Gisele Bundchen with Tom Brady
by MIA FREEDMAN
“Tom Ford says women get ugly at 32.” This was the link bait that sent me to this story. Supermodel Giselle Bundchen is about to turn 32. Designer Tom Ford is one of the most influential people in the fashion world. He’s worried that Giselle is about to start “losing her looks”.
Ready to be outraged? Not so fast.
You see, the fashion designer interviewed Gisele’s professional footballer husband – Tom Brady – for the fall 2012 issue of VMan magazine. Brady and Ford were discussing the ins and outs of the modelling industry with Ford, telling him: ”I’m telling you, she makes it [modeling] look easy. Because it’s not easy, oh my god it’s not easy.”
Ford took it one step further to discuss the dark side of Gisele’s job. He said:
“This sounds negative, but when you’re considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, it’s very, very hard when that starts to slip away. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when people react to you differently.
And, Gisele, I hope you’re not reading this, because it’s going to sound so negative but I know through some of my best friends who are really famous actresses — I’m not going to mention their names — who were at one point considered to be among the most beautiful women in the world at different periods of time, and how hard it is for them emotionally. So I hope Gisele is prepared for that, because it’s so difficult.”
I think that’s an incredibly insightful and gently phrased thing to say. Others, not so much. Cue: easy snark.
This from Jezebel:
Tom Ford
Tom Ford just hopes Gisele is prepared….for when she’s old and decrepit and washed-up and ugly and nobody remembers her name — which, given Gisele just turned 32, will probably happen any minute now. Because Tom Ford, king of Restylane and crown prince of Botox, has such a healthy relationship with aging. Weirdly, the designer shared this advice with Tom Brady. (What do you even say to that? ‘Um, thanks Tom, I’ll sure tell my wife to worry a little more about losing her looks’?) No joke, aging is kind of hard when you’re in an industry that fetishizes youth and discards people seemingly at whim, but the outcomes are hardly as grim as Ford makes out. We imagine Isabella Rossellini wastes very little of her time thinking about how she looked when she was younger, for example.
Tom Brady on the cover of Vmag
Sorry, but bollocks. To suggest Isabella Rossellini is unaffected by the aging process? I think that’s not only disengenuous but unhelpful. We all live in a society that tells us that the way a woman looks is important. This is challenging enough for any girl or woman, let alone the women who are universally acclaimed for their beauty. Let alone the women whose entire careers are due to the way they look. Women like Giselle and some of the other women to whom Ford refers.
OF COURSE it’s going to be challenging for those women as their beauty changes. Especially when everywhere you look, we are bombarded with the singular message: hot equals young. Beautiful equals young. Sexually attractive equals young.
I often think about how hard it must be (in a very first world way) for models and actresses and ‘sex symbols’ as they grow older. We have shamefully few examples around us of women being ‘allowed’ to age gracefully and the way older women are portrayed in the media is rarely complimentary. Our definition of ‘sexy’ and ‘beautiful’ remain pitifully narrow.
So many women talk about becoming ‘invisible’ as they age. And I think Tom Ford’s point was valid and respectfully made. In stark contrast to most other designers (male and female), he has been able to celebrate women of different ages in his work. Take a look at this fantastic video of his debut collection when he launched his Tom Ford collection:
Earlier this week, Stylelist rounded up their favourite ever quotes about ageing gracefully. They got everyone from Helen Gurley Brown to Taylor Swift. Take a look:
Taylor Swift
Comments
126 Comments so far
I have thought about this post for a while…and I still can’t faithfully articulate my thoughts into a response/comment…but, I’m going to have a crack at it anyway!
Irrespective of any arbitrary, numeric cut off point, the reality is that we all age and society is obsessed with youthfulness (moreover, we are biologically wired to be attracted to young looks because it indicates fertility blah-de-blah…).
So I actually think there is a valid point here…somewhere. These comments may sound harsh and imprudent, but I can appreciate the sentiment behind them.
For the past year I have been starting to feel ‘old’ physically and have noticed changes in my appearance due to the ageing process. I wish I could say I have been unaffected by it (after all, I’m no supermodel and my livelihood does not rely solely on my looks); yet every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of my rapidly increasing age and it causes me too much self-reflection. I don’t place all of my self-worth on my looks, but (like most of us, I’m sure) I often feel very insecure about myself and changes in my appearance compound those feelings (vanity gets the better of me!).
So yes, I do believe it can be emotionally challenging at that random point in time where it seems we have suddenly morphed from exuberant youth into old and a little worn…for many of us, and not just those whose current existence centres on how they look.
I am by NO means saying that women above the age of 32 (or whenever) can no longer look young or be visually attractive (I believe many people actually appear more attractive because they grow in confidence, or even in health, as they mature). But, it would be foolish to think that we are not going to be emotionally affected (in some way) by any major physical changes we experience as we age.
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I think I know where he’s coming from, and we need to remember he has spoken about women who need to look good as a living.
Personally, I think people get better looking as they age. The years add character to their faces and the experiences they’ve had make them more interesting to talk to.
Then again, they can be themselves and not a canvas for someone else to sell something with.
I’ll admit to having a perve on male models, actors etc but in real life, I’m always attracted to the smart guys who have had interesting experiences.
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Of all of this, Taylor Swift’s silly comment is the most offensive – no 23 year old has any concept of what she will or won’t do at 60. Twit. Until you’re in the skin of you at any later age, you have no idea of how you will feel in it, or what modern science will make available to you. And her expounding a moral high-ground about what is dignified or not at ages decades ahead of her, really is just ignorance in print! Stick to writing songs about boyfriend problems love, and worry about your hair colour if and when it’s actually an issue for you – you never know, it just might surprise you how quickly you need to pull out the dye!!! Or just how fabulous 60 can feel – you may seriously want to go back to blonde! Heck, I am about half way between Taylor and 60 – and I would never dream of passing judgement on what 60 year old woman do to maintain their sense of fabulousness – as long as they can still feel great about themselves – then good on them! Wonder if Taylor forbid’s airbrushing of her own photos when she has a zit?
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I digress. What about women like Monica Bellucci (age 47) that makes grown men dribble at her feet? Or Yasmin Le Bon (47 also) who just got an undercut and looks more hip each passing day? I could go on and on, but these are just two examples.
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I need a day to reorganise all my thoughts on this post. There is a lot of them. Hopefully I do not forget what I have to say come dawn, quite possible. Seeing I am 39…….
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haha, me too. I just wrote a reply and then deleted it because I can’t properly organise what I want to say!
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Who cares what Tom Ford says or thinks. I’m just weirded out by your response Mia, although I can’t quite put my finger on why. Maybe it’s because I imagine Giselle, with her still evident beauty and, I’m sure, other talents, will BE OKAY! I’m not sure you’ve helped the ’cause’ with your comments. Even giving credence to someone who states that the magic cut-off age is 32 is bizarre. Please women out there, don’t feel like crap (someone mentioned they felt this way in the previous comments). Your confidence, or grace, or motherhood, or kindness, or joy, or even your weariness, translates on your face to make you beautiful. Sure, it may take more of an effort to stay fit, or we may decide to die our hair, but I actually really believe that as with men, women can become more physically attractive with age – not to mention assured and sexy. Surely Giselle won’t lose any of her friends as she grows older, and hopefully she’s made a few good investments. !!
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I have such a high regard for this website, and for Mia Freedman – but I found this article really disappointing!
I completely disagree with Tom Ford. I do not believe that a woman’s looks start to slip away at the magic age of 32 – or any other age for that matter! How ridiculous! Just because a person’s appearance changes over time, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are becoming less attractive.
We don’t have to perceive the visible signs of ageing as ugly or undesirable. The advertising industry encourages us to think this way because marketing low self-esteem makes it easier to flog eye-creams, wrinkle creams, foundation, skin serums…. and a myriad of other costly ‘anti-ageing’ products. By the way, I buy all this stuff too (personally, I think grooming makes a huge difference to one’s physical attractiveness), but you really do have to take all those ads with a grain of salt. Anyone who makes you feel unattractive because you are ageing is trying to sell you something.
Also, to any woman or man out there who feels unattractive because their partner has left them for a ‘younger model’, please do not take this to be a sign that you are no longer sexually desirable because of your age. Men (or women) who have a sexual preference for much younger partners are usually having trouble confronting their own mortality – i.e., it’s their problem, not yours!
By the way, I am saying this from the perspective of a healthy 26-year-old woman, who has always received a lot of positive attention for the way that I look. I just want all the older women out there to know that you are still gorgeous. My mum picks up more than I do and she’s 50, and my 74-year-old grandmother is absolutely beautiful! I’m not just being kind or politically correct, I really believe this.
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Thank you so much for your insightful and intelligent comment Sam
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As Joan Collins once said – the problem with beauty is that its like being born rich and getting poorer every day. Hopefully by the time looks are on the decline, a “beautiful” woman has built up other, more substantive things in life – relationships, career, family – to derive validation and self esteem from. The feeling of people finding you attractive is intoxicating – but I now realise (I’m mid thirties) that when you’re young you can waste an awful lot of time and energy on trying to be beautiful you could use to achieve other things and enrich yourself in other ways!
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Perhaps it won’t come as such an awful emotional shock for Giselle because maybe she in fact might treasure other aspects about herself, more so than her looks. She may simply view her looks as something that’s earned her a good living over the years, but to her perhaps her personality (and heavens forbid) her husband and child and the life and family she’s created, are all a lot more important than her looks. I think she seems smart enough to have had the foresight to have taken all this into consideration over her life. We don’t seem to be giving her brain and emotional intelligence any credit here. It would be interesting to ask her what her definition of beauty is….it might surprise us.
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Damn, I’m 32 today! Bad timing for me…but I’m dealing with it. Have to admit, this birthday is a little tougher than previous ones, but I think I’m doing ok.
This year I did start to notice little creases appearing. But I always admire women who age naturally and find them much more beautiful than those who go under the needle and knife.
Oh, and I’m going to get out of my ugly fluffy bathrobe now, wax my eyebrows and wear my best lingerie all day – that will definitely help
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I am about to turn 32 also and I’ve never felt more beautiful in my life. I just have to look into the eyes of my three kids and see their beauty and love reflected back at me. Even when I’m feeling less than ordinary their unconditional love puts life and what matters into perspective. I’m sure Gisele feels the same way…
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*** IDEA ***
After reading the comments and giving this thought, I had a brainwave on my way into work.
Today / this weekend, let’s all pay a compliment to a woman 30 years or more.
It might be her skin, hair, hands, posture, smile, the way she wears her clothes, shoes, her taste in accessories, her healthy glow, how toned she is. Make it something physical, and choose something she’s put effort into if you can. And of course, be sincere, don’t make it up.
It’s nice to let someone know you noticed them if they are feeling invisible. Everyone has something – notice it and call it out.
And… post your story on here afterwards (please!)
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LOVE this idea!
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What a FAB idea!
and the reaction you sometimes get from giving a sincere compliment can really brighten your day and give you some joy to!
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Ah, 32 seems to be the magic age – it was for me. Still looked like I could be in my 20s (better actually), but had the confidence that comes with your 30s. I look back on it wistfully. Now in my 40s, I don’t ‘feel’ any older on the inside, but don’t look quite the same! Lucky that I have built a life that doesn’t revolve around my looks. More to life than ‘looking hot’. Isn’t that what we want to be teaching our daughters (and sons)?
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I think Tom’s remarks are perceptive. If the path has been made smooth for you in life due to something like beauty or sporting ability it must be confronting when it fades and people’s reactions to you change
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Like a lot of people have said, I think often you look back at photos of yourself and think “damn, I looked so beautiful/young/slim/healthy!”, when at the time you were beating yourself up for how you looked. I’m preempting this and choosing to love how I look now, because I’m healthy and young (comparatively…) and loved and loving. Now I just have to keep remembering this as the lines and body continues to spread!
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Neither Mia or Tom are suggesting that there’s a set age that women automatically become ugly. They’re suggesting that if your identity is based around being beautiful, you’re likely to find it very difficult when you’re no longer considered a beautiful woman. That’s very fair, I think.
My bfs best friend is a very famous model, and is absolutely stunning. When we get dressed up for events, I think I look great…then we meet them at the red carpet entrance and I look like rubbish compared to her. But then I remember that her looks are her job. If I’m not the most beautiful woman in the room, that’s fine, because I’m intelligent, with a great job, I’m funny, and caring and kind, etc etc. Whereas all she’s ever invested emotionally in is her looks, and once they go she will struggle to find a new identity. I’m not ragging on her at all, it’s more just an example of what I think Mia/Tom mean.
It’s lovely to be beautiful, but you want to make sure that you don’t treat it as your primary quality in your youth, or else you’re setting yourself up for real heartache when you age and they fade.
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Is that Hermione Underwood? If so, please tell Lara to wear a little less black. She looked amazing in that red dress. Can’t believe she had never worn one before.
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A timely article for me..
I am 33 with 3 small kids. Just found that my hubby has been looking at porn particularly much younger looking women (women in their 20′s dressed often as schoolgirls to look like teens) none of them were children or underage so no concerns there..also most were way more flat Chested than my now saggy E cups..
Just wondering how other women cope with this?!
I am attractive have always had lots of attention from men, but having low self esteem I have always placed too much importance on that attention too..
Need advice and if this is not quite right the right article to post on perhaps someone at Mamamia or someone with a good memory can point me in right direction to a previous article.
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I’m 41 & I apreciate what I have around me the MOST, which is my small family!
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Almost every man I know looks at porn, unless it is something that has become really habitual and compulsive, then I personally don’t think you need to worry. Talk to him about it.
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I wouldn’t be too worried about the Porn if it wasn’t the younger looking girls /school girls in particular and it feels like he’s fantasizing about something I’m not..
Thanks for replying..
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I understand what you’re saying, but bare in mind that what you look at in porn doesn’t necessarily depict what you want in real life. Honestly, I’m embarrassed to mention the things that turn me on in porn, because the idea of any of them actually occurring would be…well, horrible! And yet, they’re the only things that turn me on during porn! I have no idea why – maybe because they’re so different from reality?
So it might be that your hubby is using porn to access something different to feed a brief fantasy he would never act out (or want to act out), just as a novelty. It probably doesn’t correlate at all to how he feels about you.
If you’re feeling down on yourself though, I would suggest joining a bootcamp or similar (something where you are locked in to exercising three times a week) so you can reconnect with your body, and so you feel strengthened, invigorated and sexier. Get a wax, throw on some sexy lingerie (even if you’re just doing the supermarket shopping). The easiest way to be sexy is to feel sexy.
I hope some of that helps, even a tiny bit xx
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Thanks Alice your reply does help.
To be honest I’m only down on myself because of lack of attention from him, I actually don’t need to exercise (other than for health and well being) because without sounding conceited there isn’t too much in reality wrong with my body (considering I had baby number 3 in the last couple of months).
I don’t know what ‘sexy lingerie’ is anymore because what I like or what I would have thought hubby would like is so different to what I saw. If I buy what I like it prob wouldn’t interest him and if I wear what he likes (as per what was in the porn) it wouldn’t make me feel too good because it was for example ‘cotton schoolgirl panties’..
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Obviously I don’t know your hubby’s brain, but I really do think there’s a big difference between what you want to watch and what you want in real life. He’d probably feel like a creepy paedo if you tried to sexily don a school girls outfit – but it’s safe to think about all kinds of things in the privacy of his mind.
In terms of sexy lingerie, lacy black stuff tends to be a winner for most people. Also, if you get some black stay up stockings they look like suspenders, but aren’t as full on. They make the whole thing look about 200% sexier, but don’t require much effort or expense. Plus, I like them because they disguise my thighs… Just food for thought!
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I wonder if he might watch this because schoolgirl porn tends to be pretty straight forward sex? Milf porn is older women showing off quite often, which can be both confronting and a little confusing!
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Thanks could be a reason..
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Tom Ford is so wrong.
Interestingly, Helena Rubenstein said there’s no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one.
Mia.. You were wrong when you suggested Tom’s statement was acceptable. ‘Attempting to understand where Tom is coming from’ is fine, but where he’s coming from is not the real world. You and I live in the real world and messages like this annoy me. Commenting on and writing about these types of statements gives credibility to his argument. Do you think you’re ugly? Or should you only think it if you were a model/actress? It’s ok to feel ugly if you’re over 32 and a model because the industry accepts it to be so?
I turned 39 today. You should see me. I am one ugly mother. Have been for 7 years…
How ridiculous.
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I think you have missed the point. Maybe a re-read?
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Just a random comment here that Gisele’s husband Tom Brady is a major upgrade from Leonardo DiCaprio, IMO
good move Gisele!
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Really? To me, they BOTH seem to be arrogant jerks. I find that takes the shine off their attractiveness. And let’s not forget Tom Brady was in a ‘committed’ relationship with Bridget Moynahan (Natasha on Sex and the City) when Gisele bagged him. In fact, Bridget was expecting at the time.
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Yes, *clearly* it’s Jezebel in the wrong here for calling Tom Ford out on reinforcing the stale & toxic stereotypes he expresses faux concern for. Instead of saying something ‘so negative’ he could have said something about the increasing self-confidence & ease women in their 30s experience, or about the need for representatives of different age groups in the media. I’m also wondering how Mia presumes to know Isabella Rosellini’s attitude to aging? Implying she’s weeping into her wrinkle cream about the hideousness of getting older is the real disingenuity here, and not all that helpful in contributing positively to the ongoing conversation about this issue.
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I can’t believe you’re slamming Jezebel. That blog is the shizz.
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Not slamming. Respect for Jezebel. Just don’t agree with the sentiment in this post. I’m sure Jezebel cope with contrasting opinions!
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I’m sure Jezebel is equipped to deal with opposing views too. My point is, they represent a reliably liberal, feminist viewpoint and are totally justified in calling Tom Ford out for making such a broad assumption about the qualities women value in themselves and the importance they place on external expectations. How do you know how Isabella Rossellini copes with aging? And to refer to her as someone “whose entire career [is] due to the way [she] looks” completely discounts her acting ability and achievements as a film maker, author and animal activist. Wow. That’s sexism at its finest.
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Because she’s most famous for her looks, as is Gisele. They promoted and made money off their looks, so that’s a credit to their modelling careers. It’d be different if Tom or Mia were suggesting our PM was defined by her looks, when she’s defined by her brain. But for women who’ve chosen careers based on their looks, it’s a fair assertion.
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totally agree with @Haven Maven.
I know I looked my absolute best btwn 25-30… but I certainly like and respect myself more, now that I’ve passed 37… age is just a number though… I still feel about 29-ish on the inside… it’s just that, you don’t quite leap out of bed in the mornings like you used to…
lol… i’m sure many on here can relate ;o)
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Disingenuous, Mia.
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I’m way more attractive now (in my thirties) than I was in my teens and twenties. That’s not just my personal opinion, it’s borne out by the amount of people who respond to me in such a way. The really hilarious thing is I make young, very good-looking men of about 20 blush, and when I was their age boys who were my peers didn’t look at me twice. ‘Course, being a lesbian (and not a cradle-robber) I’m obviously not going to act on it, but it is flattering.
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Oops. Having now read the whole thread, I hope my comment wasn’t taken as a boast. I’m really sorry those of you who are experiencing the opposite are feeling bad.
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Didn’t sound like a boast – many people find that self-confidence and knowledge is appealing
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I’m 41 and I wear that number as a badge of honour. Why? Well put bluntly getting older is better than the alternative – not getting older at all.
If you were given the option of dying young and beautiful or getting old and growing into a few wrinkles what would you choose? I bet most would take the wrinkles
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Very true Cath! One of my best friends has recently been bemoaning the fact that she’s about to turn 40 – she’s very depressed about it. I keep reminding her about my sister, who died suddenly at the age of 30 – I know my sister would have loved to live through her thirties and had the opportunity to build her career, travel more extensively, get married, have children etc. – all the things that her friends have been doing for the past few years.
Since my sister’s death, I feel very fortunate to be alive and well and looking to the future.
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I’m sorry about your sister, Siobhan.
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Thanks so much, Diana.
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Very interesting, have you ever watched an old TV series/movie and seen actresses who are young and see them now in their 40′s and they look so much better, polished and I think much more gorgeous. It must be hard when you make your living by your looks, can not fight ageing, however genetics is a blessing, Cindy Crawford, Helen Mirren, Julia Roberts et al look pretty fab to me!
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All those women who are saying they don’t get chatted up anymore or that no-one checks them out now. Have you not thought that maybe a lot more men over 30 are in a committed relationship and perhaps have a little more tact than just ogling a woman?
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I honestly have to think about how old I am. It doesn’t come up in my day-to-day life, with the exception of filling in forms! My husband says I look better than ever now and we have been together 11 years. Despite having kids, I have a bit more $ to put into grooming and fashion and fitness. I think a lot of women look their best around their 30th birthdays but that’s my limited anecdotal experience.
Oh and I’ve remembered how old I am.
I am 32.
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At my 30th my friends were joking that this should be my 21st cause I had never looked better, so I totally agree with you.
I’m now 35 and missing the fantastic tan and the results of a personal trainer but am still happy with the way i am aging
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Most of those quotes you’ve put up in the gallery are actually quite depressing, FYI.
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Tom Ford obvously has never seen pictures of Audrey Hepburn as she aged.
She was stuning when she was younger, but in my personal opionion as she aged (and i mean in her late 60s and 70s) she was just absoultely beautiful, and with no help from the scalpule. Some of her final photos where taken as a UNICEF ambassador and even out in the back bushes of Africa she was amazing .
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I looked a lot better in my 30′s than I did in my 20′s. Not quite sure why. I was more fit and healthier and slimmer in my 30′s. But now that I have turned 40, the looks have started to fade and things aren’t as great. Realistically, 40 is a big turning point in the looks department. But I feel better in other ways.
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I grew up a gorgeous teenager and was told so all the time. At 31 now I can feel my looks fading a little everyday, and see the new gorgeous things coming up through the ranks and wish them well. It’s one of those first world problems: being beautiful for a few decades and then losing it.
I know this sounds ungrateful but it’s quite depressing to know everyone no longer wants you.
It also has made me terribly cynical about men having had men – married or not, young and old – falling over themselves to try and be with me, sometimes infront of their wives! Now it makes me always question my own partners and if they would do this to some poor girl too.
To top it all off I work in advertising and media, probably the most soul destroying industry going.
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Oh my. It’s comments like these that make me realize that I’m maybe not as attractive as I think I am!! Sure, I’ve had dates and men interested in me (and a husband for 5 years), but strangers have NEVER gone out of their way to be with me. I’m 27. Such is life. On the upside, I don’t invest that much time into my looks and having a wicked sense of humor that will stay with me as I age, hopefully.
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Sometimes I feel like people confuse what a first world problem actually is. I’m sure there are plenty of stunningly beautiful women in third word countries who have multiple men vying for their affection and perhaps have their idenity centred around their looks and then feel some sense of loss as these fade. perhaps even more so as beauty can be a commodity.
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Any woman who spends more than two minutes a day thinking about her own looks should consider a “mirror fast” for a month. As the 37yo mother of young children I can only really afford the most cursory of glances and I have to say, the lack of endless self-gazing has done a lot for my self esteem. I fret about my looks waaaay more than I did when I was in my so-called prime. I used to agonise about all the reasons I wasn’t perfect, like some kind of daily inventory. Now I think to myself ‘you know what— I look good for my age; I take care of myself and it shows.’
I’m proud of how I look at this ‘ripe old age’— not insufferably vain and narcissistic, craving men’s attention endlessly as I was at 21. Seriously. I’ve got better things to do with my time nowadays.
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Oops, I meant I fret about my looks way LESS than I did in my teens & 20s.
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I have to agree with your mirror gazing point. Although I’m only 25 I have a toddler and am pregnant with #2 and find that as I’ve had much less time to look in the mirror, my self esteem has benefited! I was reminded of this the other day when I went into a change room to try maternity jeans on. I was reminded of how soul crushing mirrors can be and realised that I was a lot better off not having much time in change rooms these days!! I am average looking and think I look fine. But I’m glad now that I don’t have to worry about people treating me differently as I age as I won’t be ‘losing my beauty’ lol.
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re: Taylor Swift and going grey…it’s all very well if you aren’t grey til you’re 60 but I started going grey at 16!
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Also blond going grey is different than brunette going grey. Way more of a shock as more obvious and it really changes the way you see yourself. I would never consider going ‘light’ now in my thirties, but one day I will not have a choice… Unless I dye my hair!
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I am 70 and definitely hanging on to be blonde. I feel better, I look better and I am of the opinion that life is for living and this is the way I want to do it. Exercising to be fit and strong, eating well, and loving, that’s my prescription – we’re dead a long time.
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Ford’s right.
I’m 19, and by no means do I think I have any right to judge the journey other’s go through or think I have some great insight, but it is scary.
19 begins that tranistion from being a teenager to adult. ADULT. Adult body. That scares me. Not in a bad way, but it’s unknown. I can see the subtle changes beginning already.
My boobs aren’t the fantastically perky DD’s they used to be, and in honesty I do struggle with the thought of them ageing. I’ve had moles and freckles my whole life and no matter how much I slatherte sunscreen a new one pops up everynow and then.
But honestly it’s mostly good stuff.
I’ve lost almost 20 kgs since I was 14. I feel like I own my body more now then back a few years ago when things changed at bullet speed. I kinda like the stretch marks around my thighs. I can tell already that I’m going to have my grandmother’s hands, and I love her hands.
Ageing seems scary now, but I’m not going to stress about it. I’m sure in 50 years I’ll look back and be grateful for (fingers crossed) good health, not that I did or didn’t go grey at a certain age.
Which is all well and good for people in the common world, but yes, it must be quite devastating in hollywood to see your livelyhood begin to fade.
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The changes you’ve noticed in your boobs are probably more from losing weight rather than your age, I would think?
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I have always thought people look better in their 30′s and 40′s than teens and 20′s (even while I was a teenager)
Your face loses the puppy fat look and becomes more ‘chiseled’ and interesting. I can think of heaps of examples of people better looking now than in their 20′s – Liz Hurley, Jen Aniston, JLo, Nicole Kidman the list goes on….
I should add that confidence also plays a huge part in that sophisticated beauty…
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I call it being cosmetically enchanced
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At 34 I am finally comfortable in my own skin.. I think this trumps fine lines any day and is very attractive
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It’s possible that I looked “okay” when I was in my 20′s – I was acting professionally and, well people are kind ……In my 30′s I was still acting, but now I was in radio comedy, children’s TV – character work mostly (no need to look glamorous) and teaching drama and “doing make-up on the side”.
In my 40′s – well, I’m not going any further………simply because most of my work has been doing various voices for radio comedy & commercials.
You might be surprised to learn that I NEVER tell people in the industry my age …..it would be a kind of “professional death”.
This is because my “party trick” is being able to perform a variety of ages, dialects/accents and, eventhough I probably look my age, I must be able to convincingly fool the ears of writers , sound producers and listeners.
In this ageist of all industries, if I told people that I was 45yrs (for eg) – that 45 would be implanted on my forehead at every session…………….No it’s not fair but it will not change any time soon.
I remember a terrific interview with Antonio Banderas when he was grilled about his ageing wife Melani Griffith’s plastic surgery. “Hollywood is very cruel to women” he said sadly – lovely, sympathetic man……
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Granted Tom Ford was not insensitive like John Galliano during that scandal or even Wayne Cooper (with his remarks about larger bodied ladies) but I still think he needs to tread carefully – A lot of his designs are worn and bought by older females (who can actually afford Gucci & YSL)! I think it’s a touchy and clearly emotional subject for many females!
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I don’t know – I read his quote as saying that if your whole life and livelihood is wrapped up in how you look, then some women find that hard to let it go. I don’t think he was saying all women are ugly over a certain age.
I agree. If you’re a model or actress and you’re known for being beautiful and not much else, then I’m sure it’s tough when you’re suddenly not wanted anymore in fickle Hollywood or the modelling industry.
Read this awesome article by 80s model Paulina Porizkova on how tough she found aging – she’s totally honest about how it sucked going from beautiful to… starting to age. (She’s obviously still beautiful)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paulina-porizkova/aging_b_771127.html
“Nothing ages as poorly as a beautiful woman’s ego”
Thank god I’m pretty average looking. My self esteem is tied up in other things!
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Great article, thanks for the link!
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I think I looked my best physically when I was about 26 – 29. However I love myself more at 44.
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I really like this comment – I think it’s important to separate how you feel about yourself and how you physically look. As you don’t have control over how you physically look (to a large degree) in terms of ageing etc.
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Love this comment Haven Maven.
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God there was an amazing piece in Vogue Australia March 2012 on this – written by a former international model whose name I can’t remember. She made it plain (I think without realising it) that being beautiful and worshipped – and then not beautiful and worshipped – destroyed her capacity for contentment. She turned 40 and had no idea who she was – her words (paraphrased). If only I could find it to share it! No luck on the Google…
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i think it was about Paula Porizkova – amazing article
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She was my favourite supermodel when I was growing up. So stunning. And now, so eloquent and well considered.
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I remember reading that! I couldn’t find it either, wish I could because what she said was really powerful.
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Was it this piece from the Huffington Post?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paulina-porizkova/aging_b_771127.html
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No, that’s not it, but that one is certainly on topic too
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Wow. That was cool. I think she’s more interesting than she gives herself credit for. I found that very honest and not “woe is me, I’m beautiful” at all (despite some of the comments).
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It does depend on what your definition of beauty is. That in itself is another question altogether. But in terms of celebrity id say that’s about right. I still love and admire women who are older than 32 and I still think they look banging. However I do think the peak of everything (skin, hair etc) is around 32ish. Not being harsh and I know everyones different but id sort of agree with Tom Ford.
It would be very hard when you’re THAT good looking as its easy to tell when things start to.. slip.
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My wife is 42 a former model…she gets more and more beautiful and for better or for worse men never stop turning and looking..By the way why is Tom Fords precious nose still intact
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I am about to turn 43 and laugh about how gorgeous I was when i was younger but had no idea……. as I was too busy being insecure and allowing my then misogonistic boyfriend to endlessly critique my appearance (yes Andrew am talking about you!!) Now I don’t give a stuff as I am now wise enough to appreciate that it is better to have a 43rd birthday than NOT!
(but am secretly delighted that said ex boyfriend is losing his hair ! ) Ha KARMA !!!!
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Gold
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I really get this sentiment. As I’ve gotten older, men have totally stopped paying attention to me in “that” way. I actually think I look better than in my 20s (I’m slimmer and more toned, dress better and my face has matured). Maybe it’s the vibe I give off – married with kids vs young and free. But I’m sad that no one chats me up in bars or winks across a room anymore
Fortunately, professionally it’s the opposite – as I get older and more experienced, I’m more “valuable” and am treated better. My career gets better and better. I really feel for models and actresses – to watch your career slow and eventually vanish, simply because you’re getting older and there being nothing you can do about it. It is absolutely something they will have to face, and there’s no point denying it. I think Tom Ford said it really well.
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No one chats me up in bars either. But thats because i dont go to bars anymore. im sure if i was at a bar then someone would have a go at chatting me up.
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Jeez, I always hated getting the chat up. Don’t miss those cheesy lines at all.
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Perhaps I should be grateful I’ve always looked plain and unremarkable?
Loved the Tom Ford video. Amazingly for a fashion video, it looked like people were having fun!
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I have always thought that the ageing process must be hard for extremely beautiful women. One of the joys of being ‘quite pretty’ as opposed to ‘stunning’ is that I’ve never felt that my looks mattered that much, and I look forward to getting older.
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I just turned 32. As much as I think this is bollocks, I feel crap after reading this
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It’s more like 35-6. You’ve got a few good years left.
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Helpful.
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Glad to help Just speaking from experience. Hopefully you get to a stage where you don’t give a shit about what people think of you and your beauty or lack of.
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I was being sarcastic.
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I know you were. So was I, with my glad to help. Xx
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Ah shite! M 34 .. Hav only a year or two left to enjoy my youthful appearance!
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I’m glad I’m average looking.
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Me too! And having been really fat as an adolescent, I never learnt to use my looks, or feel powerful as a result of them. Now I get to enjoy a moderate amount of attention (mostly from my boyfriend) and it’s still really novel.
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Me too! i don’t mind. Beauty is a gift to be enjoyed I guess, but you don’t need it. perfectly average looking people have friends, find love and have amazing jobs and families. And I know beautiful looking people who have none of that.
Life is what you make it, no matter what you look like.
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