This post is brought to you by Myer.
By JAMILA RIZVI
For my eighth birthday I wanted roller-skates.
For me, those roller skates were a representation of everything that was cool. In fact, I hadn’t really made any plans for my life after the day I would become the proud owner of The Roller Skates. White roller skates to be precise – with white laces and blue wheels. Once I had them, my life would be complete.
I had wanted them forever (okay, maybe a year, less?) But my unusually cruel and harsh parents insisted that I learn to ride my bike before I got yet another piece of sporting equipment that I wouldn’t use. Meanies.
The problem was that I wasn’t the most confident of little kids. Especially when it came to anything where there was even a remote possibility that I could get hurt.
I was the five-year-old that stood at the top of the water-slide for half an hour, generously letting other kids go in front of me, waiting for a gap in the line so I could climb back down the stairs without anyone noticing – too scared to go down the actual slide.
I was scared of heights. I was scared of being hit in the face by a ball. I was scared of the snow. I was scared of diving into a pool, in case I hit my head on the bottom. And I was terrified of learning to ride my bike. But you see, I had to do it. I had to. The Roller Skates depended on it.
We had been practicing on the school oval for hours, with he and my mum taking turns at pushing me. Poor mum, after almost breaking her back from bending over and holding the seat of the bike, while she pushed it along had finally had enough and taken my little sister home. My dad persevered.
For a dad who was sports mad and when it came to anything athletic had essentially no fear – it must have been tough pushing his prissy little daughter around all day and night. I still remember saying again and again ‘don’t let go dad, don’t let go’ because I honestly believed that the end was nigh for me if I was left to pedal alone. The harshness of the grassy landing that awaited me when the bike inevitably tipped, would surely spell my DOWNFALL.
But we got there. We got there because dad wouldn’t let go. We got there in the end only because I trusted him and knew that he wouldn’t let me try on my own until I was actually ready to.
Most adults would have given up on me earlier or simply given me a push and let me fall – so that I could see it wasn’t that bad – but not my Dad. He took my inane little fears seriously and would rationally talk through with me the physics of falling and assess the potential risk versus reward of trying to pedal without him holding me upright.
Painful as the process was, the riding of bikes was ultimately achieved.
A few weeks later we were at the school oval again. It was the morning of my eighth birthday and I was in possession of The Roller Skates. Mum, dad, my sister and I were testing them out ahead of my party that afternoon.
I remember being grumpy with dad for not paying proper attention to my phenomenal skating abilities. I remember being annoyed that he disappeared for a while, to go to the local medical centre because he told mum he hasn’t been feeling well.
We were told by Doctors later that day that my dad appeared to have suffered a heart attack overnight. I don’t recall much of my eighth birthday party, other than the fact that dad wasn’t there and for the parts that mum was, she was crying.
My dad recovered and he was fine. He’s still fine in fact.
Too many little girls grow up without their dad for reasons of death, divorce or simply, disinterest. I know how lucky I was and how lucky I am. Every big moment I have with my dad I remember how many of them might not have happened.
It’s Father’s Day in a few weeks. And as happens every year, my sister and I will agonise over what to get the man who says he doesn’t need anything, doesn’t want anything. It will drive us absolutely and totally bonkers, trying to force him into admitting that there actually is something he has his eye on.
I’m thinking a bike. What do you reckon?
Jamila’s dad is a Daddy Set Go – a sports guy. What about your dad? Is yours a Dad-a-licious who is master of the barbie? A Big Boss daddy-o or a Cool Daddy? A reader or a rocker? Whoever he is and whatever he does we reckon Myer knows dad. Check out http://campaigns.myer.com.au/FathersDay for more great dads and cool gift ideas.
This post is sponsored by Myer. Comments on this post are just for this post. If you want to talk about the IDEA of sponsored posts or the choice of advertisers please click here. We will be reading all those comments too for feedback.
Come and share your favourite moment with your dad or a moment shared between your partner and your child. The readers with the 4 best moments will each win a $500 Myer gift card, which is perfect to spend on you and dad this Father’s day. Photos are welcome! You must be a Mamamia member to enter. Competition closes 31/08/2012.
Comments
165 Comments so far
My dad is a loveable awkward eccentric. He rides a recumbent tricycle everywhere, and is unusually comfortable wearing Lycra in public. The first time he met my now-husband he rode to my house. Mr Alys was totally hungover and Dad was hot & sweaty and wearing bike pants.
Right now, he and his recumbent tricycle are riding a four month journey from Rome to Paris. He was soooo excited about this trip. Seriously, kid in a candy bar stuff. He was going to ga away last year. But he put off his trip when I fell pregnant, so he could be here when W was born. I’ll neve robe able to explain what that meant to us.
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What does my dad mean to me?
For many years I found it hard to answer this question.
Before I was born my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. He was only 28 when he found out, the same age as I am now.
While my mum can recount all the numerous times my dad used to spend with us kids, taking us down to the beach for a swim in the summer holidays, early in the morning, before he had to start work at a high profile job in a busy surburban council. I can’t really remember any of those times.
For me, my memories of dad are as he is now.
He finds it difficult to talk, stumbling over the simplest of words.
His mobility is limited, he finds it difficult to walk and will often fall over. At times having left the house for 5-6 hours you can return to find him snoozing in the same chair he was in when you left.
His short term memory has been severely affected by the pallidotomy and brain stimulation operations he has undergone in an attempt to lessen the severity of his symptoms.
His social circle is limited. Once a happy, gregarious man, his lack of speaking skills and disability have meant many of his friends and family no longer keep in contact.
Often his difficulties in speaking and slurring of words mean that people he talks to on the phone, or those he passes in the street, think that he is drunk or mentally impared.
He is only 57.
He has had Parkinson’s for almost 30 years.
He is my dad and I love him.
I often get frustrated with the limitations that this disease has placed on him but I treasure the time I do get to spend with him.
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Having read the majority of the posts on this topic, for the most part they are the very reason that I now dread this day every year. For me it’s become that day when I am overwhelmed with feelings of jealousy towards all of those that still get to share or acknowledge this day in whatever way with their dad, even if it’s something as small as sending him a text message.
My dad killed himself 3 years ago.
So I guess that’s why I like that you have asked ‘what does your dad mean to you?’
And it’s simple. He’s absolutely everything to me. Be it in my life with him, or without him.
He’s the beautiful friend that encouraged me to dream, the wise man that taught me not to suffer fools, the kind heart that showed me how to love unconditionally and the lost soul that showed me there’s no shame in being weak or afraid.
For every tear I have shed because of his leaving me, I know that in my 26 years of him being in my world I shared a thousand smiles and laughs with him. My dad. My world. My heart.
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My post is missing? It was just here…
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Its OK I found it
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My dad is Always thrilled when I call. No matter what kind of day I’ve had dad will always make me feel like I am awesome (at 42) just by listening. Oh yeh and he did great braids in my hair when I was young so I had cool waves in the morning
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Some of my most cherished memories are with my Dad. He called me “possum” when I was little and when he’d go away for work he would give me one kiss for each morning and night he would be away. When he picked me up from daycare he would let me pick the way we would drive. When we got home he would read me 10 books of my choice before dinner. My favourites were “no, no, Charlie Rascal!” And Hairy Maclarey.
We would drive around on the weekend going to all the playgrounds we could.find.
On Saturday mornings he would read the paper in bed and I would “read” the.comics and we would hide under the covers in “blanket land”.
Even now, I love having a cup of tea or glass of wine with Dad.
I try really hard to make him proud. He is the measure of ethics in my life. At his father’s funeral he said that he wished to be half the man his father was. He is exactly as amazing as his father was.
My whole life is favourite moments with Dad.
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I always knew that Dad loved me but he was not a man to ever show such emotion so he would never give me a hug, never said he was proud of me and never said he loved me. Over the years there were many occassions where we had fun and shared some laughs and such. Things were a little rough with our relationship when i was a child but once i had left home, married and started my own family and i was no longer having to live within his rules that was really when our relationship became better and i guess we both started to learn more about each other as people.
I ended up moving away so Dad and i kept in touch via phone. I called there one day and Dads partner told me that Dad was not feeling to well. Long story short after many tests it turned out that Dad had cancer. He was the sort of guy that thought if he ignored the symptoms it would go away so by the time he was dragged to the Doctors the cancer had spread and he was told he had 6 months. I told him was going to jump on a plane and come to visit but he told me that he didnt want me to and that he was having some treatment and then he would get on a plane and he would come to me as he wanted to see his grandchildren. Time went on and i knew he would not be able to get on a plane but he kept telling me not to come…so i didnt. 5months after he had been diagnosed he was bedridden and extreemly weak. I told Dads partner that i was going to phone the airline and get a ticket asap. I hung up the phone and grabbed the phone book, looked up the airlines phone number and then the phone went, It was Dads partner calling to tell me that there was no sense getting a flight as she had gone in and told Dad i was coming and with that he had collapsed and it was doubtful he would last the night. The next morning Dad was still with us and so i asked his partner to please take the phone into Dad. She told me there was no point as he hadnt responded to anyone since the previous day. I said it didnt matter if he didnt respond i just needed him to listen so she said she would hold the phone to his ear. As she placed the phone to Dads ear i started to talk…I told him that I loved him. His partner called out excited and said “Hes nodding”…I told Dad that his grandkids loved him very much and we all knew that even though he had never actually said it that he loved us all. Again his partner said “Hes nodding” …I told Dad that he wasnt to be afraid of leaving us and he must not allow our love for him to hold him here any longer then he wanted to be here and that we understood he had to go and although we would miss him we knew he would always be held in our hearts with love. Again his partner yelled “hes nodding”…I said “I love you Dad and I know you love me…You go when you are ready”….again i heard “Hes nodding”…I said “Goodbye Dad”….again “Hes nodding”….
20mins later Dad passed away…
Although it might seem like a very sad moment and it was but there was a lot of love and beauty there also. For me that was the greatest gift that my Dad ever gave me…it was the most wonderful moment he and i had ever spent together for it was a time of amazing love and communication.
Without words and with a nod he told me and proved to me that he loved me for i was the one that he mustered the strength to respond to. Its a memory that i hold close to my heart.
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Though my own Dad is a terrible Father who
I have no contact with, I am very grateful to my husband who is a fabulous father to our children. He is the one we will be spoiling this fathers’ day!!!
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My father used to work as a taxi driver, the 4pm to 4am shift. He’d finish at 4am then come home to pick up my sister and I to take us to swimming training at 5am. I had hair down to my lower back at the time and it was always a nightmare to brush, being exposed to so much chlorine. My father would pick us up at 7.30am from training, take us home, cook us breakfast and then brush our hair after we had a shower.
He actually converted an electric sander into an electric hairbrush. He superglued hairbrush bristles onto the sander and would spray a little olive oil in our hair before brushing it. It worked a treat! That is one of my fond memories from my childhood.
Now he is an even more remarkable man. As someone in his late 50s, he is the guardian for his grandchild. The grandchild faced a very difficult start to life, abused and neglected. My father has completely turned around the life of his grandchild. He stopped work for several years to stay at home to care for him. The grandchild has had an amazing early education – they would have ‘bushwalking Fridays’ where they would go for a 1.2km bushwalk through local forest and learn about flora and fauna. They read together every day. They play chess. The grandchild received their first report card a few weeks ago – it was straight A’s. This is all the more incredible given the very difficult start to life that the grandchild had.
His commitment to raising the grandchild as his own has been to the detriment of his finances (he went without work for a long time and has obviously had additional, unexpected expenses), to the detriment of his marriage (my mother left him last year because she didn’t want to spend the next fifteen years raising another child), to the detriment of his social life and his retirement – he won’t be able to retire now.
He finds it tough sometimes but mostly he is grateful to have been blessed by the presence of an amazing grandchild.
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Dad wanted me to be a boy. He does love me, really, I’m his princess, but he wanted his first child to be a boy. Thankfully, two years later when my first brother was born, he got his wish, a son! But I still was required to participate in boy-like activities when I was growing up. I was a professional rugby player at age 3, when, with blonde curly hair and in a pink tutu, I ran onto the field at UQ while Dad was playing 1st grade, cos someone had dropped the ball and I wanted to give it to Dad. Nearly died. Didn’t though, which is always good. When my other brother was born, we had a proper team. 2 vs 2. Unfortunately, by the time I was about 9, I realised that I was good at netball and that was the end of that. No more rugby for me, unless you count every weekend in the backyard, which I don’t. Luckily my baby sister, the last of our brood, took my spot in the line up. She’s heaps taller than me, so she was more of a line-out jumper, as opposed to my halfback status. But she also found netball, being the Amazonian creature that she is, so the boys were left to play like boys, while we ironed our mini skirts and bibs.
By the time I was 16, I virtually lived at Ballymore. All of my girlfriends did. We all went in our tight jeans, RM boots and fob chains, to watch our boyfriends, brothers, cousins, friends and next-door neighbours play like heroes for The Reds. That was back in the day of Horan, Little, Herbert, Flatley and Eales. Those were the days. That was back when The Reds actually dominated. Unfortunately they haven’t really had the same quality of players or coaches since those boys retired. But, back to the point, my friends and I learnt about men at Ballymore. Oh, how we revelled. The nice boys behind the bar would occasionally slip us a XXXX on the sly, but, if not, we’d bring a hippy full of Bundy in our oversized, navy Country Road bags!
If you went to a private school in Brisbane, you didn’t really have a choice but to support your brother school’s rugby team. I went anyway, all decked out in blue, because both of my brothers ended up in the First Fifteen for BGS, and being the proud sister that I am, I went along to support and freak out whenever one of them got hurt. As previously mentioned, Dad played at a fairly high level, so my brothers obviously got their impressive talents from him. My first brother still plays, for GPS, while my younger brother coaches the Colts team at UQ. It’s in our blood.
When the Rugby World Cup was on in Sydney, my whole family migrated south for the winter, like Australian geese. It was one of the most exciting couple of weeks of my young life! A lot of my friends didn’t, and still don’t, fully understand my passion for the game. Let me explain it to you. There are 15 hot, uber masculine men on the field, in pretty tight, short shorts, aggressively competing for our country, and they’re all relatively smart, because the game only went professional a little while ago. They can all articulate proper emotions and speak in sentences that include multi-syllable words. It’s great. I’ve always had a thing for front rowers. You see a big, manly man running on the field, muscles bulging, then they punch someone. Sigh. There’s nothing sexier in the world than that, in my opinion. They’re the epitome of masculinity. The backs are always the pretty boys, but they’re also usually the arrogant ones. That said, I can tell you for a fact that there’s at least one nice backline Wallaby out there and his name is Drew Mitchell. (Sigh. Lovely boy. Polite, well spoken and very respectful.) But if you look closely at the history of the Wallabies, forwards have been the captains more times than backs, because they’re mostly worldly and wise! Just like my dad.
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We are researching for my own bachelor’s measure on pc scientific research, i may perhaps keep on for any pga masters measure. I’ve truly my own A+ and also Network+ certifications, and I’m intending to gaining Linux systems, Networking Security, and the certifications.. . May i get yourself a occupation executing pc forensics utilizing this? Or, what precisely what’s do today to rise my own possibility of purchasing a pc forensics occupation?. . With thanks. Just a little more info: Me alot more development as compared to just about anything by using pc’s, and yet We are decent with all the non-programming aspect as well.. man tn
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For me it’s more what I would have loved for my dad to be; a source of strength and stability, a man who loves me unconditionally and provides me with an example of what a man should be and what a life partner I should want in my life. A man with whom I could have played soccer and do all the Tom boy things that I did by myself and especially someone who climbed trees with me. And now that I have kids of my own, a grandpa to them and a male role model as they don’t have one. My dad was violent and hateful and left me with a lifetime of insecurities and a strong belief that I don’t deserve to be alive, a decade of bad choices in men and a hole in my heart. But he also made me strong and independent and a fighter, and most of all a loving mother who loves her babies unconditionally and fiercely.
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My dad and I have always had a great relationship. In one way I think It wasn’t such a bad thing that my parents divorced when I so young, as I’ve always had strong one-on-one relationships with both my parents. Being my dad’s only daughter, I’ve always been dad’s little girl. One of the best (& probably most painful) memories I have was when we were holidaying in Melbourne. I was about 6 and Dad had me up on his shoulders walking around the city. I thought I was so tall and cool until my head collided with an overhead sign! Even though I ended up with an egg on my head and a very guilty feeling Dad, we still laugh about it to this day, 20 years later! I guess that story’s a little bit like life: You’re Dad may hold you up high, but the world can still take you down, but Dad will always be there ready for your fall! Love ya Dad xo
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My Dad loves Who wants to be a Millionaire when I say loves I mean he loves it. Living in NZ there are few opportunities to actually be a contestant on Who wants to be a millionaire since its filmed in Aussie BUT about 10 years ago he entered to be on and was given the call he had been longing to get: “can you come over to Melbourne for the next round on September the 18th” without skipping a heartbeat Dad said “I can’t that weekend my daughter is coming home from Japan for a holiday that week, are there any other dates available?” Sadly there wasn’t…that’s right my Dad literally put me ahead of winning a million without thinking twice cause to him spending time with me was worth way more.
This is my Dad through and through always putting us kids (and now grandkids) before himself, spending all the time in the world with us being a family….He is literally perfect to me!
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Ten years ago, when I was 23 years old, the unimaginable happened to my extremely close family. We lost my amazing Dad to cancer. I have so many wonderful memories of the man I am so honoured to call my father – the kindest, most gentle, supportive and loving man I have ever known. I also have many sad memories – mainly condensed into the three months of his illness, watching his health decline and although he never ‘burdened’ us with it, his fear of what would come next.
The hardest part for me is that all of the most joyous moments of my life, my wedding day, the birth of my niece and nephews and eventually, my own two children, are always shadowed by a little sadness. That ‘cheated’ feeling that he wasn’t there to give me away, or spoil our children the way we knew he would have relished, or grow old with the one who longs for him the most. My beautiful Mum.
Yet through my sadness, I have many things to be grateful for. Dad knew, and adored, the man who would become my husband. A beautiful man who privately asked my Dad for his permission to marry me and then proposed to me at his bedside. Most of all, I am so amazingly lucky to have had this man as my father. To have been nurtured and loved by him and most of all, shown how a truly exceptional husband and father should be. Just like him. Just like my husband, who is a wonderful husband and a remarkable father to our children. And because of my Dad, I wouldn’t have settled for anything less. xo
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Just like many other daughters in this wide wide world, I too have many many fond memories with my father. To me my Daddy is everything, because if it wasn’t for him, I would not be sitting here right now typing away.
My most treasured moment in life to do with Dad, is the day we all went to the Calliope River. I remember the day was so full of fun, joy, swimming and splashing with friends, a delicious lunch, and love all around, till disaster struck…My friend and I were swimming and splashing around together holding hands, and we decided to see how far in the river we could get before we couldn’t touch the bottom. The next thing I knew, I was unfortunately being pushed down by my panicked friend, with her feet ending up on my shoulders. Last things I remember, is seeing alot of brown water, and thinking this is it, then all went black.
I awoke on the river bank coughing up crap loads of water with my poor mother screaming in the background, and My Daddy with the biggest smile saying “Thought I lost you there for a minute my precious girl” followed by the biggest hug and lots and lots of kisses.
To tell this moment of life to this day fills my eyes with many tears. I will always owe my life to my parents, but for Dad, he will always hold my most Treasured Hero Medal for ever and a day. Love you so much Merv McKee, My Hero, My Dad!!
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My husband has suffered from severe post natal depression after the birth of both our kids. PND is hard if you’re a woman ( I would know, I had it as well for our second!), but in a lot of ways it’s almost harder for a man because many people (dr’s included) have never heard of it. Part of the problem was that his father wasn’t a terribly hands on dad and so my husband had no one to look to for how do parent his own children.
Our youngest is now 13 months and although my husband is still battling his demons he is such a great, hands on, equal partner dad. He NEVER ‘babysits’, but he does look after the kids while I work (and sometimes even play). Ourchildren will never know what it is like to have an absentee parent.
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When I was about 3 years old My Dad was Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer he is still around today Luckily but we did not expect him to be at all and he is still fighting this Horrible Disease. When he got sick my mum was forced to work two jobs to keep food on the table for me and my 2 Brothers. He took on the role of a Mother and Father Somewhat From doing my Hair for school to Having to go buy me Pads when I got my First Period and always Making us Kids Smile even when he was So sick.
On my Wedding day in 2009 I just could not Believe he was actually here to walk me down the Aisle and he was so Proud. During our Father Daughter Dance he whispered to me “You are still my Little Girl”. My Wedding day is my Fondest Memory because I never thought he would be here to walk me down the Aisle.
Sadly in 2011 My Mum was diagnosed with Glioblasoma and we Lost her 6 months later. It has been extremely hard for all of us but especially Dad he never thought he would be the one at her Funeral. Yet somehow he still Manages to Smile and Repeat his “Very Funny Dad Jokes”.
I am Truly Lucky to have him as my Father.
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I have many special moments with my dad. We have that father daughter connection that I think many girls have with their dads. I’m his little girl, and he is the man I am most proud of and love sharing all of my news with.
This year, my Dad completed the Kokoda track. I doubted he would get past the first day. But he got through the entire thing! I think anyone who can do Kokoda is an inspiration and the fact that someone in my family has completed it is amazing. I could not be prouder of him and if I could present him with a medal for sheer amazingness then I would.
This year my dad would be Daddy-Hi-Ho. I just imagine he would have being whistling ‘Hi ho hi ho, it’s off to work we go’ from Snow White all through the Kokoda track. He also came home looking like one of the dwarfs from Snow White with a full white beard. And that is an image that holds a special place in my mind. I am so proud that he completed the track and I never should have doubted that he wouldn’t of been able to do it. As always, Dad’s are always right
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Ah, my dad. He’s a bit bumbly, more than a little bit clumsy, and the most hilarious out-of-rhythm dancer you’ve ever seen. But most importantly, he is also the most incredibly caring, sensitive and generous people I know.
He works at an Endeavour farm in Bundaberg, leading a crew of people with and without intellectual disabilities. It’s hard work helping to run a farm – he’s not getting any younger – and he doesn’t always love it but I can’t think of a better place for him to be.
My favourite memory? When my sister and I were kids we all lived on a farm about 50km out of town, close to the creek. We’d get up early with the yabby pump and pop out at low tide to get a bucket full of yabbies – he’d rush down the mud flat furiously pumping and my sister and I would tumble along behind him, scrambling to pick up the yabbies before they scooted back into their holes.
Then, later on, we’d get in the tinny and hit the water, hooking bream and whiting and the occasional mangrove jack or trevally. Then in the middle of the day we’d pull up on a bank and he’d produce a few bricks, an old bbq plate and hey presto – barbecue! He’d scale and fillet a few fresh fish, pop a few sausages on the barbie for non-fish-eater me and we’d munch on them with white bread and tomato sauce before cleaning up and jumping back in the boat.
It’s a simple memory. It’s not particularly heroic or inspirational, but it is my favourite memory.
There is nothing like the feeling of calm and freedom I felt sitting in the boat with a line in the water, and Dad was always there to help get the fish off the hook or to guide me through how to tie the knots when putting the tackle on the line. Didn’t matter how many times he had to show me, he’d always step me through slowly, patiently and with minimal fuss.
I have to admit sometimes he drives me up the wall but I am so proud I have a caring, hard-working and generous man for a father.
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I miss my Dad. He died of cancer when I was 12. He and I shared a ridiculous excitement for birthdays and Christmas. My Mum and brother don’t quite ‘get it’.
My parents seperated when I was 9. My Mum, brother and I moved away to live in a house in the country. One Saturday (i was 12) my Dad turned up out of the blue. I remember it so well because i was downstairs working on a school project and I thought this is weird, it’s not school holidays so not scheduled visiting time. He lived a 12 hour drive away. Anyway, he went upstairs to talk to my Mum and I was eventually greeted with the news that Dad would be moving in with us effective immediately. My dreams and wishes had come true. Turns he had driven straight from the doctors office to us without even packing a bag. He had been given the news that he didn’t have long to live and my Mum being a nurse decided it would be best for him to be near his children while she cared for him. To this day I’ve not had the courage to ask my Mum exactly how the conversation went. I’m too scared to hear how scared he would have been feeling.
I remember at one point after he’d become bed ridden he asked to bring him the books I’d been reading. I was obsessed with the silver brumby series. They were books where the main characters were wild horses. That talked! He read them all just so he could enter my world and talk with me about my interests at the time.
I wish he could have watched me get married. I wish He knew my children. I wish he could see how my middle son looks EXACTLY like him. His smile it’s just the same. Yet everyone tells how that besutiful son of mine doesn’t look like either of his parents.
I just miss him.
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Wow, good luck to whoever judges this, all the posts have been so real and inspiring. My Dad would be the Ready Set Go type Dad, the sporty type, who was a real mans man, played sport, watched sport, talked sport and I’m sure would live at the beach if he could. Many of my memorieswith my Dad are at the beach, and my one particular memory is one day at Queenscliff it was a huge surf..so much so that there were not many people game enough to take these waves on, however being the persistent 10 year old I was begged Dad to take me out in it; Mum had other ideas and insisted we didn’t.
Needless to say this made me want to go in more, and with Dad’s permission we went in, I look back now and there is no way I would allow either of my daughters in with those conditions either, but Dad just said hold on to his back and “you’ll be right” and that’s exactly what I did, held on for dear life, and I have never felt more safe then I did that day, but from that day onwards, have never been scared in the surf.
Now this might be entering towards two memories, but 6 weeks after the birth of my first daughter my father lost his long battle with cancer, and to watch this tough first grade footballer and beach inspector hold my new bundle so tenderly and softly, I wondered if I would be able to instill the same strength and moral values that my father gave me with his ” she’ll be right attitude”. This was only days before he passed away.
I am so grateful for this opportunity to write about him, as Fathers Day this year also happens to be the anniversary of his death and a nice time to reflect on some happy memories.
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I didn’t really know my Dad growing up. He worked 18 hour days pretty much 7 days a week. Because of my dad’s work, we were constantly moving. My dad was always ok when we moved to a new place – he had his job that consumed him. But for my mother and me, it was always harder and so we developed a special closeness. When we were new and didn’t know anyone, we would go shopping, see a movie and explore the new city together. My dad worked. And his job was stressful so in the fleeting moments when he home he was always tired, stressed and disconnected. He also didn’t really know how to interact with children – he loved me, but couldn’t relate to me. His conversations were limited to his work and as a 7 year old, I couldn’t relate to him either. But he was always there and he was my dad and I loved him. It wasn’t until I was much older did we finally catch up with each other. I now come to him for advice on my career, my financials, when I bought a house and now that he is retired, he comes to me for recommendations on movies, restaurants, theater and music. It took 18+ years, but we have finally learned how to relate to each other and the time that I spend with him now is invaluable. There is no one moment – it’s every moment. We go out for coffee, shop at the farmers market, watch movies. When I recently moved half way across the world for my job which has proved to be harder than I thought and there have been so many moments where I have wanted to go back home, it has been my Dad who has been there for me, encouraging and believing in me. I am incredibly lucky to have the love and support from my both my parents, giving me the strength to take risks and pursue my goals and I absolutely give credit to my Dad for making me the person I am today.
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my dad was mr ‘can do’, whether for his family, his relatives, his friends, community, even for complete strangers he would do all in power to help and solve problems. He was both thoughtful and methodical, and I just assumed all dads were like this. Months after his sudden death I was taking his car to get air in the tyres – I was at the stage of anger in my grief and remember saying that he should be here to help me with this -who knew what pressure was right for commodore tyres! Grabbing the owners manual I flicked through to find the necessary advice – written on the page on tyres was my fathers careful notes on pressure for both his back and front tyres. My lovely, considerate dad was still helping me, in the practical and loving way I had known all my life- dad you were the best.
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What can I say about dad? He is the first of 10 in his family to come to Australia from Cambodia during the Khmer Rouge with my mother and handicap brother, he brought over each member of his family safely to Australia. He was the first to rent a two bedroom unit for all 10 family members + mum and son. He is the first to get a job and learn English in his new country which he now proudly calls home. He is the first out of all his brothers to buy a house for his wife and then two sons. He ran up and down the corridors in the hospital when i arrived in his world ‘WOOHOO I have a daughter’ he worked 3 jobs to support his wife & 3 kids. He worked 16 hour days, saw little of us but still made sure the time spent with us is family time. He always encouraged my brothers and I to do whatever we wanted in life, never pushed us to go straight to uni when he knew we will eventually find our feet. He helped me buy my first investment property. He is always reminding us how lucky we are, and that is how I feel, Lucky. He is my hero. I admire this man and hope that one day the father to my children will treat our kids exactly how my father treats my brother and I.
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My dad and I have always been close. I am a total daddy’s girl and I have so many great memories with him.
Throughout my teenage years he was a taxi for me and my friends, sacrificing pretty much every weekend to take me/us where we wanted. He put up with my various obsessions through my teenage years and was that dad who begrudgingly took his squealing teenage daughter and her pack of squealing friends to concerts and the like. He’s supported and encouraged me in everything I’ve ever wanted to be. Ever. From a vet to a singer and everything between and beyond. And he still continues to support me in everything.
My dad has taught me to be independent, to never give up and to always strive, try my absolute hardest and be the best. He still gets overly excited when I get good grades at uni (I’m 21, but he act’s like I’m still in primary school and have just received an award. It’s awesome.)
He taught me how to read – and I specifically remember sitting on my bed with him when I was about 4, trying to read a Sesame Street book and I couldn’t get the word “vegetables” out properly, so he persevered with me for what felt like forever until I could pronounce it properly, hahaha. I STILL remember him sitting there getting noticeably frustrated, going “VEG-E-TAB-LES” and me sitting there saying “vegebles?”
He taught me how to to write, how to ride a bike, how to fish and how to drive. Among a whole list of other things.
My parents have been divorced for almost 12 years now and my dad only lives 10 minutes away so I go down and visit him/hang out with him most nights of the week.
My dad, despite the fact he drives me absolutely mental at times, is both an amazing father and an amazing friend.
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Easy peasy…Tonight! I came home from yet another long day at work to be presented with a gift from Dad just because. A painting on canvas of a red rose (my favourite) that he has worked hard on and completed in art class that he had framed himself to give me. So chuffed and delighted and so proud he’s such a kind, sweet and gentle dad!
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If I win this I”m gonna have to gift it to my dad.
When I was 14 I was desperate to go see Guns N Roses play at Calder Park.
My dad not only took me and 7 friends to this concert but he hung out thru the crazy weather, wet t shirt comps and bikies and bought us all food.
As a lovely english gentleman Im sure he was more than slightly horrified at the audience his daughter and her friends fave band attracted.
That said he forever earned cool points and a mixture of admiration and bewilderment from his friends.
Who still to this day say theres many things I’d do but there s no way in hell I d have taken seven 14 year olds to Guns n Roses at Calder Park!
Dads FTW lol
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I had surgery a few of years ago, and when I came out I was very unwell and feeling quite distraught. For the next 2 days, I can’t remember a waking moment where my Dad wasn’t sitting next to my bed holding my hand. He even offered to sleep in a cot in the room so I wouldn’t have to stay by myself. It wasn’t a life or death situation, and in my dad’s work he’d seen plenty of people in much worse states than me, but knowing how scared I was he dropped everything to make sure I was okay.
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My Dad is my hero. I am an only child and we were an army family, and my favourite memories are of Dad being so handsome in his uniform. He served for 30 years, fought in Vietnam, was decorated and came home to marry the love of his life, my Mum. 45 years later they are still going strong.
My Dad was a fun, loving, caring Dad as I was growing up. But he came into his own when I came out as gay in my 20′s. He stood by me as our family threatened to fall apart. He loved me, guided me and supported me. And when my relationship fell apart 5 years later, he travelled 3 hours from city to city and back every week to live with me while I sorted myself out. On weekends he would go home to mum and then come back with a weeks worth of food from her and look after me.
And now he is a grandpa to my two children and is so wonderful in that role. My children adore him and my 5 year old son is the spitting image of him. In a week he will fly interstate just to come to fathers day breakfast at school with my son, so that he has someone by his side for fathers day too.
He is truly a great man and is my rock and my hero.
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I have a tear in my eye – what a great dad.
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This is a memory from at least 30 years ago…. as a family we would go to church in the city every sunday and this one particular time, driving home, the traffic was at a stand still. Mum and Dad sat in silence, eyes wandering and contemplating when Dad hopped out of the car took a few steps to a man who was lying on the steps of a dark, dull building lying under newspaper and other materials and handed him $20 and got back in the car. He said I hope he has a nice breakfast …. not another word was spoken about it and continued on our way home. A simple act of kindness that still makes me smile today. My dad, a man of few words rather serious and gruff taught us in that moment the importance of empathy, generousity and basic kindness. I felt so proud of him. Still baffled today as it was something I never imagined him to do. In just that one moment he may have changed someones outlook for the day! I like to find moments in the day where I can do the same. Thanks DAD!
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My parents got divorced when I was 2. My mum moved away and my dad became a single parent to me and my brother. He would work 2 jobs and do everything for us, fix our lunches, take us to school, pick us up, read to us, help us with homework, braid my hair, tuck us in at night, always loving us and letting us know how important we were, not wanting us to ever think our mum moved away because we weren’t ‘lovable’.
He is one of a kind and I feel so grateful to have had him as a father.
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Dammit, I’d love a Myer voucher but my Dad is an asshole.
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Agreed. We should get a voucher because we had an arsehole father because all of these commenters have had a lot more luck than we got. I can’t even make up a fake story about mine because I have no nice experience to draw from.
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When I was little I used to follow my Dad around like a puppy dog. He was my idol. He did everything to make me happy, even digging out half of under the house to build me the ultimate ‘girl cave’. We found pink lace curtains to put up and he used to come and sit with me and my many Barbie dolls in my cool cave on hot summer days. He picked up every injured stray animal and brought them home for us to rehabilitate, it was like our own private fauna reserve. He put up with the strange array of ‘strays’ that i brought home too in the form of boyfriends and comforted me when my heart was broken. Now I’m all grown up, I want to thank my wonderful Dad for making me the person I am today. I love you Dad. I am still your little girl.
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For my 35th birthday my dear dad drove a 2.5hr round trip so that he could deliver my birthday present to me before he and my mum went away on holidays that afternoon. There was a knock on the door and a card handed to me” We wanted to make sure you could buy yourself something nice on your special day bub”. He came in for a cuppa and then turned around and drove home. There are so many stories like this I could tell you about my Dad. He is simply the best man I know.
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My dad is amazing ! After years of trying for a baby , my husband and I finally feel pregnant , the same week my mum was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. It was a bitter sweet moment in our lives.
It wasn’t long before I was struck down with Hypermesis (severe morning sickness) and I nearly died.
My dad supported mum and I , plus our families through every step of our individual journeys .
A week after mum finished Chemo, my daughter was born and that first moment when my dad stood over her and watched her tiny body in the humidiy crib , and the look of pure joy on his face will forever be etched in my mind.
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My dad taught me how to sing loudly and without shame.
He introduced me to the classics with “American Pie” as our favourite, and we would sing in the car every morning on the way to school.
Whenever I hear this song I smile and think of dad.
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Out of the six members of my family, i have always gotten along best with my dad. My favourite memory is of all the times we were in the car together. Whether he was driving me home from work or to a friends or me in the drivers seat with the L plates on. We always talked most when we were in the car. Even when I was a kid, we had lots of road trips as a family (we moved around quite a bit!)
Dad would always make up games for us and we always went somewhere different. It was great bonding time for us.
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My father is the bees knees.
My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6 and I grew up splitting my time between them both but for some reason all of the major milestones I went through I was with my father.
He was a librarian for 25 years and gave me my love of books, he taught me how to ride a bike, he taught me how to cartwheel one afternoon on our farm, he went shopping with me for my first bra (mortifying at the time) and made a celebratory dinner when I first got my period.
He hemmed my school uniforms and contacted all of my books, he cooked and cleaned in an era that single Dad’s were a rarity. He’s respectful and caring and so very very supportive. He spent the last 2 years caring full time for his mother who passed away a few months ago. He’s the biggest feminist I know who has always always been my biggest cheerleader.
He taught me empathy and being still and has a wicked sense of humour and I’m getting a bit teary writing this because he’ll always be the first man I ever loved.
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Pachuca..I was Gifted and Blessed by the Gods..the pleasure was mine.
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Yesterday my brother saw his birth father, Jim, for the first time since he was 15 (he’s 38). His father was an alcoholic and my brother had cut-off contact with him because it was too much for my quiet, conservative brother to cope with.
They had lunch. Jim is obviously not well, but no mention was made of any illness. He doesn’t drink anymore. They had a great time. They laughed and Jim told him stories of when he was little that my Mum hadn’t known – times of when Mum was at work and Jim would take him to the park or to the three sisters in the Blue Mountains.
This story isn’t mine but when my brother told me, I wept. He has struggled so much without a Dad – my dad who brought him up wasn’t always the most together guy. But the relief and warmth in my brothers voice when he spoke of lunch with his Dad opened up something inside me. I am so pleased that something as little as lunch with your Dad can mean so, so much.
Thanks Jim. I know it’s late in life but there’s no point in wanting to change the past when you can’t. Thank you for giving my brother, who means more to me than he’ll ever know, some lovely memories.
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Just as an aside to this, they had breakfast yesterday and they’re planning to meet up again on Father’s Day – the first time they have spent Father’s Day together since my brother was a toddler. Awesome. What a day for my brother!!
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On my14th birthday my dad hand made a sign on material with felt pens and hung it over the western freeway. The morning of my birthday I wanted to catch the buss but he wouldn’t let me ( meanie) then driving to school I saw the sign ‘ Happy birthday Mel 14 on the 14th we love you’. It made me feel very special. I still have the sign and now my wonderful father is a fantastic role model for my three children and the kind of man I want my boys to be. Love you dad.
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I will never forget this one time, Geoff, my father figure, had broken up with my mother a few months previously, by still came around to give me a birthday present. He sat down with me on the front steps, and proudly presented me with my present. I unwrapped it, and found christina aguileras latest cd. Smiling, Geoff says “look! I went all the way into Geelong to get you a cd of your favourite singer!!” I smiled said thankyou, and then he left. The one thing I never said was that my favourite singer at the time was Kylie minogue
I love him for always being a father to me, even when he was not seeing my mother.
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One of my favourites is when I was about five or six my brother got cancer, he was about 7. We spent a lot of time in hospitals but once when my brother had to stay for about six weeks straight my mum stayed the whole time. It was me and dad at home, with grandparents around the corner.
Easter came around and I had to make a hat for the parade. Now, I’m not very crafty and neither is my dad and that hat was THE ugliest thing you have ever seen. But on the day of the parade I went into school and wore it in the parade with pride (even though some of the staples got caught in my hair).
My dad took himself out of his comfort zone to play around with pink streamers and pom poms to help me make this hat. While it was a pretty crap time my dad kept me together, supporting me and keeping me smiling.
I’ll never forget the time we spent together during that otherwise very crap time of our lives.
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Alison, that brought tears to my eyes. How lovely.
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Thanks Lisa! Hope my overuse of the word crap didn’t annoy anyone.
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lol I didn’t even notice it until you said it
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I am thrilled to have this opportunity to write about my Dad. I love when people ask about Dad and I have the opportunity to tell them about such an amazing man. He was the best Dad, can best Dad be a category of Dad?
My Dad was the least judgmental and most easy going guy I have ever met. He didn’t size people up the way so many of us seem to automatically, it didn’t matter if you were unemployed or working for a top tier law firm Dad would speak to everyone as an equal.
It’s hard to choose a favourite memory but one night in 2008 stands out. Dad was not well, a few weeks before this night doctors had discovered he had brain tumours. It was why he was so tired. In a short time his health had spiralled downwards and by this stage we were caring for our terminally ill Dad at home. Mum (his very best friend in the whole world) and his 3 daughters were all too young to lose a husband and a Dad but it had become our reality. He wasn’t able to really speak or eat and had lost all his independence. Dad didn’t respond much to our questions such as “do you want more dinner?” he could not offer us a “yes” or “no” to let us know if he was comfortable or not but every time I told him I loved him he would respond with “love you more”, to say those words he would speak and he said it to all of us all the time. One night I changed what I said and told him I love him SO MUCH, Dad’s response “I love you SO MUCH more”
My favourite memory is back on this night in 2008, Dad was sitting in our games room and had been hanging out with the family all day Mum and my older sister did not go to work that day and one of our very best family friends came around with some beautiful, bright sunflowers. I came back from my last exam for that semester and Dad was just relaxing in a chair in the games room, I turned the light on to sit with Dad and read. My older sister, an incredibly thoughtful person (someone you can always rely on) who is also kinda bossy, told me off. She said I was being rude turning a light on in the room and that Dad was happy and peaceful I should let him be and not turn on a bright light. That’s what I mean about thoughtful I didn’t even think about how Dad would feel with the bright light being turned on I just wanted to see to read and be with him but she considered him. At the time emotions could not have been higher and I was upset so I went to storm out of the room in a huff, angry at my bossy older sister. At that moment my Dad, who was no longer walking, talking or really eating reached his arm out from where he was sitting and put it on my thigh stopping me in my tracks. I looked down at his gorgeous face and I stopped, I realised how unimportant that was and what a waste it would be to spend time all huffy. I sat with him for a while, I can’t remember if the light was on or off, and I just loved him so much in that moment. So that is my favourite memory with my Dad, when he stopped me from getting into a huff. Sitting with him that time was the last time I was with him alive, when I got home later that night after a couple of hours celebrating a friend’s birthday with my sister he had died. The very last thing he did was stop me from being huffy. As always when faced with death you think “I will never get annoyed at small things again” you make impossible promises that don’t last but this memory will last forever! I love that it was the last thing he did.
This post inspired me to get out my old diary and on the 15th August 2008 (almost exactly 4 years ago) I wrote “I just want to annoy Dad crawling over him, hold his hand, take my sister her dinner with him at work on a Tuesday night, come home from a concert and tell him every tiny detail.” I miss him so much.
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Curls ur memory of ur father brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful father u have!
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My Dad is one of the smartest people I know but has no common sense. He is a complete klutz. I still giggle when I remember the time he fell into our backyard swimming pool while eating cereal in his pyjamas! He was just standing in the water looking shocked with sultana bran floating all around him.
Then there was the time he reversed into the closed garage door when taking us to school and we all sat laughing ourselves silly while he bashed it back into shape with a hammer.
Oh and my favourite – I invited my boyfriend to my place to watch a movie one night. We hear my dad coughing and carrying on then stumbling down the stairs, he tells us he is driving himself to hospital cause he is choking on a carrot. Sure enough he had it surgically removed the next day and kept the carrot in a speciman jar in the freezer until mum finally threw it out a few years later. I was so embarrassed but that boyfriend is now my husband so he wasn’t too scared off by my crazy family.
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i love my dad! he means the world to me! he has such a great sense of humour and is very calm and collected and i feel i can ask him for advice on anything. He has introduced me to the great musicians of our time and taught me the appreciation of a nice glass of wine! ^_^ ….i remember when we were young my dad wasnt around much as he worked 10-12 hours a day and he still does at 60 plus….through his hard work he has taught us to have a strong work ethic.
When i told my dad i was engaged to a man he hadnt even met yet ( and didnt meet until the nigth before our wedding) he was just fine he said as long as i loved him that was all that matters and during my relationship the early stages when my partner and i were seperated for a period of time and it was tough he was very encouraging and said “true love will prevail” il never forget that he always believed in us and our love…was very supportive from the first moment i told him i was in love with a brasilian haha!!
im very proud to have him as my father
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My dad means more to me than I could possibly say. He is beloved by all his students, by my mum’s friends, by everyone. I’m choking up just thinking about how much I love my dad.
Anyway. My favourite memory is going to the cinema with my dad, just the two of us, when I was in university I think. We saw Tais Toi, which was (and is) hysterical – even though my father speaks no French whatsoever, we were both rolling in the aisles. He is a very clever man and it takes something really good to make him laugh – which is one of my favourite sounds in the world. Sitting in the cinema, with my dad, crying with laughter, is one of my favourite moments ever.
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This is my favourite comment on this post
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My Dad has been a teacher for over 35 years, more years than I have been alive. He loves teaching kids about science, music and good jokes and is a true advocate for the needs of the child. I saw my Dad working tirelessly for years trying to make learning fun and interesting for his classes on week nights and weekends as well as running around to after school music events with the bands he put together at schools.
Before I went to school, I would go with my Dad to work for the day and hang out with the kids in his class and the school band. I was 10-foot tall as his daughter and I loved all of the attention the kids would give me. I wanted to be just like Dad when I was older.
When I started going to school, Dad encouraged me to play an instrument and started a band at my school so I could learn and participate. That would be a great part of mine and my friends lives. When I went down the street, the other kids would point to Dad and say to their parents ‘that’s the Band man’.
As a highschooler, my Dad became an embarrassment. Other kids taunted me about my Dad, who wore long socks and shorts, told really bad jokes and was a little bit passionate about learning. Did I mention he was a stickler for rules? This didn’t wash well with my ‘cooler’ friends! My Dad was always dutifully driving me to after school ballet classes, my first job as well as the odd party here and there (without so much as a peep to Mum about what he saw thank goodness!).
As an adult with my first child, I now see my Dad as a truly unique and special man. Thousands of kids have had my Dad as their teacher and gone on to great things. I love the odd interaction I have with strangers who figure out that I am his daughter and tell me wonderful stories about how he had changed their child’s life and realise that I have not only had a Dad, but I have been able to share his gifts with so many other kids. The funny thing is, I don’t think Dad really even thinks about the effect he has had on others.
Dad has taught me that pure unselfish care for others is a beautiful gift and while he gets little thanks from his school kids, I make sure I tell him often now what he means to me. While I didn’t end up becoming a school teacher myself, I have definitely learned from my Dad that if you are passionate about what you do, it is never a chore and people will embrace you for the love you bring to what you do.
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Keep them coming everyone! The comments are fantastic. I’m getting teary over a couple of them. So nice to hear all this lovely, lovely love for dads!
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Oh jamila I just posted about my dad and it appeared and then disappeared. Can you find it?
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Hi Blossom
We’ll have a dig through the spam filter and see if it ended up in there. Be with you shortly.
Jamila x
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You know what I’ll remember as my most favourite time with my dad?
It was on my wedding day. We hired just a plain white car and the plan was for dad to drive me with me sitting in the back seat (with my huge dress!)
The look on his face when he opened the door for me was beautiful. His face told me that he was so proud of me and so happy for my choice of husband.
As we drove to the church he beeped to the neighbours and waved to them with the hugest smile on his face. We laughed and joked on the way there and he loved that people beeped their horn at us when they saw it was a bridal car.
I will always remember how relaxed and loved I felt in that moment.
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