she was in the 98th percentile!!!)
Then even after having an episiotomy I still had a 3rd degree tear.
Whilst being stitched up I could feel everything because as I said before the epidural DID NOT work (no one believed me when I said that I could feel it all – but then when they were stitching me up I nearly flew off the bed in pain… then they believed me).
Then 4 days later my stitches burst open from infection. So then I had to leave my tear and episotomy cut to heal naturally…. that took 6 months!! 2 years later my scars are still incredibly sore and there is no way on earth I will ever have another baby naturally.
My attachment to my daughter was affected, I couldn’t sit comfortably, getting up from sitting was painful for months and I was fearful about ripping my scar open again.
C-section for me please!!
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Just reading this makes me cringe. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
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People will always have an opinion on the way you want to give birth. I wanted mine as natural as possible, and had three vaginal births with no drugs. I was constantly told I was a crazy person and why would I put myself through that (not in a joking or friendly teasing way either). Yes, it’s painful. But it was right for me. I know others who were epidural all the way, right from when they found out they were pregnant, and more power to them – if you don’t want pain, you don’t have to, so why not. They were told they should try to tough it out and see how they go by others, as if epidural was the easy way out. I know others who had planned c-sections for various reasons and were ridiculed for it. So it seems natural, bagunal with drugs, or c-section, none of them are the ‘right’ choice if you’re relying on the opinions of others. None of us are immune to the ‘why would you…’ comments.
My opinion? If your doctor agrees its safe and you have a healthy baby at the end, you do it however you want. Other peoples opinions be damned.
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Interesting article I enjoyed reading it. I’m a midwife and have 2 children both naturally. I won’t lie to you the pain was dreadful but when it was all over I recovered quickly. The thing about having an elective C Section is it can be a risk to yourself and your child and your recovery process takes longer as well.These days women have epidurals etc to help with the pain. If I had my time over I think I would still do it naturally but perhaps have some pain relief. It’s your choice good luck with what ever you decide when it happens.
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I think if you have a vagina and are an adult, then nothing can make you more or less of a woman. You just are a woman, and that’s that.
I’ve only had three natural births, and have no experience with c sections, but always thought before having kids that a c section would be better. I really don’t think that now. I’m all for women having a choice, but I think it has to be an educated one.
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Whilst ‘lady bits’ might recover, the thought of stretching, tearing and stitching my vagina up is terrifying. Of course it is selfish when as mothers we are suppose to give all of ourselves selflessly to our children, but a healthy sex life is important to me and I don’t want to screw that up by terrorising my vagina through contorting it into shapes no penis will ever be able to.
I was all for vaginal birth until my twins were born 8 weeks premature by emergency c-section. I didn’t get to hold them until they were three days old. They spent the first four weeks of their life being primarily cared for by a range of highly qualified and supportive public health nurses and paeds. I could choose to feel ripped off, victimised, shamed as less of a woman. Or I could appreciate the beautiful children I have and how lucky I am they are here with me. Given the high maternal mortality rates in the developing world, this really is a first world problem don’t you think?
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I love this –
I could choose to feel ripped off, victimised, shamed as less of a woman. Or I could appreciate the beautiful children I have and how lucky I am they are here with me.
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I am concerned about societies language regarding childbirth (excruciating pain, like pushing out a watermelon etc). We are setting ourselves and young women up for anxiety and negative experiences. Our body is designed to give birth vaginally. If our expectation is that of a horrendous experience then that is what we will likely have.
I consciously blocked negative talk and thought and have had two beautiful birth experiences. Both within a hospital and within a medical framework. I trusted my body and my doctors who I knew would provide adequate pain relief and intervention if and when required.
Please stop the negativity, remain open to the wonder of what our body and mind can do. I am really concerned that elective caesarian is going to become the norm.
I note the author states that she respects women “who want to give birth the old fashioned way”. Since when was it old fashioned. That scares me.
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As someone due to give birth any day now I find the tone of this article a bit concerning.
I understand that this is an opinion piece but likening a vaginal birth to amputation without anesthesia is scaremongering as are terms like ‘ripped apart etc’
Why do some women struggle to get their point across without scaremongering or patronizing other women ‘ ie giving birth the old fashioned way’
For the record I don’t agree with the terms ‘ natural’ and ‘ c section’ ( implying that a c section is unnatural) and prefer the terms ‘vaginal’ and ‘c section’ I also support a parents right to make this decision for themselves without judgement. Surely assuming that every woman who has given birth vaginally has a loose vagina is passing judgement on another woman and her choices.
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I sorted out my birth plan early. When I was six I made my three year old sister sign a contract stating that she would surrogate all my babies, as even then the idea of birth terrified me (mum was a doctor, so didn’t hold back). When my sister got old enough she wrote a contract passing on all the surrogacy duties for both of us onto our baby sister. Looks like our younger sister has her work cut out for her!
And yes, we both ended up being lawyers.
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Emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic. Husband not permitted in theatre. Took me ages to get over it, emotionally speaking. Not the c-section itself, but effectively ‘missing’ the whole thing while under GA.
Sometimes you just don’t get the choice but it saved my life and that of my baby and that’s a delivery worth having, regardless.
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My first baby was delivered by emergency c-section. She would not budge, they tried forceps the suction cap thingy, but she wasn’t leaving. The docs asked if I was ok with an emergency ceserean and I said absolutely, I just wanted her to be delivered safe and whole. She was big. But my second baby was bigger and I just knew I wouldn’t be able to do it naturally, despite the midwives telling me and often insisting I try giving birth naturally. I even had one midwife ask if I was sure I wasn’t pregnant with twins I was so huge (she was eight months pregnant with twins and I think she thought she was being funny) anyway I am so glad I trusted myself because he was big. Just under 5 and a half kilos. The ob said there was no way I would have been able to give birth to him naturally. You do what you have to do, to make it as safe as possible for both yourself and the baby.
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I would never have a c-section if I could avoid it. As petrified of a vaginal delivery I was before having my first child, I was even more terrified of being cut open.
Luckily my obstetrician also does not believe in pain, and so I’ve just had my second completely pain free vaginal delivery two weeks ago with the help of an epidural. It’s a fabulous invention if you ask me!!
Childbirth is traumatic either way, and the end result (a new baby) doesn’t help much. It’s all just confusing and draining, so you may as well go ahead and choose the option that stresses you out the least and make the experience as pleasure full as possible.
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I think what counts is having the best outcome for mother and child regardless of how they got to it. Having said that I think a vaginal birth is generally superior to a c-section because it is much easier to recover from. People always love to tell the horror stories of childbirth but in all honesty my vaginal delivery of twins was easier than a medium intensity gym workout. Thank goodness for epidurals is all I can say!
If a vaginal birth gives you that much anxiety you’re probably better off having a c-section. I was petrified of having a vaginal delivery for my twins but while a million things can go wrong they do with c-sections as well-it is major surgery. I’m glad I had a great obstetrician who gave me a good risk assesment, I felt comfortable and trusting which no doubt helped make birth that much easier.
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My vaginal birth that was reasonably straight forward physically for me(though it did take 10 days or so for my stitches to heal and stop feeling sore down below) but it wasn’t for my baby who had to be resuscitated and spent 2 weeks in ICU. After the trauma of seeing my baby so sick and having to wait at least a couple of years to see if there is any brain damage (scans currently say he’s fine but they aren’t 100%) I’ve already asked my ob if he would be open to a C-section next time (which won’t be for a couple of years). Nobody can tell me why my baby got so sick “it’s just one of those things”. Without knowing why it went wrong I just can’t bring myself to take the risk of a vaginal birth. All I know is that he was healthy before I started pushing. I read somewhere that the risks of a c-section are higher for the mother but lower for the baby (sorry don’t have a source) and I’m willing to take the risk for me. I just don’t want to have to go through that fear again. I can live with a few weeks of abdominal pain.
People shouldn’t judge other people’s childbirth decisions – you never know the reasons for those decisions and in the end it doesn’t matter as long as the baby is healthy.
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Three babies. Three c-sections. All great, happy and calm experiences No interest in anyone’s opinion in my choices – three healthy, happy babies and one tired mum. The oldest one is five – expecting that to improve sometime soon?
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I really dont care how you birth…seriously, at the end of the day, get the baby out the way that works for you…we live in 2012, where if we dont want to go through a vaginal birth we dont have to!
I personally wanted to try for a vaginal birth as i had SPD which basically means my pelvis grinded from 9 weeks and i could hardly walk…most friends and strangers suggested i went down the c section road for all the horrific pain i went through, but after chats with doctors and midwives and people who were experts in birthing(not random stragers in the supermaket who strongly suggested i do it the way they told me after questioning why I was on crutches while pregnant), it was best to try and go vaginal as the pelvis opens up and although my tender pelvis would feel a little more sore than your regualr birther, my recovery would be long and if i had a c section it would be a extra extra horrible recovery! so i just tried and vaginal worked both times, first with 12 epidural holes and only a half numb stomach and 30 hour labour, and second time no drugs and an hour 20minute birth with a baby that bungee jumped out of me….seriously…i was standing, and my midwife and i caught her haha!
Life wont be about the birth, it will be about the life of your children! I just dont think its my business how you birth! Just be healthy, and happy and love the crap out of that baby!
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You do what you want. Just something that I remember vividly from vaginal birth – I’d had a long and painful labour but at the end I felt legs, arms, even nose and ears slip/tumble out of me and it was an experience that is like nothing, nothing, nothing else. Kind of like a tender baby shaped orgasm (hard to find the right words). I’ll never forget it, it was completely unexpected and I felt I knew that baby intimately and instantly, and loved her before I even saw her.
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I’m a big believer in – it’s not how they get out as long it’s that they get out safely.
While childbirth isn’t as fun as a day at the beach it’s not always the big, screaming in pain for 36 hour horror stories that you are forever hearing about. My 3 bubs were all induced, drug assisted births – 4 hours, 3 hours & 1.5 hours. I’m too scared to go for a 4th incase it’s a birth in the car by the side of the road. I felt fine straight after & besides some stiches with number 2 & nearly missing out on my peth with number 3 the births and babies were all fine.
You need to weigh up a few hours of pain to 6 weeks of discomfit & recovery. My only birthing tip is don’t write a birth plan – just be open to whatever happens & have trust in your doctor or midwife.
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I guess everyone is different, but I have had 3 c-sections as have many of my friends and none of us found the recovery uncomfortable for 6 weeks. I was off all pain relief by day 3 with all of mine simply because I didnt need it. And I hate getting a bikini wax because it hurts too much. I do think the sort or care you receive does make a difference. Luckily I had a wonderful Ob and fabulous care in hospital. I know some women have had infections in their wounds and sent home before they were really ready so choosing good quality care, especially if you could end up in surgery (and thats something that can be a reality for many of us) should be our priority.
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“You need to weigh up a few hours of pain to 6 weeks of discomfit & recovery”
This is a bit of a generalisation…
Personally – you need to weigh up what sits comfortably with you… not what other people think. We are lucky to have the choice to choose.
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Ooohh can’t wait to read these comments…..
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After around 6 hours of labour with my son it was discovered he was breach. I was starting to wonder if I could handle the pain getting much worse so was quite relieved to be told a caesarean was the best option! Not a very pleasant experience but we were both well. When I was 10 days late with my daughter and she was showing no enthusiasm whatsoever for the outside world, I was again told that a caesar was the best option (as they were 19 months apart the dr was concerned about my scar rupturing and hence reluctant to induce labour). I broke down in tears (pregnancy hormones!) as I’d really wanted to deliver naturally. 2nd caesar better than first (maybe cos I wasn’t exhausted!) and after she arrived, healthy and sturdy and all 10 lb of her!! I was just glad we were both ok. That’s really all that matters; I felt blessed, and still do, every day. So many women never get the luxury of the choice.
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I had a natural birth but with all the pain relief on board, gas, morphine, epidural it was hardly ‘natural’. I was told to push but couldn’t feel a thing. Ventouse was used. If I go for baby number 2 I’m thinking cesar. I want to be ‘present’ unlike the first time. Bitter much? Absolutely.
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